Think before you send that nasty message
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Have I told you about my gel packs today?
OP got a PM, so blocking the user will work there, at least.0 -
I love when people stand up for themselves0
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I've gotten my fair share of nasty PMs. I got one yesterday and then learned so did a few MFP friends. I have learned over time that they are looking for a reaction. I usually refuse to give it to them.
However I am in a much better head space now than I was let's say a year ago. A year ago the message might have pushed me over the edge. Sadly nothing stops internet trolls and cowboy keyboard artists. So, I brush it off, click delete and move on.
On a personal note to the OP. I am a binge eater in recovery. I make the choice to keep my diary private from everyone. I do that because I promised myself and my counselor that I would honestly log, no matter what. However I know I'd be likely to not honestly log a binge or what have you if I knew it was public. And, the only person I need to be honest and accountable to is myself and my treatment team. Just thought I would share in case it is helpful.
I got one too! I bet it was from the same person, even!
OP, to relate, like Shell, a few years ago, internet shenanigans would and did have the power to devastate me. I've done a lot of work on myself since then, and learned a lot about myself and my own strength through the process of setting new goals and achieving them. Believing in yourself is a powerful, amazing thing, and it's something you can sort of arrive at by faking it until you make it, I've found.
I'm glad you're not letting some "keyboard cowboy" derail your good efforts to be amazing!
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I am not insulting, but I am tired of being insulted by random interweb gurus. I come on here for info sometimes, and while a lot has been helpful, there are far too many professors and not enough students. I am not a science major, and I won't even pretend to understand the first and second (and umpteenth) law of thermodynamics. My talents lie elsewhere, but because I don't fully understand how the body metabolized proteins and amino acids than I must be a fool that isn't worth the time to respond to in a constructive way. And now, we have posters that are being belittled by random strangers whom take it upon themselves to make fun of the way they look, or that they aren't logging right, or that they are too stupid to read a book. My momma taught me to be nice to others, not cruel.
Its a public forum. You cnat have used many public forums otherwise youd realise just how mild and supportive MFP is. If you are seeking information then surely its advice from professors and those who know what they are talking about? the site attracts people from all backgrounds and abilities.
If you feel you have something to complain about then report them.0 -
Honestly, a huge portion of this community are snobby and pretentious on the forums, or straight up trolls.
HOWEVER, imo, a larger portion are people who sincerely want to help and have productive conversations..It's all about ignoring the negativity.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts tho, don't get discouraged
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I feel your pain. It's amazing how the we use the interwebs every day to ask advice, talk about common goals, and glean info...yet we are told to stop taking it so seriously because the interwebs is actually full of crazy people that like to torture kittens. Some of the posts on the boards are like a bunch of smart kids trying to see who is the smartest of them all. Honestly, they just Google very quickly, and then act like they are the gods of nutrition. They arent, because if they were, then they would be pulling their own peer reviewed published works to use as a reference. Brush them off....they are sad, lonely people that probably do torture kittens when they aren't belittling others.
What? Are you trying to be offensive or do you come by it naturally?
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PinkPixiexox wrote: »There are quite a few people here that think they are the food police and I find it beyond rude. Had you have reached out here and asked people to actively analyze your food diary and offer opinions, that reaction to your choices was still unnecessary and snarky. These 'food police' individuals need to understand that they too started off knowing absolutely nothing about the weight loss process and had to learn it step by step. I'm still learning every single day but I'm afraid I wouldn't have had a polite word to say to someone openly critiquing my food without being asked to. Mind your business and take a seat, is my answer.
This is not tough love. Tough love shouldn't come from strangers. This is a support website for weight loss, not a place to patrol and police people's choices. Generally, people will gradually work out *WHY* weight isn't coming off without being bullied into changing things. A few years ago, if someone ridiculed me into stopping eating a very low calorie diet, I would have burst into helpless tears because I was vulnerable and confused and didn't know WHAT was right.
My approach on here is utter kindness - because I know the struggle. I would never, EVER dream of calling out someone else in such a way, not only because I have manners but tact aswell. Rudeness is ugly.
Rant over.
And OP, head up high, forget about it and move on. You're fine. Do it your way and don't let anyone try and throw you.
I think this is some of the problem. This really isn't a support site, it's a discussion site. It also is not specifically for weight loss. It's a fitness site, so you have users with many different perspectives and at many different stages of fitness here. Some of whom have never been overweight.
I've seen a lot of people post that are surprised and confused by the not-entirely-positive responses they get, thinking they are in something like the clearly titled 'Motivation and Support' forum. Because they are surprised and confused, they also tend to a) read more into the post than is really there, b) read the post with a negative 'tone', and c) get defensive about it. At which point everything goes downhill.
The above has nothing to do with OP, that obviously wasn't a problem with her. On that, I happen to agree with DeguelloTex. The problem with posting a 'stop being nasty' message is that it feeds the people on here who enjoy being hurtful. OP can't control what they do, only what she does. And the best thing she can do is to report it to the moderators and hopefully get that person shut down, then either shake it off and move on, or use it as motivation.
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I feel your pain. It's amazing how the we use the interwebs every day to ask advice, talk about common goals, and glean info...yet we are told to stop taking it so seriously because the interwebs is actually full of crazy people that like to torture kittens. Some of the posts on the boards are like a bunch of smart kids trying to see who is the smartest of them all. Honestly, they just Google very quickly, and then act like they are the gods of nutrition. They arent, because if they were, then they would be pulling their own peer reviewed published works to use as a reference. Brush them off....they are sad, lonely people that probably do torture kittens when they aren't belittling others.
I think those "Kids" have their own forum talking about this forum. It seems some of them even got banned because their mean snarky posts. They have the same mentality about their superior knowledge and it seems to be unappreciated here so they vent over there.
You mean the people who have been successful in losing weight and keeping it off?0 -
Kind of surprised this post took so long to reach the "let's blatantly attack members of this community in as broad a style as possible so we can pretend we aren't calling anyone in specific out" stage. The insults usually start by page one on these.
It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.0 -
I feel your pain. It's amazing how the we use the interwebs every day to ask advice, talk about common goals, and glean info...yet we are told to stop taking it so seriously because the interwebs is actually full of crazy people that like to torture kittens. Some of the posts on the boards are like a bunch of smart kids trying to see who is the smartest of them all. Honestly, they just Google very quickly, and then act like they are the gods of nutrition. They arent, because if they were, then they would be pulling their own peer reviewed published works to use as a reference. Brush them off....they are sad, lonely people that probably do torture kittens when they aren't belittling others.
I think those "Kids" have their own forum talking about this forum. It seems some of them even got banned because their mean snarky posts. They have the same mentality about their superior knowledge and it seems to be unappreciated here so they vent over there.
Nah, it's an open forum, everyone is welcome! Come share your workout of the day like I did this morning.
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I feel your pain. It's amazing how the we use the interwebs every day to ask advice, talk about common goals, and glean info...yet we are told to stop taking it so seriously because the interwebs is actually full of crazy people that like to torture kittens. Some of the posts on the boards are like a bunch of smart kids trying to see who is the smartest of them all. Honestly, they just Google very quickly, and then act like they are the gods of nutrition. They arent, because if they were, then they would be pulling their own peer reviewed published works to use as a reference. Brush them off....they are sad, lonely people that probably do torture kittens when they aren't belittling others.
I think those "Kids" have their own forum talking about this forum. It seems some of them even got banned because their mean snarky posts. They have the same mentality about their superior knowledge and it seems to be unappreciated here so they vent over there.
You mean the people who have been successful in losing weight and keeping it off?
No, the people who got banned because they were snarky and rude and the other that followed because birds flock together. But yes they are successful but that doesn't mean they have the right to be snarky rude or mean.
So you're against people being mean, but side with a post that calls other members sad, lonely animal torturers?
And then you snark against a whole group of people on this forum?
I see.0 -
What? Good gravy. I said that posters who call other people names, make rude comments about their looks, and belittle people are sad and lonely people. Since when did cruelty to others become an admirable trait?0
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I feel your pain. It's amazing how the we use the interwebs every day to ask advice, talk about common goals, and glean info...yet we are told to stop taking it so seriously because the interwebs is actually full of crazy people that like to torture kittens. Some of the posts on the boards are like a bunch of smart kids trying to see who is the smartest of them all. Honestly, they just Google very quickly, and then act like they are the gods of nutrition. They arent, because if they were, then they would be pulling their own peer reviewed published works to use as a reference. Brush them off....they are sad, lonely people that probably do torture kittens when they aren't belittling others.
I think those "Kids" have their own forum talking about this forum. It seems some of them even got banned because their mean snarky posts. They have the same mentality about their superior knowledge and it seems to be unappreciated here so they vent over there.
You mean the people who have been successful in losing weight and keeping it off?
No, the people who got banned because they were snarky and rude and the other that followed because birds flock together. But yes they are successful but that doesn't mean they have the right to be snarky rude or mean.
99.9% of the time people aren't being snarky or rude others just can't handle a mirror being put in front of them and having to take a good long hard look at themselves.0 -
Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!0
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Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
Its a public forum. If they break the rules then report them otherwise they cna post what they like. Nobody said you had to take notice. Care to link the thread so people cna judge for themselves rather than relying on your interpretation?0 -
Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
People were disagreeing with the assertion that you can eat in a calorie surplus and lose weight. Because it isn't true. And letting other members believe that it is, by not challenging the idea, can be detrimental to their progress. Challenging an idea and calling out false information isn't being mean.0 -
Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
Its a public forum. If they break the rules then report them otherwise they cna post what they like. Nobody said you had to take notice. Care to link the thread so people cna judge for themselves rather than relying on your interpretation?
I'm guessing it's this one:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10252904/lchf-high-calories-and-losing/p1
I may or may not have been present for the NOODLES!! conversation. To be fair it did descend into a bit of a farce.0 -
Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
People were disagreeing with the assertion that you can eat in a calorie surplus and lose weight. Because it isn't true. And letting other members believe that it is, by not challenging the idea, can be detrimental to their progress. Challenging an idea and calling out false information isn't being mean.
That is hilarious, how things can be twisted... it sounded like it was an attack on lchf but was actually a disagreement on eating in a surplus to lose weight. A great example of perception distortion, and classic MFP
OP, unfortunately, the person that PM'ed you obviously either isn't very nice, or was having a bad day. Just try to seize this as a moment to empower yourself, and say "Today, I am going to ignore that person's negativity. I am strong, I can do this! I won't let anything or anyone derail me this time, including myself!"0
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