WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2016
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Heather- thank you for sharing your holiday with us! I'm so happy that you had such great adventures to share!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
heather I love that you are not even off the cruise and you are working on duolingo for Spanish already. I think that is amazing (pip like if I can draw that comparison). Finally you can share more pics with us!!
My summer plan to help DOS is starting to take shape. More details about that later but the work and my "vacation" in Philadelphia starts beginning of July. Making plans to stay on track now so I don't go completely off the rails as stressful family dynamics trigger my out of control eating (and wine, there will be wine)
The smallest steps are still steps... Just thought of that sounds like it belongs on a fridge magnet!!2 -
NYKAREN 0 -
Morning all!
I promised I'd put this up, my next opinion article, skip it if the "perception vs. reality" thought process doesn't intrigue you...
It’s all a lie we tell ourselves, you know
Warning: I’m about to get philosophical about how humans think. Caveat: I could be wrong.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about human perception because of the recent Orlando massacre. More than 100 people were killed or wounded by this guy whose name I won’t publish because a) it’s been published enough, and b) I refuse to encourage someone else to try to write their name in the history books through something similarly horrible.
I know the gun and bullets were the means of their death. But they died because humans believe what they perceive. They died because this man had a notion he apparently could not shake. We’ll never know what was in his head—which won’t stop my fellow news-critters from speculating—all we know is the trail of destruction and doom he left behind.
It’s obvious though, that his perceptions lied to him. Human perception of the world shapes our thinking in ways we seldom acknowledge or even recognize.
Color, for instance, exists only because we do. More specifically, because our ability to perceive and name colors exists. All the different colors we have names for are simply variations in how an object reflects light. The shirt I have on absorbs all the colors of the spectrum of the light except blue, which it reflects back at me. It’s pretty much blue because I say it’s blue. You’re welcome to say it’s green. I know it’s blue.
However, if I use dye to change it to purple, I’ve just changed how the material reflects light, from blue to a combination of blue and red, which our vision perceives in a way we have named purple.
To bring it home a little more to my Texans reading this—have you ever brushed your hand over suede? When you brush your hand one way, the color lightens. Smooth it the other way, and it gets darker. You’re not changing the color; you’re changing the way light reflects off it. You can tell yourself you’re changing the color, but you’d be wrong. You’ve changed the way the fibers orient themselves, and they now reflect light differently.
Color linguistics theory, which may prove scientists have too much time on their hands, states that every language humans speak has terms for black and white, even if those are the only two colors recognized. If the language has three terms, the third term is for the color red. If there are only four, the fourth is either for yellow or green, but not both. If only five, both yellow and green. It goes on from there, for pages.
The reason I used color as an illustration is because we’ve shorthanded human hatred with color terms, as well, including white, black, red, yellow and so on. Interestingly enough, the first four color terms human languages recognize. The metaphor falls apart at green, although “little green men,” comes to mind as a term for aliens. Why were there no little green women? Or big ones for that matter?
Yanking myself back to my original thought, perception is probably what killed those people in Orlando. If the latest media theory is correct, the shooter was gay, hated himself for being gay, and hated everyone else who was gay, so decided to go to a gay club and kill as many of them as he could. Perhaps his incredibly flawed perception made him think if there were no other gay people to be attracted to, he could finally stop hating himself. It’s a possibility, but we’ll never know.
Our perceptions change the world. Both ours and others. I read something the other day that said, “If your religion demands that you hate people, it’s time for a new religion.” Radical Muslims learn to hate non-Muslims, with religion as the ostensible basis. Ordinary Muslims do not. Both base their actions on the same book, the Koran, same prophet, Mohammed, but an incredibly different perception of what is demanded. I bring this up because the shooter claimed he was part of ISIS to justify the massacre he perpetrated.
Perception is an illusion, not reality. But real people died and real people got hurt, and real people are grieving for their loved ones now, because of an illusion.
We all need to start mistrusting our perceptions. I’ve often said perception is reality—but only to the individual. Simplifying, I know, but thinking they’re fat, among other things, drives anorexics to starve themselves. Thinking skin color matters gives us an excuse to hate.
Think you can’t and you won’t.
Think you can and you will.
I’m thinking out loud we all need to mistrust our perceptions.
Next week: The nature of reality in general.
Maybe.
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Talked to my husband a lot over the last couple days about the job thing, and asked him a question that really got him thinking, instead of simply reacting. I asked him, "What would it take to make you want to stay in the job?"
He called his boss, and the gist of it was, a) he wants to be in Fort Stockton with me, b) he would be willing to drive to and from the ranch each day (and a few other people do), c) he hasn't had a raise in more than a year. So, what he offered as a solution was that he get a raise that basically pays him for drive time, which at his current salary would bump him up quite a bit (like ten or twelve grand a year). We move completely out of the house on the ranch and into town, which relieves them of the expense of our staying there, plus frees up our house for the owner's son-in-law, which would give him both an office and a place to sleep besides the bunkroom of the big house, as well as a place for his wife and kids to come and stay, etc. It sounds to us like a good solution. Will it sound like that to them? Who knows.
But, what it does do is keep him in a job that he genuinely likes, even though they do make him crazy, keeps our health insurance, etc., intact until I can get him on mine, and helps make them aware that he doesn't want to leave, but will in order to get what we need, which is to be together. Burning bridges is seldom a good idea, and this keeps him from doing that. They're good people, if a little chaotic (OK, a lot chaotic), and it should be interesting. If they flat turn him down, he'll simply keep looking for another job until he finds one.
Anyway - the sale was successful, if not ragingly so. However, it may get even more successful today. One customer said she wants a number of the large pieces of furniture, but didn't have the cash yesterday. She is supposed to be back with a truck today to pick up and pay for all of them, around five p.m. Will she show? Not sure--but if she does, it will almost double the take from the sale, as she'd be getting all four eight-foot tall cabinets and both beds. Hope she's got tall ceilings. These are all massive! So, fingers crossed.
It feels like a massive burden lifted, to have the sales off my plate until the fall. Two jobs is definitely one too many. We'll see how it all turns out in the end.
Thank you to all for the good wishes on both the sale and the DH's job. Karen in VA, what a lovely compliment that was for me and my husband.
Speaking of which, my husband's mother died yesterday. She abandoned 11 of her 12 children (seriously) and her husband when my husband was 13 years old, taking only the youngest daughter with her. He's not seen her since, though the older sisters have gone to see her a few times. I asked him how he felt about her death, and his answer was that, as far as he was concerned, she died the day she left. Most of her grandchildren never even met her, including our two kids. I ache for them all, but respect his right to his own emotional substructure. It explains a lot about who he is now.
Love y'all,
Lisa in West Texas2 -
Lisa Nice editorial - you are a talent.
HeatherUK Love that you are starting the Spanish Duolingo. I am going to have to look into Duolingo. Just curious as I can't remember. Are you & Penny both heading back to your individual homes at about the same time? I loved going on your Norway & North Pole journey.
@desanders68 Welcome! I am Karen in Virginia. What is your moniker?
Pip I made another little contribution in memory of some other little children including Gloria's Alexander aka Superman even though he didn't die from cancer. You are my hero.
Joyce in Indiana Yes, as you know, zoysia tends to fill the space its in and go beyond, albeit not as rampantly as Bermudagrass. We could use a trimmer every week and have nice crisp borders but that is so not us. So once a year we get out our wonderful Japanese root knives and cut deeply along the inside of the curb straight through the chunk of grass and then just sort of peel it off the curb, taking some roots as we go, and transplant it into bare (sunny) areas. I have given up hoping it will ever grow in the shade although this variety has that potential. We started with a lot of hard work using plugs 3 years ago, and by the end of this summer, our sunny front lawn will be almost 100% zoysia with hardly a weed or a blade of crabgrass anywhere. So much better than the weedlawn we started out with. You could probably plug that hole in Charlie's belly with a zoysia plug. No, seriously, if it isn't healing well it could be a bacteria thing, maybe you need 1/4 strength Dakin's or something, just ask your surgeon. For the butt, too. Just a thought.
Michele It isn't supposed to be cakey...sounds like a disaster...
...so embarrassed. Ugh. I will make it and see what the deal is so I can rectify this baking travesty that has occurred. Never fear. It always came out gooey brownies when I used to make it. I never did try to turn it out but cut it in the pan and lifted the individual brownies out to serve or wrap in saran wrap. They usually disappeared too fast to worry about their disposition too much.
Kim I want to go on that camping trip. And make the zucchini bread with the orange in it.
Barbie I am sorry for Jake's pain. Hope he will have a remedy soon, as daily debilitating pain is spirit-breaking. I am glad he has you, but I know it takes a big toll on you, too.
Margaret The Fairy Garden I didn't add the Galapagos to my bucket list until after I went. 
Allie I actually do believe it would freak the mean dentist out to walk in to the room and see you sitting there, perhaps with the drill in one hand and a probe in the other, saying, "don't be afraid, my precious, just come on in and we'll talk a bit" as the door locks behind him. Oh my imagination is a bit sadistic I am afraid. I am just pi$$ed off at this guy for bullying you.
I have to work today like Kirby. And it looks like it is going to be such a pretty day...W-w-aahhh!
Does anyone have any communication with Vicki in Grand Island? She posted about the cancer on her arm & needing a wider excision & then disappeared.
Cheri
Karen in Virginia1 -
Karen in VA ~ Yesterday, DH and I plugged zoysia into one area of our front lawn that is weedy and bare. I started all of this with just a very few plugs and have been amazed at how it has spread. We got the Amazoy brand that you order on line. You are right about it being mostly weed free. We do have a problem with wild violets trying to take over. I had one lawn care company come and try to take care of it and they killed all the grass but the violets. Luckily the zoysia came back.
Carol1 -
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Good morning everyone! I hope you get to enjoy your Father's Day with your loved ones!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
Margaret, I love the fairy garden!1
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Good Morning lovely ladies~
And Happy Father's Day to all the dad's that are attached to all of you...
just a stunning day here in Connecticut.. went down and fed DFIL he has been cranky and disruptive the last day or 2, but at lunchtime I will run to McDonalds and get him his favorite, hamburger,fries and a vanilla milk shake.. and spend lunch time with him.. Tom brought Homer(Killer) down to visit, how they love to see him..
Faith was asleep by 6 last night and was awake early so took care of her and will get her lunch together before I go, then will be back after that to make dinner for her,,,
Sean ,Jean and Dad will be going up to Lake Winnie to Jeans familys place up there to check on it and visit withmy aunt June who is acutally a cousin but is 8 yrs younger than my dad.. she is end stage COPD and her son lives right next door, she, my dad and my dads brother,my uncle are the only ones left of that generation..sorta mind blowing because that means we are the generation that I remember as kids that they were OY..
My dad is really enjoying himself this weekend and it makes my heart happy,wish I was with them but know that I am helping them do what they can and that Faith is in safe hands..I will make him his favorite nut cookies his mom used to make for father's day I know that would thrill him to pieces..
He will have a busy summer, with this weekend, then going with me for 4th of July weekend and then Sean and Jeans wedding ...
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Morning all!
Arrived home from Milwaukee via Chicago and Fishers, IN very close to the midnight mark on the clock. Tired and needing my own bed!
Will try and catch up with posts later today! Love that we share so much of our lives but geesh is it ever so hard to catch up when we step away for a day or 2 or 3....
Hubs and I weren't overly impressed with the area but should he accept the position in WI we could manage. On the way home he received another offer....this one is in Texas (College Station). This is one he really wants. Career Services in a Graduate School of a top college/university. So it looks like I will just get the laundry done and off to Texas we will go to see the area! We have always wanted to live in a college town to take advantage of all that it offers. AND NO MORE SNOW!!!
Hope all of you are enjoying a wonderful day. Wishing all the dads in your lives a Happy Father's day. Think of you all everyday. Appreciate to the moon and back all your support!
Cheri
Sunny NE oHIo soon to be in......??2 -
morning peeps!2
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Cheri ~ So hoping your DH gets the job he wants.
Pip ~ You are amazing! Wish I had a thimbleful of the energy you put out every day.
Happy Father's Day! Waiting for the grand kids and DnL to come by and will take them to Chinese if they want to go.
Carol3 -
just saw the donation keystonedaren!! thank you so much!!! u alone put me over $100!! YOU ARE MY HERO!!2
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OK girls, I've got one or two pics up for you. You've already seen some of Penny and me, so here are a few others.
Back shot of DH as we were approaching Svalbard.
Penny's town, Longyearbyen, as seen from my cabin door.
Pyramiden. You can see a back view of Lenin witH the glacier in the background.
Formal night. This is the dress I bought on impulse and will be taking to Mexico.
That's it for now folks. These are a few of those that I took on my phone. DH had the camera and has thousands.
Still unpacking.
Heather UK
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Peach - thanks.. all i do is try.
thanks :0)2 -
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Got the camera pics downloaded.
one of me and Penny meeting a polar bear. I am wearing the hat I lost later at the museum and which Penny posted back to me. It was on my mat when I arrived home!
And now a view from the top of the Varden viewpoint in Molde. DH climbed up there while I went to the museum and spoke Norwegian.
love Heather UK
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Happy Fathers Day to my Dad. He's been gone for almost 39 years, well over half of my life, but I still think of him most every single day. Here's a pic of him with my Mom and all my sisters and me.
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Cheri
Sunny NE oHIo soon to be in......??
I love the thot that no matter where your husband decides to go, you will still be just as close as ever to us. Great to have options.
Janetr OKC (which its still HOT)2 -
afternoon ladies~
Heather ~ all I can say is just stunning... each and every picture.. may I suggest over here in the states we have different websites that will make you a hard copy book of pictures one in particular is shutterfly ... that would be such a wonderful keepsake from your trip...
Janet ~ love the picture of you and your parents and aren't you lucky to have all those sisters.. I only have the one brother.. but a SIL too..
went down and brought McDonalds to my DFIL , was he ever thrilled, he polished that off toot sweet... and then when they served lunch he ate some more lol.. he is such a card. but he did say that Tom and I are his favorites.. only because we are the only ones that care..
stopped down to my house and made Tom's lunch for tomorrow, ya ya I know he can make himself stuff,but he does appreciate when I do.. so that is all set,got some ice water and am back up here with Faith.. will whip up some dinner for her in a bit.. right now just sitting on the porch and enjoying the weather...
P.S. Heather ~always look for coupon codes and discounts for those photo books..
I went on the Kohl's website and got 40% off a white shrug I need to take to Nashville ended up getting it for 17.812 -
Janetr- Love the photo!
Heather UK1 -
Heather- thanks for sharing the pictures! Love the one with you, Penny and the polar bear!
Mary from Minnesota1 -
Well I did it, 25.15minutes into my 54minute ride!2
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Husband wanted Mexican food-I was worried about this. Did well. No chips; had fish, beans and some avocado. Tasted great.
Son was here last weekend. Had tea party with granddaughters (2 & 4). The older one was so excited to use a real tea cup with flowers on it.
Will see daughter later today. She just got back from a mission trip to China. She is moving to southern China to teach English and literature in a small university. Leaving sometime in August. How I will miss her. Hope we can skype.
Debbie in S TX1 -
Margaret – Way to go with the pink flamingos!
Mary – Pressure wash the garage with some Clorox (or other bleach); maybe that will get rid of the cat urine smell because it will permeate the concrete. I don’t know about coyote urine; but, you can probably buy it at some place like Bass Pro Shop or Gander Mountain. I know my guys use some kind of stuff that doesn’t smell so bad that a human’s nose picks it up; but, other animals can. I agree with Michele, I probably would not put it inside the garage, especially if you have doors and keep it shut. Another way is to take the kitties for a ride (near a place with a barn) or to another neighborhood that has a reputation of feeding feral cats.
Michele – A belated party. He got a grill for DDnL#1, us, and DDnL#1’s mother, we got him a nice brush; the grill is great; just the right size for when they entertain or have a small group or just their family. Cast iron, so friend told him to cook a tenderloin and put a pan under it to catch the liquid; then rub the inside – top, sides, and grate down with it … and then he won’t have to ‘clean’ it like some others. DOS has very dark hair (almost black, speckled with gray, dark hazel eyes, and dark skin – his nickname is “Taco.” He got 4 T-shirts – one looks like the label off a Vintage bourbon bottle – aged 40 years; one with what looks like he has a name tag on it with the “Hello My Name is Taco”. I can’t remember the other; but all had something to do with “Taco” being on it. He has the coloring of my Daddy as well as my DFnL. My Daddy’s hair was so black that it looked midnight blue. Birthday was on the 16th. I occasionally falls on Father’s Day.
Lisa – Talking about colors; I have this thing on my bulletin board that has various colors down it; one side it lumps several colors that a person sees all as ‘red’, ‘yellow’, blue, green, pink, and orange; on the opposite side it shows what an ‘artists’ sees (all the colors). Black IS a color; white is ‘lack of color’; black can be made by mixing the primary colors; or colors opposite of the color wheel, or by mixing all trinary colors; which are the 3 colors like red, blue, and yellow; or if you turned that triangle like a clock still makes the color ‘black’ by mixing those colors (when using the right amount in the mixture). These 3 colors (primary colors) are the ‘only’ ones you cannot make by mixing any other color. True colors.
Mixing the opposite colors or trinary colors you can make shadows correctly – using black as a shadow color is not what an artist sees; they see just a darker color of whatever color they are using. IF I was stuck on an island and could get a bucket of things sent to me every month; I’d want brushes, palette knife, canvases, and black, white, red, blue, and yellow paint sent to me. Something to mix them on like a wax paper roll or stack of Styrofoam plates, and some mineral oil. I’d also like a set of pencils, erasers, and some drawing paper. I could keep myself busy every day; and, I’d paint on the trees as well. I know I’d be asking for a lot; but, I could entertain myself if I was on that island alone. Whenever I paint and finish for the day; I take my wax pallet and gently roll one side the other; top-to-bottom, side-to-side – making sure I don’t make a crease. Then I hang it up; and look at it at all angles to see if I see ‘something’ in it – like children do with clouds. Now painting my ‘new’ granddaughter some ‘sunflowers’; but, she’s asked that I use pink instead so they will match her ‘pink’ room. So to keep them from looking like zinnias; I am also painting in a few yellow ones; and, then use a black pen to outline the shapes I see. I did one not long ago that looked like 2 women with hats on and in 'fancy' dresses - like in the 20's; one holding up a cigarette and cigarette holder, Colors associates with race – red, yellow, black and white are what “Jesus Loves” … all the children of the world.
Love your philosophical article about how humans think. I don’t think you are wrong.
We also are estranged from DH’s daughter and her child – he looks at it as if she died (along with her husband and child) the day his Mother died. One day, Karma, will visit with her and sit down and have a discussion about how she ‘cheated’ her Daddy, our 2 sons, her uncle and his two sons with her 'greed'; and, a General Power of Attorney that she had pulled off the Internet and gotten their Mother and Nana to sign giving her full power over her and what would have been her estate. God doesn’t like ‘greed’; that is one of the ‘deadly sins’. It’s also ‘illegal’ in FL and probably in most states for one to prepare a POA for someone to sign that gives away their power to do things to that person who prepares it. She got her to sign it and told her that it was something the A.L.F., needed - a lie; but, not her first one. We could have taken her to court over it; but, DH and DBnL said, ‘it was not worth the arguments’ and attorney's fee of $500 a hour. My biggest issue was that she ‘took’ a painting that I had given to my DMnL one Christmas (the only one that I apparently did not sign). I wrote and asked if she’d send it to me to sign it and I’d send it back. Did not get, so much as a "Kiss my @$$." We’ve not heard a peep out of her for nearly 10 years.
Joyce – We have Centipede grass; before we moved here we also had it in our yard in a neighborhood; one neighbor had Zoysia; the other had Bermuda grass. Where they met – it was like they fought one another about where the line was. I think the Centipede won most of the time because it shoots out roots on a 'runner'. So when we planted grass out here we’d take piece of sod and cut them into pieces, sprinkled sand over it and in 2 years’ time or less it had covered the yard.
Cheri and Allie – My first OB/GYN did not have the best of ‘bedside manners’ – he still is someone that you either ‘love’ him or ‘hate’ him. I absolutely LOVE him; but, not always. One day as a patient in the hospital after have a really rare complication of pregnancy (Hydatidiformole pregnancy); we walked in the room, never coming in but 7 or 8 feet at the most with a nurse. I told the nurse to leave the room and told him to come over by my bed … I railed him up one side and down the other because I still could not understand what I was going through. Did not see him over the weekend; and the one OB/GYN was doing rounds. I questioned if I had made the ‘right’ decision. It was after dark; and, he told me to look out the window and see the light on in their office. He was researching what was wrong with me, because he did NOT want to perform a hysterectomy on a 24-year-old women with no children. Said he would do research for hours. That Monday, he walked in, without a nurse, and sat down on the end of my bed and explained what he had found out; and, that I should be able to try to start a family (waiting at least a year or until the HCG levels got out of my body). Started kidding him that we were feeding Duke University’s Medical Center’s vampire all my blood. Every Friday I would go to his office and have 5 tubes of blood drawn to send there, so that the following Friday he'd have the results. Had to take 9 weeks of chemotherapy because pieces of it (Placenta) had migrated to other organs of my body – that had to also be cleared up. I now have 2 smart, good-looking, kind, and loving sons; 2 DDsnL, and 4 DGDs. I don’t think I could be more ‘blessed’. This complication only occurs in 1:2000 pregnancies whereas naturally conceived twins occur in 1:89. The last time I saw him he told me that he had only had 2 others in the 40 years since mine in all the years he has practiced; but, they caught them early because of the 3-and 4-dimentional x-ray machines they now have in their office and sonogram machines. Now they can take pictures of the baby and you can tell 'who' they look like. That is amazing to me.
Cheri – I’d be wanting to move to TX (or any place that is warm) … I can’t handle ‘cold’; and even in summer there is a blanket on our bed; and a small blanket on my chair in the den. We ‘might’ get a few inches of snow every 15 or so years actually more like 40 since we got our last big snow; had another 3” about 4 or 5 years ago. DGDs had a ball; but, it was almost gone by the next day. YEAH!!!!!
Janetr - 6 girls! HA! HA! Probably like my Daddy - he was the KING of the house; and we were 'all very spoiled'. My Mother used to say 'she wanted 6 boys; but, stopped at 3 girls because they were twice as nice'.
Lenora
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Well, it appears I've found my group....I'm Melanie, I live in Baton Rouge, La. I'm 54 y/o (wow...that just "sounds" OLD) As of this morning, my weight is 214.4. I walk at least a mile every morning, sometimes as much as 2.5 miles. I'm new to my fitness pal, and would like to lose 40lbs. I'm a former smoker, having FINALLY quit in November. Looking forward to chatting with you all, and learning from you all. 2
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Lisa – powerful powerful powerful!
Lisa – Great idea to ask for what you want, especially when the two of you are prepared for a no! I am sorry for DH with his Mom; I have family members that when they go I will not miss either but I miss what “could” have been if they could have been mentally healthier.
Karen or any one else – if you come I will cook or we will cook!
Cheri – so how far apart is College station and Lisa? I know TX is huge!
Heather – phone pic are great and the Mexico dress is lovely, as are you and DH - Love the polar bear!
Love the dad pictures, I need to find one of my Dad, He was just 52, younger than I am when he died and I was just 19, The sadist thing is that there are no pictures of us as a family in every picture the person taking the picture is not in it… and usually that was Dad. And while I have some pics, none are scanned in.
June Goals
1 fun thing a week, graduation, visiting with Vickie, working in Eden garden,
Log everyday to the best I can, over if need be.
11,000 + steps everyday
Smiles.
Kim from N. California
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This discussion has been closed.
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