Lost sex drive?

Options
12345679»

Replies

  • Alice_NotInONEderland
    Alice_NotInONEderland Posts: 20 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    I only read the OP. I'm sure you've had other replies saying a lot of this stuff but I'll mention what comes to my mind anyway.

    For me libido involves so many complicated things, for example, right now I've got some stuff going on with my job that requires a lot of mental energy so I have zero drive. I also have zero drive sometimes from medications I use as needed, enough too much caffeine can kill it for me. "Dieting" also kills my libido but I think I'm in the minority there.

    So, if you have any specific stress, change to your diet, any medications (especially birth control, if you're using one, I've included more on that below), supplements or anything else that you think might be throwing you off look into it. I mean really analyze everything you do.

    One of the things I've experienced that caused me (and friends of mine) the worst problems with sex drive is birth control. Any hormonal birth control can mess you up in that way, even if you had been taking it with no issues at first. BC like depo-provera, norplant or any Progestin only solution tend to have the potential to cause the most problems.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Options
    Talk to your doctor. Could be a hormone imbalance.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    Options
    Francl27 wrote: »
    strebor337 wrote: »
    Honestly I can't really offer an unbiased response on this topic. I've been dealing with this in my marriage for years and it sucks. I don't want to be mean or harsh because I know that when you don't want it you just don't want it, but I feel really strongly that you have to make sure that you figure out some other way to express affection for your partner and make sure that their emotional needs are being met.

    Alright, I have to throw it out there though - since when does sex equal emotional needs? Because men can behave like jerks then except sex, and it couldn't be farther from 'emotion'. I'd even go as far as to say that, as far as I'm concerned, if THEY meet my emotional needs, I'll be more likely to be willing to have sex.

    Sex is just one part of meeting emotional needs. It is a bonding experience in which couples demonstrate their love and desire for each other. It's not everything, nor is it unimportant. I mean if you've been married a while you know how many different things contribute to meeting each other's emotional needs and how complex the interactions are between all those things.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
    Options
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Bbg340340 wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    tuckerrj wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Been married for 13 years. We have sex maybe twice a year. I'm just not into it anymore... I know my husband isn't happy but it's just really uncomfortable for me to force myself to do it. Losing weight didn't change anything (except make it harder for him probably).

    Honestly though, it doesn't help that I'm a SAHM and with kids over me all day the last thing I want is being touched. And to be fair, I'm not really attracted by my husband anymore either.. so it doesn't really help... but I was never really into sex in the first place, truth be told.

    But if he has sex outside of your marriage, he's the bad guy, right???

    Honestly? I wouldn't care.

    Why are you two still married? Just asking

    I'm a SAHM and I don't have any money. But we get along well (usually). We bicker a lot about things but I suppose that's normal after almost 15 years together. It's just that the spark has been gone for a while for me.. and we don't connect emotionally much anymore either (too tired at night, he gets home and does his things, the only thing we do together is watching TV)... so that really doesn't make me want to have sex (oh hi honey, I haven't really talked to you in ages but can we have sex? No thank you).

    I just don't think it's that uncommon when you've been together for such a long time and have kids. But it's not like I'd be interested in having sex elsewhere either... Personally, I need those 'emotional needs' met before even thinking about sex. I need the connection. It just hasn't been there in a long time.

    The bottom line though... I'm not sure it would be different with someone else. Even if I had money to move, met someone else, who knows that it wouldn't be the same after 15 years too?

    I think you just revealed the problem. You are not happy in the relationship right now. It is difficult to desire sex with someone you are not happy with. How about couples counseling?
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    Options
    Small children never created problems for me... If anything it forced things to get more fun and creative. Like if you want some you got about 15 mins to get in here and take it because when Elmo's over you lost your chance! I think it's just different with everybody. The only time I noticed my drive going away is when our marriage went downhill due to his infidelities.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    Glad to hear things are better! Getting fit and being active definitely increases sex drive. And anything that makes you feel alive. Good idea about going on a trip together! That will be great.

    Having kids didn't decrease my sex drive. We couldn't go out as much when they were little. I had my excitement at home at night with my husband. And they were asleep and tiny and had no idea what was going on in the house. But, I have always had a high sex drive.
  • edup1975
    edup1975 Posts: 486 Member
    Options
    Mine is in overdrive!

Categories