Absence Before Marriage

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  • InsolentMint
    InsolentMint Posts: 48
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    I want to be openminded to the idea, but honestly, my initial reaction is I'd be quite put off. MAINLY because, well, sex is very important to me, and it's important that we're compatible. There's no way I'd marry anyone without knowing that.

    Also, I prefer men who've developed some mad skills in that department, then I don't really care if he's had a man-*kitten* past. Prefer that to someone I have to teach from square one, any day.

    But HEY. People are different. And have different values. I'm sure you'll find someone who share yours.
    I don't think poorly of people who choose to wait, it's just not for me at all.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    Sex in and of itself is not "morally wrong".

    I believe God designed it as a special gift between a husband and wife.
    It is the most intimate part of your relationship.

    When you wait you are demonstrating a selfless type of love that says, I love you so much that I am willing to deny myself in order to do what is best for you and our marriage.
    It is the highest level of respect you can give someone.

    I don't see it as a restriction but rather as a protection from a loving God.
    He wants the very best for people and knows that more and more of that special intimacy and trust will be lost with each subsequent sexual partner.
  • PoopieMonster
    PoopieMonster Posts: 295 Member
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    Being completely honest, no I would not date someone who pledged abstinence before marriage. Big turn off.
  • lsmsrbls
    lsmsrbls Posts: 232 Member
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    Abstinence is not for me at all.

    I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies, and I attach no moral value to having sex or not having sex.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    I personally think you need to find out if you're compatible in EVERY way...hell..if I waited till I married someone and then found out they had a small ****, I'd be seriously pissed off.
    See that is why I insist on sex before marriage, I would rather she get pissed off at my small **** now, rather than after we say "I do".

    You knew what you were getting into!!!
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
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    I'm assuming you mean "abstinence"?
    Yes, that is exactly what I meant. If only computers could figure out what word you really wanted to use..

    Congratulations to you. I do think it's a choice for people; it's just that some people seem to think that and think it's great, then decide they would rather not be with that person because of the exact same reason.

    Follow your own compass & you will be alright.

    This.
  • JessicaPasieka
    JessicaPasieka Posts: 149 Member
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    Waiting is definitely not for me. I don't believe it makes me a better or worse person if I choose to wait or not. And I don't view it as a sin. It's a beautiful exchange and experience between my partner and I. It's not like I'm running out sleeping with 50 guys. I sleep with the one man I love. Just do your own thing and whatever makes you happy. But I just find it adds to the relationship, along with everything else. It keeps it strong and interesting.
  • TallGlassOfQuirky
    TallGlassOfQuirky Posts: 282 Member
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    I was abstinent before I married my ex husband. I truly consider that a mistake because we were not even remotely compatible in that regard and it was a disaster throughout our marriage.

    Not doing that again.
  • MaydayParadeGirl
    MaydayParadeGirl Posts: 190 Member
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    I don't think that sex is morally wrong, and I feel sorry for people who do. I don't think that the meaning of life, if any, is that the person who denies themselves the most pleasure wins at the end.

    As someone whose waiting until I find the right person, and yeah I want the right person to be the person I marry, to have sex I'm kind of put off by your statement. it's not something that I think is 'morally wrong' Not everyone sees it that way, I also don't think I'm 'denying myself pleasure' okay sure everyone enjoys sex but I've seen what losing your virginity to somenoe who just takes advantage of you looks like and I'm not willing to put myself through that. I do think that it's something that isnt' meant to just be given up to anyone and everyone, and I don't want to be looked down upon for my thoughts. My virginity is something that I believe is MY choose to give up whenever I feel like it. If that means some guys are going to judge me for it and girls are going to call me a prude, well fine go ahead. I don't run around telling everyone who has sex before they are married that they're sluts or *kitten* or whatever. Don't feel sorry for people who make the decision not to have sex, I'm not missing out on anything my life is just fine without sex. You need to go forward when you're ready, and hearing/seeing/reading things like this is probably part of the reason so many teenagers are just barreling ahead and having sex all crazy. People have put this idea on sex that it's okay to just throw it around, to use it to your advantage. I think that is wrong. I'm not saying everyone should wait until they're married, I'm saying everyone needs to back off those people who arent' having sex, stop feeling 'sorry' for them and stop making them feel like damn freaks.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    My brother was abstinent with his wife before he got married. The wedding night was tense and stressful for everyone...

    But they have two kids now, so I guess all the equipment fitted together fine.
  • JessicaPasieka
    JessicaPasieka Posts: 149 Member
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    Not everyone who has sex before marriage "throws" it around. I'm 22. I've slept with 2 people. Both of which were/are long term boyfriends whom I love/loved very much. I do not at all regret how I lost my virginity or to whom because it was out of love and it wasn't spur of the moment with someone random.
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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    Everyone has their own reasoning for doing what they decide to do. If I met a woman and fell madly in love with her, and she wanted to abstain until marriage, I think I could do that. I mean, it's been along time since I have had sex anyways...so meh.
  • yanniejannie
    yanniejannie Posts: 1,090 Member
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    I'm female, 61..........been around the block enough to firmly believe that knowledge is a GOOD thing----after all, the assumption is that this is for the rest of your life, right? Would never, never, never marry someone w/o having any idea if we were sexually compatible........OK all you starry-eyed dreamers can feel free to cringe now........

    In any event
    what in the world does this have to do with motivation and support for losing weight????????
  • rhia575
    rhia575 Posts: 212 Member
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    I am choosing to wait for the right person to come along. When it comes to relationships and family lifestyle etc I feel like I take a very old fashioned view, really feels like I was born in the wrong time period sometimes. When I can see all my friend losing their 'V' in the last few years and having extreme regrets spending months being depressed about it. Why would I do that to myself? I plan to have sex with one person in my life, and I would never judge someone who has made mistakes but personally I just think it's important to me and I want a real man who can respect that kind of thing. Nowadays it's something that few people can understand but to me it is very important. Although for me it's not all about waiting till marriage if I am 100% certain I will be with that person forever then I am willing to do it with them. Well that's just my thoughts on the subject. Perhaps my views are quite strong to the one side but I definitely think the amount of 14-18 year olds having sex is awful and something needs to change.
  • arains89
    arains89 Posts: 442 Member
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    I don't think that sex is morally wrong, and I feel sorry for people who do. I don't think that the meaning of life, if any, is that the person who denies themselves the most pleasure wins at the end.

    I LOVE THIS!!!
  • msaprilm1
    msaprilm1 Posts: 47
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    In any event
    what in the world does this have to do with motivation and support for losing weight????????
    [/quote]
    Sex is great cardio (if you are doing it right) !!!!! HAPPY HUMP DAY:)
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Sex in and of itself is not "morally wrong".
    I believe God designed it as a special gift between a husband and wife.
    It is the most intimate part of your relationship.
    When you wait you are demonstrating a selfless type of love that says, I love you so much that I am willing to deny myself in order to do what is best for you and our marriage.
    It is the highest level of respect you can give someone.
    I don't see it as a restriction but rather as a protection from a loving God.
    He wants the very best for people and knows that more and more of that special intimacy and trust will be lost with each subsequent sexual partner.

    I love THIS!
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    I want a sexual person as I have a high drive. I want to see if the person Im planning on being faithful to can keep up. I dont want to have to find out a couple of months after getting married that I'm with someone who has a lower drive then me.

    If a person saves themselves for marriage can they possibly have a high drive? I dont really think so.

    Sex is fun. I dont hold it against anyone for having had a sexual lifestyle prior to meeting me.
    I dont hold it against anyone for choosing to wait till marriage either. Personal choices are made for differnt reasons and I dont judge others on that basis.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Well in my experience "absence" is one of the only ways to ensure "abstinence" before marriage. "Absinthe" is not. Neither are "abs sins". The end.
  • rhia575
    rhia575 Posts: 212 Member
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    I personally think you need to find out if you're compatible in EVERY way...hell..if I waited till I married someone and then found out they had a small ****, I'd be seriously pissed off.
    See that is why I insist on sex before marriage, I would rather she get pissed off at my small **** now, rather than after we say "I do".

    You knew what you were getting into!!!
    You can be intimate and have fun without actually having sex

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