Husband sabotage
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maillemaker wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »PikaKnight wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »PikaKnight wrote: »maillemaker wrote: »I don't understand how a person bringing food they enjoy into their own homes shows a lack of support for their spouse.
If your spouse didn't like cats, and you went and got a pet cat, would you be showing a lack of consideration for your spouse's feelings on cats?
The issue here is it's not just one spouse's home. It belongs to both of them, and as such both have a say in what can be brought into the home. This is true whether we are talking about pets, cigarettes, shoes, or donuts.
That analogy doesn't work. At all. Not at all.
Why doesn't it? It all boils down to one spouse wants X in the house and the other does not.
Because a living, breathing thing that would require a huge financial and emotional commitment is the same as him bringing home donuts for him to eat once in awhile is completely comparable? What?
Oh you mean the specifics. Yes, the specifics are different. That one wants it and the other doesn't so someone has to give is the same.
Exactly. Obviously the specifics are different. But the situation is the same.
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »My husband still brings me donuts. Because I like donuts and he loves me. My "diet" is my business to manage - not his. It's not sabotage. It's realizing that the world doesn't actually revolve around me.
This. 100%
Your body. Your choices.0 -
PrizePopple wrote: »maillemaker wrote: »I don't understand how a person bringing food they enjoy into their own homes shows a lack of support for their spouse.
If your spouse didn't like cats, and you went and got a pet cat, would you be showing a lack of consideration for your spouse's feelings on cats?
The issue here is it's not just one spouse's home. It belongs to both of them, and as such both have a say in what can be brought into the home. This is true whether we are talking about pets, cigarettes, shoes, or donuts.
Living animal =/= Doughnuts
I did not claim that a living animal was the same as a donut.
I said bringing a cat home when your wife doesn't want cats in the house is no different than bringing a donut in the home if your wife doesn't want donuts in the house.
Or shoes. Or cigarettes. Or guns. Or whatever.
Both spouses get a say as to what can be brought in the house.0 -
CandyMonster160 wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »My husband still brings me donuts. Because I like donuts and he loves me. My "diet" is my business to manage - not his. It's not sabotage. It's realizing that the world doesn't actually revolve around me.
This. 100%
Your body. Your choices.
Quoting because it can't be said any less clearer.0 -
maillemaker wrote: »I don't understand how a person bringing food they enjoy into their own homes shows a lack of support for their spouse.
If your spouse didn't like cats, and you went and got a pet cat, would you be showing a lack of consideration for your spouse's feelings on cats?
The issue here is it's not just one spouse's home. It belongs to both of them, and as such both have a say in what can be brought into the home. This is true whether we are talking about pets, cigarettes, shoes, or donuts.
Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....0 -
Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....
If your hubby doesn't like something to where he doesn't want it in the house, then you two will have to figure out how to resolve that situation. Someone is going to be disappointed. It just depends how bad you want something and how willing you are to disappoint your spouse to have it.
What if you like guns but your husband doesn't want them in the house?
What if your husband likes to smoke pipes but you don't want them smoked in the house?
What if your husband likes to wear shoes in the house but you don't want people wearing shoes in the house?
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You are dense as hell and can't stay on the topic of food to save your life can you? If you could manage to actually stay in the realm of reason I would be shocked. I'd rather hold a conversation with my ex-husband because he's more rational.
I'm sorry you are unable to follow the conversation.0 -
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maillemaker wrote: »Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....
If your hubby doesn't like something to where he doesn't want it in the house, then you two will have to figure out how to resolve that situation. Someone is going to be disappointed. It just depends how bad you want something and how willing you are to disappoint your spouse to have it.
What if you like guns but your husband doesn't want them in the house? No problem with that.
What if your husband likes to smoke pipes but you don't want them smoked in the house? He doesn't.
What if your husband likes to wear shoes in the house but you don't want people wearing shoes in the house? No issues there. LOL
We compromise, something a lot people don't understand. 0 -
maillemaker wrote: »Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....
If your hubby doesn't like something to where he doesn't want it in the house, then you two will have to figure out how to resolve that situation. Someone is going to be disappointed. It just depends how bad you want something and how willing you are to disappoint your spouse to have it.
What if you like guns but your husband doesn't want them in the house?
What if your husband likes to smoke pipes but you don't want them smoked in the house?
What if your husband likes to wear shoes in the house but you don't want people wearing shoes in the house?
We compromise, something a lot people don't understand.
As is made obvious by the entirety of this thread.0 -
I can't be the only one that thinks of this, whenever they see the word sabotage.
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maillemaker wrote: »Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....
If your hubby doesn't like something to where he doesn't want it in the house, then you two will have to figure out how to resolve that situation. Someone is going to be disappointed. It just depends how bad you want something and how willing you are to disappoint your spouse to have it.
What if you like guns but your husband doesn't want them in the house?
What if your husband likes to smoke pipes but you don't want them smoked in the house?
What if your husband likes to wear shoes in the house but you don't want people wearing shoes in the house?
We compromise, something a lot people don't understand.
If my husband owned guns before we were married, then I'd accept that they'd be in the house. I'd have rules about them not being loaded, etc, but I wouldn't say he couldn't have them.
If my husband smoked before we were married, then I'd ask that he not do it in the house because I've been a non-smoker for a few years now. I lived with a smoker (and still do) when I quit. I didn't ask them not to smoke outside. I learned to deal with it and get through it, realizing that it was up to me to overcome my own issues.
If my husband liked to wear shoes in the house and I didn't, then that's something that I would have had to come to peace with, compromise/deal with long before we were married.
If my husband ate donuts before we were married and I decided to make a life change, I would not expect him to go hoarde food outside the house because of my own issues. it's his house too and he can have whatever food he wants in there.0 -
callmemaui wrote: »HELP!!!! I think my husband us trying to sabotage my weight loss endeavor. When I explain to him that I am really trying hard this time, avoiding bad foods and trying to work out he's all for it. But his actions speak the exact opposite of support. Like yesterday he brought home donuts after work. And when I turn on my Zumba workout in the living room he gets annoyed and interrupts me to ask me to do something for him, like help him carry something to the garage. It's really frustrating. I was really hoping he would join me so we could go through this together, but it looks like I'm on my own. BUT I refuse to give in. I'm going to keep doing it and hopefully he'll get the hint that I'm in it for the long run.
Its awesome you are working on yourself. But that's just it we are working on ourSELVES. I don't think he is intentionally trying to sabotage you. My husband is not losing weight with me and that's OK. its almost selfish to expect him too or expect him to change how he is for me. If the doughnuts and things are too much for your selfcontrol then talk to him about it. not in an accusatory way or anything but let him know your difficulties. Yes you may be on your own at home but so many people want to lose weight you can never say yourself. Now the zumba thing. let him know gently but firmly you will help him when your finished or better yet just say something like hey im going to be busy for ___ minutes do you need anything before I ____?0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I can't be the only one that thinks of this, whenever they see the word sabotage.
:laugh:0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »My husband still brings me donuts. Because I like donuts and he loves me. My "diet" is my business to manage - not his. It's not sabotage. It's realizing that the world doesn't actually revolve around me.
Exactly the way I look at it. Jeff brought me an icecream from the corner store. he saw them and thought of me. Was very sweet. I just altered the rest of my day a little so he and I could sit on the porch and enjoy our treat.0 -
PikaKnight wrote: »maillemaker wrote: »Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....
If your hubby doesn't like something to where he doesn't want it in the house, then you two will have to figure out how to resolve that situation. Someone is going to be disappointed. It just depends how bad you want something and how willing you are to disappoint your spouse to have it.
What if you like guns but your husband doesn't want them in the house?
What if your husband likes to smoke pipes but you don't want them smoked in the house?
What if your husband likes to wear shoes in the house but you don't want people wearing shoes in the house?
We compromise, something a lot people don't understand.
If my husband owned guns before we were married, then I'd accept that they'd be in the house. I'd have rules about them not being loaded, etc, but I wouldn't say he couldn't have them.
If my husband smoked before we were married, then I'd ask that he not do it in the house because I've been a non-smoker for a few years now. I lived with a smoker (and still do) when I quit. I didn't ask them not to smoke outside. I learned to deal with it and get through it, realizing that it was up to me to overcome my own issues.
If my husband liked to wear shoes in the house and I didn't, then that's something that I would have had to come to peace with, compromise/deal with long before we were married.
If my husband ate donuts before we were married and I decided to make a life change, I would not expect him to go hoarde food outside the house because of my own issues. it's his house too and he can have whatever food he wants in there.
Stop being unsupportive!0 -
For me, I would be upset if my spouse posted a thread on here airing all his grievances about me. What if OP talks to him tonight and he has some sort of epiphany and signs up for MFP only to stumble upon this? It's best to keep private matters private, imo.0
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PikaKnight wrote: »maillemaker wrote: »Your analogy stinks. So if my hubby doesn't like something, I can't have in our house or the other way round. HHhhhmmmmm....
If your hubby doesn't like something to where he doesn't want it in the house, then you two will have to figure out how to resolve that situation. Someone is going to be disappointed. It just depends how bad you want something and how willing you are to disappoint your spouse to have it.
What if you like guns but your husband doesn't want them in the house?
What if your husband likes to smoke pipes but you don't want them smoked in the house?
What if your husband likes to wear shoes in the house but you don't want people wearing shoes in the house?
We compromise, something a lot people don't understand.
If my husband owned guns before we were married, then I'd accept that they'd be in the house. I'd have rules about them not being loaded, etc, but I wouldn't say he couldn't have them.
If my husband smoked before we were married, then I'd ask that he not do it in the house because I've been a non-smoker for a few years now. I lived with a smoker (and still do) when I quit. I didn't ask them not to smoke outside. I learned to deal with it and get through it, realizing that it was up to me to overcome my own issues.
If my husband liked to wear shoes in the house and I didn't, then that's something that I would have had to come to peace with, compromise/deal with long before we were married.
If my husband ate donuts before we were married and I decided to make a life change, I would not expect him to go hoarde food outside the house because of my own issues. it's his house too and he can have whatever food he wants in there.
Stop being unsupportive!
I know, right!!!!0 -
I would eat the occasional donut and ignore interruption's when I am doing my excercise. It's all in your hands. Good luck0
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_YourLoss_ wrote: »For me, I would be upset if my spouse posted a thread on here airing all his grievances about me. What if OP talks to him tonight and he has some sort of epiphany and signs up for MFP only to stumble upon this? It's best to keep private matters private, imo.
^And this x1000.0
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