WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2016
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Sylvia (((Hugs)))
Dance of Anger Up and Down the Generations chapter:
This chapter starts with the woman blaming, instructing, psychoanalyzing... her relationship with her father. Katy said nothing about herself. This is a common reaction when angry.
Feeling angry is neither right not wrong. It just alerts us to pay attention. Anger deserves respect and consideration for its message. I observed that with a student today. He as in the time out chair from something that happened with another teacher. I said using my "I". I didn't like see him missing out on his learning. He then admitted he was mad. I asked him why he was mad. He didn't really give me an answer. He did however rejoin his group to learn. NSV. I respected his right to feel angry. Next step is to do that for myself.
In this chapter the woman was trying to recognize and clarify her own limits. She felt her father was making her feel guilty. I like the author's response to that..."Another person cannot make us feel guilty they can only try."
I might wish someone will come in and solve my problems for me. Only I can learn to manage my own feelings and take responsibility for them i.e. I am my best care taker. A friend once told me it like thinking of your body like your home. Your the only one living in it and it is up to you to make it the best place possible for yourself.
In this chapter the woman did start gathering data in how others handled the same problem she had with her father within her own family. When she calmly shared an emotional issue it opened the door for others to share their stories in how they handled a problem. Doing this process helped this woman lower her anxiety and gave her problem clarity and a different perspective. Without this knowledge repeating family patterns or rebelling against them is common. (instead increasing self awareness by sharing within your family)
She was able to start directly facing an issue rather that reacting to the issue. Having false starts and counter moves by the other person is normal. i.e. it was and still is a process. The pattern started to change and problem solving of how to help her father began to take shape.
She learned to ask her self what am I responsible for and what am I not? She worked towards finding a balance while she ideally stayed connected to the relationship. Not always easy or possible. Sometimes the relationship does end. In this story her relationship with her father improved. :happy:
Favorite quote at the moment:
Rather than waiting for the storm to pass: I want to learn to dance in the rain.
Margaret
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annr you're such a gaggler0
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Carol, I use Pine Sol, but you do have to rinse it sometimes to get the sticky off. I love that it kills germs- with dogs and cats the floor is so germy. AND it doesn't ruin your clothes with white spots like bleach does. I cannot tell you how many shirts I have ruined from bleach splashing OR leaning in to the washer to get clothes out and leaning against the bleach dispenser.0
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Love the loom! Been reading up on weaving of late. Love PineSol, too.;)0
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Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .
Good Afternoon Ladies,
Campinggirl, welcome. This is a great place for support and information. Some have been here more than 4 years, some a year or two and some a short time. We welcome all and like to talk about everything because everything affects our weight and our healthy journey. Please tell us about yourself to help us get to know you. Also we ask that you sign each post with the name you want to be called and a location, general or specific.
Souix, I’m still impressed about the quilts. You go girl.
Chris, so happy your DGD made such a recovery. Glad you are getting away. Please have a good time!!!
Sylvia, so good to hear from you. I know it’s hard to type but we sure appreciate it. I’m glad you are seeing improvement so soon. Just keep up the good work and you’ll be back in rare form in no time. (((((Hugs)))))
Nancy, welcome. This is a great group for support so come often. Many of our ladies have reached their goals and stay with us just for maintenance. I hope you will consider that. Please sign your posts with the name you want to be called and a location, general or specific.
Karen, I was thinking that you had just learned how to use the bold button? Lol
Iwischer2014 and bcmorris, welcome to you both. Come often and join right in for great support. Also will ask that each of you sign your posts with the name you want to be called. Good luck.
Heather, sorry you are having connection problems. That can be so frustrating!!!
Patsy, welcome to you as well!! I hope you will share pictures of what you weave. The loom is really neat! And as you know, age is just a number and you and I just started before most of these chicks. I was Type II Diabetic when I started MFP but have been off my meds for about 9 months and blood sugar is doing great, so you can do this.
Allie, glad you will get to go to N’ville. And you are right about Tom and (boo freakin hoo).
Miriam, that is a wonderful quilt! When I first saw the picture I thought you were going to say you made it. I guess you like it because of the cats? I do think you should make one. It’s just too cool
Joyce, I understand what you are saying about being strange to go shopping by yourself. We do get in our routines and it feels weird when they are changed. Just enjoy the peace and quiet. (((Hugs)))
Margaret, I love your favorite quote. Thank you for sharing it.
to any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.
On GMA this morning they did a piece about germs at gyms. There are more germs on gym equipment that on a toilet seat. So remember to use the things they have to clean off the equipment and places you place your hands. I try so hard to not put my hands to my face but I know I do sometimes. I went to line dance today but it was a joint class with the more advanced dancers. I was a little embarrassed on a couple of dances that I had no idea what they were doing. Oh well?? They don’t care and I’ll get over it. Sending ((((Hugs)))) to all that want them and
good thoughts for all of you and wishing you each a healthy and happy day.
Words I live by:
Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
and
Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
I Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC
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Good Thursday. This is my first of two long days 6-6.
Sioux--Vent all you want, that is what we are here for. I had one of those requests and just deleted it. Sounds like your quilt group is busy. For a very good reason.
Yvonne--I would like to know what the "polka worship service" is also.
Katiebug--I am with you, I would not want my stuff put out there for everyone to see.
Sylvia--Glad you are feeling better.
Heather--Pray you get the phone and internet fixed soon.
Barbie--Glad you figured out your steps. The only program I am following about drinking is just not having one taste. If I could do that with food I would be skinny. A lots of prayers also. I did accept the job and pray I can do it well and mend a lot of things that have gotten messed up the last 10 months.
Meg--Been thinking about you and hope the new PT person can help. Sorry to hear Benny is not doing well. It's so hard as they can not tell us what is wrong and where they hurt.
Lenora--Sounds like a scary afternoon, do hope you feel better soon. Please take care of yourself.
claremaigheo--Sorry to hear of your loss. One day at a time. Come often.
Beth--Hope things look up for you soon. Sending hugs and prayers.
Chris--Hope you enjoy your weekend away and get the rest and all you need. Hugs and prayers.
Allison--So proud of you for taking care of yourself first. You can do this and are more then worth it.
Well not a lot of news here so will type to you later.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE0 -
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nb1959 (Sioux, I think?) - I enjoy fostering these guys so much! When I first started it was easier because I was getting almost all track retirees and they were a little steadier and more mature. Lately I've been getting young dogs who washed out of training or never even made it that far, and they are just silly. On the other hand, they are very adaptable. The current one is 11 months old and she's learning fast. The adoption group already has a potential forever home lined up for her.
Becca - I love it, "hormonal soap opera." That about sums up adolescence, doesn't it? LOL.
barbiecat - I never would have thought to wonder about the pedometer's accuracy. You wouldn't think such a simple device could go bad! So I learned something new today.
Vicki - Ten years is a huge testament to your commitment. You definitely deserve to feel proud of yourself for that!
GloworminWA - Hope you are tale to get lots of library time! I'd probably live in the library if they'd let me.
Claire - I'm very sorry for your loss. Be good to yourself and be sure you take time and space to grieve as you need to. If that's a higher priority than keeping up with MFP sometimes, that's OK. We'll still be here whenever you drop by.
Patsy - Oh, I have such a case of loom envy! Weaving is so therapeutic. I always wanted a 45" loom but have never been able to find space for one.
By last night, yesterday's ailments seemed a lot more like illness than allergies. I guess that's good news, since it means I'll get over it. But I used to very rarely be sick, and I've been ill enough to miss work several times in the past year. Not liking this trend at all!
I saw my first hummingbird of the year this morning. Very happy about that - it seems kind of late, and I was afraid they hadn't found their way back to my feeder! It stayed on the shady side of the feeder so I couldn't tell what kind it was. I've also seen several different woodpecker species out there over the last couple of days.
-Yvonne in TX0 -
Becca and Larisa, I have to admit, I'm a fiber addict, never have enough stash. Thank you for the welcome and I hope to be here long-term. One of my sons lives in Kirkland, just near Seattle and I've been around your area a few times. It's beautiful country; here we're pretty mountainous. Larisa, get your looms up and running again. It's a dying craft in some areas and is so satisfying to me. I taught my daughter-in-law, in Kirkland, to weave on a rigid heddle over Thanksgiving last year and she's hooked too. If I can just get into healthy eating as easily--I've been looking for a way to change the numbers on some of the "set" figures here and see if I can drop the carb number to fit the diet my md gave me. Don't see any place but will keep trying. So far, I just subtract about 15 carbs in my head for the day. My husband is in the process of getting false teeth and is on full liquids and soft foods so that figures into my plans for the day as well. He has Parkinson's too. I am a retired RN so care-giving is in my blood, I guess. Patsy0
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Just watched a "stay young" programme on the TV. Usual stuff - eat different coloured vegetables, eat less meat, cut down on stress and dance! Apparently it's the best exercise.
Lots of lentils to reduce visceral fat.
Have any of you done the "Sit and Rise" test. (See utube) I'm going to give it a go tomorrow.
Love Heather UK0 -
DJ, I like the quilt because of the BOOKS. I am a huge reader. Love cats too, but the BOOKS!!!0
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Just got home from playing secretary for day and WOW - over 20 posts. You guys are posting all day! Didn't see one from Clare. Hope she is OK. I'm new on here but I can tell this is a very caring group. That's what Clare needs now.
Now I know why my secratary friend can't lose any weight. She doesn't take lunch away from her desk. She fixes it then sits at her desk working while she eats, mindless eating. She's not paying attention to how much she's eating. That's what I did today and I ate too much. When I'm there sewing I stop sewing and eat in a different spot. You can't sew & eat at the same time, you'll get food on your fabric.
Don't commit mindless eating. Take a short break and concentrate on your meal. You're less likely to over eat.
Sioux in Tulsa
PS. Lost the last paragraph when I hit post button. Had to edit to complete.0 -
evening ladies~
I am here lying in my bed, as Tom was in bed when I got home at 5:30 think he might have the flu.. so staying away from him....took the dogs for a walk.. and am in my jammies..
the dogs are with me so he is on his own.. now this is how bright he is.. I put his soup in a mug,because bowl wasn't deep enough... said he couldn't find it... didn't look hard enough (geesh) so he can have that for dinner tomorrow night...0 -
Barbie-- The only program I am following about drinking is just not having one taste. If I could do that with food I would be skinny.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE
I have a friend who has lost over 100 pounds following a program of no sugar and no flour and three weighed and measured meals with nothing in between. She has followed that strictly for three years including bringing her own food with her on some occasions. It seems like a food version of not having even one taste.
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Patsy, welcome. I am another GA girl, more Northeast. The loom is beautiful. We have lots of talented, creative people on this thread. I am not one of them. Give me a good calculus problem to work instead.
Becca and Pip, you win the prize today for making me Google.
Off to look up "gaggler."0 -
Ok, wish I hadn't done that.....0
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. If I can just get into healthy eating as easily--I've been looking for a way to change the numbers on some of the "set" figures here and see if I can drop the carb number to fit the diet my md gave me. Don't see any place but will keep trying. So far, I just subtract about 15 carbs in my head for the day. My husband is in the process of getting false teeth and is on full liquids and soft foods so that figures into my plans for the day as well. He has Parkinson's too. I am a retired RN so care-giving is in my blood, I guess. Patsy Go to you home page and click on "Goals" and then click on "Edit" and you can set carbs and other stuff to whatever you want.
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drkatiebug wrote: »Patsy, welcome. I am another GA girl, more Northeast. The loom is beautiful. We have lots of talented, creative people on this thread. I am not one of them. Give me a good calculus problem to work instead.
..I admire your ability to do calculus. When I went to college, I thought I'd be a math major and then I met calculus and barely survived with C in the class and immediately changed my major. Later I figured out that what I liked was arithmetic not math....I am great at balancing my checkbook and adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing without the use of a calculator.
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Thanks everyone for the warm welcome!
Michele in NC: I'm in China Grove, near Salisbury.0
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