Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???
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bearbugbear wrote: »Thanks CSARdiver but unfortunately it's too late for us, as of yesterday I'm officially single after 10 years, though it's nothing to do with sex or weight loss. Completely and utterly heartbroken.
I'm sorry
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Having a pretty terrible time but staying string for my children.0
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littlemissbgiff wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »Having a pretty terrible time but staying string for my children.
We've never interacted here and you don't know me but I've read your story here and I have been in similar shoes. I need you to know that it's hard right now and it will be for some time. But I also need you to know that you will come out of this a better woman and a better mother. You will look back one day and be amazed at your own strength. Above that, you will learn so much about yourself that you never knew. Sweetie you deserve to have in life, exactly what you want in life. You will learn what you want not what you will settle for and you will find it. The road is long and arduous but you are worth it. Your children are worth it. Promise. Hugs.
I completely agree with this. I too have been there and I know it feels like you're drowning right now . But gradually things will settle and you will realize how much better off you are without him. The universe will align and you will get the happiness you deserve. Much love to you.1 -
Wow these are some sad stories oO i cant imagine my relationship ending just cause I lost weight. If anything , he started eating better and taking interest in training as well ! He always supported me , always told me that I am the most beautiful woman , even when overweight and always celebrates my accomplishments whether they are weight related or not. Those people who leave their spouse after losing weight never loved them in the first place. And honestly leaving your SO just because you now lost weight and 'deserve' better shows how much of a selfish person you are for making someone else waste their time with you and making someone else feel like *kitten*.No offence to anyone3
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bearbugbear wrote: »Having a pretty terrible time but staying string for my children.
I would also add to lean on your network of online friends. There is a unique bond formed with people online that in many ways can be stronger than "real life" relationships.
I have a female friend who was in your situation and married to a narcissist. This wasn't really apparent in the beginning, but as time went on things got worse until they finally divorced. In many ways both emerged stronger - not that this wasn't extremely painful at times. He is now a much better father than he ever was before and recognizes his role in the marriage - or lack thereof. She is now much closer to her family than ever before and finally close to her mother.
Hug your kids more than ever!0 -
bearbugbear wrote: »Having a pretty terrible time but staying string for my children.
I would also add to lean on your network of online friends. There is a unique bond formed with people online that in many ways can be stronger than "real life" relationships.
I have a female friend who was in your situation and married to a narcissist. This wasn't really apparent in the beginning, but as time went on things got worse until they finally divorced. In many ways both emerged stronger - not that this wasn't extremely painful at times. He is now a much better father than he ever was before and recognizes his role in the marriage - or lack thereof. She is now much closer to her family than ever before and finally close to her mother.
Hug your kids more than ever!
A narcissist doesn't change, unless it ceases to benefit them; in a soul crushing way. Meaning when he lost her, he lost his soulmate & thus he has to settle for, someone whom's 2nd rate; to her!2 -
You all are giving good advice for @bearbugbear.... Kudos to you all for speaking hope and positive things to her when she feels like the walls are crumbling in....0
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support here. I haven't told people in real life yet because I'm not sure how to approach it and I don't want to cause problems for my husband but I will begin to let people I love in as soon as I can. You're all wonderful.6
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bearbugbear wrote: »Having a pretty terrible time but staying string for my children.
I don't know if it's the good play.
I grew up without seeing my parents show any affection for each other... I don't really like the idea of my kids growing up in the same situation and thinking it's 'normal' and that long term couples who still love each other after 10+ years only happen on TV.
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Hello everyone! How is it going? I hope you are still smashing your goals and continuing on your journey, in spite of your non supportive partner!!!!! Keep pushing! Feel free to vent here if you want!0
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bump0
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Thanks @STLBADGIRL I'm having a better day, much calmer. How are you?3
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You know what really helps a relationship that's not going so well? Kid and school drama! Uggggh!!!!0
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bearbugbear wrote: »Thanks @STLBADGIRL I'm having a better day, much calmer. How are you?
@bearbugbear I'm doing great today. I'm happy that today is a better day for you. I'm rooting for you. I suggest to maybe pick up a new hobby or interest. I don't want you having too much idle time....1 -
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Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »littlemissbgiff wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »Having a pretty terrible time but staying string for my children.
We've never interacted here and you don't know me but I've read your story here and I have been in similar shoes. I need you to know that it's hard right now and it will be for some time. But I also need you to know that you will come out of this a better woman and a better mother. You will look back one day and be amazed at your own strength. Above that, you will learn so much about yourself that you never knew. Sweetie you deserve to have in life, exactly what you want in life. You will learn what you want not what you will settle for and you will find it. The road is long and arduous but you are worth it. Your children are worth it. Promise. Hugs.
I completely agree with this. I too have been there and I know it feels like you're drowning right now . But gradually things will settle and you will realize how much better off you are without him. The universe will align and you will get the happiness you deserve. Much love to you.
I could not have said this better myself (both posters above) -- there are so many of us who have been in your shoes, albeit for different reasons -- we're here for you!0 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »
You mean every day? Homework!
LOL....I've been running around for homecoming attire....Today I will make my Zumba class and hit legs...I hate to miss leg day!0 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
You mean every day? Homework!
LOL....I've been running around for homecoming attire....Today I will make my Zumba class and hit legs...I hate to miss leg day!
Oh sheesh I'm glad I'm not there yet. Just the thought of my daughter being a teenager stresses me out.0
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