I Want to Stay Fat

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Replies

  • I think as a child part of the issue was I was lonely, so I turned to food and books. I always felt like an outcast and like everyone secretly hated me, and food made me feel better. I ate like a pig when I danced, and then in my teens, depression and heightened anxiety set in. I did lose some at WW, but when I quit I gained it back on and I think since then a fear of responsibility has set in. I want to lose the weight and earn a degree and hold down a respectable job, but I'm afraid I can't do it and come up with reasons why it's easier to stay where I am or get worse. I think as much as I want to be independent, I also fear it.

    tl;dr I think the eating/weight gain has been a defense mechanism for me and I think the same can be said for a lot of people. There aren't benefits to staying fat, but I think when we're out of our comfort zone or get scared, we make up excuses or reasons why it'd be better/
  • Cinnamis
    Cinnamis Posts: 5 Member
    If you're fat:
    1. Female friends won't be jealous of you.
    2. Men won't make unwanted advances toward you.
    3. Your boss won't see you as a threat, and therefore won't be mean to you or try to sabotage you.
    4. You won't disappoint people if you get fat, because you're already fat.
    5. You'll find out who your real friends are. if they stick with you despite your fatness, they truly like you for who you are.
    6. You'll find out if your husband really loves you for who you are or for what you look like.
    7. You can skip all the stares, catwhistles and flirtatious gestures you might receive if you were good looking.
    8. You can feel satisfied you are not conforming to an unfair and compassionate-less society.
    9. You will be less likely to be abducted, raped, etc. You will be too heavy to be forced into a car or physically moved.

    YES. Every single one of these hits the social-psychological-pragmatic nail right on the head. Smartly observed, and aptly put. Thank you so much for saying this.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Okay, and not not to be funny, but I know it will seem kinda funny but not to be trite in such an emotional thread, but I am kinda gonna miss the elastic waisted pants. A little. I mean, I already am.

    You're in luck! This year it's all elasticized harem/peg leg pants (tapered at the ankle; normal crotch height, unlike the MC Hammer pants we were supposed to wear last year). I love that this is true - so comfortable.

    in silk, too :):)
  • Just made me laugh - thanks!
  • actually, these are many reasons i hide behind my fat. Im so afraid of being thin and catching a guy's eye. i didnt used to ahve self control or self worth when i was thin, dont know i will have it if i get thin again

    This was an issue for me for a long time. Then I realized that I had to beat those demons even when I WAS fat, and I accepted it. Mostly.
  • Pamela_in_Progress
    Pamela_in_Progress Posts: 197 Member
    bump
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
    I believe it's addiction to sugar, salt and fat, advertising and ancestoral/cultural views in relation to body size and portion control.

    Foods are so full of sugar, salt and fat and/or additives with all the processed foods and take away options. People lack time and therefore choose easier food options which are full of crap.

    Advertising and eating out at restaurants in general serve large portion sizes majority of the time. I used to have the view "if I am paying this much then I am going to eat it all (or doggy bag it to take it home).

    Back in the olden days people thought people who were overweight were wealthy & no doubt healthy cuz they were obviously feeding well. Why do grandparents always freak out when they see you've lost weight!

    It's easier now to eat whatever the hell you want and not exercise, but it'll be harder in the long run.
  • dazydawn
    dazydawn Posts: 55 Member


    I have been fat for a long time in my life, and every time I go to the doc, they always say I am healthy, not one suggests I should lose weight.


    You're only 26, the health issues of being overweight haven't caught up with you yet. Remain fat and your story will change. My hubby is obese and always used the same reasoning. Our doctor still doesn't tell him to lose weight, just treats all his issues. At 57 he has high BP, is pre diabetic, has trouble breathing and has to use a CPAP to sleep, wears a knee brace because his joints can't support him anymore and is just generally not healthy.

    First, I would like to clarify that I understand what the OP is saying. It is interesting to see how harsh folks are about this. If they feel they had a weight issue because they are lazy and ignorant, good for them. They found their problem and apparently fixed it. It's funny that reading the "this is bs...fat people are just lazy and stupid" they all sound so angry. So, obviously no emotional issues there. (this is sarcasm.....I see some have a hard time seeing the intent behind the words, so I'll just point it out in case someone didn't get it.)

    But, what I really wanted to respond to is the post above.

    Regarding the post above, I agree. My husband smokes. When he goes to the doctor the doctor tells him he is healthy and in good shape. Marvelous. We all know he will more than likely get lung cancer or have a hard attack or live the later years of his life with emphysema (sp?....oh, wait, that's the fat girl being too lazy to use a dictionary...how appropriate.). ANYWAY, my husband knows this, his doctor knows this, I know this. But, today, he is healthy as determined by his stats. The doc doesn't talk to him about the dangers of smoking. They have had the discussion in the past, how many times do you need to have it. I am obese. I see my doctor once a year. We don't talk about the hazards of being overweight. My blood tests are good, my yearly's are fine. My aches and pains can be attributed to my age and certainly losing weight might alleviate some. What is there to discuss.

    Basically, the point is, by the time your doctor actually treats you for obesity related issues....it's probably too late. Don't be in denial. Yes, many of the diseases are related to other issues....example: diabetes is related to glucose/insulin/sugar issues and the correlation with weight would be that fat people don't eat healthy so of course they get diabetes......And if the fat people ate a non-diabetic, healthy diet, then we wouldn't be fat. Is that the chicken or the egg? Who cares. Even if that weren't true, the weight exacerbates the problem. It strains your body and your organs. You can be fat and healthy. But, for how long?

    IMO, I think fat is unhealthy. I am fortunate that I haven't gotten sick or had any medical issues. However, I'm in my 40's. I am quite certain that if I continue the way I am and don't do something about it then my 50's or 60's I will probably not be so lucky.

    I'd like to add that I'm not trying to be critical or attack. Be happy that you are healthy, that's wonderful. Just know that being overweight doesn't tend to lead to longevity or continued health. It tends to lead to issues farther down the line.
  • jenn26point2
    jenn26point2 Posts: 441 Member

    First, I would like to clarify that I understand what the OP is saying. It is interesting to see how harsh folks are about this. If they feel they had a weight issue because they are lazy and ignorant, good for them. They found their problem and apparently fixed it. It's funny that reading the "this is bs...fat people are just lazy and stupid" they all sound so angry. So, obviously no emotional issues there. (this is sarcasm.....I see some have a hard time seeing the intent behind the words, so I'll just point it out in case someone didn't get it.)

    But, what I really wanted to respond to is the post above.

    Regarding the post above, I agree. My husband smokes. When he goes to the doctor the doctor tells him he is healthy and in good shape. Marvelous. We all know he will more than likely get lung cancer or have a hard attack or live the later years of his life with emphysema (sp?....oh, wait, that's the fat girl being too lazy to use a dictionary...how appropriate.). ANYWAY, my husband knows this, his doctor knows this, I know this. But, today, he is healthy as determined by his stats. The doc doesn't talk to him about the dangers of smoking. They have had the discussion in the past, how many times do you need to have it. I am obese. I see my doctor once a year. We don't talk about the hazards of being overweight. My blood tests are good, my yearly's are fine. My aches and pains can be attributed to my age and certainly losing weight might alleviate some. What is there to discuss.

    Basically, the point is, by the time your doctor actually treats you for obesity related issues....it's probably too late. Don't be in denial. Yes, many of the diseases are related to other issues....example: diabetes is related to glucose/insulin/sugar issues and the correlation with weight would be that fat people don't eat healthy so of course they get diabetes......And if the fat people ate a non-diabetic, healthy diet, then we wouldn't be fat. Is that the chicken or the egg? Who cares. Even if that weren't true, the weight exacerbates the problem. It strains your body and your organs. You can be fat and healthy. But, for how long?

    IMO, I think fat is unhealthy. I am fortunate that I haven't gotten sick or had any medical issues. However, I'm in my 40's. I am quite certain that if I continue the way I am and don't do something about it then my 50's or 60's I will probably not be so lucky.

    I'd like to add that I'm not trying to be critical or attack. Be happy that you are healthy, that's wonderful. Just know that being overweight doesn't tend to lead to longevity or continued health. It tends to lead to issues farther down the line.

    ^This
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 804 Member
    For me, being fat has insulated me from the world. Now that I can better cope with the ups and downs of life, I don't need the insulation.

    Exactly. You are right, there are psychological reasons why many people put on weight and keep it on. One of my closest friends was always really thin until she got to 20 and was raped. After that she piled on the pounds and she has no interest in losing them. I think she feels 'safer' now that she's big. She feels protected by the fact that she is fat.

    Now I'm not saying everyone who puts on weight has psychological problems but in a lot of chronic cases were people have been obese for years and just keep on getting bigger, there is usually an underlying reason... something that needs to be accepted and dealt with... whether it be emotional pain/trauma, bad habits formed in childhood, low self esteem....

    I think weight loss for a lot of people is more than just a physical thing.... there are mental demons/attitudes and beliefs that need to be shed along with the fat... and sometimes they are harder to overcome

    This was me. My father forged an inappropriate relationship with me at a young age. When I was nine I started eating everything. My grandpa called me hollow leg. My mom wasn't fat, so I thought it would help me if I was. It didn't. At 11 I finally saved up enough money to leave home, then got caught. I was already over 120 pounds at 11. I continued to pile on the pounds. At 16 I got married to get out of my father's house and I was already 189 pounds and a size 16.

    The one thing I promised myself is that I would be a much better parent to my kids than my parents were to me. Then, when I was ready to start conceiving in March 2012, I was told that I had PCOS and had to drop 50 pounds to conceive. That was when I realized that my weight and my decisions were the only things still hurting me.
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
    ...we focus on tweaking our nutrition and exercise routines, but often there are more abstract things that need to change as well. This does not make them any less important.


    We so often ignore the mental/emotional aspect.

    There is a difference between a reason and an excuse, but the line between the 2 is very blurry and constantly changing.
  • DebbieMc3
    DebbieMc3 Posts: 289 Member
    my friend saw a therapist about this. they said he kept himself "fat" to keep himself faithful. When he was in shape, girls would hit on him all the time and he cheated on every girlfriend.
    He said staying less attractive keeps him honest with his fidelity.

    it's sort of how some molestation victims do it so that guys aren't attracted to them.
  • Thank you, C!
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,164 Member
    Your right I am missing her point and I'm sorry for that. But in 2010 I suffered a bad accident that took away a lot of life's choices for me. It makes me want to cry when I hear someone say these things. I would give anything to be able to exercise the way normal people can. When I hear someone just wanting to throw their life away, well it just breaks my heart. I want good things for everyone on this site and I know losing weight it a struggle. I am right there with you struggling to regain some of the mobility that being overweight has taken from me.

    My progress will be slower because my exercise is so limited but that doesn't mean I am going to stop trying because it easy. I am just eating as healthy as I can afford to. I think that kind of talk by people is destructive for those of us who are trying as hard as we can to lose weight.

    I am the first one to say you should be happy with who you are but there is always room for improvement.

    I was in your shoes in 2008...........it has taken 5 years to get my life back and now the weight is finally coming off