Alright ladies... crazy things men have said to you... go!

RodSuarez
RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
in Chit-Chat
Alright ladies... crazy things men have said to you... go!

I wish someone can say something better than this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q_EflmJ-l8

And guys you are allowed to join to: crazy things ladies or other man have said to you.
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Replies

  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
    I was turning on the gas at a pizza shop. The owner (in broken Italian) says, "You come to my other shop for lunch. We have pizza, maybe more." He was about 80 years old. Priceless.
  • lightdiva1
    lightdiva1 Posts: 935 Member
    "You had better get horizontal quick."

    Fyi- I was at rehearsal and dead tired...still made me rethink giving this man a ride home.
  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
    "Will you marry me?" I was 17. No. Just no.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    I was turning on the gas at a pizza shop. The owner (in broken Italian) says, "You come to my other shop for lunch. We have pizza, maybe more." He was about 80 years old. Priceless.

    :Rofl:
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    "You had better get horizontal quick."

    Fyi- I was at rehearsal and dead tired...still made me rethink giving this man a ride home.
    if I said the same thing, would you take me home?
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    "Will you marry me?" I was 17. No. Just no.
    -high 5- smart girl
  • mrswine
    mrswine Posts: 263 Member
    On a first date: What are you going to do with those things in 20 years? (Referring to my breasts)

    Yeah... I'm marrying that one.
  • theepervette
    theepervette Posts: 638 Member
    is that your natural hair color?

    can you throw your hair back in forth for a porn star?

    can you pull your shirt down a little lower so i can see your tattoos?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Let me put the tip in nothing else.

    What???? :noway:
  • lightdiva1
    lightdiva1 Posts: 935 Member
    "You had better get horizontal quick."

    Fyi- I was at rehearsal and dead tired...still made me rethink giving this man a ride home.
    if I said the same thing, would you take me home?

    Probably, I need to hear you roll your Rs first.:wink:
  • xstarxdustx
    xstarxdustx Posts: 591 Member
    I've got nothing. In here to read. :)
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    On a first date: What are you going to do with those things in 20 years? (Referring to my breasts)

    Yeah... I'm marrying that one.
    and tell me what are you going to do?
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
    "Good lord honey! You're givin' me the vapors!" (In a very thick southern accent. Adorable.)

    "Will you buy me ice cream? I don't have any fabric." (Pretty sure he was just really drunk or high)

    "Come here you sweet little redheaded thing. I can make a haole girl holla!" (I thought it was kind of clever to be honest)

    "Don't look now, but there's a man in a chicken suit following you." (There wasn't)
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    "You had better get horizontal quick."

    Fyi- I was at rehearsal and dead tired...still made me rethink giving this man a ride home.
    if I said the same thing, would you take me home?

    Probably, I need to hear you roll your Rs first.:wink:
    I once made a lesbian orgasm when I said my name "Rodrigo" and she wishes she liked guys.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    from the video I posted (and am pretty sure nobody watched). It is a song titled 15 pounds.


    You’ve got the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen
    Don’t think any ocean comes in a shade of such amazing blue-green
    You know your disposition is sweeter than any perfume
    And with that million-dollar smile of yours, you cannot help but light up the room
    All it took was one look at you baby
    With that music playing softly and slow
    All it took was one look at you baby
    For a man like me to know

    You’re just fifteen pounds away from my love, baby
    A touch too much of pie a la mode
    You’re just fifteen pounds away from my love, baby
    You’re carrying too wide of a load

    I took you out to dinner,
    The conversation flowed like wine
    I took you on the dance floor and I
    Gotta say your mambo was divine
    I kissed you and I knew
    I’d never have to be lonely
    But a little voice inside me said
    Man…oh man…If only…
    All it took was one look at you baby
    And I knew that I could show you to mom
    But when it comes to showing you off
    In front of every **** and Harry and Tom

    You’re just 15 pounds away from my love, baby
    Put back a calamari or two
    You’re just 15 pounds away from my love, baby
    Amazing what some freeweights can do

    If you really want my heart to flip, girl
    Put on some size four jeans and make em zip, girl
    If you want some roses by the bunches
    On the floor and let me see some stomach crunches
    If you want to hear that you are the one
    Break out those Puma’s honey – go for a run
    Let’s re-up those health club dues
    Baby what have we got to lose?

    Just…fifteen pounds away from my love, baby…
    You take the cake, baby…you really take it
    Just 15 pounds away from my love, baby
    Just a little treadmill and I think we can make it…

    Needless to say, that man is not my husband. And I really didn’t think about him again…until I ran into him seven years later.

    I ran into him in front of Carmine’s with his brand new wife…
    I don’t think I’d ever seen such a stick in all of my life
    And I have to admit – that it filled my heart with glee…
    To see that he himself had gained a pound or two…or seventy three

    He was FIFTY pounds away from my love, baby
    5-0 Baby! The truth hurts!
    He was FIFTY pounds away from my love, baby
    Guess he got his just desserts.

    Guess he got his just desserts.

    He’s carrying too wide of a load…
  • SaltWaterTaffy78
    SaltWaterTaffy78 Posts: 375 Member
    "I can explain"... my neighbour was straddling my ex's lap... naked... both of them.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    "I can explain"... my neighbour was straddling my ex's lap... naked... both of them.
    Did he explain? I would like to her that.
  • lightdiva1
    lightdiva1 Posts: 935 Member
    from the video I posted (and am pretty sure nobody watched). It is a song titled 15 pounds.

    Where did you post the video and why are you not on FL?
  • randysbombshellgirl
    randysbombshellgirl Posts: 338 Member
    Ok this was a long time ago when I worked @ a pizza place and we wore these nasty tight polyester uniforms. I was bending over to pick something off the floor not noticing these 2 gorgeous guys behind me. They said and I quote she has a great body too bad we're gay.
  • Dead_Darling
    Dead_Darling Posts: 478 Member
    At a water park in Dubai three years ago, a Saudi Arabian "businessman" approached me. He was telling me how he's staying at one of the nice hotels in Dubai and then proceeded with this gem, "I have three wives in Saudi. Would you like to be my fourth?"

    Also, on that same holiday, a shop owner chased me down the street shouting, "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU?!"

    Aside from that I do recommend going to Dubai for a holiday :happy:
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member


    "Come here you sweet little redheaded thing. I can make a haole girl holla!" (I thought it was kind of clever to be honest)

    Normally being called a haole would make me rage. But alliteration is enough of a funny thing that I would pause, too.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    from the video I posted (and am pretty sure nobody watched). It is a song titled 15 pounds.

    Where did you post the video and why are you not on FL?

    link in the original post, and I have no idea, I just send you a new request <3
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    Ok this was a long time ago when I worked @ a pizza place and we wore these nasty tight polyester uniforms. I was bending over to pick something off the floor not noticing these 2 gorgeous guys behind me. They said and. I quote she has agreat body too bad we're gay.
    That is why being bisexual is the best thing ever.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    At a water park in Dubai three years ago, a Saudi Arabian "businessman" approached. He was telling me how he's staying at one of the nice hotels in Dubai and then proceeded with this gem, "I have three wives in Saudi. Would you like to be my fourth?"

    Also, on that same holiday, a shop owner chased me down the street shouting, "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU?!"

    Aside from that I do recommend recommend going to Dubai for a holiday :happy:
    LOL
  • Codename_Duchess
    Codename_Duchess Posts: 2,042 Member
    "You look familiar...did you go to M**** Elementary School? I used to substitute there. We should go have a drink."

    wklrtl.gif

    I think I was 20ish at the time, the dude was at least 35. This always stands out as one of those, "WTF?!" moments. I mean, elementary, dude? Really? :shudder:
  • SaltWaterTaffy78
    SaltWaterTaffy78 Posts: 375 Member
    "I can explain"... my neighbour was straddling my ex's lap... naked... both of them.
    Did he explain? I would like to her that.

    He tried.. said something about it being nothing to which the other girl replied with "I thought I was special to you all these years". Years... plural... we were together for 11 months... he tried to say more but I was already looking for my baseball bat.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    My ex told me a BJ "doesn't count" unless it lasts 40 minutes.

    LOLOL

    There's a reason he is my ex.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    "I can explain"... my neighbour was straddling my ex's lap... naked... both of them.
    Did he explain? I would like to her that.

    He tried.. said something about it being nothing to which the other girl replied with "I thought I was special to you all these years". Years... plural... we were together for 11 months... he tried to say more but I was already looking for my baseball bat.
    LOL I was expecting him to be more intelligent. Next time use the nutcraker darling.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    My ex told me a BJ "doesn't count" unless it lasts 40 minutes.

    LOLOL

    There's a reason he is my ex.
    It doesn't.
  • lightdiva1
    lightdiva1 Posts: 935 Member
    My ex told me a BJ "doesn't count" unless it lasts 40 minutes.

    LOLOL

    There's a reason he is my ex.

    I would say, "You can't make it 40 seconds... what do I do for other 39 minutes?"

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