WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2016

janetr7476

Terri - Oh wow Awesome Sauce this morning. We have missed your bright smile and big hugs very much. Sorry to hear of you being sick. Happy dance for being down a couple of sizes, way to go. Pop in whenever your time allows. So good to hear from you.

Janetr OKC

mollywhippet

Good morning everyone! I drove the kids to school this morning. It was so great! I'm FREE! I also drove to Home Depot and Big Lots to pick up some stuff I need for the studio. Now, I'm sitting in my studio. It feels like I had a little break and now am ready to get back to work. The only lingering problem is a little weakness in my right hand (which I think is getting better) and some headaches. All in all, I'd say I'm pretty lucky. It could have been so much worse. I think this will be my last week of PT.

Tonight is a chemistry department banquet at school. I think after I pick up the kids I'll go shopping and find something new to wear. What I really need are new dress shoes, since Bruno snacked on my good shoes a while back and they have not been replaced.

Tomorrow I'm going to Joplin with a friend to shop and have lunch with another friend. That should be fun. Then we have a co-op meeting tomorrow night. So, don't worry about me if I don't check in tomorrow. I'll be busy.

Have a great day!

Sylvia

nb1959

Peach1948 wrote: »

Pollance ~ Do you have a food scale to weigh your food and measuring cups? I can't understand why you would not lose weight on that amount of calories. As Katla says, "Calories in vs. Calories out." I have been out of control lately. Not measuring and not logging. Need to get back to that.

Noreen ~ You have a very wise outlook. I am glad that you are feeling healed.

Heather ~ Have fun with the babes.

Thank you, Peach!!

pipcd34

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CSSJ09

MightyLolo wrote: »

CSSJ09 wrote: »

Larissa It is sad that there was no spark. However, Congratulations on getting the courage to plunge into dating.

Thank you all for the wedding invitation advice. I am not going- with no guilt.

Thank you, CJ. I'm glad I did it.
And good for you, not going to the wedding. It's an invitation, not a summons.

Larissa I think that I should embroider this on a pillow or throw or have it printed on a very large poster and keep it where I can see it everyday.
CJ

Lagopus

Katla wrote: Last night I spent about half an hour watching little fish jumping in the shallows near the edge of the river. I think they were smelt and may have been getting ready to spawn. I probably stood there for half an hour watching the show they put on.

This reminds me of one of the most magical moments back around New Year, when we were in northern Norway. We were walking along the shore on a small ridge between a lake and the sea. The lake was frozen and covered with snow but right at the outlet there was a patch of ice maybe two inches thick and clear as glass. Through it we could see the water trickling between rocks and tree roots. And there were dozens of tiny fish swimming around. The water was only a few inches deep and the fish were all under an inch long. It was like looking through a window into a different world.

Thanks for jogging my memory, Katla! :flowerforyou:

Sylvia - The turnip field reminds me of spring in central Sweden. They grow lots of rapeseed there and the fields turn exactly the same color yellow. No surprise: rapeseed is a member of the turnip family. (Oh, and in the US they call it canola oil rather than rapeseed oil - for fairly obvious reasons.)

I'm back home now. Many of you are talking about gardening and outdoor activities and temperatures in the 70s and 80s... I simply can't get my head around the concept! I had great weather too, so I went for a long walk. But in my case, great weather means clear sunny skies, -8°C (about 15°F) and no wind.

The sun went down for the last time last night (last time until late August anyway) and everything is covered with pure white snow. That means it's incredibly bright up here at this time of year. Blindingly bright. To protect my eyes, I've got glasses that darken when exposed to UV and today they turned totally black. They were fine for walking outside, but when I came indoors again I couldn't see a thing, not even with the lights turned on. I had to switch to indoor glasses.

Here's a picture I took from the plane at midnight, just after we started our descent. It wasn't midnight sun yet, but almost.

/Penny, happily back at the

CSSJ09

Sylvia Driving is such wonderful progress. Have a great time getting a new dress. You deserve it.

Heather I am so relieved that you will have a driver, not DH. It is hard enough to navigate in one's own language let alone a foreign language in a place neither of you has been.

Penny Wonderful picture. The lands of the midnight sun are on my life list.

Katla It is amazing just how much complete enjoyment that the tiny, less noticed wildlife can give us. So often when we think of wild animals, we think of the big mammals, reptiles and raptors. Yet, the tiny creatures are just as important. Thanks for the reminder.

Well- today has been a crazy day-almost 3 hours at the dentist, not to mention $1,200. I have another visit to complete the work when the new crown arrives in a few weeks. The upside is that I won't be eating much for the next 2 1/2 weeks.

A number of you have been talking abut paring down. I read an article this weekend about our kids not wanting our stuff. It really spoke to some of my friends and me.

CJ

Memo to parents: Your adult kids don't want your stuff

The kids don't want your stuff

This four-poster bed and nightstands were my parents' when they got married in 1948. Eventually they were in my childhood bedroom, and moved with me when I left home. Then the set became my oldest daughter's growing up, and now it's in her apartment. She plans to paint it. ( Photo courtesy of Marni Jameson.)


NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune By NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune
Follow on Twitter
on April 14, 2016 at 7:37 PM, updated April 14, 2016 at 7:39 PM

Parents of grown children, please sit down. I have some harsh news for you.
Your kids don't want your stuff. Don't take it personally. It's not that they don't love you. They don't love your furniture.

Story by

Marni Jameson

Special to NOLA.com| The Times-Picayune

The china hutch, the collectible figurines, your antique map or thimble collection, the sideboard, all those family treasures may hold many precious moments for you, but for your kids, not so much.

Ouch. Yes, I know you think you're being generous. Yes, I know you paid good money for these things. Yes, I know kids can seem unappreciative. Yes, I know it was part of your family's history. And, yes, I know it still contains some useful life.
I also know that deep down, you believe your kids will change their minds.

That is pure fantasy.

This topic hits home, so to speak. That became clear last week when, at a book signing and author chat for my new book, "Downsizing the Family Home: What to Save, What to Let Go," the subject stirred up a fine fuss.

It began when one woman among the group huddled inside a small independent bookstore asked what I thought about this situation: She wants to give her Drexel bedroom set — which she has had since she was 16 — to her daughter. Only, her daughter doesn't want it and has made that abundantly clear.

"It's a wonderful bed, and I want her to have it. What should I do?" she asked.

"You don't give it to her," I said. "She doesn't want it."

Groans of recognition rippled across the room.

As boomers downsize, declutter and empty their nests, many are facing the painful fact that their millennial offspring don't want the king-sized carved headboard, the box of handmade Christmas ornaments, the 12 place-settings of china, the nostalgic memorabilia or the silver tea set.

Don't believe me? Walk through your local antique, consignment and thrift stores. They are overflowing with brown wood furniture, porcelain and china pieces, embroidered table linens, and marginal art.

One of my readers, Mickey Kavanaugh of Denver, is smack in the middle of this painful awakening. Kavanaugh's mother died in December two weeks' shy of turning 104. She had many beautiful antiques, as does Kavanaugh, who is 80.
Combined, their belongings fill two storage units, in addition to his fully (he sent me pictures) furnished house.

"I saw this coming," he told me over the phone when I called him. "I feel overwhelmed. Lordy, I have so far to go."

Predictably, his son, 48, wants almost none of the accumulated goods, beyond a roll-top desk and some military medals that were his great grandfather's.

"I'm leaning on what you experienced when you went through your parents' stuff," Kavanaugh told me. "That is helping my sagging morale. I don't want to burden him."

I know I am on touchy turf, but to save generations of strife, I offer the following advice for deciding what to pass on or let go.
•Ask, don't assume: Do not fall into the lazy trap of thinking you will hang onto your stuff for the kids. Ask them what they want and get rid of the rest.
•Believe them: When your kids tell you they don't want whatever it is you are foisting on them, honor that. Believing otherwise is really a delay tactic that allows you to postpone giving up stuff. So what if they look back in 20 years and regret not keeping Dad's green La-Z-Boy recliner. Let them live with the consequences of their decisions. Isn't that a parent's job?
•Your kids want to create their own lives: Just like you did. They also want their own style, not yours. Plus, many already have stuff. By the time I cleaned out my parents' house, I had my own houseful. I did not need a second dining table or desk or sectional.
•Accept that stuff has a lifespan: When your kids rebuff your stuff, remember, your (fill in the blank) has served its useful life — for you. If it's still useful, sell or donate it to someone who wants it.
•Times have changed: Many millennials eschew fussy formal furnishings and prefer to live smaller and lighter. Though I can't get excited about living in a 700-square foot downtown apartment and taking Uber everywhere, I respect their lifestyle choice.
•They are practical: Most adult children will take furnishings they like if they can see it working for them. When I asked my youngest what of mine she might want someday, she said, "Maybe your china. But not because it's meaningful, but because I happen to like it." Fair enough. My oldest, age 23, just got her own apartment. She was grateful to get many castoffs, including her bedroom set. The set was mine as girl, and it was my parents' when they got married. It's great when that works out. Just don't force it.
•Don't guilt them: Please do not say things like: "When I'm gone, I want you to have my 12-foot mahogany dining room table and eight chairs, because that would mean a lot to me." I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The line between bestow and burden is blurry. They don't need your furniture to hold you in their heart. Give them the gift of freedom.

Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of two home and lifestyle books, and the newly released "Downsizing the Family Home – What to Save, What to Let Go" (Sterling Publishing 2016).

BajaDreamin333

I'm new to this group, but not to MFP. I had great success in 2013, lost 25 lbs, my 23 year old wedding dress was too big, and then bam - I hit 50 and had major surgery and gained it all back. Now I guess my body has changed, (Mother Nature is cruel!) and I can't seem to lose even 3 lbs. Or if I do, it comes right back. I work out daily, cardio, strength training, Pilates and log my food. I aim for healthy, whole "real" foods whenever possible, but wow what a difference 3 years makes! My goal was 20 lbs but now I would be thrilled with 10. Help...

exermom

Grrr....when we were finished bowing, I reminded Vince that we needed to pick up Loki's medicine. He just said "that means we have to go home, have dinner, then leave. I really don't like doing this" I just answered "that's why I go to exercise, pick up the medicine, then go count at the church." He "tries to consolidate trips" but he doesn't realize just what that means. That means that I come home, run around getting dinner ready, take out the recyclables (after dinner I'll take out the garbage), get everything ready for ceramics and then mahjongg.

marcelyn - I think there are directions on building an ark are on the Internet.

pip - you and Kirby are such a wonderful couple

Chris - prayers for you, your family, and especially your mother

Welcome everyone new!

The_Challenging - yes, 100 pounds is possible. But it will take a while. Set "mini-goals (like 10 pounds) and you'll get there.

Sylvia - isn't it great to do what you want? I can't wait until I'm there. Good luck shopping

Michele in NC

Annr

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nb1959

For all people who love watching all creatures great and small: I am a writer, and today, I spend my day on my porch, watching to male cardinals fighting over (evidently) the most beautiful female cardinal ever, and a lizard chase his dearly beloved up and down my banister. The cats twitch and purr in their sleep, and the song of the wetlands has been my background music all day. And yes, it got hot enough to perspire lightly. On the diet front, I did not enter food all weekend. We entertained our closest buddies, and in the name of kindness, I am not going back and recording the gruesome details. I will nip and tuck this week when I eat.

GodMomKim

Hi gals,

Cheri – sending good thoughts on the job front, that is similar to what I faced in 2008, that got me into having my own business…. The finances are still a challenge, but the boss is a gem….LOL

Larissa – sounds like that worked out fine, you did not invest much and yet had an evening out.

AWE – Chris – who doesn’t love a good romance!!!!!

Barbie and others regarding reunions – I went twice, 10 and 15, and both times really wanted to go and have fun, and both times had at best an ok time, ours were at pretty fancy places so were quite pricy.. when the 20th came around I decided to help plan it, to see if some of my friends could be found and convinced to go… well two meetings in, when the old cheerleaders (planning committee) said about someone on the missing list – who happened to be my best friend in high school – we don’t need to try to find her – she was too boring, we don’t want the boring ones at our party. I stayed silent, went home wrote a resignation letter to the committee and signed it best friend of a “boring one”… High school was not that great and there were over 700 people in our class so it was the size of a small town…

Anne – just pop in when you can…. I am glad to hear you are focusing on you.

KJ – fun way to word our group that we spark joy – I agree with you….

Miriam – question for you on mulching with pine needles – I have heard it is to acidic for use around some plants… I don’t have any pine, so no personal experience, but wondered.

Marcelyn – take care! Hoping that bayou “don’t rise” …

Pip – congrats on the run, congrats on such a peach of a DH – Kirby is amazing…

Chris - I am sad for you with the situation with your Mom, I have 2 siblings neither who I am close to – and I know when my Mom goes it will be a nightmare. My brother is armed and dangerous, but just on the right side of the law.. and my sister’s last communication in email was telling me that I was the cause of pollution by daring to breath, and the world would be better if I stopped. I am the executor and the beneficiary of the trust, so the feelings that exist will be exaggerated, as my sister and brother have one thing in common - greed. I have danced with anger, hurt and shame, and have distanced myself from most of it, and have gotten past most of the anger, but not always the hurt. Many many years of counseling have gotten me to this place, and I am slowly taking the next steps, of which weight loss is one.

NB (Noreen? Right?) Excellent choices, excellent wording, you can feel the peace in reading your post.

The changling – you are approaching the journey we are all on from a different angle than I am, but the end result is the same better health…. I am glad you are doing it with a doc’s supervision, join in with us and we will all wander the journey together.

Pollance – I don’t remember, is there a specific reason for staying under 1000 calories, that is too low for many people, and if you get too low your body responds differently as the nutrition mix is not right.

Hawaii – I have only dreamed about it… I would love to see it, both the history, the parks, and diving in the ocean… the commercial part – not so much…


I hike with a hiking group I found on Meetup.com there is a hike 3-5 weekday mornings different folks plan them, so we stay mostly in the local area (30-45 min drive from my home) and hike for 2-3 hours I usually do the Tuesday morning hike, but have been wanting to try the hike that is done on Mondays so today was it… this is a picture of me at the top after climbing Heart Attack Hill.


Kim from N. California

nb1959

OH, MY GOODNESS! I just heard an alligator roar really close to me!! Thank goodness my home is on pillars and I am eight feet up!! Listen: youtube.com/watch?v=_FEm6H3bE0Y

cityjaneLondon

Hi all! I'm hoooooome!

Good journey home. I found a great sushi meal to have on the train, including chicken yakitori.

After DGD told me all about the scary thunderstorm, she went upstairs and acted it all out with DH. Ain't kids fabulous! She was banging on the doors and laughing, saying it was a thunderstorm and the rain was pouring down.
Miss them already.

Noreen - I too was an abused child. It took me many, many years and a LOT of therapy ($$$$$) to find my current peace. I am now writing my memoirs.

In my Norwegian lessons I am now learning the past tense. An example is - I drank the whole bottle. Add that to my previous present tense - My glass is completely empty - and I've got it covered. :noway:

Today in London I was answering the phone call from the holiday company and looking out of the back window when I saw a strange face staring at me from the top of the shed. It was looking straight at me and all I could see was its face as it was looking over a parapet. It was a fox. The strangest thing is that it was sharing the roof with a cat!

Posting a photo I took of Bea, while she was snorting away with her cold. I had the privilege of changing her dirty nappy and giving her a bath.

Love Heather UK

lawmiller1

Katla49 wrote: »

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GodMomKim

Heather - Bea is so cute, she melts your heart
Noreen - that is scary!!!! can alligators climb?

Kim in N. Cal (with NO alligators!!!!)

grandmallie

a quick hello~ He$$ day at work worked 7:45-5:45 no lunch,doubled booked and hard cases, coughing the whole, day.. gonna go to bed.

drkatiebug

Kim, your reunion planning story makes me mad. Why have a class reunion unless you invite everybody? Good job on your resignation letter.

I still live relatively close to my hometown and have been on our reunion planning committee every time. I did not consider myself popular in high school, but I was involved and was a good student. I thought of myself as a nerd (and I was), but the others act like I was "one of them" in school. I guess they don't remember that I never went to the school dances and was never invited to their weekend parties. I see two of my former classmates almost daily at the gym. We were a class of about 60 and have lost about 10. Our 45 year mark will be coming up in 2017. I don't know if we will have a reunion or if we'll wait until 50 in 2022.

As for college reunions, I never go to those. I graduated in three years and the school so big that I probably wouldn't know anybody. Now, if my doctoral cohort would have a reunion, I'd go to that, but I don't see it happening. I keep up with a few of those classmates.

GodMomKim

GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS