married chit-chatters?

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  • danj_64
    danj_64 Posts: 96 Member
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    I agree Kevin. Too many threads devoted
    to selfies and commenting on the selfie of the person above you etc. it's nice to have real conversations.
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    danj_64 wrote: »
    I agree Kevin. Too many threads devoted
    to selfies and commenting on the selfie of the person above you etc. it's nice to have real conversations.

    So true. I don't know why they don't have one that just says "Tell Me I'm Hot". Then they can just come back to it every now and then for confirmation. I wonder what they'll do when their looks fade.
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    Hey to all the newcomers today. Here is a question if anyone would like to share.

    How did you meet your current spouse? The more details the better. Was it immediate affection toward them or did it take a while to develop?

    I met my spouse at a place I was employed. She worked in the QC department and was actually still in high school and working there part time. It wasn't love at first sight for me but after a year of dating we became engaged and married 10 months after that.
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    Mine wasn't love at first sight at all. I actually liked her friend and didn't realize her friend wasn't interested in me until she tried to hook me and my current wife up. I went along with the date to try to look good not really to date. At first, I thought my wife was really immature and not all that attractive. She wasn't the type of girl to put on a lot of makeup and wear clothes that showed off her body. This allowed me to like her for her personality and mind first before realizing how beautiful of a body she had as well. We've both put on pounds over the years but I still think she's beautiful. We dated on and off for 10yrs before getting married. The on and off part was based on my issues of thinking there might be something better out there and wanting to explore. It's hard to find someone that can tolerate and support you when you're at your worst and best.
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
    edited August 2016
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    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Still married.

    Ha! Some days this is the definition of success.

    I survived my husband's two-week vacation and feel like I deserve a wife-of-the-universe award.
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
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    I met my husband on my twentieth birthday. He was at my house for a party (I had five roommates) when I got home from dinner. I assumed he was their weed dealer with his long hair and Harley Davidson jacket. I thought he was younger than me and didn't pay any attention to him. I was shocked when he called to ask me out the next day and I then learned he was six years older than me. Apparently, I'm terrible at guessing someone's age/occupation.

    Turned out, he was intelligent, funny, romantic, and crazy about me. We dated for about two and a half years before getting married. We've been a great match . . . except he's a little hyper and needs to keep busy or drives me b.a.n.a.n.a.s. Not to say I'm not a little something or other that drives him mad too. He plans to retire in 2027. As I work from a home office, I imagine I'll have to rent some space outside the home if I want to be able to continue participating in this married chit-chatters thread.
  • serenityfrye
    serenityfrye Posts: 360 Member
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    I met my husband at college through mutual friends. We were just acquaintances for three years before he asked me out. He actually had to ask three times before I said yes because I was shy and have social anxiety had never dated anyone before so I wanted to get to know him better before we dated. Also my best friend had just gotten over a crush on him so I'd never considered dating him myself. We wound up getting together a week before he graduated then he drove 7 hours each way every weekend from where he worked back to our school to see me my senior year. It's pretty hard not to be crazy about that kind of dedication :) Frankly, long distance dating sucked so much that marriage has been way better than we thought (aside from a few low points when I struggled hard with depression).
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    Geez, 7hrs one way is pretty damn dedicated.
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    RunRachelleRun wrote: »
    I met my husband on my twentieth birthday. He was at my house for a party (I had five roommates) when I got home from dinner. I assumed he was their weed dealer with his long hair and Harley Davidson jacket. I thought he was younger than me and didn't pay any attention to him. I was shocked when he called to ask me out the next day and I then learned he was six years older than me. Apparently, I'm terrible at guessing someone's age/occupation.

    Turned out, he was intelligent, funny, romantic, and crazy about me. We dated for about two and a half years before getting married. We've been a great match . . . except he's a little hyper and needs to keep busy or drives me b.a.n.a.n.a.s. Not to say I'm not a little something or other that drives him mad too. He plans to retire in 2027. As I work from a home office, I imagine I'll have to rent some space outside the home if I want to be able to continue participating in this married chit-chatters thread.

    @RunRachelleRun that's a great story! I have done the same thing in judging someone by their appearance only to find out later on they were a very different person from who I had categorized them as. Thanks for sharing!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited August 2016
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    How we met story can be short or long. I will tell the long version. It was love at first sight, but grew from friendship.

    I was staying overnight at the college as a prospective student, but I had already submitted my acceptance letter. He ran into the dining hall and excitedly asked if anyone wanted to go white river rafting. It was love at first sight. I actually said to myself, "I am going to marry him someday". When I started college I saw him at a party. I went over and danced with him. We left to my room and talked. My roommate got there. We left to his room and stayed up talking all night. It was time for me to leave. He said he wanted to kiss me. I had decided I just wanted to be friends to get to know him better. He said ok. And he never pushed past that. We had an amazing, fun friendship for two years. I really wasn't dating much. I was very focused on school (dance major). One day he said he wanted to teleport. He said to close my eyes. And we walked through campus laughing and pretended to teleport. He definitely won me over in a sense that day. Few things happened that I was realizing he loved me. He would tell me things about things he noticed about me. He said, "I don't know anything about your past or how this happened, but something happened. I can see it how sometimes you say no to people and they don't take no for an answer and you don't realize that's assault (from me telling him about bad experiences at our college). Somehow you were never taught that it's ok to say no, and that no means no. That you should be respected. And you need to know how valuable you are and how deserving of respect you are. Your parents never made you feel valuable." It was true I had been badly abused growing up.

    And on another occasion I was cold. He said I could pick out any of his sweaters that I wanted and keep them for as long as I needed.

    Next thing. This is a wild story. He had turned his closet ceiling into a secret doorway into the attic above his dorm room. A few days before his birthday, he showed me and took me into the attic. When I was in the attic I started realizing I was in love with him. On the day before his birthday, friends and I were making a Happy Birthday banner to hang from the clock tower. He didn't know why we were ignoring him and excluding him. We were basically done. I asked the friends to finish anything, clean up, and get it hung up without me because I needed to be with him. So, I spent the night at his room. I gave him a massage and listened to him. That's when I knew for sure I was so in love with him and needed to tell him soon. We woke up early and went out to the lawn so he could meet his friend to hike (that friend hung the banner from the clock tower). Out on the lawn he saw the banner on the clock tower. He picked me up and spun me around. That night he had his birthday in the attic. After the party everyone left, and I stayed. I told him that I love him. He was so happy because he had loved me for so long. And he said he was so excited we were going to have sex soon. I said, "But, I was worried it could ruin our friendship". He said, "Why would sex ruin our friendship? It will only make it better!" He was right!!!
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    serenityfrye wrote: »
    I met my husband at college through mutual friends. We were just acquaintances for three years before he asked me out. He actually had to ask three times before I said yes because I was shy and have social anxiety had never dated anyone before so I wanted to get to know him better before we dated. Also my best friend had just gotten over a crush on him so I'd never considered dating him myself. We wound up getting together a week before he graduated then he drove 7 hours each way every weekend from where he worked back to our school to see me my senior year. It's pretty hard not to be crazy about that kind of dedication :) Frankly, long distance dating sucked so much that marriage has been way better than we thought (aside from a few low points when I struggled hard with depression).

    @serenityfrye I have to agree with Kevin, that guy was really smitten for you! He certainly proved his dedication for you. Another great story!
  • danj_64
    danj_64 Posts: 96 Member
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    Thank you all for sharing those very touching stories.
  • DarleneReid577
    DarleneReid577 Posts: 4,401 Member
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    Here's mine. I picked him up in bar. Drunken fools have been together ever since. Lmao
  • grannynot
    grannynot Posts: 146 Member
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    Lonestar5715 wrote: »
    Hey everyone........when it comes to planning a vacation, do you get involved in the planning with your spouse or is the other person the one who lays out the trip? Are you married to someone who plans months and months in advance or are they spontaneous and like to surprise you on a Friday evening with weekend plans out of town?

    LOL!! I *was* married to someone who had to plan every detail, time schedule, etc. Ugh.

    However, my Hubby of 27 years now, is pretty adventurous/spontaneous. We've planned 2-week trips on simply going to a certain area, then exploring it. Going wherever curiosity took us. One vacation was following old train beds offroad in a Jeep Wrangler, through Colorado's Gold County. Another trip was spur of the moment, as in "We've never seen Nova Scotia" - so we packed the car and left 3 days later :-)
  • novio50
    novio50 Posts: 778 Member
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    Is there a such a thing as a 1/3rd life crisis? I've been married for 6 years and it feels like we both are tired of the way our lives are. We agree we both need a change (drastically), but it's like I've just gotten so "blah" about the hum drums of life. Is married life a dance of getting up for work, working, coming home, taking care of kid(s), and then being too tired to talk to your significant other? Are there any pointers on breaking out of that monotonous cycle? Has anyone been there? I can't be the only one...
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited August 2016
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    novio50 wrote: »
    Is there a such a thing as a 1/3rd life crisis? I've been married for 6 years and it feels like we both are tired of the way our lives are. We agree we both need a change (drastically), but it's like I've just gotten so "blah" about the hum drums of life. Is married life a dance of getting up for work, working, coming home, taking care of kid(s), and then being too tired to talk to your significant other? Are there any pointers on breaking out of that monotonous cycle? Has anyone been there? I can't be the only one...

    Maybe that's what they call the seven year itch concept. I know it's difficult to have energy if life is tiring. But, the only advice I have is to talk about it, and what you like and want. And then add into your life together new, fun, exciting activities, treat it like you would if you were newly dating. In the bedroom and outside of the bedroom. Don't let it get mundane. Do stuff to change that. And dress up for eachother, or help her pick out lingerie. Touch eachother at unexpected moments. Give eachother compliments. Have spontaneous moments. Another idea is not to schedule sex because that makes it mundane. But, if you need to schedule it have it be a surprise. Where only one of you makes the plan and surprises the other and you each do this at different times.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    @RunRachelleRun

    And

    @BinaryPulsar

    Great stories, ladies. Amazing.

    Binary, I wanna make a cameron crowe movie out of that story with Tom Petty and fleetwood mac in the soundtrack.

    My husband got the idea to build the secret door into the attic from a movie called Real Genius.
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    novio50 wrote: »
    Is there a such a thing as a 1/3rd life crisis? I've been married for 6 years and it feels like we both are tired of the way our lives are. We agree we both need a change (drastically), but it's like I've just gotten so "blah" about the hum drums of life. Is married life a dance of getting up for work, working, coming home, taking care of kid(s), and then being too tired to talk to your significant other? Are there any pointers on breaking out of that monotonous cycle? Has anyone been there? I can't be the only one...
    Been married 2 years and there's been so many problems, broski. I feel for you. My problems are different but I don't struggle with monotony.

    I have no real advice but I think you can ride it out.

    I was so young when I met and married my husband, although it seems so foolish now and I certainly wouldn't want my son to get married so young, I also I think it had its advantages. We started out not at all set in our ways and grew our annoying habits together so they may have been easier to adjust to. Do those of you who were married after let's say 30 think that makes a difference? Having spent a number of years focused on doing whatever you wanted, does it make it more difficult to adjust to sharing/compromising for both of you?

    I find my husband irritating enough, but I'm used to it, like a drunk relative you tolerate and oftentimes find amusing. I honestly can't imagine trying to adjust to someone else's quirks now. I think thirty is around when I started to become more inflexible (not just physically) in my expectations of others.
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    @novio50 You definitely need you and your wife time. Sometimes it gets hard to remember what you saw in each other. A few date nights will remind you. The best line about marriage is from the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin. His mother at the end talks about roller coasters and carousels

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