WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2015

margaretturk

Irish Terri LOL

Rori prayers for DH in the time of healing.

DJ enjoyed your comment. Today sneet (mix of snow and sleet) is failing from the skies.

Alison sounds like she is hurting and is lashing out. I know she is your daughter so her hook can be powerful. Just because you see the hook does not mean you have to bite. How does being upset all day help either one of you. Sending healing thoughts to surround both you and DD.

If it were me I would not respond to her for three days. I would give myself the gift to calm down first. I learned this from Mark Twain. When he was angry or upset he would give himself three days to cool off and gain perspective. I unfortunately do not always follow my own advice but when I do it helps.

I also think Irish Terri's poster helps too!

Margaret

grandmallie

Margaret you are right... I will be leaving for the Cape early tomorrow morning, and I wont be talking to her anytime to soon...I had a good cry and am over it... will enjoy the rest of the day or at least put on a good front..
My DB just called and said he might not be coming because he just got a case of vomitting and doesnt know what happened.. Well I have a good guess he is having a pancreatitis attack... when he sneaks alcohol ,it does eventually catch up, he has been hospitalized twice for it.. cant worry about what I cant change..
just finished my second load of laundry and have the table sat.. will take the boys for a walk...

oceanmelody

Alison, I am sending hugs your way. Mothering an adult child with problems is heartbreaking, especially when she still has lots of growing up to do. It really is not your fault!
Betty

janetr7476

grandmallie wrote: »

I am in tears, she wrote me another message that was worse than the first..saying she never thought of me as a caring mother, that dad did everything for her, that all I did was care about Tom and taking care of him, and never took them on vacation and she just went on and on.. I am soooo hurt right now, and it will be very hard for me to get through the day.. I will pull it off, but not happily, she just had Tal skype with me,but Tal had to wear headphones so Tracy didnt have to hear me.. hurtful and mean.

Alison - I am so sorry. But keep in mind (and this from personal experience with my 22 year old DGS) addicts BLAME everyone and every thing else for their situation. I know how hurt you must be, but you know in your heart how much you love her and did what you thot was in her best interest at the time. Keep your head up, repeat positive affirmations to yourself and KNOW she is lashing out to hurt you because that is so much easier for her than searching her heart and owning her own bad choices. Much love and prayers for you to find peace in the days to come.

Janetr OKC

GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS

OK, if you say you thought about it (and could have said more); then, you did the right thing by not posting on FB anymore than you said. Just watch out; and you need to remember to 'stop' at red lights. Bicyclist most time think that a stop sign or a traffic light is a 'yield' sign and it isn't; one they cross that and get hit by a car it becomes 'mitigating' circumstances as to whom gets the ticket. It's not necessary something that needs to be seen to show that the bicyclist ran the stop sign or the traffic light; they have to follow the same rules as vehicles. I can't tell you the times that I have seen bicyclist running red lights and stop signs because they have a speed going and don't want to slow it down. Just be safe and follow the same rules that vehicles have to follow.

grandmallie

Thanks for all the love.. I am sure you have all had some type of hurt like this...
It is truly sad that at almost 27 yrs old that she has not found her groove yet, her inner peace..feel bad that she is trying to be so cruel and vengeful.. I am sure I was bad,but after I turned 19 sorta came into my own,and owned up to the bad I did and tried to be there very best person I could be..
life throws you curveballs sometimes ~ you just gotta roll

cityjaneLondon

Cooking a huge chilli today. Should be enough for four days, so will freeze the rest. We like it over roasted butternut squash. Plus green beans tonight. A small blob of half fat creme fraiche and it's coming in at 440 for a HUGE plateful.
I peel my butternut squash with an OXO Good grips Y shaped peeler. Easy. Just drag it downwards. The peeler is very sharp. Available from Amazon.

Done nearly all my Christmas shopping. I joined Amazon Prime for a month's free trial and cancelled it straight away. It finishes on Saturday. Had loads of parcels arriving today including wrapping paper, ribbons, tags and sellotape. My son's aged bourbon whiskey. Just DH 's tree presents to get, which I will buy in France and DDIL 's stud earrings. Haven't been able to get much sense out of her as to what style she wants. I have sent a couple of suggestions, but she hasn't replied. I am very uncomfortable with buying aesthetic objects unless I am sure of their taste. Might be getting those in France too as I'm running out of time now.

Thinking of you all at your Thanksgiving. Love to all.

Heather UK

nccarolb

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm enjoying my peace and quiet this morning then going to my co-worker's house for a meal. The meet up with the guy that I was supposed to have last weekend is re-scheduled for tonight.

Sharon - I don't know what normal is -- I can only tell you what it is not. LOL I told a friend that, unless he is a 400 lb gargoyle, we should at least be friends.

DJ - Thank you for the affirmation that I should do what feels right for me today. I've realized that the "expectations" that come with the holidays make me incredibly anxious. Probably the reason I really don't like this time of year.

Michele - Have you thought about using either felt or another material and doing appliqué designs on a tree skirt? I made lots of Christmas stockings for my kids using that method. I hand stitched them, but you could use a machine.

Rori - I'm so sorry that the margins were not clean. Hope the second procedure does the trick!

DeeDee and Meg - So glad to see you!

Pip - I know how you felt when you almost fell! I've had a few panicked moments like that over the past several months. Good for you for not letting fear rule your life! I'm aspiring to that.

I don't think I mentioned that every time I see a new PT person that I find out about a different portion of my surgery. The one treating me now told me there was a third part of the surgery that I hadn't known about that would probably mean I would never have full range of motion again. Not fun to hear and kinda wish she hadn't said anything about it at this point.

I think I'll go take a walk before my big dinner...

Carol in beautiful NC

mikesmom1983

Just wanted to pop in quickly to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and to say I am blessed to have found all of you. I may not post much, but I follow every day and you are all in my thoughts and prayers. I have gotten support and encouragement that has been tremulously helpful in this next phase of my life. Because of your support, since last Thanksgiving I am 27 lbs. lighter, 4 sizes smaller, off all meds and I have gained confidence I never knew I had. I feel better than when I was in my 40's and apparently look better too from what people tell me.

To those of you who are new here, stick to it. The weight didn't come on overnight so don't expect it to come off overnight. I found it is establishing good habits one at a time and ones that you can stick with for a lifetime. I hated exercise and now get up at 5:15 every weekday morning to exercise. I exercise on the weekends also but sleep in. Logging is essential and move as much as you can to the best of your ability. But most of all, love yourself.

Gotta go lift some weights before I help my daughter in law with dinner. She is the chef in charge today and it is nice to hand over the reins. I smell bacon.....oh my!

Love to all,
Chris in MA where it is 55 F and a lovely day for a walk

Elaine352962

You have done fantastically well. I hope that I will also achieve results, I don't mind small ones as long as they get me to my goal. You are a great inspiration.

Want2bSlimmer

Thought for the day ...

barbiecat

Alison, Is anything she says actually true? If not, ignore it. How does she send you messages? Is it possible to just not read them? Don't open them, throw them out, delete them?

cityjaneLondon

Barbie - my parents were criminally bad parents, but I did inherit and learn some good characteristics from them.

Mother - self belief, valuing women, women friendships, love of musicals, theatre and film, ability to keep going, love of travel, love of discovering new things and places, believing myself attractive to men, positive affirmations about self confidence and much more.

Father - intellectual confidence, artistic and writing abilities, independence of thought, a questioner nature, not being afraid to be different, love of my own company, cooking and much more.

So it wasn't all bad!!! :laugh:

Heather UK

GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS

Grandmalli and Janetr7476 - My DDnL#1 always puts her mouth into Motion before she puts her mind in gear and says a lot of hurtful things; and does so by posting on FB as well. I'm no longer on FB, haven't been for 2 years. She contacted DDnL#2 (many texts and she did not respond to any) mainly because she was out at the ''lake home" and she did not receive it until she went to town to work; in the meantime, DDnL#1 wrote a 'nasty' email to DYS (DDnL#2's husband) and said she'd NEVER EVER write them or call them (because DDnL#2 had not had the decently to answer her texts). I'm very surprised that she had the 'gonads' to get DYS involved; he called his DB and asked him 'what the HELL was wrong with DDnL#1'? Response was 'she's been having a rough time, job she hates, jobs she's applied for falling through, people saying things about her weight - she knows she is heavy but doesn't have the will power or discipline to even try to get it off; he also sent the texts to his DB and told him 'we don't get good reception out at our house'. In the meantime DDnL#2 had written an response (but waited for DYS to read it before sending it saying 'she had not been in the family long enough to get into any squabbles and to NEVER send her an email or text like that'. Then DDnL#1 wrote me and dredged up 16 years worth of not feeling we 'loved' them (DOS and her) as much as we 'loved' DYS and DDnL#2). I did not bother to answer it because I am tired of her always wanting to be the 'victim'. Sort of like, 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me ... I'm going to eat some worms'. She is immature and we have talked about this several times and she also posted on FB that 'if I ever wanted to get rid of her she'd (me) take a big stick and run her off'. I wanted to tell her that negativity is a 'self-full filling prophecy' and I had been walking in the woods with my hands in my pockets or tied behind my back; but, I did not do it; just thought it. Sent it along with my journal to him, showing him why she is one of my 'stressors'. It's been hard to explain it to him; maybe if he reads it, he'll have some suggestions on 'how to handle it' before allowing it to get sick again.

As for staying with some with mental issues, or when someone beats you, or having affairs is sometimes reasons to leave. I'd do the same. When I was diagnosed with having bipolar disorder I felt like I was 'damaged goods' and that husband would never love me again. So I left him for 3 month with the boys, thinking all would be better if I was not around him or the boys when I was having an 'episode'. I've had several of them (usually because the medication I am taking needed to be 'tweaked' or I was 'physically ill) and after I moved back home with him wanting me to, he has been the loving husband that I fell in love with and walked me though each episode and I could not have done it alone. The boys knew what happen(s -ed) and they also helped me through them. Over the last nearly 25 years I have had 'family support' even though I've had 7 hospitalizations. Five of them back-to-back after staying in hospital and being released after 10 days when my mediations still had not been 'tweaked'. First time and the last time - I was in the hospital for 3 weeks each time each. First time when I got diagnosed. And both of them, I stayed long enough to have all my medications 'tweaked' because one has an affect on the others. Different MD's (first one I was assigned to, hated him, until I was released and ended up 'loving him') We got to the point that we could go so far as telling jokes - the raunchier the better. I had told him that 'he was like a #*T salesman with a mouthful of samples'. While in the hospital and he would not let me have a pass to go out to eat on our anniversary. He had Narcolepsy and Parkinson's Disease; but, ultimately had to stop seeing patients because he had cancer. Second one I had been going to since my 1st one had died; and hated him - did not have hospital privileges and was assigned to 2 more during my hospitals that were back-to-back (5x). Took the 3rd one before Composite State Board of Medical Examiners and made her lose her job after her contract with hospital was finished. For 'failure of care', medical malpractice/malfeasance, and failure to release any of my medical record to other MDs that I go to. She even had a note attached to the file, that none of them were to be released to me. After taking her before the CSBofME - I got them; and there were so many things in it that were totally untrue; but, she had dictated and had had my 'discharge summary' 2 days before she moved me. I was handcuffed and shackled and pinned to the floor. I had no idea where I was going; but, when I told her, after asking her a question as she sat at a desk, that common courtesy meant that she should at least turn around and look at me when I talked to her. Her shoulders dropped, and she wheeled around and said, "I'll fix you!" In a tone that I knew she had more control over me than anybody did. I had asked to be released to my DOS as I knew he would have treated me much better. My 2nd representative BF was told that evening when she came that they had no patient by my name and the code she was using was not a valid one. She called my DOS who gave her the same code. They were taking turns coming to see me. She finally went back and told them that 'if' she had to go to the CEO of the hospital, heads were going to roll ... how could they lose a patient on a locked floor'? She was let in and they again told her the same story; and one of the nurses was getting on the nurses' elevator and whispered to her where she had sent me. I ended up staying there a couple of weeks; but, when the assigned MD saw me, he quickly realized that I had been sent to the wrong place. I got accused of stealing, got assaulted a couple of times, had things stolen from me, and I had to give up my room and sleep out in the recreation room, so I could not go to bed until 'lights out'; and that was usually an hour later than I wanted to pull in my bed and get in it.

I think it is much harder for a man and his family when he is the primary or sole breadwinner. The few I have known usually stopped their meds as soon as they started feeling better. I don't and won't self-medicate; but, I do like to be 'one step towards being manic'. I don't like the feeling of being depressed, although I have only been depressed a couple of times in my life. Being 'normal' or 'on the fence' isn't a good feeling for me ... seems like my moods swing too much when I get there. My GP found this PsycheMD I go to now; but, he is nearly 200 miles away (about the only way to get out from under our city's main hospital's area. It serves about 20 counties. I had already been in a hospital in Columbus ... and wasn't getting any better. Even there I got mistreated. The only place I did not get mistreated was the last place that my current MD sent me to. He gave me his cell phone number and told me that I could call him any time I needed to. But, thankfully I have not needed to. My last hospitalization was over 3 years ago; and, he can usually Rx something that will reverse a manic phrase. I'll be honest, I don't think I could live with a man who has my same condition. But, if my husband got to the point that he could not take care of himself - such as 'if' he got Alzheimer's Disease I'd still be beside him. But, that is just me. Of course, if he got bad enough I'd not hesitate to put him in a home near me.

pipcd34

stat for the day:
spin at gym- 104min, 87ar, 89aw, 9-12g, 145ahr, 166mhr 23.8mi = 986c

mollywhippet

Happy Thanksgiving! It's a windy, blustery day here at the lake but the temperature is 67 degrees, so it could be worse. In fact, three hours away in Wichita it's only 37 degrees, and the cold front is coming this way. Tomorrow our high is only supposed to be 34. And two to four inches of rain is predicted too, so we have to enjoy it while we can. We already took the dogs walking across the dam and I let Spot play in the water at the boat ramp for a while. He thought he could catch a Canada goose, but it just laughed at him.

I'm making a pork roast with cranberries in the crock pot for our dinner tonight and the smell is driving me insane!

So, I'm taking it easy today, listening to an audiobook while hubby is upstairs in his office grading papers. It's very peaceful until the dogs see a squirrel. Even that is fun to watch.

I hope you are all having a wonderful day.

Sylvia

barbiecat

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

Barbie - my parents were criminally bad parents, but I did inherit and learn some good characteristics from them.

Mother - self belief, valuing women, women friendships, love of musicals, theatre and film, ability to keep going, love of travel, love of discovering new things and places, believing myself attractive to men, positive affirmations about self confidence and much more.

Father - intellectual confidence, artistic and writing abilities, independence of thought, a questioner nature, not being afraid to be different, love of my own company, cooking and much more.

So it wasn't all bad!!! :laugh:

Heather UK

Heather, this is an amazing example of gratitude and positive thinking and making the best of a bad situation and some other great spiritual qualities that I can't think of right now

pipcd34

GRITSandSLUTS wrote: »

OK, if you say you thought about it (and could have said more); then, you did the right thing by not posting on FB anymore than you said. Just watch out; and you need to remember to 'stop' at red lights. Bicyclist most time think that a stop sign or a traffic light is a 'yield' sign and it isn't; one they cross that and get hit by a car it becomes 'mitigating' circumstances as to whom gets the ticket. It's not necessary something that needs to be seen to show that the bicyclist ran the stop sign or the traffic light; they have to follow the same rules as vehicles. I can't tell you the times that I have seen bicyclist running red lights and stop signs because they have a speed going and don't want to slow it down. Just be safe and follow the same rules that vehicles have to follow.

if he would have replied to my post, trust me, i would have added to it and not felt bad about it.

i know what i'm supposed to do and how i'm supposed to ride as a bicyclists. don't compare me to other riders if you haven't seen me ride. i've been doing this enough years now to know the rules of the road and what i should do when i come to a stop sign. i don't know how to ride OTHER than being safe and i KNOW that i am to follow the rules of the road like a car, i'm a big girl, i think i got this riding down after all these years.

janemartin02

happy thanksgiving to all my friends

Vickil57

Happy Thanksgiving to those of us celebrating today. It was sleeting when I came to work at 5:30 this morning and is turning to snow now. I work until 4:30 this afternoon so just going to watch it come down. Newspaper is FULL of all the shopping ads for tonight and tomorrow. I think it is terrible to open this evening. Don't plan to go and since I am off tomorrow going to watch several of the DGC so their parents can go.

DS from Iowa called his dad yesterday and they have tickets to the Kansas City, Packers game Sunday and want DH to go with them. So today they are trying to get plans settle to meet at Nebraska City on Saturday. I work the weekend so not upset about not going. Sounds like it will be cold, but they will have fun as niether on of them has ever been to a game like that before.

When I got home last evening UPS had delivered the christmas gifts I ordered. They sure got here fast. So DH and I unpacked them to check them out. They sent one thing I did not order and then did not send a gift I ordered for one of the DGS. So decided we will donate the one and I called and reordered the other one. Also I realized I forgot one DGS so got that ordered.

Sylvia--HUGS!! Those kids are so lucky to have you caring about them. Love the outhouse pictures. Looks like a lot of fun. Glad to hear DGD like zumba. Once again I have to say those children are so lucky to have you in their lives.

Kim--Proud of you for keeping your commitment and hope you and mom have a nice dinner and visit. How speical.

Mia--I am so glad it wasn't any worse. Please be careful.

Kim--When DH lost his fitbit I wrote the company and asked if I could maybe get a discount. Well they asked his account name and after they checked and saw there was no activity they sent a replacement free. I was surprised and very happy. They have great customer service.

Katiebug--Sorry you are having a tough time. I hope you are better soon, missed your posts.
Today would of been my younger sister's 57th birthday. She has been gone 10 years and I still miss her and sad about what we are missing together.

Lillian--Keeping your mom and you in my prayers.

Janetr--Glad to hear the surgery went well. It is hard to see those we love get older. I pray you have a safe trip home tomorrow. Lots of accidents around here to day.

Meg--Missed you. Hope you are staying warm and safe. Sounds like you are getting the same as we are. Sure glad I only live about 5-6 blocks from work so don't have far to go.

Heather--Sounds like you had a very nice trip and time with family. Glad it all worked out.

DeeDee-- Have missed you. I thank God for all you ladies everyday and the positive difference you are making in my life.

rori--Sorry the news was not better, but they are staying on top of it and praying better news next week. I so admire your attiude.

Allison--Sorry your daughter wants to blame you. I have several sibling that blame my parents for things that happened after their divorce. I like to believe they did the best they could with what they knew at the time. And like I tell my kids I did the best I could and once you turn 18 and get out into the REAL world the choices you make are your choices. Can't keep blaming the parents for things they do as an adult.

Barbie--I like the idea of remembering the positive things my parents taught me. Let go of the bad, it can not be changed only learned from.

Well I am caught up reading and do think this post is long enough. Stay safe and warm ladies. Remember we are not in this alone. take it One Day at a Time.

Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE