I Want to Stay Fat

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Replies

  • nwg74
    nwg74 Posts: 362 Member
    Some people just like food too much. I recently read a story where a woman had a gastric band and lost 10 stone (140 pounds). She was consistently miserable because she couldn't eat what she liked. She has since had the band removed and regained the weight but she is now happy. There is no point being thin if you are unhappy all the time.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Good luck with your goal.
  • laele75
    laele75 Posts: 283 Member
    It wasn't ever a priority for me. I was a proud big girl who never had trouble with self-esteem. I had friends, I never hurt for a man unless I decided I didn't need one in my life. I was never ashamed of being fat, I never saw the point to dieting and I knew fad diets didn't work. I knew how to eat healthy. I LOVE vegetables and fruit. I just didn't bother. I ate what I liked and as much as I liked.

    I was threatened with Type II diabetes my whole life. I thought if it was inevitable, I might as well enjoy sugar while I can. Every adult in my family is overweight and has heart disease. I thought it was simply my lot in life. My mother, who's health and appearance I follow pretty strongly, couldn't lose weight from a nearly non-functional thyroid. I didn't think I could lose weight if I tried. So I never tried.

    I was very, very wrong. It started affect my health. My knees are going, probably from carrying around so much weight. I have trouble finding clothes I can afford (this is improving). I didn't try until it started affecting my quality of life. Which meant the damage was done and all I could do was try to lose weight and improve my health as best I can.

    I don't want to be thin. I want to be healthier. Being thinner will be a nice bonus too.
  • chatogal
    chatogal Posts: 436 Member
    bump
  • gillmitch
    gillmitch Posts: 64
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.



    what a load of cr*p !
  • MoJoPoe
    MoJoPoe Posts: 139 Member
    Emotions run deeply and affect body image, eating, all sorts of things. Being fit is more challenging for some than others. Never give up on what you really want. Better health comes with fitness.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I recently concluded that I must WANT to stay fat. Otherwise, I would be thin, right?

    Yeah, truly no one wants to be overweight. If we were offered a magic pill that would instantly take the fat away, we'd all swallow it, right?

    But there must have been some motivation for me to transform myself in to a whale - beyond just liking ice cream too much.

    Being fat has some benefits (warped though they are) for people. Hard to admit. It's almost taboo to admit.

    If you have trouble losing weight, have you ever just asked yourself WHY you continue to keep the weight on? (For many of us, it's not laziness, etc.) What is the answer?
    It's possible to want to eat all the ice creams now AND to not want to be fat. What you want in the short term is in conflict with what you want in the long term. This happens with all kinds of behaviors from smoking and drinking and drugs, whether to study for a test or go out and play/party, and financial decisions too.

    You are choosing the short term immediate benefit instead of the long term.
  • I have pondered this and concluded for myself that I didn't want to be thin. I didn't want to starve myself just so I could lose a little weight or fit into clothes that were more stylish. With my lifestyle losing weight has become a major chore and has essentially taken over my life. I have constant fights with my fiancee over how much or how little I eat, my bank account has suffered due to the grocery shopping of healthy choices I would hate to eat, and even though I have lost weight it has mostly been through starvation. On the other hand I feel bad when I eat out because of my weight sort of like everyone saying "That girl is so big, why is she even eating?" So yes I would like to stay fat but I understand that in the long haul I will have more problems if I stay this way and that is why I am trying to change my eating habits.
  • MrsSenecal
    MrsSenecal Posts: 312 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    This is very twisted. Because someones skinny they are more likely to be aubducted or raped???? As I am someone who works in Law Enforcement, ill tell you that ALL SORTS of people are raped and aubducted. These are some ridiculous reasons that you posted to make yourself feel better about not having to work to lose the weight. You need some help. Why are you here anyways?
  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    This is very twisted. Because someones skinny they are more likely to be aubducted or raped???? As I am someone who works in Law Enforcement, ill tell you that ALL SORTS of people are raped and aubducted. These are some ridiculous reasons that you posted to make yourself feel better about not having to work to lose the weight. You need some help. Why are you here anyways?
    Can you not see that the OP is working through the emotional reasons she has remained fat? She's not saying these are valid reasons to be overweight or obese. She's saying these are things she's told herself in order to remain comfortably fat. She's fooled herself into complacency. I did the same thing for many years. I'm only now learning how to feel safe in the world -- emotionally safe -- without hiding behind a layer of fat.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    I recently concluded that I must WANT to stay fat. Otherwise, I would be thin, right?

    Yeah, truly no one wants to be overweight. If we were offered a magic pill that would instantly take the fat away, we'd all swallow it, right?

    But there must have been some motivation for me to transform myself in to a whale - beyond just liking ice cream too much.

    Being fat has some benefits (warped though they are) for people. Hard to admit. It's almost taboo to admit.

    If you have trouble losing weight, have you ever just asked yourself WHY you continue to keep the weight on? (For many of us, it's not laziness, etc.) What is the answer?

    Because this is the first time in human history that the majority of people in certain parts of the world have access to inexpensive, calorie dense food. For the thousands and millions of years before this, it was in our bodies best interest to consume all food that came its way in order to ensure survival. We are fighting evolution. Should we give up that fight because it's hard?

    No.

    Why? Because the consequences medically are pretty clear. Most things worth having take effort. If you're satisfied with sub par and unwilling to put in the effort change, then just stay fat (as you stated in your thread title).
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    :huh: :noway:

    I hope this was meant to be funny (epic fail), because women are not raped for what they look like....and regardless of weight, any woman can be forced into a car or physically moved at gunpoint/knifepoint.

    Silence of the Lambs...Buffalo Bill was abducting and murdering "bigger" women. But, like you I'm trying to figure out if the OP was serious or sarcastic. So hard to tell when you can't see the person's face as they respond to these things...
  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
    Because this is the first time in human history that the majority of people in certain parts of the world have access to inexpensive, calorie dense food. For the thousands and millions of years before this, it was in our bodies best interest to consume all food that came its way in order to ensure survival. We are fighting evolution. Should we give up that fight because it's hard?

    No.

    Why? Because the consequences medically are pretty clear. Most things worth having take effort. If you're satisfied with sub par and unwilling to put in the effort change, then just stay fat (as you stated in your thread title).
    I don't think she is satisfied. She's just trying to figure out what got her to this point. Her thread title was provocative, not literal. At least that's how I took it.

    I guess not everyone can relate to the emotional reasoning we use to get fat and stay fat. Some of us have convinced ourselves for years that we're better off being fat. Some of us have learned to love the emotional safety of being fat. It takes time to delve into those issues, retrain the mind and understand that you don't have to be fat to feel safe and strong.
  • Andrea8985
    Andrea8985 Posts: 107
    I got fat because I got careless with my eating, and also didn't exercise to make up for the excess calories I was eating. No other reason. I stayed fat because it was easier than doing something about it.

    Until one day I realized I'm almost 24 and I am beautiful. Why wouldn't I want to lose the extra weight to be the best I can be? Granted, to truly be the best I can be I'll have to kick the smoking habit too. However, I (and anyone else) can do anything I set my mind to and so I will.
  • Diamond05
    Diamond05 Posts: 475 Member
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    :huh: :noway:

    I hope this was meant to be funny (epic fail), because women are not raped for what they look like....and regardless of weight, any woman can be forced into a car or physically moved at gunpoint/knifepoint.

    Couldn't get over that #9 thing either... Sometimes I can't believe what we can see on forums!

    Im sure if we did a list of why to not want to stay fat , it would win over the list of why to stay fat. While being fat the only time I'm happy is when Im stuffing my face because I love food and it tastes good. The rest of the time I'm unhappy... Why? When I'm having an hard time climbing stairs, when i go to get blood test and I have to go through many tries before they can discover a vain through that thick layer of fat, because flight company wants me to buy 2 seats, I cant do many things that have a weight limit, always being looked down/ laughed at for being fat, clothes don't fit well, and so on...
  • StarChanger
    StarChanger Posts: 605 Member
    I find this topic very interesting and most of the answers intriguing. I definitely know my self-esteem has always been a LOT more fragile than most people who know me would EVER guess. I have always been outgoing, confident, smart, witty, funny, and friends with many more males than females. Part of this is because I was a tomboy, part of it because I picked up traditionally male-dominated hobbies, and then, eventually a male-dominated career. Hard to accomplish any of that as a wall-flower but the truth is that I'm starting to think, that because I was a tomboy, I learned to react to situations in a much more "male" pattern. I learned to be sarcastic. I learned to crack jokes to take the focus off of me. I learned to be "the best friend" so that if they weren't interested in me as dating material, I could still hang around. I learned to be tough and somewhat unempathetic, compared to most women. It's worked. And I never lacked for attention when I was a 5'8", buxom blonde, at a normal weight.....

    Then I met hubby....who has been the best thing to ever happen to me and has allowed me to blossom in so many other arenas...but no hubby, even one as non-jealous as mine, wants 20 male "best friends" hanging out with his wife all the time. Maybe, between the very real strain of my schooling and career, and trying to not upset my hubby, I have let myself go to avoid the attention. I dunno. I can say I do NOT enjoy being overweight. It effects my confidence in every facet of life and it's NOT who I am (I really AM confident and an adrenaline junky by nature). It is puzzling to me why I have allowed this to happen....but I do know that I can't continue to live my life as the shell of my former self.....
  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
    I find this topic very interesting and most of the answers intriguing. I definitely know my self-esteem has always been a LOT more fragile than most people who know me would EVER guess. I have always been outgoing, confident, smart, witty, funny, and friends with many more males than females. Part of this is because I was a tomboy, part of it because I picked up traditionally male-dominated hobbies, and then, eventually a male-dominated career. Hard to accomplish any of that as a wall-flower but the truth is that I'm starting to think, that because I was a tomboy, I learned to react to situations in a much more "male" pattern. I learned to be sarcastic. I learned to crack jokes to take the focus off of me. I learned to be "the best friend" so that if they weren't interested in me as dating material, I could still hang around. I learned to be tough and somewhat unempathetic, compared to most women. It's worked. And I never lacked for attention when I was a 5'8", buxom blonde, at a normal weight.....

    Then I met hubby....who has been the best thing to ever happen to me and has allowed me to blossom in so many other arenas...but no hubby, even one as non-jealous as mine, wants 20 male "best friends" hanging out with his wife all the time. Maybe, between the very real strain of my schooling and career, and trying to not upset my hubby, I have let myself go to avoid the attention. I dunno. I can say I do NOT enjoy being overweight. It effects my confidence in every facet of life and it's NOT who I am (I really AM confident and an adrenaline junky by nature). It is puzzling to me why I have allowed this to happen....but I do know that I can't continue to live my life as the shell of my former self.....
    Your story really strikes a chord with me. Thank you for sharing it.

    I find this thread fascinating.
  • Karinlin25
    Karinlin25 Posts: 11 Member
    no benefits

    ^ this. I can not see a single benefit to staying fat. I've gotten to where I'm happy to be at,and I feel SO much better, physically and mentally. I can accomplish way more things than I used to be able to, and I'm way more confident in myself. Plenty of other benefits of losing the weight, I could go on and on. But I have not a single benefit that I can think of for staying fat. Sounds like it's just an excuse that is made to oneself in order to try and be happy with the fat. Losing weight is HARD. It's tough, and it can be upsetting when you don't see results. However, when you push through it and finally get to where you want to be at, it feels absolutely amazing.

    I think her point is nobody wants to be overweight and unhealthy but at times we use that to cover something else up. The benefit is to decrease the pain in another area of our lives. When you're eating, you can't cry so the benefit is to not cry anymore. Food can't reject you or leave you. It's clearly not a healthy 'benefit' but it's something that is covering another hurt.
  • hrharris70
    hrharris70 Posts: 30 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    # 7, You said benefits of being fat not unattractive. They are definitely not mutually exclusive. I had a coworker who was larger than me but much prettier and got all the attention, lol.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    I do associate being skinny with a rough point in my life. I do remember feeling awkward when I got unwanted advances from men and from my female friends trying to pick out skanky clothes for me and just being objectified from the general public. There were a lot of other issues that I was having at the time, so my confidence wasn't all there and I just wasn't mature enough for the problems I was having.

    I am hoping that when I do become a healthy weight again (and it will happen) that I won't have all those problems. Hopefully my wedding ring will fend off 90% of the advances (sadly, it won't fend off all of them, because some folks are douchey). Hopefully my body language will convey a "don't mess with me" attitude, and hopefully next time I won't have all the struggles with my family that made me feel helpless.

    I have stalled out on my weight loss, even though I know full well how to lose and that I'm capable of doing it now. I've maintained my losses, and I don't feel bad about that. I think I needed some time to rest, get some energy back and work on some other things. Right now, most of my issues with losing weight stem from working overtime and just being too lazy to cook after work. I will get some workouts in here and there, but the meal planning is a LOT of work. I'll get back on board at some point, but until then, I am here to maintain and support my friends. I'm not backsliding, so that's good.