WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2015
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morning peeps-
megblair- yeayyyyyyyy for your loss!!!!!
jmkmomm - hopu u feel better
cynthiat60 - HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!
grandmallie - when he said that he was going on his walk, i would have said, ok hun, i'll just put him in your room til you come back and we can take care of him together. have a good walk snookums! :0) kisses!!!!!!!!
well tomorrow is my followup visit with the doc, we will c how it goes. I weighed myself this morning and I haven't gained anything which is a plus, actually, i'm still below my goal weight. i'm a lb lower than my profile settings I just don't bother to move/update it, no big.
type to ya later0 -
My flowers made it home in one piece lol
GMAllie That sounds terrible. Thank goodness we don't have skunks here.
Brenda Posting here definitely works, especially if you can pre-log and factor in some treats. Stops you feeling deprived. Keep coming back for positive support. You are worth the effort.
Pip it's good that you didn't put on any weight after surgery. Hope all goes well tomorrow.
(((Hugs))) if you need them.
I have read everything up to date, but have to go make dinner early as we are off out at 7pm for our wine-tasting. It's all go today
Irish Terri
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Mia, I have to disagree with one thing you told Allison about Tom. You said the man "seems to have zero awareness" but I think he is very aware. I think he is being a jerk on purpose to see just how much she will take. But that is just MHO. I just want Allison to be treated the way way she deserves.
Love you all,
Janet
Myrtle Beach, SC0 -
Irish Terri gorgeous.
Mia love your advice about putting on your mask of good self care before helping someone else. That is what I have been doing this week. I am working at staying clam and letting others take care of themselves. I do need to move more because I am having pound creep as a result of not moving enough.
Pip great advice to Allison to put the dog in a place like a bathroom and clean up the mess together. I would like to see his face at that suggestion.
Alison : Janet agree with you too. Someone else said he is pushing you to leave so you are the bad guy. He may also be doing it for financial reasons. He may have more to gain if you walk away from the relationship. Mary also gave you great advice to consult a lawyer to find out your rights. The red flags keep coming Alison. Protect yourself. His character from what you describe here is not in your best interests. It does sound like he can turn on a dime and be quite charming, but YOU CANNOT TRUST HIM. BIGGEST RED FLAG OF ALL.
I have started when someone asks for something rather than jump up right away. I do it when it is convenient for me. I also now explain to them where to find it. My DSIL said isn't it easy to just get it for them. Short term yes long term no because they just learn to expect me to go and get it. I also try to delegate when I can. This is part of how I am taking care of me. MNMargaret
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thanks for all the love you guys.. like i have back-up all over the place...
I will say something to him tonight when he gets home,he could have quickly shut the door and just kept him contained to the family room, and taking off for a walk and leaving me to take care of it all was just damn rude.. and I will tell him that...0 -
Morning ladies! Had a hard time sleeping last night. I am probably excited about getting ready for our trip. Today I am washing bedding, clothes and packing. We will be packing our cartoon night because we have to leave at 4:30 tomorrow morning. My DH has a meeting two hours from home. We will leave after that meeting around noon.
Have a great day everyone!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
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Thanks to everyone for your kind words regarding my daughter's loss. NC Carol, you have zeroed in perfectly on how I feel, helpless to help her. I am delighted with her two children and love them dearly. I would have loved this one too, but I was worried about DD's health from the start. She nearly died in childbirth with DGD. The birth of DGS was much easier and both came home from the hospital in good health. I hope she will be able to get healthy and try again later if that is her heart's desire. I had two, a boy and girl, and thought it was perfect. She has two, a girl and boy and I think that is perfect, too. I have room in my heart for another but am most concerned about DD's health. Miakoda, I know this is how DD is feeling right now, "A child has been lost and so many dreams for what the future might be have been dashed." Perhaps she will give herself time to recover and try again. We'll wait and see. I offered to come and be with her, but she said no for now. She and DSIL need to have some time together. I'll go if she needs me.
I backed out of spin/zumba today so my neighbor will be going on her own. I'm just not up to it today.
We sent our ceiling fan off for repair about a week ago. It quit after only 19 years of continuous service. :laugh: They sent us a new motor for the price of repair, and today we will try to hang it back up in the bedroom. I recommend Casa Blanca fans to those who like ceiling fans. They stand behind a good product. :bigsmile:
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
October Goals :
1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
5. Eliminate alcohol.
6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.
I wonder if you could talk about how she almost died in child birth with her other child? What where her complications? My neice is due next month with her first baby that is why I ask. Rosie 0 -
Glad to have found this board...I'm 55 and slowly reaching my goal...some ups and some downs...more downs than ups, but I'm not quitting.0
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Since so many ladies seem to be on the "Tom-bashing" bandwagon, I will put in my 2 cents. Based on my personal experience, he already has a replacement, and plans for his future with "her" (in the process with my ex it was a "him", but that isn't the point). He is hard-working, and working hard on the house, because he intends to keep it. He is rude, mean, and vindictive so that Allison walks out of this, and hopefully will be so tired of the fight that she will leave with nothing. Personally, whether you want to save this relationship or not, I feel it is time to treat him the way he treats you, not the way you want to be treated. That ship has sailed a LONG time ago. Does he offer to take you out for supper after a long day? Or expect you to cook for him regardless? Does he help with the laundry? Housecleaning? upkeep of the animals? Nothing alive should suffer (keep visiting and helping DFiL), but do what it takes to take care of you, and stop doing anything productive for him. You already tried "kill him with kindness", and it got nowhere, because he checked out of this relationship a long time ago.
That said, I'm sure everyone hates me for saying all of it, but it is my opinion, based on the "cr@p I tolerated from current and past husbands, and the current one now knows his place. But short of putting on a tiara, I have my doubts that Tom will ever "get it". As I have said in the past, Allison, I just want to wrap my arms around you and hold you until it is all better. You deserve to be treated like the goddess that you are.
The next big question is: How long will I look at this? How many times will I re-read it? before I get up the guts to hit "post reply"? My true wish is that everything I typed is completely wrong, and the man just needs a good dose of Prozac in hopes of his unhappiness getting turned around, and that he can find a good, happy compromise in life and love.
Please, even if divorce is NOT the answer, get an attorney on retainer, just to be prepared. It does not mean you have decided on failure, it is just preparedness and protection of you !
(((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))0 -
Terri - well said!0
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thanks Terri ,
right now I am completely exsausted... I am close to a breaking point,but will not leave this home.. if he wants me out then he will have to file.. I will be speaking to him tonight, after he is fed.. better that way.. I want to know where we stand and what will be going on future wise.. I am mentally spent...
yes he does help with housework. does laundry when needed,he cleans the bathrooms,does all the handyman stuff.
I will talk to a lawyer , no money for a retainer so will see if I can find one that does a free consultation.0 -
Alison you were woken up in the middle of the night to a mess. Before talking to Tom I would get a good night's sleep. There is a saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. You are not a fool from what you are telling us you know what you need to do to protect yourself just do it after a good night sleep. Trying to talk to Tom when you are exhausted makes you too vulnerable. Whatever needs to be said can wait a day. If something happens in the middle of the night tonight let Tom take care of it. Tell him he owes you one after you cleaned up last night's mess.0
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hugs to anyone who needs them
hugs jane0 -
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Just taking a break, checking for the pictures of the golden doodle. I'll check back later tonight.
Meg, I only missed one day. Don't know why everyone worried, but it's very sweet.
Sylvia0 -
Gee he asked why I'm exhausted, told him I'm mentally and physically spent,and he asked why..said one I've been running all day long everyday,and mentally because of what's been going on with us...that shut him up.
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Irish Terri, did you do that flower arrangement yourself? Looks nice
Allison. first thing I would do would be to quit fixing his supper when you have so much to do. Maybe you need to take his laundry and put it in your trunk for awhile. I'm like the others, just want to wrap my arms around you. Maybe if all of us went there and told him what we thought of him and just had you in the middle.
Charlie noticed the low tire llight on in the Escape last night. He couldn't figure out how to take it off after he took care of the tire. Apparently you have to tap on the brake, honk the horn and unclick every single tire in a particular order. His appetite gets better every day. Only thing that is really wrong now is the swelling. Called the hospital to pay for his first infusion bill and they had the second one ready to send out so I paid that also. It's been a bill paying day.
Joyce, Indiana0 -
wowzers grandmallie0
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Well another day has started. Last evening I got a call from my DSM telling me my dad's best friend passed away. Wilmer was a very nice guy and we had kept in touch since dad passed. The funeral is today and I am working so can't go. Then this morning I get to work and find out one of our weekend girls gave notice effective Oct 30th. So that makes us short again. Gotta love it. Also when we got home last evening there was a note on the door from DGD saying how much she misses us and wishes she could see us. I knew it would be coming as last weekend we were two other DGD's. Then her mom tells me on FB how she cried when we were not home. Thanks for letting me vent.
Joyce--I think the ones like underwear are good. When my dad was ill we used the ones like underwear and it made him feel less like a baby. Glad to hear DH is eating better, but please take care of yourself. Worried about you.
Teresa from AZ--Welcome, this is a great place for support and friendship. Hope to see you around lots.
Sharon--Hugs! He sounds like a very unhappy person.
Allison--I agree with PIP about leaving the note laying around and then just say I was writing down my feelings. All I have to say about him putting the dog in bed with you was just mean. I agree you need to stop doing so much for him and when he asks why just tell him, he told you that you are a poor housekeeper and etc. Make him realize how much you do for him. Not by telling him, by showing him what it is like when you don't. I am so concerned about you and your health.
Meg--Hope your knee is feeling better. Doesn't sound good.
Heather--Sending prayers and hugs for you and DH.
I am not surprised the fitbit counted steps on the horse. I know when we ride the motorcycle if I don't keep my arm close to my side it will count steps. Tuesday I was rocking my DGGS and it counted the rocking as steps.
Brenda--Welcome back!!
Carol--Congrates on getting some job apps sent out.
Margaret--Great news about DB!!!!
Kim--Hope you are getting the new computer up and running. DH updated us to windows 10. Sure not easy to figure out and he can not figure out how to down load picutres from our camera.
Becca--Thanks for sharing. I agree you have to do what is best for you and your family.
Katla--So sorry to hear about DD and the baby. Sending hugs and prayers for all of you.
Meg--Congrates on the loss and do hope your knee is better soon. Will you have to have surgery?
Brenda--What keeps me from giving up is I know I have to do this for my health and better late than never. Just take it One Day at a Time.
Terri--Your multi-colored heart sounds very pretty and what a nice thing to give to someone who could use something to hold on to. I know when we lost our baby people didn't understand that the baby was already our child. Thank you for being so kind. I also like your idea for Sylvia of the tip jar. I just wounder if the people taking the class and paying the $20 know it is not going for the supplies.
Well ladies I am once again caught up and going to get some things done before time to go home. Ladies please take care of yourselves. Sending prayers and hugs.
October Goals
1. Weigh less at the end of the month then at the beginning.
2. Log every bite.
3. Stress less, Pray more
4. Enjoy everyday. Look for the positive.
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Thinking about you, Allie. Major hugs. Many have said it, but we can't say it enough--you are worth being treated far, far better.
Katla, oh so many of the same for you and your daughter.
Joyce, sounds like Charlie's doing much better.
Next-to-last status report out this morning... letting go of the restaurant has been easy for me, a little harder on those who attached to me. Some always do--it's usually 25% love me, 25% hate me, and 50% just watch and wait, they're there for the pay, nothing else.
Half the miscreants at the restaurant were faced down by the new manager, while I calmly stood and took notes. When told inventory was not matching sales, and that we did not believe that the bar only had one cash customer all night on the night in question, the response was "How would you know that?" No protestations of innocence, nothing else to say. They quit the next day. Replaced already, and the new bartenders are doing fine.
Such fun. Not going to be involved in facing down the other half. Harder to prove on the restaurant side, they're still building the evidence.
Time for a kitten break! Squeak has Mouse in a headlock here, and my favorite suggested caption so far:
I'm not choking you, I'm HUGGING you! Sit still!
Mouse does not look terribly worried. Considering she was the runt, she has learned to beat the snot out of Squeak quite handily. They're fun to watch.
Warm regards from rainy, thundery West Texas
Lisa0 -
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Wait Megblair - you're not supposed to refer to me as wessecg. If you can't remember Cheryl, I would at least expect Carol from you
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Allison, i hope u r feeling the group's love and support. I know that getting some much needed sleep can only help. We are all pulling for you. Karen from ny0
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miriamwithcats wrote: »http://thejigsawpuzzles.com/
With a houseful of cats, I cannot do traditional jigsaws, but I do one or more of these a day. Note that you can set the number of pieces on the puzzle you choose.
Miriam, the last time I did a real jigsaw puzzle was at an RV rally with friends....you are right that doing a puzzle in a house with cats is impossible....I checked out the site. It looks greatmollywhippet wrote: »Hello again! I managed to read through the last four pages and made some notes.
Heather - I'm going to look for the White Road book you mentioned. I love to read that kind of stuff.
Sharon - My appointment with the specialist is November 10th.
CLEatMoulton, Sislee, Teresa (AZ), and crose0056 - Welcome! Tell us more about yourselves!
Joyce in SD - I'm not at my goal yet. I'm down 130 and have 30 left to go, but I think I've gotten a little too comfortable, so I've just been maintaining for the last 6 months. Since I started having tummy trouble. It's hard to know what to eat or not to eat.
LPN - Your virtual ironman sounds like fun.
Miriam - I used to love doing jigsaw puzzles on my ipad but was running out of space and had to delete them.
Wessecg - I didn't know the fitbit would count steps on horseback. That's funny.
Meg - I'm so sorry to hear that your knee went out. I hope it feels right again soon.
Sharon - I love the part about "I decided to be happy today". That's not easy to do sometimes.
Pip - your shoulder looks so much better!
Alison - I'll say it again. Tom is an *kitten* and doesn't deserve you. Stick to your guns.
I stopped at the store on my way to the studio and got stuck talking to a neighbor in the parking lot for about 45 minutes. She lives down the street from me and was telling me about their dog getting loose yesterday and running to our house. He must know that is the house where all the neighborhood dogs go for cookies. So I didn't get to work as early as I planned, thus that is my excuse for not getting anything done yet. I saw they had some miniature potted roses on sale for $3 so I bought myself a yellow one. It's so pretty. When we first moved into our house there was a miniature rose bush in the front flower bed. It lived for about 15 years and finally died. Maybe I'll put this one out there, once I've enjoyed it inside a little bit.
OK, so now I'm really going to get busy. First I have to make a to-do list, then I'll be off and running.
Have a great day!
Sylviagrandmallie wrote: »D.J.~ yea I am peeved about it to and think I will give him a piece of my mind when he gets home... let him run up on the bed and get stink all over the place have a candle burning now. and just finishing my tea. then I think I will not go see DFIL today,I feel guilty not going ..but today has been a day. might read for a little bit , then take a nap.. and then make dinner
Hey Alison,
I try to never comment on other peoples relationship troubles BC I am double divorced and though I would love to blame both solely on the fact that they had anger and violence problems..truthfully that was just the final straw in a bad marriage that I partook of. In other words I had shortcomings also that contributed, so I don't really feel worthy of giving anyone advice. That said, this is driving me NUTS. I have grown fond of all you ladies and hate to see this INJUSTICE play out without saying something. Seriously, after all the *kitten* comments he makes, the unswerving faithfulness to your FIL the indecency of not just not handling the pups predicament but vindictivly letting him hop on your bed....YOUR GOING TO COOK HIM DINNER? I'm sorry. GIRL! No way! He will never treat you with respect if you debase yourself this way. Please please accept my apologies as I fear I have stepped over the line, but my heart is breaking for you..
Mindy from Boston0 -
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Hi ladies, I enjoyed reading all of your posts. I am new here and after reading don't feel alone. I have a lot of weight to lose 50+. I can do it. Started reading the compassion diet, it is changing how I think about myself, be nice to myself which I thought that I was but really am not. It will be a process!
My employer offered a free fitbit If I walk 6000 steps a day, I accepted the challenge.
Thanks for reading and sharing! I think that we can be healthy and safe.
Rachel0 -
Katia – So sorry for your family’s loss. Thoughts, prayers, and hugs to you all!
Janetr and Pip – So glad you are both improving after your surgeries!
Have not been posting much lately because my 92-year-old is in the hospital. She has been complaining of dizziness and weakness for the past two weeks, but we’re so far unable to determine the cause. We’ve had two hospitalizations and three doctor’s office visits during this time. I just got back from the hospital a little while ago, where she was taken earlier this week by paramedics. However, it didn’t escape her notice that one of them was “a good-looking boy” so I am taking this as a positive sign.
Reading this thread is something I look forward to every day. My eating during this time has been terrible, but I am continuing to post everything daily and honestly.
Joan
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