anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?
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I know a bunch of overweight people who 'eat nothing'. Except their nothing is high calorie stuff, and they drink alcohol.
I just smile and nod.0 -
Reading everyone's comments I feel kinda blessed lol.
Most of my coworkers are just self deprecating so I only have to worry about the appropriate response to them downing themselves.
They've learned that even though I bring my lunch, they can still invite me out to eat and don't make any weird comments except for the occasional "can you eat X" when they want to order everyone an appetizer. I just always say "yep!" But they're just being nice and checking. I guess if I said no, they'd order a "healthy" appetizer. How nice!
I think for the most part they've just assumed I work out a lot (I used to leave 30 minutes early for the gym regularly) and think that me bringing lunch (it's just sandwich stuff and an endless supply of greek yogurt and peanut butter) is the key to my success. If anyone asks, I keep it short and sweet and avoid say "calories" because calorie counting seems to upset people lol. I mentioned it once and the blank response was enough to never mention it again.
But if anyone actually asked for helped, I'd go into details. But if they don't ask for advice, I just smile and "hmm" when they say they're going low carb.0 -
whatatime2befit wrote: »My co-workers don't really offer alot of advice, but some have become my calorie police, as they know i've been losing weight. I follow an "anything in moderation" mindset, and eat anything as long as it fits in my calorie allotment for the day. Can't tell you the times I've had a cookie from the lunchroom, or picked out something other than a salad for my lunch, and have been told "oh no, you can't eat that". Umm, yes I can. I count it, and move on with my day.
my husband used to try that with me. till he figured out i didnt need (or want) his 'help' LOLOL0 -
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I have a coworker who is constantly on a diet but never seems to lose weight. In addition, whenever she's on the diet she eats this giant "healthy" breakfast that stinks to high heaven. I could stand the whining and inaction though, if it weren't for the nasty smells coming from the office next door. Gross.0
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ercarroll311 wrote: »I have a friend always trying to one-up me. My weight is her obsession. If I lost 5 pounds in two weeks, she lost 4 in 3 days. No exaggeration, that was our conversation today.
Another friend has a serious family issue with obesity, and has gained nearly 100 pounds since her wedding 13 months ago. She'll diet for a day and give up for a month. She's always calling me asking to go get Chinese, Mexican, pizza, and so on. I feel like she almost wants me to be in the position she is with weight. I just had to tell her today "No, I can't make twice baked potatoes, Mac and cheese, and burgers for the 4th... I'm trying to stick to my goals!!" Rrr...
My coworkers, thankfully, are great. I've had jobs in the past where they were the root of much of my temptation.
THIS.
With sabotage and cognitive dissonance (Like what your friend does) I feel it is literally an insincere, manipulative and just plain selfishness to project your insecurities on a friend who is more 'successful' than you. Rather than use the opportunity to see that friend as a peer and inspiration for motivation, you want to drag that person down to "your level" to make yourself feel better.
A relative of mine does just that. She was svelte and has always taken great pride in her looks. Also used to make fun of my size to make herself feel better, particularly whenever I have any achievements I celebrate with my family she will let out word vomit about my size.
She recently blew up in size due to personal circumstances and during that time I lost all my excess weight. Instead of being happy for me she would make these really sh!tty comments that made it ALL ABOUT HER like "You are slimmer than me than I ever was. Unbelieveable."
She would go on these yo-yo starvation diets which ended in massive pizza binges at home. She would do really low ball things like invite me out to have brunch or dinner, buy a pastry, take a bite off it and then KEEP ON PRESSURISING ME by inviting me to take bites and then mocking me if I decline to make me feel bad. If I take a bite, she will take a small nibble and palm the rest to me to eat.
She would order a main meal and maybe a side and then pick on the side and have one or two bites of her main, and leave the entire thing saying she's not hungry. I'm not in the habit of starving myself to "lose weight" because I exercise and try to eat well the right way, so I'm eating my food but feeling cheated because it really really dampens the entire experience as she's trying to sort of sabotage my weight loss, get me fat again and try to lose weight through her starvation. She's also projecting her insecurities on me while she's at it. She'd ask - what's your sweater size? Or what's your waist size? How much do you weigh now? Its almost like she gets me out just to check my 'progress' and then move to sabotage it to make herself feel better rather than genuinely wanting my company.
I also hate the fact she wastes so much food for nothing and always lures me out on the pretext of catching up over a meal. I mean if you're on a diet no problem we can do healthy things together!! But nope, she has to feel better about herself palming food off to me to eat after taking a bite, not touching her food and then binging away at home. I decided from the last meeting after giving her the benefit of a doubt that I'll not be eating out with her anymore.
I really dislike these kinds of people because they not only work on negativity which spreads like poison (made me feel so crappy about myself and the rest of the day) they are also toxic people who feed off you.
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When people whining about their weight and why the scales isn't moving/muscles aren't growing while scarfing down 5000 cal of foot-long triple meatball with the works washed down with sugary coke (or diet, to make them feel better about being healthy) and a cookie plus multiple office snacks and fried foods - that's really a battle every single one of us face at the beginning in being a foot-in-and-a-foot out of health, diet and fitness.
Basically its a desire to slim down and be fit, but being inundated with cheap junk and garbage processed (even the "healthy" ones) food everywhere you go in America which are ridiculously and unneccessarily calorific it takes time and a trigger that makes them realise it's time to shove aside those excuses and just do it. I saw how many calories a small 3 inch honey cake in the supermarket was (600 cal) I almost felt my knees give way.
Somehow restauranteurs even find a way to butcher traditionally healthy cuisines like Chinese food. Sweet and sour pork monstrosities drowned in sickly sweet honey and more sugar and batter - 2000 cal when I make my own Asian food at home that barely hits the 150-200 per hearty serve, to be eaten with rice.
Because of that I find it kinda hard to judge them...maybe sometimes feel a little annoyed or empathise but really, its a tough battle that starts from the mind. They just need time to break away from it.
They really have no mean intentions behind their lamentations.0 -
I changed my diet cold turkey and started bringing in my breakfast and lunch every day (cut out the constant purchase of takeaway). My coworkers (trio team) were baffled and kept asking if I was reaaaaaally eating my "lunch" or would go get a schnitzel with them.
Not too annoying but the worst was one morning...
As my job involved early starts in the field, we often stop at McDonalds for breakfast. I was only a few weeks into my new lifestyle when we stopped in. I knew I had porridge waiting for me at the office so didn't have anything. Then a coworker waved their fresh, hot hashbrown under my nose going "are you suuuuuuuuuuure you don't want this?"
Oh the self control I had that day to not lose it
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »I have a friend who constantly wonders why she only gains weight even though she works out all of the time. However, whenever I see her she eats HUGE meals multiple times per day. I'm talking 1500-2000+ calories before getting into soda consumption. She is far past the unhealthy barrier of large, but anyone even mentioning anything about her weight completely crushes her. I've tried to talk about it before, but it's come to fighting/tears, so I'm hands off now.
I worry about her health, but she refuses to even be honest enough with herself to have an open conversation, so there's nothing that anyone other than her can do.
It is definitely frustrating.
I have the same situation with my best friend. She just turned 40, and in front of my eyes, ballooned up 100 lbs at least. In the past, I tried to get her to go to the gym with me. I even got her go the the beach for an exercise session just the two of us. We used to go for 1-1 1/2 hr walks. Now, she gets a pain in her hip and gets tired after 20 minutes. Unfortunately her husband is the same. I am worried about her health too, but she gets sensitive about it, so now I don't say a word any more. Actually, I am avoiding even talking about my workouts or eating habits. But it is hanging over us like the elephant in the room.
By the way, what's up with the fact that every overweight person drinks diet sodas in public? So where did they gain the weight, I wonder.
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It's hard for me to. When people notice I have lost weight and ask me how I do it. I tell them I watched what I ate though mfp and exercise. Then they say that just doesn't work for me I have tried it so many time. I just smile and said okay sometimes. It's not worth the fight.0
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I hate when people see me eating something like a burger and ask if I should be eating that...my very own food police.0
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whatatime2befit wrote: »My co-workers don't really offer alot of advice, but some have become my calorie police, as they know i've been losing weight. I follow an "anything in moderation" mindset, and eat anything as long as it fits in my calorie allotment for the day. Can't tell you the times I've had a cookie from the lunchroom, or picked out something other than a salad for my lunch, and have been told "oh no, you can't eat that". Umm, yes I can. I count it, and move on with my day.
Do we work at the same place?Ugh it's annoying.
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My coworkers, who would do anything to lose weight except count calories and exercise, would always say "You're thin! You don't have to worry about what you eat!" My answer would always be "I do if I want to stay this way."Yep. The best is the old gem "Why aren't you eating these doughnuts/cookies/cupcakes/whatever here for the whole office? You're so skinny!" It's hard sometimes not to say "Yes, I'm not fat because I don't eat this stuff every day when it appears in the break room."
They would take diet advice from the 250 pound woman ("She's lost weight lots of times!") instead of the normal weight woman. You'd think they'd want to know how to do it from someone who hasn't yo-yo'd her entire life.
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I'm fortunate I have open-minded staff. They are well aware I eat nutritionally-dense food and they try to do the same. They do however, bring donuts, giant cinnamon rolls, huge muffins, etc from time to time. I cut these in small portions and serve them. No sarcastic or snarky remarks from anyone (that I heard at least). Recently, I started reimbursing folks who bring fresh fruits and veggies. They love that! Have a great one!
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A woman with whom I went to high school--now a facebook friend. She's a fitness trainer and lately she's been going on about juice cleanses and going to a "natural path" (sic) doctor. Yesterday she announced that she isn't going to have her brand new kitten vaccinated because "it just poisons their immune systems". So much no.0
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My co-workers are great - we work for a national non-profit that aims for good health, so we have a 'healthy meals' policy and the majority of stuff that's brought in or that's at our meetings is pretty healthy.
I do get frustrated with a FB group of local friends for WL - not because we try to tempt each other, but the ideas about food and fitness are SO crazy. I'm all for eating healthy but eating 'clean' is not a magic key to losing weight. There are a lot of myths put out on the group and I find myself biting my tongue a lot. Funny thing is, the ones who are the most successful right now are those of us on MFP who are calorie counting and who don't cut out treats or food groups. It's very frustrating to see misinformation being presented, but speaking up to try to clear up those misconceptions would just cause problems, so I don't. I'll just keep doing CICO and posting my losses.0 -
ceoverturf wrote: »Meh...it doesn't frustrate me any more. I just smile and nod and carry on.
If someone asks me for frank, honest advice I'll give it to 'em. But that's pretty rare.
Yes, this is me as well.
My family doesn't understand my need to be at the gym, stating "but you're already in shape, why do you keep going still?"...ummmm, that's WHY I am in shape! I just change the subject because it isn't worth the frustration.
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In my office I am openly called the "healthy eater" in a kind of snarky way. O WELL.0
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At my last job, everyone would cycle through the latest fad diet craze that one person would start. One month it would be low carb, the next juicing, the next HCG. I got to a point when I would just shake me head and go on with my nutrition and lifting plan which apparently was too much trouble for anyone to get on board with. Thankfully at my new job in manufacturing I work with mostly older men who could give two sh*ts and I haven't heard the words "juice cleanse" "detox" "toxins" or "diet" since I started. It's amazing.0
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I've found this kind of challenging too. Some of my coworkers and I recently put together a salad bar at work, with everyone bringing in different foods. A few of them are extremely obese, weighing much more than I do. Sometimes they give me crap about not eating chips with my salad like they do, or eating an apple instead of cookies. It's difficult but watching these really obese people eat Cheetos and drink Pepsi and bring in fried chicken to eat with their salad motivates me to stick to my healthy fruit and veg. Some days, though, boy is it tough.0
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I have a friend who I love dearly that this thread reminds me of. I wouldn't call her fat, but she carries some extra pounds and I know she's unhappy with her weight. Unfortunately, her family believes every new "health" fad that comes down the pike: toxins, gluten-free, low-carb... What have you.
When I successfully lost 30lbs after having my daughter, I did attract some attention, and she and I have had a few conversations about health and exercise. And she is convinced that her metabolism is no good and she "can't" lose weight. I mentioned calorie counting, but she can't believe that the same basic equations work for everyone. Also, like many people, she struggles to understand that when I say, "Only calories matter for weight loss," I am NOT saying, "It doesn't matter what you eat," or "skinny=healthy." Sigh...0 -
I'm the same, I've just started working in a very small, male-dominated company, with just a handful of women. The lack of sh*ts given about what I eat is refreshing, other than the guys who walk into the break room and say 'ooh, another interesting lunch', and they chow their burgers and talk about sport! The downside of working in this lovely company is that it's literally 50 paces from a McDonald's, and the men routinely come through with their McD's breakfasts and meals. I don't say anything, cos no one interferes here, but god it's a killer when I see those burgers!!bostongrl13 wrote: »At my last job, everyone would cycle through the latest fad diet craze that one person would start. One month it would be low carb, the next juicing, the next HCG. I got to a point when I would just shake me head and go on with my nutrition and lifting plan which apparently was too much trouble for anyone to get on board with. Thankfully at my new job in manufacturing I work with mostly older men who could give two sh*ts and I haven't heard the words "juice cleanse" "detox" "toxins" or "diet" since I started. It's amazing.
Thank god for having my own office - I can shut the door and eliminate the temptation that way! But it is refreshing not having an entire (female) office that do that competitive/toxic weight comparing thing.
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ceoverturf wrote: »Meh...it doesn't frustrate me any more. I just smile and nod and carry on.
If someone asks me for frank, honest advice I'll give it to 'em. But that's pretty rare.kraft_kris wrote: »Not my circus, not my monkeys....
^These. Luckily, my co-workers and most of my friends/family are reasonable and not intrusive people. Occasionally we'll talk briefly about improving our diet (not fads, just trying to eat more fruit/veggies) and exercise when our annual wellness program starts, but that's about it. I have a couple friends with some questionable ideas, but I just listen and don't comment unless asked. However, if someone commented about me not being able to eat something or such nonsense they would get sarcasm in response.0 -
I have one that makes me shake my head. She is a 300+ pound woman that sits across from me. Yesterday she was giving one of her team members disgusted looks and asking her how she could drink that crap, referring to her green smoothie. Then she talks about eating an entire pizza for dinner, and complains about not being able to lose weight while shoving her face full of popcorn.0
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lucyholdcroft363 wrote: »Bro-science everywhere! One of my friends moans to me every day that he isn't losing weight even though he 'barely eats' and I've seen the man eat two large chip shop servings with salt and vinegar! So I try to explain to him and he just says 'no. My metabolism is just crap. I barely eat anything and I work out loads.' I know for some folks its difficult to admit that actually, its not the metabolism, its you, but sometimes I wanna pull out my own hair! And another friend of mine busts her *kitten* lifting weights every day saying she's gonna get super muscular and huge arms etc...but eats practically nothing! Its crazy how uneducated we all were at one point and now we are all super diet gurus...lol.
I only get frustrated when they complain, but aren't actually going to DO anything about it. One says she hardly eats anything...yes, she skips meals, but when she does eat, it is definitely way more than a normal serving, from what I've seen. And refuses to ever get up from her desk. Yes, we are in desk jobs, but I refuse to be chained down for 8+ hours a day. The world will indeed keep spinning if you get out of your chair and take a few minutes for yourself.0 -
I wouldn't worry about other people. its not your place. let it go0
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their ignorance or denial isn't your problem0
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They're not looking to you for help. They're just sharing their their situation.
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