anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?
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I don't care what other people are doing, beyond generally wishing them success in their efforts. I figured out what works for me. If other people want it, they will make the changes they need to make.0
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Ugh, my co-workers sounds just like everyone else's. "I need to lose weight but it's not just possible! Enter excuse of broken metabolism, hungry all the time, starving yourself makes you gain weight, pop is fine if it's diet, etc.... Most of the people on my team have a gym membership now (not that they use it). Tried to go with a few of them and they're the ones that go on the treadmill and talk the whole time. Urgh! Super frustrating and hard to find a good gym/diet buddy! And don't get me started on my mother in law...0
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AlisonH729 wrote: »kraft_kris wrote: »Not my circus, not my monkeys....
I just heard this saying for the first time a few weeks ago, but it has become my new favorite.
/sidebar
ETA: I'm sorry, really? Someone flagged me for this?
Seriously? This was flagged???? Why?
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They're not looking to you for help. They're just sharing their their situation.
True. Mr_Knight is absolutely correct. It they say the words "help me," send them directly to MFP.0 -
KisforKrista wrote: »I have one co-worker who drives me crazy.
Yesterday a co worker was asking me questions about my methods in losing my first 20 pounds, in the midst of telling her, this other co worker buts right in and basically dogs my methods by saying weight watchers was better.
things like "If i had to count calories id go crazy" -- to which i replied, weight watchers is the same idea, they just use points. Then she said "well when i was on weight watchers i didn't have to remove things from my diet, i just had to make better choices" and i replied "i am not removing anything either, i am also making better choices" and it kept going on like that but in the end she actually convinced my co worker that my way was flawed and unhelpful and that weight watchers was actually the more superior program. "I lost 12 inches even tho the scale didn't move much cause i was gaining a lot of muscle while at the gym doing intense cardio" -- i tried to explain to her why gaining muscle while in a deficit is almost impossible and she just shrugged me off saying she didn't believe that was true and of course the co worker i was originally talking to was now more interested in her information and taking in everything she was saying about working out and healthy eating and why weight watchers was better.
Mind you this is the same co worker who also told people that drinking diet soda was making her skin on her arms hurt when she touched them and when she stopped drinking it, her arms became instantly better. So now when she sees someone drinking a diet soda that is her go to story to try and convince them that diet soda is bad for you.
Some other frustrating instances lately are from people cutting me off or not listening to what i am saying.
When i wasn't losing weight and PMS would hit, i could easily tell people that i felt gross and bloated and like a beached whale and they would agree saying "yeah that is the worst" or something to the fact.
Now when i groan about feeling this way people look at me and say "No you don't, you look good"
Finally i had to say to the last person who said that to me "I wish people would stop telling me no" and she looked at me kind of puzzled and i said "I FEEL this way, i am not saying i LOOK like a beached whale"
I feel like lately my weight loss is become who i am now instead of a person with different moods and feelings.
I am expected to be happier, healthier and feel fine on a constant basis now, anything outside of that is apparently just my imagination.
At first it was easy just to not say anything to people about my wanting to lose weight, but now its 100% apparent that i have lost and am losing so there is no way to avoid getting mountains of advice to things i don't need advice for. It seems weird to me that people use that as a way of giving support. If someone is having success, i don't know why people think they need to tell them how to lose weight and even when you correct their bad advice with sound realistic advice, they dismiss it because that wouldn't work for them, their way is the only way that works and it seems like everyone else around them agrees with them.
/rant
Holy wow that was long but a well needed vent lol
I laughed at this. I was so bloated two days ago (got TOM today) that I actually looked 5 months pregnant. Awful. I DID look like a whale!The posts here about kids reminds me of the times recently that I've had dinner with my husband's daughter and family. The grandkids are 6 and 12, and they just naturally eat until they're not hungry and then they stop. They even leave chocolate cake and ice cream on their plates and leave the table to go play. It's really a reminder to me to listen to my body and not eat just because it is there or tastes good.
I know. My son says no to dessert regularly. I don't get it. I never said no to dessert as a kid. It makes me wonder though, WHAT happened to make things different for me? That's what I'd really like to know. Is it genes? (he's adopted, so he wouldn't get that from me anyway). Is it that some kids naturally like food more? It's really hard to think that genes have nothing to do with it.. the difference must come from somewhere. Could it be from how they were fed as babies with parents not paying attention to their kids fullness signals and overfeeding them? There must be SOMETHING that causes some of us to eat more.0 -
aussie_girl_del wrote: »AlisonH729 wrote: »kraft_kris wrote: »Not my circus, not my monkeys....
I just heard this saying for the first time a few weeks ago, but it has become my new favorite.
/sidebar
ETA: I'm sorry, really? Someone flagged me for this?
I have no idea why you would be flagged for this.
I think maybe they wanted to "like" and thought the flag serves the same purpose. I wish it were allowed to do "like." You don't always want to put in your two cents but want to acknowledge a write-up by a person.0 -
aussie_girl_del wrote: »AlisonH729 wrote: »kraft_kris wrote: »Not my circus, not my monkeys....
I just heard this saying for the first time a few weeks ago, but it has become my new favorite.
/sidebar
ETA: I'm sorry, really? Someone flagged me for this?
I have no idea why you would be flagged for this.
I think maybe they wanted to "like" and thought the flag serves the same purpose. I wish it were allowed to do "like." You don't always want to put in your two cents but want to acknowledge a write-up by a person.
agreed. a 'like' or 'thanks' button would be awesome.0 -
bump0
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Some people in my office will tell me off for eating sandwiches, or red meat, or crisps for lunch, because they're apparently fattening/bad for your heart/will make you feel sluggish. I just smile and carry on enjoying my lunch. I don't think they mean badly, they're just sharing their thoughts during a social part of the work day. It probably would bother me more if I was just starting to try and lose weight, possibly, but I'm comfortable with how I eat and pretty set in my ways now, so it's water off a duck's back.
My office is pretty food obsessed in general though, so it's not weird for us to talk about each other's lunches.KisforKrista wrote: »
Mind you this is the same co worker who also told people that drinking diet soda was making her skin on her arms hurt when she touched them and when she stopped drinking it, her arms became instantly better. So now when she sees someone drinking a diet soda that is her go to story to try and convince them that diet soda is bad for you.
About 30% of people who walk into a neurology office have psychogenic illness.
Based on your description (hypersensitivity at the bilateral arms with normal sensation distally that is only aggravated in very specific instances) the issue sounds like it was certainly psychogenic. And psychogenic issues go away when the patient decides they are better.
So it is completely reasonable to expect her to get better when she stopped using the thing that she THOUGHT was causing the problem, confirming psychogenesis.
TL;DR: she's cray-cray.0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »
People tell me all the time I'm "too skinny". Um no I'm not, 5'4.5 and 139 is NOT too skinny. I can safely lose another 10-15. I just have a thin face/bony shoulders now. Most of the people who tell me that are either struggling with their weight themselves OR competitive/jealous of my loss (like my best friend). It's usually indicative of their issues not mine.well i think when they say things about us its really a COMPLAINT OR DIG about themselves.
This is what I have to deal with! I am at this height right now, but just a bit smaller. I work with a lot of people who are bigger than me. They are always making snarky comments about me getting up for 10 min walks throughout the day and my food that I bring. Sometimes some of the comments are quite offensive. I just smile and continue to do my own thing.
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »The trend in my office at the moment is for all the people with "slow metabolisms" to get a gastric bypass done.
I don't want to be one of them.
LOL. And how do they think the gastric bypass fixes their metabolisms????
And the habits that got them that way. I have a couple friends who've had WLS and they went through 6 months of supervised diet and exercise prior t the surgery to relearn how to eat and to develop exercise habits.
I have a coworker who is getting ready for WLS. From what I can see, she hasn't been given any guidance like that. She said she's "tried everything" to lose weight. In the 4 years I've know her, I've seen a diabetic on insulin that eats sweets (pretty much every day), someone who never engages in physical activity, and someone who eats a lot of meals out (high-fat, low nutrient food).
I worry she's putting her body through this surgery and she'll end up gaining most of any loss back. But all I feel I can do is smile and be supportive.0 -
A woman with whom I went to high school--now a facebook friend. She's a fitness trainer and lately she's been going on about juice cleanses and going to a "natural path" (sic) doctor. Yesterday she announced that she isn't going to have her brand new kitten vaccinated because "it just poisons their immune systems". So much no.
That's really on the other extreme of the fizzy drink and doughnut guzzlers types at the office who sneer at you when you're minding your own business trying to be healthy and not judging them.
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In my office I am openly called the "healthy eater" in a kind of snarky way. O WELL.
Hey you could so turn that into like an office brand. Maybe make up some witty quip when you're heading off for lunch - "Cya guys I'm going to nibble on my pro-power chia soy linseed skin graft." Sometimes people just get defensive because they think your new changes is sort of an indictment against theirs...so they sort of psychologically 'preempt' this insecurity to keep you from judging them...if you turn it into a self-depreciating humour they'll realise that you're doing it for you and have nothing against them - doesn't change your relationship with them!
I don't know why I used skin graft. It sounded right then.
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Nope, I just ignore them. I don't give two craps what my co-workers or friends are doing or what they think they know about losing weight. I know what works for me, and I'm focusing on that.0
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I work with a girl who is quite badly overweight, she's made some steps towards getting healthier, she joined a gym we were talking about dieting and stuff the other day and i asked her how she was going and she said "Oh your lucky you lose weight I'm doing alright, but it can be kind of depressing though like i go the gym 5 times a week and work out so hard and i go for an hour walk every night but i just can't seem to lose weight!"
....then i saw what she had for lunch, a XL serve of fish and chips 2 fried dim sims, 2 chocolate bars and all washed down with a 600ml bottle of coke...
I saw it and thought "well, there's your problem..." she's just stuck in that mindset that "I exercise, therefore, I have a free pass to eat whatever I want"
AWW, that's ok, at least she's trying.
Maybe you can sort of give her a hint in the future since she's working so hard, like bring an extra pack of lunch and ask her if she wants to share. Sort of introduce her to healthy eating.
I watched this show about exercise which said that people are actually exercising MORE than previously rather than less, but still getting obese, because people are being told exercise solves the problem. People slip into the tendency of thinking that because they did 300 cal of exercise that extra slice of cake or fizzy drink, or even "healthy" meal is a "reward" for their hard work.
Then they subconsciously just ingest more calories and undo all that hard work.
It's a tough gig, but we all learn along the way.0 -
lindathom209 wrote: »I don't get frustrated. Mainly because I've been in their shoes. Tried all the fad diets and ordered all the workouts from infomercials looking for FAST weight loss. I was the one saying "two pounds a week?! Are you kidding me? That's gonna take me, like, forever!" I work for a staffing agency so when I work somewhere I haven't been in a while I hear a lot of "wow you lost a lot of weight! How the h*** did you do that?" When I say I just eat less than I burn they give me the saddest look. Lol. I just give them a sympathetic smile and say "yeah, it sucks, but it's really the only thing that actually works"
Very good point @lindathom209, we live in a society of fast-paced instant self-gratification! We want everything NOW, FAST, EASY, NO-FUSS - and sadly it's spread to our approach in fitness too.
How many times have we stopped over for convenience food/quick fix foods/junk despite knowing that:
1. Its fattening, because manufacturers don't care about your health, they care about whether it tastes "good" and "hooks" you
2. It has questionable quality - we know we can make a superior quality dish at home, triple the quantity, at a fraction of the price, at a fraction of the calories with no added preservatives and chemical junk. We just either are time-poor (we use this as an excuse but there's nothing good planning can't fix as losing weight and controlling your diet tells us) or lazy.
3. It's filled with chemicals, words and numbers we can't pronounce. Some simple cakes in packets have an ingredient list longer than the Bible!
4. It's not good for us.
I could go on. But think of for example, when people would rather go for liposuction, stomach stapling, etc - all to 'quick fix' the 'problem' which never really gets resolved. This extends to us using quick fixes for everything else in our lives, even to our economies, our Governments, our environment, etc.
The saddest thing is to see super obese people who are so trapped in their cycle of poor eating and negative mentality even after stomach banding they liquify their junk food to get their 'cravings' filled even though they physically can't eat an apple.0 -
Not only my co-workers, but my mum and my husband also harp on at me about how much I eat per day (5 meals - but they are around 300 cals each, so 1500 ish per day). they're all like "how are you going to lose weight if you eat all day long?"
Well... it's working and now I'm getting the co-workers going "OMG your clothes are baggy. You're going to disappear - stop dieting!" (which is totally off the mark too because I am still not at a decent optimum weight (profile pic misleading - my arms and top bit are fine but if you pan down there is still a whole lot of baby-belly spilling over the jeans!)
And I have a bunch of 5:2 people who keep trying to get me to go 5:2. No thank you.
My mum's biggest concern is me getting too muscular. But I'm still a fat cow in her eyes so it will be a while before I go from fat cow to muscular horse?0 -
sometimes it's futile to try and explain to them that all you have to do is watch/weigh what you eat & get active some. it's like they want to keep believing in some magical cure, lol.
and some people boast to me about not eating breakfast/lunch, and eating just dinner but somehow not losing weight as if it matters when you eat your calories. cus if ya overeat, you're gonna gain weight cus calories can't tell time in the day haha. orrr like how my dad is always boasting about not having an appetite and losing weight to me (yet drinks a ton of beer, no real nutrition) and when i try to explain that he needs to eat more actual food to get proper nutrition and that weight loss through other means can be very unhealthy, he just blows it off. his doctor even congratulates him (or so he tells me) on his weight loss. and i try to tell him it's something he should be discussing with a doctor if it's unintentional! alas.
but other times i simply tell people, our bodies are like a glass. and imagine the calories you need like a set amount of liquid you pour into your glass each day. you pour too much, it overflows aka weight gain. you put too little, you empty out or make more room. and if you put just the right amount, you stay just the same.
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squishprincess wrote: »sometimes it's futile to try and explain to them that all you have to do is watch/weigh what you eat & get active some. it's like they want to keep believing in some magical cure, lol.
but other times i simply tell people, our bodies are like a glass. and imagine the calories you need like a set amount of liquid you pour into your glass each day. you pour too much, it overflows aka weight gain. you put too little, you empty out or make more room. and if you put just the right amount, you stay just the same.
Bump for the awesome glass analogy!0 -
A co-worker turned to me today and said "I just learnt the most amazing thing today" obviously i said "oh what?!"
her response....... "If you switch to a gluten free diet you can lose a TONNE of weight! I'm going to try it for sure!!"
I tried to tell her that unless you actually have an intolerance condition switching to a gluten free diet is not going to change anything I said the whole you can eat whatever you want as long as you burn more calories than you take in but *whoosh* straight over her head because as she said "My neighbour stopped eating gluten and she lost like 10kgs in a month! Do they make gluten free wholemeal bread? because im going to buy some of that...and is there gluten free chocolate? Because I want to buy some of that as well!"
I just kind of noded and went back to doing my work...I could see that she was set on her super awesome new miracle diet and whatever i said wasn't going to change her mind...0
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