Why request friends if you're not going to interact?

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  • emhunter
    emhunter Posts: 1,212 Member
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    natboosh69 wrote: »
    I have to admit I'm a lurker. I accept all friend requests and I do have a quick scan through the news feed but never comment on things. I'm not being rude, I just genuinely don't have anything to say to statuses like 'Caved and had some chicken wings today' or 'Smashing it in the gym!'. I also find it pointless commenting on a post to say well done when there's already 20 'well dones' from other posters.

    I always appreciate it if people post words of support or encouragement, but they make no difference to my success or motivation.

    However I still accept all friend requests because why not? I don't have any personal info except my weight so makes no difference to me. I also never respond to PM's either unless I am specifically asked a question.

    This as well as another post I agreed with. Some people make this a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I do nuke people who end up being MLM shills, though.

    I don't think people make it bigger than need to be. Having different approaches to how you utilize mfp is valid especially if they are not forcing those beliefs on others. Those that don't care about communication with friends should and will find others that feel the same way. Those that do care about interaction will find those friends.
  • emhunter
    emhunter Posts: 1,212 Member
    edited November 2015
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    How do you keep track who comments on which statuses? Do you keep a spreadsheet?
    Does clicking *like* count?


    Catching up to find out!


    I notice who comments because I have a small number of friends. Whenever I find that I have a "friend" that never responds to me or others or never comments on posts, then I delete. There is no magic number that I use to determine if they are interactive enough, just those that are completely mute get the boot.
  • emhunter
    emhunter Posts: 1,212 Member
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    I usually only reply or like stuff that's on the first page. I don't usually click the "see more" option.

    I don't really send out friend requests anymore


    The "show more" option is such a pain. I hate clicking it because it's so slow to load on my phone. And when you comment on a post after that show more option, then your screen resets back to the first few posts and you have to click the "show more" option again to see the posts at the bottom of the feed again. If I wasn't so anal on commenting on all posts I'd do as you do too.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    I have too many people on the list to keep up with, so I quit trying. There really are a handful of people whose stuff I like to see and I miss it because the "feed" or whatever it's called is cluttered with stuff I don't want to see.

    It just seems rude to not accept requests, so I accept them all and never interact. I post almost nothing, ever. It's not the way I want it. I'd like a smaller list of people that I do interact with.

    I'm always saying, "One of these days, I'm going to go on a deleting spree!" but I never do. Maybe that time is near. Reading this makes me think I really should.
    It's not rude... I have a pretty big FL so I accept here and there but not much anymore unless we have had a great connection in the forum or through a mutuals friends wall.

    Otherwise I would have 1000 friends... Just due to length of time I've been here!
  • leapfrogs
    leapfrogs Posts: 8 Member
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    Hi there! I'm totally doing this alone and I don't have 1 friend to interact with on here....my only contact is my MIL & her account is inactive until the new year. I log in daily and I will totally support and encouragement you if you'd like to connect. I think a "get healthy" buddy would be beneficial. Hope you have a great day!!

  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    I'm always saying, "One of these days, I'm going to go on a deleting spree!" but I never do. Maybe that time is near. Reading this makes me think I really should.

    Yep, I did it last year and haven't looked back. I'm friend-free and happy to be. I chat with whoever I want on the main forums and open groups and that's enough for me. I liked almost all my friends when I kept a list but there were a few lurkers who were completely silent and that did creep me out a bit.

    Mostly it was me who was the inactive friend though. I tried to keep up with the woo hoos!, and the way to gos!, and the excellent progress! and the congratulations! and the that looks so yummy! narratives but I got tired and could no longer keep up with that. Also I found it stressful.

    After awhile I just didn't want to see a hundred daily updates of people who completed their diary for the umpteenth time, who logged in for the 57th consecutive day, who burned 800 calories on the eliptical or who burned 5 calories farting into a sofa cushion while posting stupid zombie references from gory, violent TV shows I never watch.

    I also didn't understand only wanting to converse on a "wall" or a "feed" with the belief that it is somehow an exclusive, members only club - invisible to the rest of the site, since I don't think any website conversations are really private anyway.

    Then again, I don't have a Facebook account or any other social media account- which I think is where the friend list idea was copied from anyway...

    Bottom line is, who are these online friends anyway? Anonymous avatars who appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. And nothing more than words on a screen, ultimately. I like to keep that reality check.

    It might be that way for you, but it's not that way for everyone. I have made some lifelong friends here that have evolved into non screen interaction... Like tough mudders, and Sunday brunch. (Okok brunch is in the werks)
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    I agree. And additionally, I wonder why someone with 174 friends on MFP is still adding more. :o

    Why? Just because you have a preference doesn't mean someone else feels the same way.

  • Sashysash2806
    Sashysash2806 Posts: 18 Member
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    So true could not have said it better myself!!!!
  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member
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    Well I can say I interact with my FL and have grown familiar with quite a few of them over the years BUT I also have commitments outside of the feed, as do my friends. If someone writes something on my wall or messages me I respond but the majority of my FL is self sufficient and long time members so most of us don't really bother with the superfluous "WTG! Good job!" etc on what has become habitual; such as logging streaks or finishing diaries. We tend to support each other when it comes to more personal tribulations or if we are seeking advice be it regarding lifting, nutrition etc. More often than not we are there for each other when we need it. I like low maintenance friends...not unlike real life.

    Different strokes for different folks.
  • giantrobot_powerlifting
    giantrobot_powerlifting Posts: 2,598 Member
    edited November 2015
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    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.
  • kk_inprogress
    kk_inprogress Posts: 3,077 Member
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    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.

    If I friend request you without a message, you better accept without talking about me on your wall first with the wrong freaking name.

    Jus' sayin'
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I don't have time to put a bunch of 'likes' or support messages on people's posts on my feed. I don't necessarily know when they closed their diary if they are happy with the calorie count. It's possible they might be bulking and calorie count was under, liking that would not make sense.
    I have a few close friends I will post messages back and forth with regularly, but everyone else, I don't worry about. My diary is open if they'd like to look at it, and my posts are there for them to read.
    I accept very few friend requests, and I delete friends who are inactive longer than 8 days.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,930 Member
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    emhunter wrote: »
    If I wasn't so anal on commenting on all posts I'd do as you do too.

    You comment on ALL the posts?

  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    How do you keep track who comments on which statuses? Do you keep a spreadsheet?
    Does clicking *like* count?


    Catching up to find out!

    I use folders in my email for each friend to put each email mfp sends me when they comment or reply. Then I add them up at the end of the week. I email the results to Santa.

    Which list am I on?
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    kkenseth wrote: »
    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.

    So you like to give as well as receive.

    Awww yeah. Imma have to send some FR's out now.

    tumblr_myn9bmGvAY1s4ov53o1_400.gif

    I can haz Moscato?

    *pats the couch next to her*

    I'll even make some brownies!
  • kk_inprogress
    kk_inprogress Posts: 3,077 Member
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    kkenseth wrote: »
    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.

    So you like to give as well as receive.

    Awww yeah. Imma have to send some FR's out now.

    tumblr_myn9bmGvAY1s4ov53o1_400.gif

    I can haz Moscato?

    *pats the couch next to her*

    I'll even make some brownies!

    [...something about straining the butter]

    Yes please
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    Options
    kkenseth wrote: »
    kkenseth wrote: »
    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.

    So you like to give as well as receive.

    Awww yeah. Imma have to send some FR's out now.

    tumblr_myn9bmGvAY1s4ov53o1_400.gif

    I can haz Moscato?

    *pats the couch next to her*

    I'll even make some brownies!

    [...something about straining the butter]

    Yes please

    nph-unicorn.gif
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Options
    kkenseth wrote: »
    kkenseth wrote: »
    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.

    So you like to give as well as receive.

    Awww yeah. Imma have to send some FR's out now.

    tumblr_myn9bmGvAY1s4ov53o1_400.gif

    I can haz Moscato?

    *pats the couch next to her*

    I'll even make some brownies!

    [...something about straining the butter]

    Yes please

    Brownies? Yes puhleez...
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Options
    kkenseth wrote: »
    kkenseth wrote: »
    Insofar as size of FL and whether I delete a contact or not, If I accept your messageless FR and then go out of my to way to introduce myself to you on your wall, you better dang well reciprocate. Clicking the stupid like button is meaningless.

    So you like to give as well as receive.

    Awww yeah. Imma have to send some FR's out now.

    tumblr_myn9bmGvAY1s4ov53o1_400.gif

    I can haz Moscato?

    *pats the couch next to her*

    I'll even make some brownies!

    [...something about straining the butter]

    Yes please

    nph-unicorn.gif

    NPH on a unicorn!? Poggle you're the best...