Do you post "gym selfies?"
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Constantly posting selfies is, in my opinion, a sign of being narcissistic. If you're taking these selfies "for yourself" - keep it to yourself. If you want to share your accomplishments - I seriously doubt that you "accomplish" something every "photo friday". For those wanting to share their progress, I seriously doubt that your FB "friends" give a flying bird about your progress or you.0
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MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When people have a baby they post a picture, get married post a picture, graduate post a picture would these pictures also fall under narcissism, I think any period in your life you are happy/proud and feeling accomplished you should be allowed to share without being labelledMireyGal76 wrote: »Didn't you know? If you are fit, you're supposed to be ashamed of that progress. You should not share it on Facebook, because that would be narcissistic. You should not post status updates of successes in the gym or progress made. That is braggery.
However... If you are volunteering at your child's school - THAT is FB worthy. Because that shows you are a good parent. Or if you make a delicious meal. You should post THOSE pics. Or, you can always feel free to post a meme about how you are NOT fit or beautiful, that you have curves and focus on your family. Those are acceptable.
But posting pictures that show you may have a nice physique? Despicable. Heaven forbid someone feels that you are telling them that you are a better at parenting er... cooking er... taking care of yourself. You may come across as having a better family life er... cooking skills er... body than them. And that's clearly wrong.
ETA: Oh and don't forget vacation photos... those are perfect photos to post. No one will ever think that you are posting those because you're richer than them, or have better opportunities. Everyone wants to see your posts of your world travels. But not your running route... or your new work out clothes. Fancy shoes? yes... Runners no.
Clear... right?
I might be misunderstanding, but are you honestly suggesting that having nice abs is on par with volunteer work or as relevant and interesting to your social network as a wedding and/or a new baby?
clearly, if I agree with your understanding of what I'm saying, I must be highly narcissistic... or at the very least, have a flawed sense of understanding about what my "social network" - aka family and friends - want to know about my life.
You truly think your family cares more about your workout than if you got married?
Fwiw, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with gym selfies, or any other kind of selfies; i just don't agree with the comparisons you used.
my family knows I got married.
look at your feed and what it's made up of:
- pics of kids (I do that)
- inspirational quotes
- funny jokes
- recipes
- buy my seacret / partylite / epicure / miracle cream that makes you look like julia roberts
- work vent
- quilts
- vacation trips
- wine glasses half full
- painted toes
- fish stories
- new cars
- new homes
- cd release parties
I haven't seen a "Hey I got married, here's my pics" post in ages
So why is it that a reference to the gym is not acceptable with the rest of these? Why is that narcissistic, and these are not?
Because an imaginary study said so. In all seriousness, there's probably a study that claims that several of those things are narcissistic, but the last time I checked, that's basically one of the central points of social media. "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT WHAT I DID!" Assuming that other people care about every little thing a person does is narcissistic. Should it matter? That's what "following" someone on social media entails. If someone doesn't like it, the sensible thing would be to ignore it (or possibly stop following if it's bad enough). The fact that people freak out over what someone else might post on social media enough to rant about it is as narcissistic as the rest of it. "You did this, now here is why you're wrong."0 -
Let's pose another question:
Should pride be kept to one's self and not posted to a complete public audience (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.), could that no longer be pride and reach vanity?
What does the study say about people who are extremely concerned with how much pride/vanity anyone else might have?0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »So are what's allowed as far as gym selfies go dependent on the person? I'm guessing no one wants a shirtless ab shot of me since I"m 5'11" 230lbs 28% body fat right? But I've spent years working on my body though. Too bad I started at 365lbs. Maybe then I could "just be proud of my hard work" publicly.
as far as I'm concerned? I'd say hell yes - post that pic. Because you worked freaking hard. Post the before, post the after. And I'll celebrate with you vehemently. Because you worked hard and you were determined, and you have a RIGHT TO BE PROUD of that.
Post it.
So why the before AND the after? Why not just the after? The answer to that question is why people think gym selfies are douchie.
then do the after. your real friends will know the before anyways and respect the work you put in.
I'm like everyone else though. I don't care if my friends are proud of me. I want the admiration of strangers LOL.
you've done an amazing job with that pizza avatar. I'm very impressed.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Selfies? Yes, sometimes. Do I post them on social media? No.
Definitely yes to progress pics.0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »I made the mistake of posting a pic on FB that revealed abs. I was in a bathing suit and was fishing with my girls. We caught an amazing bass.
I received a private message from a "friend" telling me to cover up, that the person was shocked that I was so obviously calling attention to myself, and they thought I was a better person than that.
I save them for here now.
?!? I'd delete that friend!! Rock them abs girl!0 -
Angelfire365 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »I made the mistake of posting a pic on FB that revealed abs. I was in a bathing suit and was fishing with my girls. We caught an amazing bass.
I received a private message from a "friend" telling me to cover up, that the person was shocked that I was so obviously calling attention to myself, and they thought I was a better person than that.
I save them for here now.
?!? I'd delete that friend!! Rock them abs girl!
Thank you. I did, but for other reasons. But I also learned quickly to filter what I post there.
Fitness stuff is saved for my locked down wall here.
Select other stuff goes to facebook, ditto instagram because it's a blend of my two worlds.0 -
'Selfies' are part of today's world. kids, and adults post selfies just for fun to their friends, to groups, FB, MFP and everything. It's just what people do.
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It's not saying it's wrong to post gym selfies, the Brunel University study simply states people who do post gym selfies tend to be narcissists and their narcissism is fueled by the "Likes" or positive feedback. It's to boost their ego, whether it's right or wrong is irrelevant.
I think this goes for selfies in general- not just gym selfies.
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marthaelisa80 wrote: »LOL I guess the majority of the world is narcissistic because selfies are everywhere! Whether in the gym or not in the gym, someone is taking a selfie right at this very moment! Hmm, Okay got to go take a selfie! LOL
A very generalized statement I might add.
At what point is a selfie 'a photo meant to show- off' and at what point is it simply just 'a photo'?
Every photo you post, except for the last one is progress photo...
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And you think this new and improved mentality will be achieved by calling Mirey a douche and trying to shame her into not posting pics because you're jealous?MireyGal76 wrote: »Angelfire365 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »I made the mistake of posting a pic on FB that revealed abs. I was in a bathing suit and was fishing with my girls. We caught an amazing bass.
I received a private message from a "friend" telling me to cover up, that the person was shocked that I was so obviously calling attention to myself, and they thought I was a better person than that.
I save them for here now.
?!? I'd delete that friend!! Rock them abs girl!
Thank you. I did, but for other reasons. But I also learned quickly to filter what I post there.
Fitness stuff is saved for my locked down wall here.
Select other stuff goes to facebook, ditto instagram because it's a blend of my two worlds.
Doesn't everyone have to filter? Fat people definitely do. Like I said, I can't post any shirtless pictures. Even if I was thin I'm not sure I could. Then the people who don't like hairy chests would flip out. Again, this is the real issue with the selfie/body photo/etc. The narrow definition of what people think is good looking enough to put into a photo. Unless we get rid of that mentality there will always be this kind of backlash in the opposite direction.
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Nothing is worse than Facebook!! It seems like people have to post selfies just for the responses like : OMG you are so pretty or OMG you are so beautiful. I get once in awhile...but c'mon people really everyday????? There is my frustration...just sayin..
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I just think its funny... ironic maybe.
I'm saying... fit people can't post pics (because they get shamed).
BFDeal is saying fat people can't post pics until they're fit (because of shame).
Apparently, no one can? Pet pics anyone?0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When people have a baby they post a picture, get married post a picture, graduate post a picture would these pictures also fall under narcissism, I think any period in your life you are happy/proud and feeling accomplished you should be allowed to share without being labelledMireyGal76 wrote: »Didn't you know? If you are fit, you're supposed to be ashamed of that progress. You should not share it on Facebook, because that would be narcissistic. You should not post status updates of successes in the gym or progress made. That is braggery.
However... If you are volunteering at your child's school - THAT is FB worthy. Because that shows you are a good parent. Or if you make a delicious meal. You should post THOSE pics. Or, you can always feel free to post a meme about how you are NOT fit or beautiful, that you have curves and focus on your family. Those are acceptable.
But posting pictures that show you may have a nice physique? Despicable. Heaven forbid someone feels that you are telling them that you are a better at parenting er... cooking er... taking care of yourself. You may come across as having a better family life er... cooking skills er... body than them. And that's clearly wrong.
ETA: Oh and don't forget vacation photos... those are perfect photos to post. No one will ever think that you are posting those because you're richer than them, or have better opportunities. Everyone wants to see your posts of your world travels. But not your running route... or your new work out clothes. Fancy shoes? yes... Runners no.
Clear... right?
I might be misunderstanding, but are you honestly suggesting that having nice abs is on par with volunteer work or as relevant and interesting to your social network as a wedding and/or a new baby?
clearly, if I agree with your understanding of what I'm saying, I must be highly narcissistic... or at the very least, have a flawed sense of understanding about what my "social network" - aka family and friends - want to know about my life.
but therein is the problem.
I have friends that CONSTANTLY talk about struggling with their weight, and having no time, and not knowing what to do. And yet they're posting recipes for these crazy desserts, and food parties and the like.
If i even hint at the fact that I watch my food... or that I go to the gym... or how I manage my life so that I fit that stuff in... it gets reduced to me saying "look at my abs"
That is bullsh!t.
Nothing I said in the quote you placed said I had abs. I talked about progress made. I talked about the results of putting in time and effort. Training and dedication. You are the one who whittled it down to being about abs. Just like most everyone (non fitness minded) on FB does.
So, if I spend hours and hours crocheting a blanket. Is it safe to post a picture of the blanket? Am I bragging about the blanket? About my skill at chrochet? Am I assuming anyone gives a crap about what I did? I shouldn't assume that my crochet skills are interesting to anyone because they're not on par with volunteering or pushing out a baby?
I never once said you shouldn't post them. I never said they were bragging. I never said no one was interested in them.
I just disagreed that they were on par with volunteering or "pushing out a baby", which were the comparisons you and another poster made in the posts I responded to.
And how exactly do you figure I'm "non fitness minded"? I'm holding a kickboxing championship belt in my profile picture.0 -
MakePeasNotWar wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When people have a baby they post a picture, get married post a picture, graduate post a picture would these pictures also fall under narcissism, I think any period in your life you are happy/proud and feeling accomplished you should be allowed to share without being labelledMireyGal76 wrote: »Didn't you know? If you are fit, you're supposed to be ashamed of that progress. You should not share it on Facebook, because that would be narcissistic. You should not post status updates of successes in the gym or progress made. That is braggery.
However... If you are volunteering at your child's school - THAT is FB worthy. Because that shows you are a good parent. Or if you make a delicious meal. You should post THOSE pics. Or, you can always feel free to post a meme about how you are NOT fit or beautiful, that you have curves and focus on your family. Those are acceptable.
But posting pictures that show you may have a nice physique? Despicable. Heaven forbid someone feels that you are telling them that you are a better at parenting er... cooking er... taking care of yourself. You may come across as having a better family life er... cooking skills er... body than them. And that's clearly wrong.
ETA: Oh and don't forget vacation photos... those are perfect photos to post. No one will ever think that you are posting those because you're richer than them, or have better opportunities. Everyone wants to see your posts of your world travels. But not your running route... or your new work out clothes. Fancy shoes? yes... Runners no.
Clear... right?
I might be misunderstanding, but are you honestly suggesting that having nice abs is on par with volunteer work or as relevant and interesting to your social network as a wedding and/or a new baby?
clearly, if I agree with your understanding of what I'm saying, I must be highly narcissistic... or at the very least, have a flawed sense of understanding about what my "social network" - aka family and friends - want to know about my life.
but therein is the problem.
I have friends that CONSTANTLY talk about struggling with their weight, and having no time, and not knowing what to do. And yet they're posting recipes for these crazy desserts, and food parties and the like.
If i even hint at the fact that I watch my food... or that I go to the gym... or how I manage my life so that I fit that stuff in... it gets reduced to me saying "look at my abs"
That is bullsh!t.
Nothing I said in the quote you placed said I had abs. I talked about progress made. I talked about the results of putting in time and effort. Training and dedication. You are the one who whittled it down to being about abs. Just like most everyone (non fitness minded) on FB does.
So, if I spend hours and hours crocheting a blanket. Is it safe to post a picture of the blanket? Am I bragging about the blanket? About my skill at chrochet? Am I assuming anyone gives a crap about what I did? I shouldn't assume that my crochet skills are interesting to anyone because they're not on par with volunteering or pushing out a baby?
I never once said you shouldn't post them. I never said they were bragging. I never said no one was interested in them.
I just disagreed that they were on par with volunteering or "pushing out a baby", which were the comparisons you and another poster made in the posts I responded to.
And how exactly do you figure I'm "non fitness minded"? I'm holding a kickboxing championship belt in my profile picture.
I didn't say YOU were not fitness minded.
I was referring to the people on facebook who take offense to fitnessy stuff. The "not fitness minded" was a clarification in reference to the segment of FB people that are not fitness minded. This was stated because more of my friends ARE fitness minded, and they DO like to see that stuff on FB.
The not fitness minded people on FB, don't want to see it. The fitness minded often do.
The problem is that FB is a blend of both, so you are forced to go with the lowest common denominator.
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On par in what context? Their value to the poster, their value to the viewer, their value to society in general, their monetary value? What exactly are you comparing?MakePeasNotWar wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When people have a baby they post a picture, get married post a picture, graduate post a picture would these pictures also fall under narcissism, I think any period in your life you are happy/proud and feeling accomplished you should be allowed to share without being labelledMireyGal76 wrote: »Didn't you know? If you are fit, you're supposed to be ashamed of that progress. You should not share it on Facebook, because that would be narcissistic. You should not post status updates of successes in the gym or progress made. That is braggery.
However... If you are volunteering at your child's school - THAT is FB worthy. Because that shows you are a good parent. Or if you make a delicious meal. You should post THOSE pics. Or, you can always feel free to post a meme about how you are NOT fit or beautiful, that you have curves and focus on your family. Those are acceptable.
But posting pictures that show you may have a nice physique? Despicable. Heaven forbid someone feels that you are telling them that you are a better at parenting er... cooking er... taking care of yourself. You may come across as having a better family life er... cooking skills er... body than them. And that's clearly wrong.
ETA: Oh and don't forget vacation photos... those are perfect photos to post. No one will ever think that you are posting those because you're richer than them, or have better opportunities. Everyone wants to see your posts of your world travels. But not your running route... or your new work out clothes. Fancy shoes? yes... Runners no.
Clear... right?
I might be misunderstanding, but are you honestly suggesting that having nice abs is on par with volunteer work or as relevant and interesting to your social network as a wedding and/or a new baby?
clearly, if I agree with your understanding of what I'm saying, I must be highly narcissistic... or at the very least, have a flawed sense of understanding about what my "social network" - aka family and friends - want to know about my life.
but therein is the problem.
I have friends that CONSTANTLY talk about struggling with their weight, and having no time, and not knowing what to do. And yet they're posting recipes for these crazy desserts, and food parties and the like.
If i even hint at the fact that I watch my food... or that I go to the gym... or how I manage my life so that I fit that stuff in... it gets reduced to me saying "look at my abs"
That is bullsh!t.
Nothing I said in the quote you placed said I had abs. I talked about progress made. I talked about the results of putting in time and effort. Training and dedication. You are the one who whittled it down to being about abs. Just like most everyone (non fitness minded) on FB does.
So, if I spend hours and hours crocheting a blanket. Is it safe to post a picture of the blanket? Am I bragging about the blanket? About my skill at chrochet? Am I assuming anyone gives a crap about what I did? I shouldn't assume that my crochet skills are interesting to anyone because they're not on par with volunteering or pushing out a baby?
I never once said you shouldn't post them. I never said they were bragging. I never said no one was interested in them.
I just disagreed that they were on par with volunteering or "pushing out a baby", which were the comparisons you and another poster made in the posts I responded to.
And how exactly do you figure I'm "non fitness minded"? I'm holding a kickboxing championship belt in my profile picture.
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MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When people have a baby they post a picture, get married post a picture, graduate post a picture would these pictures also fall under narcissism, I think any period in your life you are happy/proud and feeling accomplished you should be allowed to share without being labelledMireyGal76 wrote: »Didn't you know? If you are fit, you're supposed to be ashamed of that progress. You should not share it on Facebook, because that would be narcissistic. You should not post status updates of successes in the gym or progress made. That is braggery.
However... If you are volunteering at your child's school - THAT is FB worthy. Because that shows you are a good parent. Or if you make a delicious meal. You should post THOSE pics. Or, you can always feel free to post a meme about how you are NOT fit or beautiful, that you have curves and focus on your family. Those are acceptable.
But posting pictures that show you may have a nice physique? Despicable. Heaven forbid someone feels that you are telling them that you are a better at parenting er... cooking er... taking care of yourself. You may come across as having a better family life er... cooking skills er... body than them. And that's clearly wrong.
ETA: Oh and don't forget vacation photos... those are perfect photos to post. No one will ever think that you are posting those because you're richer than them, or have better opportunities. Everyone wants to see your posts of your world travels. But not your running route... or your new work out clothes. Fancy shoes? yes... Runners no.
Clear... right?
I might be misunderstanding, but are you honestly suggesting that having nice abs is on par with volunteer work or as relevant and interesting to your social network as a wedding and/or a new baby?
clearly, if I agree with your understanding of what I'm saying, I must be highly narcissistic... or at the very least, have a flawed sense of understanding about what my "social network" - aka family and friends - want to know about my life.
but therein is the problem.
I have friends that CONSTANTLY talk about struggling with their weight, and having no time, and not knowing what to do. And yet they're posting recipes for these crazy desserts, and food parties and the like.
If i even hint at the fact that I watch my food... or that I go to the gym... or how I manage my life so that I fit that stuff in... it gets reduced to me saying "look at my abs"
That is bullsh!t.
Nothing I said in the quote you placed said I had abs. I talked about progress made. I talked about the results of putting in time and effort. Training and dedication. You are the one who whittled it down to being about abs. Just like most everyone (non fitness minded) on FB does.
So, if I spend hours and hours crocheting a blanket. Is it safe to post a picture of the blanket? Am I bragging about the blanket? About my skill at chrochet? Am I assuming anyone gives a crap about what I did? I shouldn't assume that my crochet skills are interesting to anyone because they're not on par with volunteering or pushing out a baby?
I never once said you shouldn't post them. I never said they were bragging. I never said no one was interested in them.
I just disagreed that they were on par with volunteering or "pushing out a baby", which were the comparisons you and another poster made in the posts I responded to.
And how exactly do you figure I'm "non fitness minded"? I'm holding a kickboxing championship belt in my profile picture.
I didn't say YOU were not fitness minded.
I was referring to the people on facebook who take offense to fitnessy stuff. The "not fitness minded" was a clarification in reference to the segment of FB people that are not fitness minded. This was stated because more of my friends ARE fitness minded, and they DO like to see that stuff on FB.
The not fitness minded people on FB, don't want to see it. The fitness minded often do.
The problem is that FB is a blend of both, so you are forced to go with the lowest common denominator.
I actually agree with you there. I think the whole "fit shaming" thing is pretty ridiculous, and people read wayyy too much into fitness related photos or posts. If you want to get offended by me posting about my workout, do I get to be offended to hear about how you did on a test, because it means you think I'm stupid? TBH I spend almost no time on FB anymore, because I got tired of trying to determine who a particular post might upset and how badly.0
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