Well this is awk..

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  • kevinjb1
    kevinjb1 Posts: 233 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your penis. K, thanks.


    Sent! Let me know when you get it....
  • DestinyS29
    DestinyS29 Posts: 48 Member
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    I went to my friends house at 12am for some all night halo. He was grounded so I had to sneak in. At 2am or so his dad starts coming downstairs so I run into the dining room and hide under a table. His dad then tells him its late and to go to bed. Then his dad decides to watch tv. So here I am stuck in the kitchen with his dad no more than 15 feet away from me so I couldn't leave. While Im texting my friend (who went upstairs) asking what to do I hear the telltale infamous music that only plays during a porno. His dad watched it for an hour or so, my friend not knowing what to do, and me under the dining room table. For those wondering, I could see the tv so I decided to watch too

    Hahahahahahahaha!!!
  • johnglenn1973
    johnglenn1973 Posts: 274
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    I went to my friends house at 12am for some all night halo. He was grounded so I had to sneak in. At 2am or so his dad starts coming downstairs so I run into the dining room and hide under a table. His dad then tells him its late and to go to bed. Then his dad decides to watch tv. So here I am stuck in the kitchen with his dad no more than 15 feet away from me so I couldn't leave. While Im texting my friend (who went upstairs) asking what to do I hear the telltale infamous music that only plays during a porno. His dad watched it for an hour or so, my friend not knowing what to do, and me under the dining room table. For those wondering, I could see the tv so I decided to watch too

    Hahahahahahahaha!!!

    Sounds like there might be some details left out of this story......or just define what "watching" really means. Hahahaha!
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I bet you smell like baby powder.

    ... at least that's how I remember it.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    Not really what you're asking for, but here's an awkward story.

    I took 3 months maternity leave when my daughter was born, and when I went back, I regularly closed/locked my office door to pump. I worked in HR and there were only about a dozen of us on our floor, between HR and Training, and everyone knew that I had had a baby and was pumping.

    So I finish pumping, put the caps on the bottles of milk and left my office to put them in the cooler I kept in the fridge. I run into a male coworker in kitchen who looks at the bottles and asks, "what's that?" I told him it was milk, to which he replies, "why is it in those little bottles?" I don't really care, but I'm trying not to make it awkward for him, but I go ahead and just tell him it's breast milk. Then the dumb@ss says, "Eww, where'd it come from??" Another female coworker had walked in prior to that and shouts at him "HER BREASTS, MORON!"

    I quit shortly after (totally unrelated; just wanted to stay home) but the rest of the time I worked there, I swear, he never looked me in the eye - he was always staring at my boobs. Not even like he was checking them out - it's like his mind was blown or he was waiting for them to start spraying him in the face or something.:laugh:
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Failed pick up lines:

    "Hey, sexy, does this look infected to you?"

    "You're sitting in it now."

    "Homicidal tendencies be damned! As of today I am OFF my medications!"



    That awkward moment when you lean in to kiss your grandfather, and he offers his tongue.

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