anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?
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Not my circus, not my monkeys....0
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I have a co-worker who just started doing the advocare challenge and is trying to sell every other woman in the office on it. So much bro science today. She told me that she's tried it twice before and gained the weight back each time.
My frustration comes from co-workers being unaware that I'm in recovery for an eating disorder. So constantly questioning my food choices, or giving me tons of food for the hell of it sucks. They don't know though, so totally not their fault.0 -
Yep. The best is the old gem "Why aren't you eating these doughnuts/cookies/cupcakes/whatever here for the whole office? You're so skinny!" It's hard sometimes not to say "Yes, I'm not fat because I don't eat this stuff every day when it appears in the break room."
I don't talk about this stuff with people IRL if I can help it, and if they ask I give a vague "Oh, you know, I watch my calories and try to stay active," because it's just not worth it.
THIS!!!!!!! People in the office notice I have lost weight... they compliment me... I just smile and say thank you. I don't explain how. 1) because they don't actually ask and 2) if they did, it would be too exhausting to explain something that should actually be so simple to explain... It should be so simple but a lot of people can't seem to grasp the whole CICO thing and the fact that you can actually eat the "bad foods" they are staying away from but don't seem to help them in their quest to lose weight. They all want a magic pill, not to have to actually take responsibility for their weight loss.
My family is the only one who gets it because they actually see me weigh my food and eat the "bad foods" and lose weight.0 -
kraft_kris wrote: »Not my circus, not my monkeys....
I just heard this saying for the first time a few weeks ago, but it has become my new favorite.
/sidebar
ETA: I'm sorry, really? Someone flagged me for this?-4 -
I've just started working in an office environment after working in retail for 12 years and I completely understand these conversations now! One office worker told me her stomach was bothering her and that she was going to eat lunch in the hopes that it would stop hurting. Her lunch was a personal pan pizza. The company I work for caters our lunch once a week. I don't deprive myself but I limit myself to one small serving of whatever I want. Then dinner is what my lunch would have been (fruit and a protein bar). So far I've been able to maintain in the 5 weeks I've been there.0
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It only frustrates me if that person is actually my friend and not just a work acquaintance.
I have a close friend that is so very depressed about the way she looks, wants to change things but just hasn't made it work for her yet. I feel sad for her, so I don't even talk about it unless she does first and even then I only listen.0 -
chelsy0587 wrote: »
I have a close friend that is so very depressed about the way she looks, wants to change things but just hasn't made it work for her yet. I feel sad for her, so I don't even talk about it unless she does first and even then I only listen.
ditto to that. and it breaks my heart
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DoreenaV1975 wrote: »
THIS!!!!!!! People in the office notice I have lost weight... they compliment me... I just smile and say thank you. I don't explain how. 1) because they don't actually ask and 2) if they did, it would be too exhausting to explain something that should actually be so simple to explain... It should be so simple but a lot of people can't seem to grasp the whole CICO thing and the fact that you can actually eat the "bad foods" they are staying away from but don't seem to help them in their quest to lose weight. They all want a magic pill, not to have to actually take responsibility for their weight loss.
My family is the only one who gets it because they actually see me weigh my food and eat the "bad foods" and lose weight.
YES. I have a friend who is always questioning me "So do you do low carb?" "No, I eat fewer calories than I burn in a day"... I've said this to her 10 different ways in the last month. It is that simple. Yes, I have certain things that help keep me on track when I'm feeling weak, and recipes I like and so on... but it's seriously, burn more than you eat. End of story.
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ercarroll311 wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »
THIS!!!!!!! People in the office notice I have lost weight... they compliment me... I just smile and say thank you. I don't explain how. 1) because they don't actually ask and 2) if they did, it would be too exhausting to explain something that should actually be so simple to explain... It should be so simple but a lot of people can't seem to grasp the whole CICO thing and the fact that you can actually eat the "bad foods" they are staying away from but don't seem to help them in their quest to lose weight. They all want a magic pill, not to have to actually take responsibility for their weight loss.
My family is the only one who gets it because they actually see me weigh my food and eat the "bad foods" and lose weight.
YES. I have a friend who is always questioning me "So do you do low carb?" "No, I eat fewer calories than I burn in a day"... I've said this to her 10 different ways in the last month. It is that simple. Yes, I have certain things that help keep me on track when I'm feeling weak, and recipes I like and so on... but it's seriously, burn more than you eat. End of story.
yup. people make it so much harder than it is0 -
My co-workers don't really offer alot of advice, but some have become my calorie police, as they know i've been losing weight. I follow an "anything in moderation" mindset, and eat anything as long as it fits in my calorie allotment for the day. Can't tell you the times I've had a cookie from the lunchroom, or picked out something other than a salad for my lunch, and have been told "oh no, you can't eat that". Umm, yes I can. I count it, and move on with my day.0
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I know a bunch of overweight people who 'eat nothing'. Except their nothing is high calorie stuff, and they drink alcohol.
I just smile and nod.0 -
Reading everyone's comments I feel kinda blessed lol.
Most of my coworkers are just self deprecating so I only have to worry about the appropriate response to them downing themselves.
They've learned that even though I bring my lunch, they can still invite me out to eat and don't make any weird comments except for the occasional "can you eat X" when they want to order everyone an appetizer. I just always say "yep!" But they're just being nice and checking. I guess if I said no, they'd order a "healthy" appetizer. How nice!
I think for the most part they've just assumed I work out a lot (I used to leave 30 minutes early for the gym regularly) and think that me bringing lunch (it's just sandwich stuff and an endless supply of greek yogurt and peanut butter) is the key to my success. If anyone asks, I keep it short and sweet and avoid say "calories" because calorie counting seems to upset people lol. I mentioned it once and the blank response was enough to never mention it again.
But if anyone actually asked for helped, I'd go into details. But if they don't ask for advice, I just smile and "hmm" when they say they're going low carb.0 -
whatatime2befit wrote: »My co-workers don't really offer alot of advice, but some have become my calorie police, as they know i've been losing weight. I follow an "anything in moderation" mindset, and eat anything as long as it fits in my calorie allotment for the day. Can't tell you the times I've had a cookie from the lunchroom, or picked out something other than a salad for my lunch, and have been told "oh no, you can't eat that". Umm, yes I can. I count it, and move on with my day.
my husband used to try that with me. till he figured out i didnt need (or want) his 'help' LOLOL0 -
I have a coworker who is constantly on a diet but never seems to lose weight. In addition, whenever she's on the diet she eats this giant "healthy" breakfast that stinks to high heaven. I could stand the whining and inaction though, if it weren't for the nasty smells coming from the office next door. Gross.0
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ercarroll311 wrote: »I have a friend always trying to one-up me. My weight is her obsession. If I lost 5 pounds in two weeks, she lost 4 in 3 days. No exaggeration, that was our conversation today.
Another friend has a serious family issue with obesity, and has gained nearly 100 pounds since her wedding 13 months ago. She'll diet for a day and give up for a month. She's always calling me asking to go get Chinese, Mexican, pizza, and so on. I feel like she almost wants me to be in the position she is with weight. I just had to tell her today "No, I can't make twice baked potatoes, Mac and cheese, and burgers for the 4th... I'm trying to stick to my goals!!" Rrr...
My coworkers, thankfully, are great. I've had jobs in the past where they were the root of much of my temptation.
THIS.
With sabotage and cognitive dissonance (Like what your friend does) I feel it is literally an insincere, manipulative and just plain selfishness to project your insecurities on a friend who is more 'successful' than you. Rather than use the opportunity to see that friend as a peer and inspiration for motivation, you want to drag that person down to "your level" to make yourself feel better.
A relative of mine does just that. She was svelte and has always taken great pride in her looks. Also used to make fun of my size to make herself feel better, particularly whenever I have any achievements I celebrate with my family she will let out word vomit about my size.
She recently blew up in size due to personal circumstances and during that time I lost all my excess weight. Instead of being happy for me she would make these really sh!tty comments that made it ALL ABOUT HER like "You are slimmer than me than I ever was. Unbelieveable."
She would go on these yo-yo starvation diets which ended in massive pizza binges at home. She would do really low ball things like invite me out to have brunch or dinner, buy a pastry, take a bite off it and then KEEP ON PRESSURISING ME by inviting me to take bites and then mocking me if I decline to make me feel bad. If I take a bite, she will take a small nibble and palm the rest to me to eat.
She would order a main meal and maybe a side and then pick on the side and have one or two bites of her main, and leave the entire thing saying she's not hungry. I'm not in the habit of starving myself to "lose weight" because I exercise and try to eat well the right way, so I'm eating my food but feeling cheated because it really really dampens the entire experience as she's trying to sort of sabotage my weight loss, get me fat again and try to lose weight through her starvation. She's also projecting her insecurities on me while she's at it. She'd ask - what's your sweater size? Or what's your waist size? How much do you weigh now? Its almost like she gets me out just to check my 'progress' and then move to sabotage it to make herself feel better rather than genuinely wanting my company.
I also hate the fact she wastes so much food for nothing and always lures me out on the pretext of catching up over a meal. I mean if you're on a diet no problem we can do healthy things together!! But nope, she has to feel better about herself palming food off to me to eat after taking a bite, not touching her food and then binging away at home. I decided from the last meeting after giving her the benefit of a doubt that I'll not be eating out with her anymore.
I really dislike these kinds of people because they not only work on negativity which spreads like poison (made me feel so crappy about myself and the rest of the day) they are also toxic people who feed off you.
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When people whining about their weight and why the scales isn't moving/muscles aren't growing while scarfing down 5000 cal of foot-long triple meatball with the works washed down with sugary coke (or diet, to make them feel better about being healthy) and a cookie plus multiple office snacks and fried foods - that's really a battle every single one of us face at the beginning in being a foot-in-and-a-foot out of health, diet and fitness.
Basically its a desire to slim down and be fit, but being inundated with cheap junk and garbage processed (even the "healthy" ones) food everywhere you go in America which are ridiculously and unneccessarily calorific it takes time and a trigger that makes them realise it's time to shove aside those excuses and just do it. I saw how many calories a small 3 inch honey cake in the supermarket was (600 cal) I almost felt my knees give way.
Somehow restauranteurs even find a way to butcher traditionally healthy cuisines like Chinese food. Sweet and sour pork monstrosities drowned in sickly sweet honey and more sugar and batter - 2000 cal when I make my own Asian food at home that barely hits the 150-200 per hearty serve, to be eaten with rice.
Because of that I find it kinda hard to judge them...maybe sometimes feel a little annoyed or empathise but really, its a tough battle that starts from the mind. They just need time to break away from it.
They really have no mean intentions behind their lamentations.0 -
I changed my diet cold turkey and started bringing in my breakfast and lunch every day (cut out the constant purchase of takeaway). My coworkers (trio team) were baffled and kept asking if I was reaaaaaally eating my "lunch" or would go get a schnitzel with them.
Not too annoying but the worst was one morning...
As my job involved early starts in the field, we often stop at McDonalds for breakfast. I was only a few weeks into my new lifestyle when we stopped in. I knew I had porridge waiting for me at the office so didn't have anything. Then a coworker waved their fresh, hot hashbrown under my nose going "are you suuuuuuuuuuure you don't want this?"
Oh the self control I had that day to not lose it
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »I have a friend who constantly wonders why she only gains weight even though she works out all of the time. However, whenever I see her she eats HUGE meals multiple times per day. I'm talking 1500-2000+ calories before getting into soda consumption. She is far past the unhealthy barrier of large, but anyone even mentioning anything about her weight completely crushes her. I've tried to talk about it before, but it's come to fighting/tears, so I'm hands off now.
I worry about her health, but she refuses to even be honest enough with herself to have an open conversation, so there's nothing that anyone other than her can do.
It is definitely frustrating.
I have the same situation with my best friend. She just turned 40, and in front of my eyes, ballooned up 100 lbs at least. In the past, I tried to get her to go to the gym with me. I even got her go the the beach for an exercise session just the two of us. We used to go for 1-1 1/2 hr walks. Now, she gets a pain in her hip and gets tired after 20 minutes. Unfortunately her husband is the same. I am worried about her health too, but she gets sensitive about it, so now I don't say a word any more. Actually, I am avoiding even talking about my workouts or eating habits. But it is hanging over us like the elephant in the room.
By the way, what's up with the fact that every overweight person drinks diet sodas in public? So where did they gain the weight, I wonder.
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