Craziest food pusher story?
Replies
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I have an amazing fire fighting hero uncle who started a home wine business in his backyard. He pushed and pushed to get me to try some (I love small batch brew wines and beers so it was normal). He went so far as to break out the guilt trip of "You'll have a drink with other uncle, but not me?" And that's how he ended up being the third person to find out I was pregnant.3
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Marilyn0924 wrote: »
I WAS JUST GOING TO POST THIS! YESSSS!0 -
WigglexWigglexWiggle wrote: »Marilyn0924 wrote: »
I WAS JUST GOING TO POST THIS! YESSSS!
Lol.
What I hate hearing the most 'oh no I'm not going to get dessert, I'll just get a bite of yours'.
NO.1 -
WigglexWigglexWiggle wrote: »Marilyn0924 wrote: »
I WAS JUST GOING TO POST THIS! YESSSS!
Lol.
What I hate hearing the most 'oh no I'm not going to get dessert, I'll just get a bite of yours'.
NO.
Hahaha. This is just like my husband. Whenever he orders dessert and the server brings an extra spoon for me, hubs will always hand the spare spoon straight back.
To be honest, I don't really like dessert anyway, and would much rather eat a plate of cheese.0 -
samwiserabbit wrote: »(snip)
In some cultures a guest is sort of expected to say no two or three times before finally "giving in" even if they want the thing from the beginning.
(snip)
Yes, literally. My paternal grandmother was from exactly such a subculture. The expected "proper" social pattern was that the host would offer, and the guest was supposed (required!) to refuse politely twice, then could accept on the third offer. It was that specific.
She told a story of a mean-spirited woman who would offer something particularly tempting - at a time when my grandmother was quite poor, didn't get many treats - but only offer twice.
And there are many more cultural traditions where the offering & sharing of food/hospitality in social situations has a ritual aspect to it.
Perhaps one can tell more, at the time, whether this kind of thing is in play, I don't know. But I would think fuller explanation could help apply social oil when it is the case, uncomfortable though that may be. No obligation to eat food one doesn't want, IMO, though - unless one is the visitor abroad in such a culture, maybe.0 -
pebble4321 wrote: »I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
Hell yes, that's an insult. They just called you stupid!
I guess I meant more like someone complaining, and then saying "you're too pretty to sympathize" I didn't mean not understand like they weren't intelligent. Obviously calling someone pretty and stupid...is just calling someone stupid, and is mean.0 -
Okay, in my immediate family circle (read: husband/siblings/cousin) we only steal food if we love you. And it becomes a great game to try and keep our food away from others.
There have been kitchen wars started over bacon. You think I'm joking? Took me three weeks to get all the grease off the bay window. . .
This being said, I would never steal food off of the plate of anyone not in this immediate circle.2 -
I had the stomach flu one time and my roommate kept trying to bring me slices of turkey deli meat. As I was currently throwing up. All I could manage was a look of "but whyyyy?"0
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Friend of mine in graduate school. She was determined to get me to drink beer at a student gathering. I put up with about 30 min of intermittent, "Do you want some? You can have some of mine. Are you sure you don't want a sip? Here, just taste it. Don't be that way, just drink it! Come on, don't be such a stick in the mud ... " And on, and on, and on.
I kept saying "No, thanks". That eventually changed to "No". Then, "I said no. If I want some, I'll ask." Eventually I tried silence.
The last time she asked me, I lost it and told her that if she *kitten* asked me to take a *kitten* drink one more *kitten* time, I was going to ram the bottle up her *kitten*.
I really don't curse much. "S***" is about the worst thing I say. She was shocked, offended, hurt (also a drama queen), and didn't speak to me for days. And you know what? It was such a relief not to be nagged, I didn't really care.
I don't recommend doing the same. I wouldn't have normally, I'd have walked away (which would have gotten the same reaction from her). But, it was a really stressful time in my life and I was not managing it well. So, she caught the brunt of it.4 -
I'm actually very guilty of being a food pusher. I try to be mindful and listen the first time they decline, but if it's someone I really care about I may list off several options of things I could make for them. It drives my partner crazy sometimes so I try really hard to catch myself. Food is love, and I just want everyone to be happy and well fed.0
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This may not be the same, but when I was around 6, my cousin had me pinned to the ground while he was shoving his wifes food into my mouth...and threatened to hurt me if I didn't eat her crap.0
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Friend of mine in graduate school. She was determined to get me to drink beer at a student gathering. I put up with about 30 min of intermittent, "Do you want some? You can have some of mine. Are you sure you don't want a sip? Here, just taste it. Don't be that way, just drink it! Come on, don't be such a stick in the mud ... " And on, and on, and on.
I kept saying "No, thanks". That eventually changed to "No". Then, "I said no. If I want some, I'll ask." Eventually I tried silence.
The last time she asked me, I lost it and told her that if she *kitten* asked me to take a *kitten* drink one more *kitten* time, I was going to ram the bottle up her *kitten*.
I really don't curse much. "S***" is about the worst thing I say. She was shocked, offended, hurt (also a drama queen), and didn't speak to me for days. And you know what? It was such a relief not to be nagged, I didn't really care.
I don't recommend doing the same. I wouldn't have normally, I'd have walked away (which would have gotten the same reaction from her). But, it was a really stressful time in my life and I was not managing it well. So, she caught the brunt of it.
Yup! That's what I would do...
I got a lot of satisfaction just reading what you told her, LOL!1 -
Yeah, I catch my self being a pusher sometimes.saragreen012 wrote: »I'm actually very guilty of being a food pusher. I try to be mindful and listen the first time they decline, but if it's someone I really care about I may list off several options of things I could make for them. It drives my partner crazy sometimes so I try really hard to catch myself. Food is love, and I just want everyone to be happy and well fed.
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DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit!
Hahaha this very thing happened to me the other weekend. I was preparing my lunch consisting of goat cheese, crackers, salad, shrimp and cocktail sauce. Meticulously weighed everything. Sat down, and just as I was about to dig in, the boyfriend waltzes in without warning and scoops up a bunch of my shrimp!! Like, oh hey, no big deal, it's not like that was MINE or anything!!1 -
DoreenaV1975 wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
I've never had people push food on me though.
If I did, and they were a big person, I would be rude, not gonna lie, and say "I don't want it cuz I don't want to look like you!" I know that's mean, but guess what, I bet they'd never do it again!
I've come close to saying that to my mother-in-law cuz she always says I'm "too skinny" Mind you she's like 5 ft and over 200 pounds, so yeah I guess I am too skinny...to someone like her!
That is absolutely horrible, sorry but negative responses like that may make a person eat more. I just wouldn't be your friend anymore after that comment.
And that would be fine w/me.
Because the way I see it... If you're allowed to "Skinny Shame" me, I'm allowed to "Fat Shame" you... no double-standards where I come from!
You're "allowed to do the same", or you don't want to sink to the other person's level?
I wouldn't be rude back, just because I don't want to be like that person (tearing others down). In fact, the best way to get to them is by being super nice.
but that's just me.2 -
Sometimes when I visit my parents, my dad will literally go through the entire contents of their fridge and pantry listing for me all the food they have and telling me I am welcome to eat any of it. But it doesn't bother me because I know he's doing it because he loves me and is happy I'm there. If I walked in the door and he didn't offer to make me something to eat, I would feel very let down
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quinndeborde wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
I've never had people push food on me though.
If I did, and they were a big person, I would be rude, not gonna lie, and say "I don't want it cuz I don't want to look like you!" I know that's mean, but guess what, I bet they'd never do it again!
I've come close to saying that to my mother-in-law cuz she always says I'm "too skinny" Mind you she's like 5 ft and over 200 pounds, so yeah I guess I am too skinny...to someone like her!
That is absolutely horrible, sorry but negative responses like that may make a person eat more. I just wouldn't be your friend anymore after that comment.
And that would be fine w/me.
Because the way I see it... If you're allowed to "Skinny Shame" me, I'm allowed to "Fat Shame" you... no double-standards where I come from!
You're "allowed to do the same", or you don't want to sink to the other person's level?
I feel like I'm allowed... but society doesn't..
You call someone "fat" it's like you committed murder!
Call someone "too skinny" and it's acceptable... I think it sucks but that's the way it is!0 -
You haven't seen food pushers until you've visited this one town here where people are very well known for their hospitality. And they go to extremes to uphold this reputation.
Anyway.. we went to visit some relatives there once and it was my first time visiting. I was offered sponge cake. I don't like sponge cake so I said no. Of course, a plate was put in front of me anyway, then they host kept pressuring me to eat it. When I didn't, she cut a piece, and practically shoved the fork in my face saying "come on, don't be shy, have some". It was shocking...0 -
The thing is, it gets embarrassing when people try to force food on you when you don't want it.
When I was a student midwife, we saw an Asian family (unsure of exact nationality, but it's irrelevant anyway) at their home. It was clearly customary to offer food and drink to visitors, regardless of capacity (family/professional/etc). The midwife I was with took some of these offerings but I refused (as I would anywhere - I didn't know what was in it or how it had been prepared so I prefer not to accept - I like to know what I'm eating/drinking).
The new father was very, very pushy and kept on and on about it. I just kept refusing, much to his annoyance. The visit eventually ended (the new father was STILL trying to get me to take the food) and after we'd left the midwife mentoring me had a right go as she perceived that I'd been really rude! Well, I'm sorry but if I don't want to eat the food offered then that's my decision and the people concerned should accept and respect that. Respect is a two way street; I'm an adult, capable of deciding things for myself and if that means offending someone who doesn't respect my choices then so be it.1 -
DoreenaV1975 wrote: »quinndeborde wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
I've never had people push food on me though.
If I did, and they were a big person, I would be rude, not gonna lie, and say "I don't want it cuz I don't want to look like you!" I know that's mean, but guess what, I bet they'd never do it again!
I've come close to saying that to my mother-in-law cuz she always says I'm "too skinny" Mind you she's like 5 ft and over 200 pounds, so yeah I guess I am too skinny...to someone like her!
That is absolutely horrible, sorry but negative responses like that may make a person eat more. I just wouldn't be your friend anymore after that comment.
And that would be fine w/me.
Because the way I see it... If you're allowed to "Skinny Shame" me, I'm allowed to "Fat Shame" you... no double-standards where I come from!
You're "allowed to do the same", or you don't want to sink to the other person's level?
I feel like I'm allowed... but society doesn't..
You call someone "fat" it's like you committed murder!
Call someone "too skinny" and it's acceptable... I think it sucks but that's the way it is!
Call someone "ugly" versus "too pretty".
Call someone "stupid" versus "too smart."
Call someone "awkward" versus "too charming."
Skinny is seen as a positive in our society. That's why calling someone skinny is acceptable and calling someone fat is seen as negative/insulting (even if true, yes).1 -
One of my favorite parts of going out to eat with friends is trying each other's food, I guess I have to be careful who I eat with.0
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blues4miles wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »quinndeborde wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
I've never had people push food on me though.
If I did, and they were a big person, I would be rude, not gonna lie, and say "I don't want it cuz I don't want to look like you!" I know that's mean, but guess what, I bet they'd never do it again!
I've come close to saying that to my mother-in-law cuz she always says I'm "too skinny" Mind you she's like 5 ft and over 200 pounds, so yeah I guess I am too skinny...to someone like her!
That is absolutely horrible, sorry but negative responses like that may make a person eat more. I just wouldn't be your friend anymore after that comment.
And that would be fine w/me.
Because the way I see it... If you're allowed to "Skinny Shame" me, I'm allowed to "Fat Shame" you... no double-standards where I come from!
You're "allowed to do the same", or you don't want to sink to the other person's level?
I feel like I'm allowed... but society doesn't..
You call someone "fat" it's like you committed murder!
Call someone "too skinny" and it's acceptable... I think it sucks but that's the way it is!
Call someone "ugly" versus "too pretty".
Call someone "stupid" versus "too smart."
Call someone "awkward" versus "too charming."
Skinny is seen as a positive in our society. That's why calling someone skinny is acceptable and calling someone fat is seen as negative/insulting (even if true, yes).
When someone calls me skinny that's fine.. like "oh look at you Skinny-Minnie" (or some variation like that).
But if someone says "you're too skinny" or worse, "Ewww... you're too skinny" or calls you "skeletor "... all phrases/words that have been directed towards me, I'm sorry but that's not being nice...
It wouldn' t be okay for me to turn around and say the opposite:
"You're too fat"
"Ewwww...you're to fat"
"Fatso"0 -
Why say anything? If they serve you food after you've already said no, and you don't eat it, I'd say it's their problem. And I would venture to guess that after it happens once, they wouldn't do it again (normal people, not necessarily family ).
I was kind of thinking this too. If someone offers me food and I decline I am under no obligation to eat it if they put it in front of me. In fact I'm less likely to leave it than eat it 'cause I'm stubborn that way.0 -
The weirdest was at a potluck. I passed up the Filipino soup because it didn't smell good to me. A woman noticed I didn't have any and brought a big bowl of it over to me. "Try it!" she commanded so I took a small sip. blech! Then she demanded to know how I liked it, and I didn't know - maybe she made it or something - I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I said that it was different from anything I'd ever tasted, and I wasn't sure what I thought of it. I offended her, but I didn't mean to.
It really bothers me when people think they're justified to say something rude to somebody else. It's like an eye for an eye, and pretty soon the entire world is blind.0 -
My grandparents are food pushers, but it's sweet to me. They're the type of people who will know you like something, and keep it in stock at their house even if they don't like it or don't eat it. I never take offense to it, in fact it makes me feel special to know that they are looking out for me.0
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starwhisperer6 wrote: »One of my favorite parts of going out to eat with friends is trying each other's food, I guess I have to be careful who I eat with.
If your friends know everyone's going to be sharing with everyone, that's one thing. When a friend starts picking off your plate without asking, that's another.
I share food with my husband, but we ask first before taking or it's agreed beforehand we'll share a dessert or entree. We have an unspoken agreement that it's okay if he eats the croutons out of my Caesar salad. He knows they're typically too hard for me to chew with my weak teeth.1 -
Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.0 -
DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Oops - Edited to add:
This is in response to @kgirlhart 's comment above:
That happened last night! I weighed my mint greek yogurt pop, logged it...ate a bit of it...put it back on the scale so I didn't have to dirty another plate while I grabbed something else and my husband picked it up and took a bit of it! I'm like "NOOO!! I already weighed that!" He laughed. And although I wasn't truly mad, there was a part of me that thought "you stole my only food"! LOL! Like, I can only eat so much so I want it all, dammit! That's not the first time that's happened either...
We'll hold him down for you.
I like you! I don't know how some of you stay sweet about SO's swiping bites of your weighed out portion of food. Train these miscreants! And grown adults taking food of another's plate without asking.... It's so... Boarding school. Come to think of it, I evidently never got over that part of boarding school. It grosses me out.0 -
FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.
Why should Francl27 be the "better person"? Why does she have to give in and eat what she doesn't want in order to pacify someone else? Why can't the other people be the "better person" and take no for an answer?0 -
FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Ever had someone who would just NOT take no for an answer? My kids had a playdate a couple weeks ago after school and I just stayed there too to chat with the mom (she's actually nice and means well). She offered me some melon... I said no. Honestly I wasn't hungry anyway, plus I have teeth aligners that I have to take out to eat, and it's awkward to do it in public (it's actually been helpful to avoid samples etc when going out, lol).
But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She cut the melon, put some in a bowl, and put it in front of me. I don't even like melon enough to spend the calories on it 99% of the time, so it was very irritating. Then she started offering me chocolate (I love chocolate but I was really not hungry and didn't want chocolate at the time). I said no and she put the box in front of me. I didn't eat anything but it was VERY awkward.
Honestly I don't even want to go there again after that. I don't understand why people do that. Can't they just take no for an answer? How do you react when that happens? I've known her for 5 years now but never went to her place before I lost the weight either, so it's not like she knows that I would probably have said yes before. Needless to say, I have no desire to ever go there again.
The other story is my mom who got really mad at me once day because I didn't want to order cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory.. because she wanted to have a bite of it. She's diabetic and didn't want to order a whole one, so she just got pissed at me instead (plus she's always eating bread, chocolate, potatoes and whatnot anyway). Good times. Plus I hate it when I order something and people take a bite of it...
@Francl27 if these situations don't happen often & if it's important enough to you, to interact with; your children's friend's mother (for your children's sake) & your Mother (for your family's sake). Could you possibly work around, what's known to happen; with them? I know that this isn't fair, to you but someone always has to be, the better person & you seem rational enough, to be; that person.
However I'd suggest trying to make it easy on yourself as well, like remove your teeth aligners in your vehicle; before you enter your children's friend's mother's home & casually begin a conversation about what foods/beverages, you'd gladly spend your calories for; as a hint to her to offer. Also go hungry enough, to have the calories to spare, with both your children's friend's mother & your mother.
Why should Francl27 be the "better person"? Why does she have to give in and eat what she doesn't want in order to pacify someone else? Why can't the other people be the "better person" and take no for an answer?
It seems to me, from her previous post; that she's avoiding confrontation because she made no mention, of putting them in their place; possibly to avoid drama/alienation. Therefore a better alternative (for her, not them), would be a "work around"; on her part.0
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