Craziest food pusher story?
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One of my favorite parts of going out to eat with friends is trying each other's food, I guess I have to be careful who I eat with.0
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blues4miles wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »quinndeborde wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
I've never had people push food on me though.
If I did, and they were a big person, I would be rude, not gonna lie, and say "I don't want it cuz I don't want to look like you!" I know that's mean, but guess what, I bet they'd never do it again!
I've come close to saying that to my mother-in-law cuz she always says I'm "too skinny" Mind you she's like 5 ft and over 200 pounds, so yeah I guess I am too skinny...to someone like her!
That is absolutely horrible, sorry but negative responses like that may make a person eat more. I just wouldn't be your friend anymore after that comment.
And that would be fine w/me.
Because the way I see it... If you're allowed to "Skinny Shame" me, I'm allowed to "Fat Shame" you... no double-standards where I come from!
You're "allowed to do the same", or you don't want to sink to the other person's level?
I feel like I'm allowed... but society doesn't..
You call someone "fat" it's like you committed murder!
Call someone "too skinny" and it's acceptable... I think it sucks but that's the way it is!
Call someone "ugly" versus "too pretty".
Call someone "stupid" versus "too smart."
Call someone "awkward" versus "too charming."
Skinny is seen as a positive in our society. That's why calling someone skinny is acceptable and calling someone fat is seen as negative/insulting (even if true, yes).
When someone calls me skinny that's fine.. like "oh look at you Skinny-Minnie" (or some variation like that).
But if someone says "you're too skinny" or worse, "Ewww... you're too skinny" or calls you "skeletor "... all phrases/words that have been directed towards me, I'm sorry but that's not being nice...
It wouldn' t be okay for me to turn around and say the opposite:
"You're too fat"
"Ewwww...you're to fat"
"Fatso"0 -
Why say anything? If they serve you food after you've already said no, and you don't eat it, I'd say it's their problem. And I would venture to guess that after it happens once, they wouldn't do it again (normal people, not necessarily family
).
I was kind of thinking this too. If someone offers me food and I decline I am under no obligation to eat it if they put it in front of me. In fact I'm less likely to leave it than eat it 'cause I'm stubborn that way.0 -
The weirdest was at a potluck. I passed up the Filipino soup because it didn't smell good to me. A woman noticed I didn't have any and brought a big bowl of it over to me. "Try it!" she commanded so I took a small sip. blech! Then she demanded to know how I liked it, and I didn't know - maybe she made it or something - I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I said that it was different from anything I'd ever tasted, and I wasn't sure what I thought of it. I offended her, but I didn't mean to.
It really bothers me when people think they're justified to say something rude to somebody else. It's like an eye for an eye, and pretty soon the entire world is blind.0 -
My grandparents are food pushers, but it's sweet to me. They're the type of people who will know you like something, and keep it in stock at their house even if they don't like it or don't eat it. I never take offense to it, in fact it makes me feel special to know that they are looking out for me.0
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starwhisperer6 wrote: »One of my favorite parts of going out to eat with friends is trying each other's food, I guess I have to be careful who I eat with.
If your friends know everyone's going to be sharing with everyone, that's one thing. When a friend starts picking off your plate without asking, that's another.
I share food with my husband, but we ask first before taking or it's agreed beforehand we'll share a dessert or entree. We have an unspoken agreement that it's okay if he eats the croutons out of my Caesar salad. He knows they're typically too hard for me to chew with my weak teeth.1 -
Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.0 -
DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
We'll hold him down for you.
I like you! I don't know how some of you stay sweet about SO's swiping bites of your weighed out portion of food. Train these miscreants! And grown adults taking food of another's plate without asking.... It's so... Boarding school. Come to think of it, I evidently never got over that part of boarding school. It grosses me out.0 -
FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.
Why should Francl27 be the "better person"? Why does she have to give in and eat what she doesn't want in order to pacify someone else? Why can't the other people be the "better person" and take no for an answer?0 -
FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.
Why should Francl27 be the "better person"? Why does she have to give in and eat what she doesn't want in order to pacify someone else? Why can't the other people be the "better person" and take no for an answer?
It seems to me, from her previous post; that she's avoiding confrontation because she made no mention, of putting them in their place; possibly to avoid drama/alienation. Therefore a better alternative (for her, not them), would be a "work around"; on her part.0 -
FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.
Why should Francl27 be the "better person"? Why does she have to give in and eat what she doesn't want in order to pacify someone else? Why can't the other people be the "better person" and take no for an answer?
It seems to me, from her previous post; that she's avoiding confrontation because she made no mention, of putting them in their place; possibly to avoid drama/alienation. Therefore a better alternative (for her, not them), would be a "work around"; on her part.
So because she didn't say no strong enough for you, she has to eat what someone puts in front of her. No means no. Period.0 -
FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.
Why should Francl27 be the "better person"? Why does she have to give in and eat what she doesn't want in order to pacify someone else? Why can't the other people be the "better person" and take no for an answer?
It seems to me, from her previous post; that she's avoiding confrontation because she made no mention, of putting them in their place; possibly to avoid drama/alienation. Therefore a better alternative (for her, not them), would be a "work around"; on her part.
So because she didn't say no strong enough for you, she has to eat what someone puts in front of her. No means no. Period.
While she did refuse, she's obviously not comfortable doing so. She choose not to address them, about not continuing to offer her something, again possibly because she isn't comfortable doing so. So then what'd be comfortable, for her to do? Either avoid them but possibly, that might make her uncomfortable also because they might confront her, about her avoidance; of them & she seems to be avoiding potential drama/conflict or just make the situation easier for her to deal with, without potential confrontation & so that's why I suggested, what I did. Your response'd indicate, that we're discussing rape here. This situation isn't that serious, that some tolerance; isn't acceptable.0 -
Rituals surrounding food and hospitality have been at play in human culture...pretty much since there were humans. During most of that time, needing to gain weight was an issue, not needing to lose it. I guess our social rituals simply haven't caught up with our newfound easy access to calorie rich foods... Oh who am I kidding?!??! If this isn't the most first world level problem on the planet, I have no idea what else could possibly qualify. They offered me food...more than once...*gasp, clutch pearls.* Say no, just don't eat it, eat and move on with life...whatever. 2
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