WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2016

mikesmom1983

Good morning all, and I must say a fine morning here in sunny Massachusetts. The daffodils that were flat on their backs from the snow in the beginning of the week are now raising their sunny faces to the sun with straight backs. I sort of felt like them the other evening when I retreated to my bed and now I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the world again.

While I was taking to my bed, I occupied myself by surfing the online dating site I'm on. I saw a few interesting men, reached out to a few and laid back (literally) to see what would happen, sort of cast the net out. The man with whom I was most interested in responded yesterday, we spoke for over an hour on the phone last night and he is taking me out tonight. We had a wonderful conversation and I particularily like his deep male voice with a French accent. One of the advantages of living a stone's throw from Boston is that we have people from all over the world settling here. I am trying to remain calm, cool and collected but I'm really excited to meet this man.

So, I am back to my determined self, thanks for the boot kick ladies, I am back on track! In fact, the whoopie pie I bought yesterday to satisfy my sugar/chocolate craving I gave to my DGD instead of eating. She was happy and so was I. Win-Win!!

Back to work...
Chris in sunny MA

margaretturk

This was my first reflection on this chapter and I thought I had lost it to cyper space : It repeats much of what I already said. I gave more examples in this rendition. I didn't have the energy to repeat in the second try.

I am finding reflecting on the book The Dance of Anger very helpful in this stressful period with my family. I talked to a good friend who participates in book clubs. Because of this experience we are talking about starting a book club with some other common friends.

Chapter: Who is Responsible for What: The Trickiest Anger Question

The chapter started with three friends experiencing an angry bus driver. They all had different reactions to the event.

An event is often more complicated than a cause and effect. If we are angry someone else must have caused it (blame) The flip side if someone thinks we are to blame and we believe we are innocent then the other person has no right to be angry at us. I think of the secretary who got defensive when she was accused of something she did not do by a student's mother.

When we try to take on responsibility for others thoughts and feelings the relationship sometimes suffers. I told you about the time my brother got anger with me because it was my fault our mother was so upset. This incident certainly did not help our relationship. He is the one I am estranged.

The possibility for growth happens when I take responsibility for my behavior; I accept responsibility for my reaction and do not accept responsibility for theirs. When we take the responsibility for others thoughts and feelings and hand over our thoughts and feelings to someone else trying to change the relationship becomes almost next to impossible. Example: How often have I caught myself if only he/she would do this then we would have a smooth relationship. DH / DS is responsible for why I feel the way I do right now and not in a positive way. (Talk about giving away my power)

According to the author woman have more problems with taking on the guilt and self blame. She used the example of a friend getting bumped on the ski slope and she being the one saying sorry. Even after reading this the same thing happened to me at our community center I was walking on a track and a man bumped into me because he was not watching his body space. I apologized to him.

The next part of the chapter had to do with over functioning and under functioning patterns. Typically when one person over functions in a relationship the other under functions. She suggests as a first step to take stock of who is doing what in a calm moment. She comments it is too easy to be an emotional reactor when stress hits. Pulling back and becoming less reactive so it helps me to be more objective as I access the situation.

In the story she used to illustrate this concept. Two woman fought over whether they should take a dog into a vet. The more one woman took control the less the other woman spoke up in the crisis situation. Resentment brewed from both sides.

Margaret

barbiecat

Lenora, congrats on cleaning out your closets....when I gave away my really large clothing when I lost weight, I cried because I had loved so many of the items....recently I used Marie Kondo's suggestion to look at each item and ask if it brought me joy....I got rid of a lot of things that fit and were in good condition but didn't have any joy attached...maybe the woman who buys them at the thrift shop will feel joyful about them....we decided that for now, Jake will stay with the cardiac practice in Seattle where his current doctor practices because he trusts them and the hospital they are connected with....saving time and money by going to a local doctor and hospital seemed foolish.

Sioux, I have a long history of knitting and a shorter history of crocheting and cross-stitch but as I began my weight loss and fitness journey, I found myself gradually increasing the time I spent active and decreasing the time I spent with my craft work....it was a huge surprise to me but has been a boon to my weight loss and fitness.

Margaret, thank you for all you sharing from your book on anger.

Barbie---now headed off to teach line dancing

nccarolb

Good morning! Mostly just popping in to say hi. Had the procedure done on my eye yesterday and it is a bit tender today. I tolerated the pain that went with it so that the whole procedure could be done in one appointment. I gave myself an imaginary gold star for that one. I was scared spitless when I sat down in the chair. The doctor was very very good at handing out praise.

kritney (?) - I saw that you are also from NC and in Salisbury. Welcome to another North Carolinian!

I've been a bit of an emotional wreck over the past few weeks. I hope that is coming to a swift end. I am ready to re-focus on my health in a positive manner (instead of putting out fires) and get this five pound creep to leave and take 20 or so of its friends with it!

Miriam - I would LOVE to have that quilt! Maybe someday I will discover the patience to quilt...

Hope everyone has a great day! I appreciate each and everyone of you sharing this journey.

Carol in NC

miriamwithcats

Carol, I have been thinking about that quilt. The hardest part will be the planning, I think, since most of it is just rectangles sewn together into strips. There is some applique with the odd shaped pieces, and embroidery for the names of some of the books, but those could also be painted or permanent markered. So when I come up with a plan, I will send it to you! Maybe even cut two of every piece and send those to you too! Inspiration! Since I do not have stashes of fabric anymore (I gave a lot away, trying to purge) it may take a lot of time to purchase many small pieces. I may ask some quilting friends for scraps, too. So eventually I think I will end up making it. Eventually. Maybe during winter of 2016-17. It would be easy enough for my older daughter to help with some.

Katla49

Heather: I'm so glad to hear from you. Posting here via phone is possible, but not easy. Thanks for going to the trouble. :flowerforyou: Sending thoughts of endurance and inner peace to your DH as his family troubles continue. I hope you get to spend time with your grandchildren soon. They feed your hearts.

Barbie: I hope that Jake is able to transition to another cardiologist in the same practice. :flowerforyou:

Sioux in Tulsa: I am an advice addict--addicted to giving it. I go to the gym because of the yoga classes and the fact that it is immune to bad weather. You can get regular exercise anywhere. Could you and your sister plan in 15 or 20 minute walking breaks to stretch and get the blood flowing every so often? I think it could make a difference in lowering your stress and reducing aches and pains, plus it burns calories.

Margaret: Thanks so much for your comments from Dance of Anger. They make so much sense to me. I'll look forward to anything else you share from this book.


I am enjoying morning coffee with DH in the upstairs sitting area of our bedroom, but the beautiful view is blocked by the shades I had to lower because of the brutal morning sun searing my eyeballs. We're talking about some sort of shade cloth for early mornings.

Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

April Resolutions :
1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
5. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.

MightyLolo

lhannon062709 wrote: »

From Kim: Larisa – It seems to be worth a few hours to get to know this man and see after that.
From Larisa: I believe so...and who knows, maybe I'm destined to adopt in my 50s and finally be a mom.

I did it at 49, so one never knows. Didn't exactly adopt--my two came along with the love of my life, were 15 and 17 when we married, and within three years, I was a grandmother, so it all happened really, really fast. But to have two people that call you "Mom" (OK, sometimes, "Moooommmmmm!") when your last infertility surgery was unsuccessful, and you gave up on having children at barely 25 years old, literally 24 years earlier, half your life before... Yeah, that's nothing short of miraculous.

That's kind of what I pictured as possible--maybe I'd marry a man with kids, and at least be a grandma. To date a man who still wants kids? Seems a little far-fetched. I date men age 40-46; that's who asks me out (I won't date under 40, and men my age, IDK, aren't interested), but no one I have dated, has wanted kids, so far.

Anyway I'm going to meet him, and if it turns out he wants to make it an ongoing thing, then we'll talk about what's on and off the table, and take it from there.

barbiecat wrote: »

We stayed up too late last night having a complex discussion about what to do when Jake's cardiologist retires in May. The doctor and the defibrillator specialist made frequent trips out to our town so we made only occasional trips to Seattle to where their clinic is. Choosing another doctor at his clinic will require more trips to Seattle which is an all day project but no doctor closer to us looks as good as the clinic in Seattle.

Ugh, Barbie, it's so hard when your doctor retires; my foot/ankle surgeon retired halfway through my repairs...I lucked out though, and got an even better doc to finish up.
Let me know when you have to come out to Seattle; maybe we could have lunch or something

Larisa in Seattle

pipcd34

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GodMomKim

Hi gals,

Heather – great to see your post, here’s hoping for stable internet

Lillian - Retirement in May!!!

Margaret - The comment about lightening cracked me up as we get very little lightening here and it would very easy to dance in the rain safely.

Miriam – that quilt could be a fun project with the girls, maybe they could learn to embroider the names of favorite books on it.

Levi and I walked to the bank this morning and by 8:20 I had done 10,091 steps! I am picking a friend up at the airport about 1pm and then we are going to lunch and I’ll drop her off at her daughters. She moved to New Mexico about 7 years ago, and this year her daughter is getting married and she’ll be back and forth a bit (showers, dresses, and all the other plans) so I’ll get to see her more !!!

I have some sewing to do and cookies to make – its time to send a box to the niece!

Kim from N. California

GodMomKim

Hey, so I quick tried the sit and rise test heather mentioned and I can sit perfect but rise -hahahah so overall I got about a 5.... i wonder if practice helps? Anyone else try this?

Kim

pipcd34

godmomkim- did, got a 9, as in anything else, you bet to can get better w/practice., I think I could do better w/practice

bwcetc

klanders30 wrote: »

beth hope today is a better day for your son, do u think audition stress is connected to the onset of migraine? Good on you for sticking with eating plan despite all the stress

Karen from ny

Karen ... Son is feeling much better today! And yes, I do believe it was the audition that triggered this one ... A delayed stress reaction. The neuro's first question was have you had any unusual stress?

Beth

nb1959

Mu husband just said that when he retires he is inventing lawnmower golf. That way he can do a chore and practice his swing at the same time! By the way, we married when I was 45 and he was 50. I had one adult son, and he had two, all single at the time. We rented the house next door and said we'd pay for rent, lights, cable, and internet if they would share the place. They did and today (after one doozey of a fight and lots of late nights partying) they call each other brother. We now share three lovely grandchildren. After giving up on marriage, I found this wonderful person and I am so glad I swallowed my fear and doubt and said yes!!!! We celebrated our 10th last year.

grammyx23

OK gang, I'm already planning to make that quilt. One advantage to clearing mom's house is almost unlimited supply of fabrics & notions along with a rainbow of thread colors, even gold metalic to machine embroider titles on the

Vickil57

Happy Friday. I am working the long shift 6-6 today. Had my first problem with being boss. One of my night girls was not happy about her schedule and wanted me to fix it her way. I told her that she would have to find someone to trade as that is her night to work and she did not request it off. She got pretty agressive and I did not back down and stayed calm. Knew I had to let her know she can not tell me what to do, if I did I would have 14 other people doing the same thing. Most proud I did not over react or give in. Happy Dance.

Joyce--Thanks for the extra info and I found the word. Oh my!

I am so mad I can not think straight. The night girl called the boss at home and he called me and said to change her schedule. He told me to give her what she wants as she works nights. I asked what if all the staff told me when and when they would not work. He said nights have to be treated better. Why they get paid to do the job and they wanted nights and get paid more. Also at nights they can bring and watch movies or play games on the computer.
I am having second thoughts about taking this job!!!
Sorry, Please take care ladies.

Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE

grammyx23

I keep losing the end of post, even after edit. Floating around in cyber space

Millerxll

I love reading all these posts but it's hard for me to keep up with all of you so don't feel hurt if I don't call names and speak individually. And yes, I do tat but I do needle tatting and love it as well. I used to quilt but now my daughter-in-law is part owner of The Red Hen Quilt shop in Marietta. She's the one with green hair. I let her do the quilting. She's also the only certified sewing machine repair and restore person in the north Georgia area.
Thanks for telling me how to change some of my levels. I'll do that right away. I wasn't sure if personal pictures were allowed on a "grand" scale but if the loom can be accepted, I'll try to add some others of my work. Here's one of my summer scarves. It's woven of 100% Pima Cotton and Bamboo Viscose, very soft and light-weight. The colors look muddy but are really much brighter.

nb1959

Millerxll wrote: »

I love reading all these posts but it's hard for me to keep up with all of you so don't feel hurt if I don't call names and speak individually. And yes, I do tat but I do needle tatting and love it as well. I used to quilt but now my daughter-in-law is part owner of The Red Hen Quilt shop in Marietta. She's the one with green hair. I let her do the quilting. She's also the only certified sewing machine repair and restore person in the north Georgia area.
Thanks for telling me how to change some of my levels. I'll do that right away. I wasn't sure if personal pictures were allowed on a "grand" scale but if the loom can be accepted, I'll try to add some others of my work. Here's one of my summer scarves. It's woven of 100% Pima Cotton and Bamboo Viscose, very soft and light-weight. The colors look muddy but are really much brighter.

You are talented!! That is absolutely gorgeous!!

nb1959

I love pictures. Here are my three boys. Clay is the eldest and works at a company that cleans carpets for commercial stuff. Lot of government work! Lee, center is the baby. He works at FSU and goes graphic design for websites. Tye is the middle child, and he's a lab scientist lately of UGA and headed toward the USDA this month.

nb1959 wrote: »

Millerxll wrote: »

I love reading all these posts but it's hard for me to keep up with all of you so don't feel hurt if I don't call names and speak individually. And yes, I do tat but I do needle tatting and love it as well. I used to quilt but now my daughter-in-law is part owner of The Red Hen Quilt shop in Marietta. She's the one with green hair. I let her do the quilting. She's also the only certified sewing machine repair and restore person in the north Georgia area.
Thanks for telling me how to change some of my levels. I'll do that right away. I wasn't sure if personal pictures were allowed on a "grand" scale but if the loom can be accepted, I'll try to add some others of my work. Here's one of my summer scarves. It's woven of 100% Pima Cotton and Bamboo Viscose, very soft and light-weight. The colors look muddy but are really much brighter.

You are talented!! That is absolutely gorgeous!!

Noreen in Quincy

KJLaMore

Hey all! Just popped on for a minute and caught up on the posts (took longer than a minute!).
nb (is it Noreen?)- Love your photos! Glad you found some one to make you happy Is it your anniversary today?
Pip, Katie, Kim and other testers- I took the test and got a six. LOL! I have some major balance issues. That will get better as I continue to work on my core and do some yoga. Not a fan of it so far, but I have struggled with balance for about five years since I had a severe ankle injury. Just have to grit my teeth and get the yoga in.
Beth- glad your son is feeling better! Stress can just wreak havoc on our bodies.
Kristan-I missed a squat day this week, so I am not resting today. But I will be on schedule again tomorrow. Maybe I will just think of those rest days as "catch up" days?