Do men secretly want a more traditional housewife?
Replies
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We both work full-time and refuse not to. Maybe if one of us was making a lot of money things would be different! My husband does all the man chores and I clean the place, pay the bills, and make the grocery list. I cook for myself and he figures things out on his own. We prefer it that way as usually he doesn't eat three square meals a day plus we have different schedules. We also are going to school at the same time with me graduating sooner then he will.
If we have kids there would probably be a chunk of daycare haha.0 -
NO!
My wife of 32 years is a full-time surgical RN-BSN. We both work all day. We raised two great kids together. We BOTH did homework with them all through grade school.
We share all the duties at home. The kids are gone(so we can afford the lawn-care guys and twice a month cleaning lady), but I make breakfast and lunches. She makes dinners and WE BOTH CLEAN UP.
We have always felt, "If you made the mess, you clean it up." Our grown kids are the same way.
which is why your marriage has lasted 32 years.
ETA- I want to be a 50's style woman for my future husband, if he ever finds me. Right down to playing dressup and wearing those clothes. Yes I do love Mad Men. This is like a Mad Men inspired thread right??0 -
Thanks. That's what I'm looking for. So, it doesn't matter what I say. Then STFU. Back to my original idea. I'm watching my kids. It doesn't matter how I express it. Sometimes, I say I have to babysit my kids, Sometimes, I say I'm spending time with them, sometimes, I just say I'm busy. It's not a big deal. the words I choose are irrelevant. Stop putting so much emphasis on the words being said, and listen to the intent and tone.
Rar, sir. If you and I both agree that it's not the words that matter, but rather the intent behind them - why are you so upset with me? It seems odd.
I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm upset with someone that called me a name for no reason except she lacks the ability to reason as an adult.
I apologize for my ad hominem- and I say to you: it is called being a father.0 -
The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!
Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
You have no right to question him.
A good wife knows her place
I would bet money that this article was written by a man.
Most likely. But my husband would get annoyed if i acted like this. He expects me to be me, after all, if he didnt like me this way, he wouldnt have married me.0 -
In my defense, if you are strained for what to call spending time with your kids other than "baby sitting" or "watching the little f*ckers" you are not looking like the sharpest tool in the shed.0
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Dang. I reckon i'm an odd ball. While dating my now husband, i worked a full time job. I would get home before he would and start dinner. I knew what time he would be home so i had a hot bath drawn with a towel and clean clothes folded neatly on the bathrom counter for him. When he came in the door, i would take his belt and boots off for him and then send him to the bath. By the time he was done in there i had dinner served and waiting. We dated for a year before getting married. We have now been married for nearly 8 years. While i dont take his belt and boots off for him (that goes to helping our child finish homework) i still do the rest (most of the time) in addition to keeping the house clean, working FT and cooking ("real food" not take out or frozen dinners or such most nights). I love what i do and i do it by CHOICE. It is part of my way of showing him how much i appreciate him and love him. Crazy? Some say definitely. But i am happy with it. My husbans often jokes saying I have him so spoiled no other woman would have him and that he wouldnt know what he would do if something happened to me. *dreamy sigh* i love my man....0
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Nothing secret about it for me. I like a more traditional woman in a lot of respects. I do not need a sTrophy wife and I want her to have a career and her own interests as well.0
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My husband has told me before, most men want a good woman wearing an apron and pearls in the kitchen and a *kitten* in their bed! LOL
Seriously, its all about balance and as you go through the various stages of life together the balance shifts depending on the circumstances of the time. In today's society I believe traditional is whatever works under your roof because the definition of family in today's world is broad & varied. The "Donna Reed" era is a bygone era but that doesn't mean it isn't fun to wear heels and an apron to cook your man a great dinner on occasion.
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Dang. I reckon i'm an odd ball. While dating my now husband, i worked a full time job. I would get home before he would and start dinner. I knew what time he would be home so i had a hot bath drawn with a towel and clean clothes folded neatly on the bathrom counter for him. When he came in the door, i would take his belt and boots off for him and then send him to the bath. By the time he was done in there i had dinner served and waiting. We dated for a year before getting married. We have now been married for nearly 8 years. While i dont take his belt and boots off for him (that goes to helping our child finish homework) i still do the rest (most of the time) in addition to keeping the house clean, working FT and cooking ("real food" not take out or frozen dinners or such most nights). I love what i do and i do it by CHOICE. It is part of my way of showing him how much i appreciate him and love him. Crazy? Some say definitely. But i am happy with it. My husbans often jokes saying I have him so spoiled no other woman would have him and that he wouldnt know what he would do if something happened to me. *dreamy sigh* i love my man....
Not crazy. That's how you show love. And him accepting and appreciating it is awesome.0 -
compromise.
I will always have a career and that is my preference until I am ready to reproduce but I have every intention in taking care of my husband, in every sense of the word.0 -
The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!
Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
You have no right to question him.
A good wife knows her place
If I grew up in the 50's my "place" would have been single ..... forever!!0 -
The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!
Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
You have no right to question him.
A good wife knows her place
If I grew up in the 50's my "place" would have been single ..... forever!!
and I would have to hunt down and mame the author of this book...0 -
I have no idea. I do know that my husband likes it that way. It makes him feel good to be the provider and it makes me feel good to cook and clean. I prefer to do domestic stuff, but have no problem with working a job either. As long as we are both happy then it's all good.
I do think there is something to be said for a woman that is staying home to keep things in order. I have met too many ladies who sit at home and keep the house dirty, don't take care of themselves and never have delicious meals ready for their working men. There is no excuse for that behavior if you're sitting on your A** all day haha0 -
I wish. Although, most girls nowadays are pretty damn lazy. At least the ones I've dated my. Most girls want everything nowadays but then again, I live in Los Angeles so maybe a southern girl is in order
I'm a Southern gal. But north, south, east, west, a gal gives as good as she gets. If you want your woman to give you certain things, what are you giving her in return? I'm all for being submissive for my man, I love it, but the man has to be worth it. Meaning, treat me like a princess & I'll treat you like a king.0 -
My mom received The Good Wife handbook when she was married in the early '50s.
She tried to raise me that way, too, when I was growing up in the '70s - watching the "women's revolution" and all
I started working in high school and joined the Navy at age 20. I think my mom still holds a grudge that I don't iron sheets and towels and do all that crap she did 60 years ago.0 -
I'll ask everyone at the next Man meeting and let you know.
Could I send a few more questions with you? I could make a list? LOL Loved this!0 -
You know, I think men "secretly" just want someone they can be comfortable with. Friends with. Lovers with. Happy with. However that manifests in a specific relationship is different from couple to couple.
Also, a lot of people have "seasons" in their relationships. They may be "traditional" for a period of 5-10 years and then more modern later on. I know many women who stay at home when the kids are young and then get back to work when the kids are school age.
If I had to make a wager, I'd say a lot of modern men don't want the stress or burden of being the only financial provider. They want a partner to share the burden. Which makes sense to me.0 -
Do men secretly want a more traditional housewife?
No, not at all. I don't keep it a secret. I tell my wife every day how much I love her staying home.
Oooh, found a new picture for my wall at work :flowerforyou:0 -
^THISYou know, I think men "secretly" just want someone they can be comfortable with. Friends with. Lovers with. Happy with. However that manifests in a specific relationship is different from couple to couple.
Also, a lot of people have "seasons" in their relationships. They may be "traditional" for a period of 5-10 years and then more modern later on. I know many women who stay at home when the kids are young and then get back to work when the kids are school age.
If I had to make a wager, I'd say a lot of modern men don't want the stress or burden of being the only financial provider. They want a partner to share the burden. Which makes sense to me.
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I think Ludicris has it right.
A man wants a lady on the street and a freak in the bed.0 -
DEFINITELY!!0
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I'll ask everyone at the next Man meeting and let you know.
who ever wrote this comment, YOU WIN.0 -
I think Ludicris has it right.
A man wants a lady on the street and a freak in the bed.
this ^^0 -
Of course I always hear people say how bigger women were considered "better looking" back in the day, so if you want to pick and choose which part of the 50s you want back it may not be so bad.
Here are some old school ads so you can see how it was.
http://bodren.com/fat-women-are-hotter-back-to-the-50s/
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I'm not sure what men think, but on a personal level, I think before kids it's fair for both to work.. Personally, after I have kids I would rather spend all my time with them instead of working, if financially it will be feasible.. (Most people spend more on childcare than they would lose by staying home so, it depends on your situation really)
I definitely think it is a womans role to look after and comfort the man in the relationship, I am very much for tradition gender roles, but I agree it has to be a two way street... The man has to be respectful, let you do things your way and look after you to the same degree, if only in different ways.
'I think Ludicris has it right.
A man wants a lady on the street and a freak in the bed.'
I don't really know what Ludacris is, but I agree with that sentiment.0 -
depends on the man how he was raised and culture
This ^^^^^0 -
doesn't everyone like to feel cared for??? what am I missing?0
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I speak for myself when i say that there are some things that i would like for my wife to do... I cook most of the meals and do almost everything myself. i was raised to cook, clean, iron, lawn work and it goes on.. but i would like to come home to a homecooked meal and maybe some cleaning done... i honestly don't wish for that everyday but a cooked meal shows me she cares and wants to make me comfortable in life
she was raised completely different her mom did everything so when we moved in together there was alot that i had to teach her.. 0 -
I think deep, deep down, men want a woman to dote on them and take care of them. However, with that they want a woman who can stand on her own. Has her own interests and ideas. I think men like the idea of having someone care for them at home, while they go out into the work force and care for the family financially. But they also want to know they have a smart, strong woman at home who they can trust and rely on to care for their children.
I think it kinda goes back to cave men days. The men would go out and hunt and battle. And the women would stay at home and raise kids and take care of the men when they got home. Obviously things have changed a lot, but I think on a deep level both genders feel good filling that role. It only works if both parties have a serious respect and admiration for the other person and for how hard their work is.0 -
You know, I think men "secretly" just want someone they can be comfortable with. Friends with. Lovers with. Happy with. However that manifests in a specific relationship is different from couple to couple.
Also, a lot of people have "seasons" in their relationships. They may be "traditional" for a period of 5-10 years and then more modern later on. I know many women who stay at home when the kids are young and then get back to work when the kids are school age.
If I had to make a wager, I'd say a lot of modern men don't want the stress or burden of being the only financial provider. They want a partner to share the burden. Which makes sense to me.
^THIS
THis is how i feel... i am the only provider for my family... my wife just got her degree and doesnt want to do anything with it till our last child is in school.. these days it takes two to have a comfortable living.. it is hard and a lot of pressur..0
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