Think before you send that nasty message
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DeguelloTex wrote: »
The onus is on the person not to be pushed back. Absolutely it is. Her life is her responsibility. Now, again, tell me how that means I said it is OK to be jerk.DeguelloTex wrote: »
Can you point out where I said that? I'll wait.DeguelloTex wrote: »Alternatively, don't be pushed back by messages from random internet strangers. You have control over your reactions. You don't have control over the nastiness of people.
So it's okay to be a jerk because people shouldn't be so sensitive?
You seemed to be placing the onus on the original poster ("don't be pushed back by messages from random internet strangers").
If I was as mentally strong as I want to be, I doubt I would need to lose 50 pounds to begin with.
I totally agree with you. I have been using MFP for a while now and have never used the forum for this exact reason. I would not have a weight problem if I was mentally stronger. This forum has tremendous potential to help. However, it can be a sensitive issue for many people, including myself. To tell me not to be sensitive does nothing to motivate or help anyone's position.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
The onus is on the person not to be pushed back. Absolutely it is. Her life is her responsibility. Now, again, tell me how that means I said it is OK to be jerk.DeguelloTex wrote: »
Can you point out where I said that? I'll wait.DeguelloTex wrote: »Alternatively, don't be pushed back by messages from random internet strangers. You have control over your reactions. You don't have control over the nastiness of people.
So it's okay to be a jerk because people shouldn't be so sensitive?
You seemed to be placing the onus on the original poster ("don't be pushed back by messages from random internet strangers").
If I was as mentally strong as I want to be, I doubt I would need to lose 50 pounds to begin with.
I totally agree with you. I have been using MFP for a while now and have never used the forum for this exact reason. I would not have a weight problem if I was mentally stronger. This forum has tremendous potential to help. However, it can be a sensitive issue for many people, including myself. To tell me not to be sensitive does nothing to motivate or help anyone's position.
^^ This exactly.0 -
blankiefinder wrote: »Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
People were disagreeing with the assertion that you can eat in a calorie surplus and lose weight. Because it isn't true. And letting other members believe that it is, by not challenging the idea, can be detrimental to their progress. Challenging an idea and calling out false information isn't being mean.
That is hilarious, how things can be twisted... it sounded like it was an attack on lchf but was actually a disagreement on eating in a surplus to lose weight. A great example of perception distortion, and classic MFPWell, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
People were disagreeing with the assertion that you can eat in a calorie surplus and lose weight. Because it isn't true. And letting other members believe that it is, by not challenging the idea, can be detrimental to their progress. Challenging an idea and calling out false information isn't being mean.
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This. I've gotten occasional insulting (or weird marketing/pervy) emails, but nothing that really bothered me. If someone stepped over the line too far, though, I wouldn't have any problem with reporting it, and for something insulting and totally out of the blue I might.
I also might just respond, depending on the specific email and the context.
Anyway, the person sounds like a jerk.0 -
Thanks msf and bambi.
vlovell24Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
What she was proposing was contrary to everything MFP supports i.e eating at a calorific deficit is what causes weight loss. It would make her unique if she was indeed losing at a suprlus or ofc she is wrong in her assumption and people were telling her. If people do not understand about the basics of weight loss and express unsound knowledge, then it will be pointed out. Yes it is foolish to believe you lose weight by eating more than your boy needs.
I had a feeling youd presented your version of it. Context is everything.0 -
Hey friends...how about we not bring the drama of another thread into this one? Not cool. Also, a ToS violation. So is saying something is a ToS violation, but I'm okay with it and accept the warning if it comes.
Ya, along those lines, here's a request to use the Flag > Report feature for posts that are clear violations of the http://myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines rather than posting about kitten torturers.0 -
I feel your pain. It's amazing how the we use the interwebs every day to ask advice, talk about common goals, and glean info...yet we are told to stop taking it so seriously because the interwebs is actually full of crazy people that like to torture kittens.
Well, it is, but that doesn't seem relevant here. MFP isn't a particularly tough environment compared to the average parenting forum or political forum or music forum even this book forum I once was a member of (major knock-down drag-out on Great Gatsby at one point, and definitely don't bring up Franzen, pro or con!).
There is major crazy on the internet -- surely that can't be denied.Some of the posts on the boards are like a bunch of smart kids trying to see who is the smartest of them all. Honestly, they just Google very quickly, and then act like they are the gods of nutrition. They arent, because if they were, then they would be pulling their own peer reviewed published works to use as a reference. Brush them off....they are sad, lonely people that probably do torture kittens when they aren't belittling others.
This is weird, and seems like your own issue. What I see is people generally trying to help others and occasionally interesting discussions/debates about the latest studies or theories breaking out. Plus, of course, efforts to debunk a lot of the false information that is far too common in the dieting world and which many of us may have absorbed without thinking it through from the people around us or women's magazines or who knows. I know I have some knee jerk wacky ideas that I've had to think through and decide whether they really made sense.
Anyway, given the usual "mean people" threads, it's usually the people arguing against assertions that one MUST NOT eat fruit or carbs or sweets or sugar or meat or whatever it is who are (weirdly) accused of being mean (I suspect some think I'm mean, although I don't think that's fair at all). That's basically the oppose of what happened to this poster, so I think your effort to connect the two is off-base.0 -
Well, some young lady made a post about lchf, and got told that she must be some special kind of snowflake (ya know, cause she is such an idiot), how dare she be so foolish as to think that her plan was working for her. How dare she ask others if they have tried the same. Then they started arguing about noodles. NOODLES!!
Its a public forum. If they break the rules then report them otherwise they cna post what they like. Nobody said you had to take notice. Care to link the thread so people cna judge for themselves rather than relying on your interpretation?
I'm guessing it's this one:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10252904/lchf-high-calories-and-losing/p1
I may or may not have been present for the NOODLES!! conversation. To be fair it did descend into a bit of a farce.
I missed the NOODLE conversation, but what I gathered is that the OP made her post, there were several people trying to give good advice, even if they didn't agree with each other, and then it derailed into something like CICO doesn't work for everyone because that's what I believe the science is. Yeah.
OP: There are mean people on any forum. There's actually fewer here then in other places I've posted on, which is an amazing thing. There are people that are blunt and will give people hard truths they don't want to face. That can come off as mean and I understand that. But for someone to just message you out of the blue with unsolicited advice and essentially calling you stupid? That guy's a *kitten*. I know it can be hard to ignore, but that's what you have to learn to do. It still bugs me, but I've found being a smartass makes it easier to dismiss someone like that, so maybe prep some good smartass remarks so if it happens again you'll be prepared?0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
The onus is on the person not to be pushed back. Absolutely it is. Her life is her responsibility. Now, again, tell me how that means I said it is OK to be jerk.DeguelloTex wrote: »
Can you point out where I said that? I'll wait.DeguelloTex wrote: »Alternatively, don't be pushed back by messages from random internet strangers. You have control over your reactions. You don't have control over the nastiness of people.
So it's okay to be a jerk because people shouldn't be so sensitive?
You seemed to be placing the onus on the original poster ("don't be pushed back by messages from random internet strangers").
If I was as mentally strong as I want to be, I doubt I would need to lose 50 pounds to begin with.
I totally agree with you. I have been using MFP for a while now and have never used the forum for this exact reason. I would not have a weight problem if I was mentally stronger. This forum has tremendous potential to help. However, it can be a sensitive issue for many people, including myself. To tell me not to be sensitive does nothing to motivate or help anyone's position.
It's not about people telling you not to be sensitive. It's about you realizing that you get to control your reactions to things. Empowering yourself and letting others know they can do it too isn't a bad thing.0 -
diannethegeek wrote: »Kind of surprised this post took so long to reach the "let's blatantly attack members of this community in as broad a style as possible so we can pretend we aren't calling anyone in specific out" stage. The insults usually start by page one on these.
It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
All of this.0 -
I tried reading through this and gave up. I'll just add, I like the hypothesis that thicker skin makes one look less jiggly.0
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