when did this obsession for women having big butts start, and why?

jemhh

Bookworm1860 wrote: »

Astonishing amount of negativity for someone having suggested we accept ourselves as we are. And here I've been naively thinking that self-acceptance is a cornerstone of physical and mental well-being.

hamlet1222 wrote: »

My advice to any woman is just to get your body fat to a healthy % and follow a balanced and regular exercise routine - after that learn to accept yourself and be proud.

Thank you for that. I think far, far too few people embrace that philosophy.

Oh please. Stating that JLo's natural body build is inelegant does not promote self-acceptance or a philosophy of self pride. It merely suggests that the OP had an opinion that he wanted everybody to know about. To paraphrase tomatoey, who cares.

EvaQ_

honestly im happy about it !! used to get picked on in school because i had a bubble butt ..and know all the girls that tormented me about it are trying to get one

OneHundredToLose

One man's inelegant is another man's...extremely elegant. Take from it what you will, but attraction is subjective.

hamlet1222

okay, I was hoping this thread would tail off, but it seems to be out of my hands - and I have thought about asking the moderators to delete it, but it wouldn't really be fair to people who've obviously spent a lot of time reading and contributing to it - especially the Shakespeare guys response - that was a true work of art.

I just want to apologize to any women I offended with my foolish choice of words in the original post. I should never have used the word inelegant. I don't think there was anything wrong with stating an honest preference, but it shouldn't have been unsolicited and it was wrong to imply that my particular preference is something women should strive for (it is indeed none of my business) - although it's a shame people missed my last paragraph (which bookworm didn't - thank you).

I would like to point out though, that it seems fine for people to be saying how much they like big butts and the media applauds it, but how does that make skinny women feel - who no matter what they do can't get such a posterior? Had I said the opposite to what I said, would I have received equal condemnation?

misskarne

There's a difference between saying "I prefer big butts" to "your big butt is inelegant and you should change it", which is what YOU said.

mattyc772014

Are you testing us?

janejellyroll

hamlet1222 wrote: »

okay, I was hoping this thread would tail off, but it seems to be out of my hands - and I have thought about asking the moderators to delete it, but it wouldn't really be fair to people who've obviously spent a lot of time reading and contributing to it - especially the Shakespeare guys response - that was a true work of art.

I just want to apologize to any women I offended with my foolish choice of words in the original post. I should never have used the word inelegant. I don't think there was anything wrong with stating an honest preference, but it shouldn't have been unsolicited and it was wrong to imply that my particular preference is something women should strive for (it is indeed none of my business) - although it's a shame people missed my last paragraph (which bookworm didn't - thank you).

I would like to point out though, that it seems fine for people to be saying how much they like big butts and the media applauds it, but how does that make skinny women feel - who no matter what they do can't get such a posterior? Had I said the opposite to what I said, would I have received equal condemnation?

I think if you had made a post claiming that any perfectly normal kind of butt was "inelegant" you would have received the same type of response. I've got the kind of body you find displeasing and I'm not sure why you felt the need to say what you did. Honest preferences are perfectly fine (I've got them too), but when you've got to degenerate groups of people to state them, it is often going to alienate people.

3dogsrunning

hamlet1222 wrote: »

okay, I was hoping this thread would tail off, but it seems to be out of my hands - and I have thought about asking the moderators to delete it, but it wouldn't really be fair to people who've obviously spent a lot of time reading and contributing to it - especially the Shakespeare guys response - that was a true work of art.

I just want to apologize to any women I offended with my foolish choice of words in the original post. I should never have used the word inelegant. I don't think there was anything wrong with stating an honest preference, but it shouldn't have been unsolicited and it was wrong to imply that my particular preference is something women should strive for (it is indeed none of my business) - although it's a shame people missed my last paragraph (which bookworm didn't - thank you).

I would like to point out though, that it seems fine for people to be saying how much they like big butts and the media applauds it, but how does that make skinny women feel - who no matter what they do can't get such a posterior? Had I said the opposite to what I said, would I have received equal condemnation?

Yes.

It has nothing to do with the fact that bigger butts are more popular right now. There is a difference between saying "I prefer <insert body type>" and "<insert body type> is inelegant". Your post went past expressing your personal preference in a body type and into insulting another. I doubt many would object if you had just stated that you prefer a certain body type.

No one missed your last paragraph. To me, that was probably the tipping point. I know it was meant to be a positive thing but, to me, if came off condescending, especially in the context of the rest of the post.

emhunter

@hamlet1222 First, thank you for your apology. It is rare that people apologize around here. So I appreciate it.

I don't offend easily, but as a woman with a big old natural booty despite how healthy or fit I am, I did take offense to your original post. As many others stated, it wasn't your preference that got me, but it was the implication that I can't be a healthy body weight or person if I naturally have one. When I lose weight she is the last to go. And even when she gets smaller she is still disproportionately larger than the rest of my body. I can't change my genetics.

Again, I don't think anyone was offended that you simply stated a preference and you are in fact entitled to that preference. It doesn't bother me a bit that some men want a woman with a smaller bottom. As you stated above, it was the implication that we should strive for that body.

I saw that you stated everyone should embrace their appearance but it did not seem to go along with the rest of what you were saying so it came across as disingenuous and a total contradiction.

To answer your questions, I don't think women that don't have a big butt are offended that people make songs about liking butts or that women with them are deemed beautiful. It does not mean that those that do not have a big bottom are not beautiful too. The reason it is being shouted from the roof top now is because, for a period, mainstream America, frowned on women that were more round on the bottom. These songs and the new booty craze is just a celebration of America embracing that body type again. That is not saying that you should get surgery to be something you aren't.

Had you said the opposite-meaning you think women that have small butts are inelegant would I personally have been offended. No. But would I have thought it was jetky and rude? Yes. Not sure if I would have had made the time to respond to it. Would others have responded and been offended? Yes. So overall, I think it's never a good idea, nice, necessary, or accepted to state a preference and simultaneously insult others.

I hope I have not come across as demeaning towards you. I'm hoping to answer your questions and express my point of view in the most respectful way possible.

KLB6886

In your culture Cindy Crawford and Pam Anderson were the standard but not in mine. Large posteriors have always been in fashion in my culture. Don't judge everyone by your standard of beauty.

ButBurgersAreDelicious

brower47 wrote: »

hamlet1222 wrote: »

I see a lot of questions from women wanting to get their posteriors bigger, getting advice on doing squats etc, and it leaves me wondering when did this obsession start? 20 years ago we had the likes of Cindy Crawford and Pamela Anderson, and none of them had disproportionately large backsides.

Personally I'm not a fan of the J-Lo look, it just seems a bit inelegant to me, Eva Longoria has a much more elegant physique. My advice to any woman is just to get your body fat to a healthy % and follow a balanced and regular exercise routine - after that learn to accept yourself and be proud. And that goes for guys too - no one knew what a 'six pack' was before the 90s.

My advice to you, stop giving unsolicited advice to women about their personal physique desires. But thanks for randomly telling the forums what your personal preference is for women's backsides.

I like this a lot.

hamlet1222

thanks last few posters you have made some great points. I was turning the thing around in my head and imagining if a woman had posted that skinny guys were inelegant (the thing I've always battled with personally), I wouldn't like it either (if they'd only said they liked bodybuilders I wouldn't have batted an eyelid).

jgnatca

http://www.ibtimes.com/fat-land-western-standards-beauty-clash-west-african-notions-843573

jgnatca

http://polygrafi.com/2013/05/14/damn-shes-hot-standards-of-beauty-in-a-changing-world/

kk_inprogress

hamlet1222 wrote: »

thanks last few posters you have made some great points. I was turning the thing around in my head and imagining if a woman had posted that skinny guys were inelegant (the thing I've always battled with personally), I wouldn't like it either (if they'd only said they liked bodybuilders I wouldn't have batted an eyelid).

I'm impressed by this post. It takes a strong person to admit that something they said may not have been appropriate and to put themselves in another's shoes.

I didn't take your initial post all that seriously, as demonstrated by my memes throughout the thread, but I've been following and I appreciate that you took the time to come back and apologize to people that were offended.

Cheers.

lisalsd1

Having always had a big butt myself, I agree that it's a "cultural thing." I think that it's finally okay for white men to admit that they also like big butts.

lisalsd1

hamlet1222 wrote: »

Okay, this has kind of gone off topic, and I'm horrified that this thread has started taking a racial tone.

I've already received 6 flags from people for my initial post apparently being abusive. I don't see how politely stating a personal preference in an example (a preference that is opposed to the popular norm of bigger is better) can be seen as abusive, but never mind.

Thanks to all those who gave a reasoned answer - I think the point about social trends constantly evolving and repeating is a great one.

Wait, you weren't expecting race to factor into this? It's a factor; "beauty" is relative to the culture.

emhunter

@lisalsd1 I agree it's a cultural thing! I think you're right on. But you know, sometimes, if you've only been exposed to one side you innocently don't see the other. I think he's the only person I've ever seen apologize on here. Call me a wuss...but I believe him and forgive him

jgnatca

I would say North American culture is becoming more well-rounded.