Marriage Proposal and Being Fat
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cherrypeach1 wrote: »Do you feels it's important to look and feel your best when your significant other proposes marriage to you?
At the time of the proposal? No.
At the time of wedding pictures? Yes. In fact, that's why I'm here.1 -
Isn't it good if when you get proposed you are at your worst possible shape and you still get proposed?
That means he/she has looked beyond the physical aspect. Propose them back!5 -
kshama2001 wrote: »cherrypeach1 wrote: »Do you feels it's important to look and feel your best when your significant other proposes marriage to you?
At the time of the proposal? No.
At the time of wedding pictures? Yes. In fact, that's why I'm here.
Oh wow! Congrats!
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Well I wouldn't want to do it while standing in a vat of raw sewage but the fact that somebody was asking me to marry him would make me feel pretty good on its own. Of course, I think that out-of-the-blue proposals are silly and that people should discuss getting married before actually getting engaged.
Are you talking about waiting to lose weight/get in shape before getting engaged or are you talking about being dressed up or what? This is a vague question.
I mean ... Do you often stand in vats of raw sewage?4 -
To me a proposal is not a public event. My proposal wasn't on YouTube (or wouldn't have been if YouTube had been around then. ) We were in 90 degree weather, had been walking around all day, and he popped the question at a certain spot that he thought was cute. It was over 30 years ago and I remember it, but for the life of me I could not tell you how I was dressed or what my hair looked like. But I can tell you how I felt. (I'm smiling now.)11
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my husband and i got married at my heaviest weight of my life, and you know what? we're still together, still in love and my weight when he proposed and when we got married didn't change that. there's so much more to our relationship.
btw, i never stand in vats of raw sewage
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Well I wouldn't want to do it while standing in a vat of raw sewage but the fact that somebody was asking me to marry him would make me feel pretty good on its own. Of course, I think that out-of-the-blue proposals are silly and that people should discuss getting married before actually getting engaged.
Are you talking about waiting to lose weight/get in shape before getting engaged or are you talking about being dressed up or what? This is a vague question.
I mean ... Do you often stand in vats of raw sewage?
Breastfed babies have a tendency to not go for days and then suddenly go all Mt. Vesuvius at the most inopportune times. So, yeah, it's happened.7 -
I cant say that how I look would be the first thing on my mind when getting proposed to, but I'd for sure prefer to look back on the moment and feel good about all of it (including how I looked). Though, I think its all very personal, some people are most comfortable in sweats and make-up free lounging around with their partners. I, on the other hand, enjoy throwing on a nice sundress and maybe some lip stain even if we wont be leaving the house...0
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I was less worried about the proposal and now am more worried about my actual wedding day. Is it important to me? Yes, but I value my health and want to look and feel my best. Is it important to him? Absolutely not. I wouldn't be marrying him if my weight dictated getting married or not. He loves me for me.
Edited for spelling error.0 -
Is your boyfriend planning on popping the question soon or is this just a long off thought that popped into your head?0
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Important to who?0
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »JessicaMcB wrote: »Honestly looking back I wish I hadn't been so overweight when we got engaged (and obese when we got married). When I look at our wedding pictures I look terrible and its fairly stressful now that I've lost most of the weight trying to figure out if they can even resize my very expensive wedding set appropriately
So get new ones made.
When I say expensive I mean thousands of dollars, pretty sure my husband would have an aneurysm if we had to replace them over sizing issues only five years in
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cherrypeach1 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »cherrypeach1 wrote: »Do you feels it's important to look and feel your best when your significant other proposes marriage to you?
At the time of the proposal? No.
At the time of wedding pictures? Yes. In fact, that's why I'm here.
Oh wow! Congrats!
Thanks! There was no actual bended knee proposal, just a gradual realization that we want to spend the rest of our lives together and that we want to be married when we buy a house.
The first proposal that I accepted, when I was 20, was rather more romantic, lol.1 -
lauragreenbaum148 wrote: »Important to who?
Important to you.0 -
JessicaMcB wrote: »Honestly looking back I wish I hadn't been so overweight when we got engaged (and obese when we got married). When I look at our wedding pictures I look terrible and its fairly stressful now that I've lost most of the weight trying to figure out if they can even resize my very expensive wedding set appropriately
Have you gotten quotes for resizing or are you just stressing about it? (This is not a snarky question - I can relate - my stress becomes manageable when I stop fretting and start acting.)0 -
My engagement story is funny and more memorable because of the way I looked the day he proposed. It was HOT, we were at the cottage, it was labour Day and I hadn't shaved or washed my hair in three days. I was wearing my bra and panties because I wanted to tan and he had given me a card for the anniversary of our first date (10 years earlier) which ended with him saying "when you're done crying (he always writes sappy cards) come see me and I will tell you the rest". I looked at him and he said "we should get married" and my first reaction was seriously "WTF! Dude! Look at me!" . He didn't care then and wouldn't care now....but I did and do.... I said yes, (natch) and when we got the ring he took me to the first place we saw each other and asked again, that time I was a little more pulled together.7
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OK, proposal story incoming.
So after dating for 4 years (all through college), my husband had this whole thing planned. First, his aunts took us to the art museum, a brewery tour, and out to lunch at an Irish Pub. We went back to his place to change and clean up for a nice dinner that night. We had about 2 hours to kill and after getting cleaned up I fell asleep (still in my towels) watching TV. That big softie couldn't wake me up because he said "I looked too adorable" so he cancelled the reservation and ordered pizza.
When I woke up, he was sitting next to me and asked me to marry him. I was so shocked I fell off the couch and my towel unraveled. So...not sure if I was looking my best. At least I was clean! I certainly felt my best though!
I usually tell that story without the whole "I was naked" thing though. It works better for the family crowd .
That was 13 years ago. Looking back, the important thing for us wasn't that one day, or even the wedding day. They're good stories to tell the kids, but that's all. It's the accumulation of each successive day since then that we've been able to spend together, whether we're at out best or at our worst. Good luck!
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No...I find the idea that these things are all about looks very strange.
Is there a backstory here?3 -
cherrypeach1 wrote: »Do you feels it's important to look and feel your best when your significant other proposes marriage to you?
This kind of assumes you know when they are going to propose. I got proposed to in the shower. With soap in my hair. I believe that if your significant other proposes to you they aren't waiting for you to look or feel a certain way - they just love you and want to be with you, right?2 -
Kimberly_Harper wrote: »cherrypeach1 wrote: »Do you feels it's important to look and feel your best when your significant other proposes marriage to you?
This kind of assumes you know when they are going to propose. I got proposed to in the shower. With soap in my hair. I believe that if your significant other proposes to you they aren't waiting for you to look or feel a certain way - they just love you and want to be with you, right?
I agree. He already loves me the way I am today. It's more about how I feel about myself.
P.S. I hope you didn't get soap in your eyes! 1 -
When my husband proposed, we were only 18, him barely even, and I basically said ask me later...way too young, lol. He didn't even have a ring, but a picture of one he wanted to buy, ha! He never really asked again. I asked him one time much later why he didn't just propose and he said he wasn't going to because last time I said no. Apparently, I damaged his poor 18 year old boy ego and he was still upset about it. 5 years after that proposal, I finally felt ready and we kind of just decided to do it and bought rings. Our 2 year anniversary is in about 2 weeks.
I honestly do not remember at all what I looked like at the time. I do remember the panic, though. Haha...
To add, I was 40 lbs heavier in my wedding pictures, and that doesn't bother me at all. I still look at them and just see two very happy people. I was so happy and it definitely shows. I wouldn't change those photos for anything.
ETA: thinking back on it, it was so sweet when he asked. Down on one knee and everything. I'm really lucky he's the man he is, because being rejected after working up all that courage would have been too much for a lot of people. In my mind, then, I wasn't rejecting him, and it wasn't until later that I understood that's exactly what I did. Hence why I was far too young for that kind of decision. Emotional development and all that. Feels now like we were just babies back then. I'm older than him but he's always been the more steady and responsible one in our relationship.1 -
cherrypeach1 wrote: »
I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. My boyfriend and I are going on vacation next week too, and I know he is going to propose while we are there. I have some cute dresses packed to wear while we are there but I'm not going to worry about what I'm wearing or how much I weigh when he does it. I'm just going to enjoy the moment and go back to my weight loss efforts when I get home.1 -
My fiancé proposed to me after I had washed all my make up off, put on my pjs, and my hair was a mess. We had a huge dinner that night (it was actually our anniversary) so I was feeling so bloated and gross. Apparently he still wanted to marry me!3
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I was skinny when my husband and I met in 2004. I was overweight most of our relationship, fat when he proposed, and even fatter we got married in 2014.
I look at pictures and yeah, I wish I had tried harder to lose weight before. But honestly, those wishes are nothing compared to the happy memories I have of those days. (This coming from someone who had to have a panel put in just so I could close my dress, even though it was corset-style which is VERY forgiving of weight gain and loss!)2 -
We were hiking up a mountain, so I was in workout clothes, had a backpack on, sweaty, and my hair was a mess. And he has it on video. I don't mind everyone seeing the video because we both look happy, and that's what's important.3
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When my husband proposed to me, I was at my highest weight EVER. I was disappointed but all I wanted was to marry him and everything else fell away. Before our wedding date I tried so hard to lose weight and it just didn't happen for me. So, I got married "fat." Again I was disappointed but the joy of being married to him outweighed (lol) any of my insecurities. We are planning a vow renewal for the distant future (like, in 10 years) so maybe I will have lost the weight by then
My husband has told me I'm beautiful even when I didn't feel it. He loves me just as much at 240lbs than he did at 170lbs.1 -
kshama2001 wrote: »JessicaMcB wrote: »Honestly looking back I wish I hadn't been so overweight when we got engaged (and obese when we got married). When I look at our wedding pictures I look terrible and its fairly stressful now that I've lost most of the weight trying to figure out if they can even resize my very expensive wedding set appropriately
Have you gotten quotes for resizing or are you just stressing about it? (This is not a snarky question - I can relate - my stress becomes manageable when I stop fretting and start acting.)
We went back to the jeweller and they said they can't size it down more than a size and a half because of the half pave bands . So hopefully my final ring size won't be under a 6 or we're gonna have a problem. If I had my time back I would've lost the weight to avoid this issue. 0 -
Um.... I had no idea my husband was going to propose when he did!
Also, I was 260lbs when he did propose.... He loves me for me, not for my eight or ability to lose weight.
That's hot.LazyButHealthy wrote: »cherrypeach1 wrote: »Do you feels it's important to look and feel your best when your significant other proposes marriage to you?
How do you know when someone's about to propose to you? By the time they're on one knee it's a bit odd to go do a few push ups
Looool. Can you imagine?
Darling, I love you with all my heart and it would make me the happiest man in all the world if you could...DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!
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