WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2016
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Janet ~ Good advice to Michelle1
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The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want the MOST for what they want at the MOMENT.
I probably could have taught and danced all the dances at my class today, but I wisely sat out several of them and let my student lead....I didn't want to take a chance on over doing and setting my recovery back a long way. I had a great time and made sure I danced my favorites.
Barbie NW Washington
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Michele in NC ~ If I were in your shoes, about trying to have a certain family come for Christmas (one that doesn't) I would put the invite out there, and then not stress about it. Tell the family that you wish to have come visit, that your door is open for the holidays. I am a firm believer that visiting isn't just for the holidays, heck people should visit when they can, not reserve a specific time to be social. This once a year visit is plain nuts, so many awkward situations, and it just becomes obligatory. I tell my sons come if they can, and if they can't have fun where ever that might be... ((((hugs)))) to you in whatever works out!
Becca
Oregon3 -
Joyce – Crystal as a glass bell. DH has not seen nor talked to his daughter in nine (9) years. She is the one that wants to continue the 'estrangement'; not him, other than he doesn't think he has done anything to cause it.
Charleen in Colorado – We’ll be eating turkey, dressing, and veggies for a week, too; and I did not even have to cook. But, the turkey and Cornish hens were too dry. Most everything else was tasty. I only got 1/4th of a cup or less of everything. Probably no more than 2 heaping TBSP of everything. Then I can home and tracked it on MFP and did not go over for the day, walked 20 minutes on the treadmill. I cooked a big ham this AM; which we will eat tomorrow. DDnL#1 will make some of her red potato salad. Man, can you ever cook some great potato salad. I have to laugh that our DDnL#2 calls ‘chunky mashed potatoes’ potato salad. Each time she has tried making soup, my DYS had told her ‘it’s awful’. She tried making ‘chicken and dumplings’ … he did not like it; then she made some vegetable soup, and she said he did not ‘like’ that either … so she did not cook anything for him for 3 days. LOL! I asked her ‘how she made her dumplings’ … thinking that maybe she, like DDnL#1, uses/d noodles; but, she said she rolled them out like biscuits. That is how I have always made them.
My cream cheese pecan pie was almost eaten up; just a little over one piece left; and, DH brought it home. Got to make another one either tonight or in the morning. A friend had made us a pound cake to pay us back for a pie I made for the “Fall Festival” at the grand's school and she said she would put $15 in the pot. But, when we cut into the cake (which looked like it have fallen) it was not cooked totally in the middle. But, we won’t say anything about it. DH brought home a big portion of the pound cake that DDnL#1’s sister made. I did not particular like it myself. I need to get my Mimi’s recipe out and make one for him. It is a sour cream pound cake that you put into a ‘cold oven’,
NYKAREN – You meal of butternut squash soup, red lentil soup, and various nibbles sound good. I don’t ‘think’ I could even be ‘paid’ to shop on ‘Black Friday’ or even on whatever they call ‘Monday’ after Thanksgiving, don’t even want to drive in town.
Katla and Lillian – I know I have been busier since I have retired. People ‘think’ you have all the time in the world, to do things for them. “Sorry, Hon; but I am doing what I want to do, no more having to do.” LOL!
Michele – Gee, sweetie, that’s a hard one. This is the first Thanksgiving that our DYS has not come to celebrate Thanksgiving with us. DDnL#2 said that her ‘ex’ was giving her a lot of problems, just to mess with her, now that she has remarried, too. Last Thanksgiving they came; but, ended up going back on Saturday so he could have his visitation. They share custody; and they had a 3/2 and 2/3 rotation which really makes a long weekend impossible. He’s being a pill about it, not wanting to get DGD#4 until it is ‘his’ time to have her; or to bring her back ‘when’ his time is over. DYS said that he had been working 12+ hours a day to try to catch up prior to ‘hunting season’ so he did not want to have to drive. I still wonder if it is because DDnL#1 was so ‘ugly’ to DDnL#2 (for no reason; and, she turned her ‘anger’ on me). DYS says that DOS is always complaining about ‘not having enough money’. He thinks calling one another should be a 2-way street; and, it isn’t like he is being charged to call him under our present plan with Verizon. At least he did not come out and say that they were not coming because of them. That would have ‘hurt’ and made it hard to deal with.
How far away do they live? Even making a weekend trip to Louisiana would be almost exhausting for us; but, I still ‘think’ they ought to switch out holidays. If it were me, I’d probably say something, even ‘if’ I did not like the answer. It’s like DH’s daughter – we did not like what she did (more than anything); and, DH has decided that he no longer cares that she continues the ‘estrangement’ any longer. It’s been 9 years. What can I say? If you say something they might think you are trying to make them ‘feel guilty’ and I know that isn’t the case, you just want your family to be together.
We always went to either or parents or in-laws about every 6 weeks; my parents were a little closer; but, packing up for babies can be a pain. We'd swap off holidays. Of course, when the boys were little we always had "Santa" at our house. We'd get together (all sisters and husbands) the weekend before or the weekend afterwards.
Allie – I could not work with such a ‘tight’ allowance; if I was still working … I would NOT tolerate it. I’ve always paid ‘my’ bills, DH has always paid mortgage, utilities, phone, garbage pick-up, and all ‘his’ credit cards. I don’t spend money out of our ‘joint’ account at his bank; and he doesn’t do the same out of my bank accounts.
My savings account is in my name only; but, it has less than $400 in it. Something for a rainy day.
Pip – You ought to be ‘thankful’ that Kirby survived his injuries. We’re very ‘thankful’ that DBnL is alive and doing very well. They are talking about transitioning him back to GA to do his ‘out-patient PT, OT, and whatever else he needs to do.
Love the lights. We have the ‘tacky’ ones that hang on every other light pole. When I was little they would string lights (in the town I grew up in) to the top of the courthouse on the square from the wires that went around the sidewalks (power lines). We’d stop outside of town on a hill, about 10 or more miles from town from grandmamma house to see them, It looked like a huge Christmas tree.
Have any of you had issues with MFP the last couple of days? It does show that it ‘isn’t responding’ but it cuts off the top and bottom so that it only shows up ‘white’ and the only way to do anything with it is to just shut it down and try to reopen it. I keep getting some sort of pop-up that wants me to ‘install’ new drivers. I don’t ‘think so’ … probably someone trying to sell me something. Fixing to contact my technicians and see what they do. After I try to ‘uninstall’ it. I see an icon on my desktop. Got that program uninstalled; but, still having issues about posting on MFP. It is also NOT taking me back to my last posting. It just stops wherever, not even at the last page.
Lenora1 -
Michelle - so sorry about your holiday situation. We've had some in the past, too. Luckily my DS's in-laws include us in thanksgiving and Christmas meals. Of course we never see my Hubby's DS and family though they live closest to us. I know it is hard but try to let go of what you can't control. I am feeling your sorrow.0
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Well our family gathering was fun. Soups were both really good but I am glad I had also prepared a turkey breast, stuffing, gravy and roast vegetables as well. What a surprise my DOSister came along, she's never visited NY, it was a big deal that she came and was a total surprise that my brother arranged. She is the sister that I helped with remodeling her bathroom. I was so very happy she came and she enjoyed the food so much. I packed up a great deal of leftovers for her take home, as we all gathered to talk in the living room she fell asleep on the couch which embarrassed her, but we felt that it was not a big deal.
Went on a nice walk after dessert (soggy pie, oh well) and spoke about being sure we remain a support for each other as we all age, it was very reassuring.
Tomorrow is a new day, back on track.
Thanks ladies for being here for each other. Through thick and thin (pun intended)
NYKAREN1 -
Kate UK1 -
Hello black Friday. Michelle and I did go out to Home Depot this afternoon, lots of staff to help but not a whole lot of shoppers, Walmart lot is right next to Home Depot and they weren't crowded either. Charlie and I had looked at bathroom vanities and one was to close to the color to the flooring we picked out and the other was almost a black. So I needed help. We went ahead and bought the light oak, it's darker than the floor so we will have to do something to marry the floor to the cabinet. Although he has said he doesn't need or want new this or that I am jsut going to have to put my foot down and let him know that it is just not his bathroom but mine also. A new shower curtain and curtain on window don't cost that much, can even be bought at Goodwill and them cleaned well. He will need a soap dish and toothbrush holder. All that can marry the two colors.
Michele, We also have store bought pies and use cool whip but all of us females can't stand and work in the kitchen long enough to make the real stuff. My sister and I have terrible backs, so does Michelle but hers is in her neck. Other cook has been a diabetic since age 3 and is going blind now. Christina rarely helps, sigh, and I am trying to get her kids to help. So because of all of that we enjoy our store bought pies. Wonderful company was there. Only problem was that when my sister bought the pecan pie she bought chocolate pecan pie. It was like chocolate pie with pecans on the top. We had a large leftover lunch today and there was still a large amount that Michelle took home this afternoon. She was the main cook and deserved to have it.
I am still pooped, will sleep in tomorrow since Sunday I get up early for church then contractor comes in Monday and Tuesday for bathroom remodel. I am wondering if my orthotics need to be replaced. More money.
Oh forgot, Michele, you can not make your kids to be there or call, it is their decision. Unfortunately they have put you in a position that you are cot comfortable with. My answer is always going to be prayer, prayer for them, for you and prayer for you to accept it and still love them. In our family if we had a holiday that the whole family could not get together, we just pick another day or month and would call it a family day. When my brother lived out in Washington state, we just sent a joint box. It was two expensive for her to send much less pick it up annd take it to the post office. presents were wrapped, stockings were already filled and she would invariably send some ornaments. If that was the only way we could celebrate Christmas with us, then that was what we would do.
Is it bedtime yet, Joyce Indiana0 -
Margaret: Belated Happy Birthday.
Michele: My niece calls holidays "holly days of obligation". She has spoken earnestly to me about how 'forced' it felt to go home every holiday to be with her family. You want the kids to come over because it feels good, not because it's an obligation or chore. I agree with whoever said do not talk with DIL's mother. Not cool.
We're enjoying leftovers, long walks with Mars the cat, and a very relaxed day. Feels like Saturday.
Rori
Colorado Foothills3 -
We'll Talk went home and I took a tub and am having a nice glass of wine.. After the last couple days I need it.. Will try and speak with Tom. We shall see where that goes..0
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Hello all: Had a good Thanksgiving. My DS said he was thankful everyone is in WA now. That made me feel good even though I do miss Sioux Falls once in a while but not when they make the national news because of a blizzard. Today is cleanup day. DD is working since she is in retail and black Friday is a big day for them. She will be very tired tonight. We are sending some winter things that we do not need anymore to the protesters in ND. They are needing warm clothing especially as police are using water cannons.
Penny - Glad you finally have some snow. I know you were worried.
Margaret - Happy birthday!!!
Beth - Good to see your smiling face.
Mary - Wonderful cartoons. Always good to have a laugh.
Pip - Have you ever used pics of the pups for your Christmas cards? I think they would make good ones.
Sherry - Hope you find a safe place soon.
Michele - We used to always spend Christmas with the in-laws because my mom worked in a business whose busiest time was December. The one time we went out there (CA) we hardly saw her. We always tried to go out in the spring or summer when she was not so busy and we could spend more time with her. Maybe you just need to create a new family holiday at a less stressful time and see if you can get everyone together then. How about a big celebration for Father's Day and you could have a pool party? I agree with Joyce that the important part is getting the family together not necessarily when.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA
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Well we will be eating leftovers for a long time. That's OK by me, I cooked up a storm for Thanksgiving so I only need to toss a salad to go with anything dragged out of the frig and heated up for a meal.
Took my sweet time getting up and out the door this morning to hit up a couple of Black Friday sales. I don't go to these without a list and coupons. Picked up some new blue jeans for me (normally $26 each) in two different stores since my short size is hard to find ($5.00 in one store and $6.99 in the other store) so there are only ever a couple on the shelf. Picked up some sweaters for my daughter ($9.99 each) from the men's department (they carry the heavier weight sweaters) and socks galore as she needs them ($2.99 a pack) and a 2 slice toaster ($4.99) to pack for her kitchen when she moves away in the Spring.
Also picked up extra socks and a pair of ladies PJs ($9.00) to give to a local charity that requests new clothes for their needy.
Our local credit union was having a Black Friday one day only 'sale' on CD's with 3% interest paid. That is the best I have seen in a long while. So I hit up the credit union on my way home and bought one. This is the first time I have ever seen a bank have a Black Friday sale!
Tomorrow I will be hanging outdoor Christmas decorations as it will be warm before it turns chilly again.
Charleen in Colorado (My doggies are tired from the walking and standing in line today)
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Charleen that is excellent that a bank does that. Good business sense.
Allie, I was going to leave a message for you two but forgot. You know I have been on your side when people have encouraged you to leave Tom a long time ago. I did that because I know what kind of husband you have since mine is kind of the same. I also believe in the sanctity of marriage. But Tom is going a bit to far when he is screaming at you and calling you awful names when a youngster is coming. She could have been at the door at any moment. That is carrying it a bit to far. Yes, You night have to make a mighty big decision to protect not only yourself but an innocent child. It seems he is getting a bit to comfortable with that kind of behavior. It also seems like Homers health has a lot to do with his behavior.
As usual when my grand kids left they left things. After getting stuck in bumper to bumper traffic traffic going into Louisville, they finally got home and Ellie told my daughter that she left a necklace here. My sister got her a sweater that had a real simple necklace attached to it. I got her 3 dresses for a child's resale shop and that simple necklace made every one of those dresses pop. Hope we can find it.
Joyce, Indiana0 -
Joyce - Pull off the cushions to your sofa and chairs; then stick your hand down into the edges of the bottoms and sides ... you'll be amazed at what falls down in there. I lost my cellphone down there once. It was just 'sucked up' into a black hole. It has a bottom, so it won't go very much further, unless the bottom of the chair/sofa is torn. That's where I'd look first.
Lenora1 -
Hi Gals,
Hope all had a joyous Thanksgiving or random Thursday depending on where you live!
Happy Birthday Margaret!!!
Mary – loved the cartoons.
Allie – hugs! Many of us have shared our point of view, but please take care of yourself.
Michele – I know how important the holidays are for you, but it sounds to me like guilt is not working the way you would like, I am thinking that the humor situation Heather outlined or even more “out of the box” would be just don’t mention it again, don’t ask about them coming down, don’t invite them, don’t ask for gift lists…and I would even suggest cut way back or eliminate gift giving… just you and Vince figure out a thing you’ll do and do it.. and sense they don’t participate just drop it, my guess is that they know you will be there and so you are being taken a bit for granted, so if you don’t participate they might be surprised .
I had a nice Thanksgiving with my friends, a lot of driving and cooking but very nice to see everyone. I thought they had a fun idea about talking about Politics – It was a go! You could talk as much about politics as you wanted as long as it was politics that happened prior to 12/7/1941 (pearl harbor) – the history buffs were in 7th heaven, the rest of us moved on to other things…
It was a late night on Wed. getting ready to go, an early morning Thanksgiving day and then Thanksgiving evening I did not get to bed until midnight, and it took a long time to fall asleep - up at 6:30 am… so am running out of steam.. off to the land of nod.
November Goals:
Write Christmas letter, and have all cards ready to send by Dec1…
Read and report on a book
Log everyday to the best I can, over if need be.
11,000 + steps everyday
Work on water consumption -
Smiles.
Kim from N. California
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I actually did a bit of Black Friday today. Got up early and headed to the fabric store. Most of their fabric was 70% off before 10 am and then anything not on sale you could use a 50% off coupon for. Definitely worth going for. I bought about $250 of fabric for $80. I'm set for plenty of sewing for the next few months.
Marcelyn
who may have hit the fabric store but totally avoided Walmart2 -
Michelle: We spent the Thanksgiving holiday with DSIL & DBIL. Two of her adult kids are here and so is one grandson. It has been lovely. We received some text messages from our son & DDIL, and also our daughter. I am sorry we can't see our own children this time. The chance to come here was a real blessing. Being home alone would have been difficult. For Christmas we will be home alone again this year, but hopefully we won't have the flu like last year. In my imagination, I'd never thought of my kids moving so far away.
We're doing our best to deal with it and be content. Sometimes that is all you can do. :ohwell:
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison1 -
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CL - Welcome and congratulations sounds like you are off to a great start!
Margaret - Happy Birthday - hope it was a wonderful day!
Beth -miss you when you're gone
Sherry - how scary - I hope the next place is inviting and safe!
Had a lovely Thanksgiving with my family! We held hands and went around the table and said what each of us was thankful for. I also suggested doing a White Elephant exchange for the adults for Christmas this year and everyone thought it was a good idea so thanks for whoever told us they do that with their family.
Had lunch with an old boss/friend today. She has MS and had to resign a number of year ago after a brilliant career as a State attorney. She is one of those women who never felt threatened by other women so always tried to help them get ahead. Unfortunately her MS started interfering with her ability to do her job as she was used to so she retired. Such a loss to the State and to the people who worked with and for her.
Thanks for all of your congrats on the job. I am both excited and nervous. My grandsons are busy trying to decide how I should spend all the extra money . . . lol
Gloria in WA thankful that it only drizzled today!
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Morning all!
Off to Hove today to see the grandchildren.
Staying overnight at DDIL's invitation. We will leave at 11.30 on Sunday to get back for the supermarket delivery and a house tidy for the viewing on Monday. It's fairly clean now as it was cleaned twice last week. 
I woke up really early, but we want to get an early start on our exercises and packing so we can leave in good time. So glad we haven't got to drive home after dinner. DH doesn't seem to mind, but he's getting a bit old for late night driving.
Much love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxx0 -
Heather, have a wonderful visit and hug those babies all you can. Life's precious moments.
Janetr okc0 -
A lot of you say that when you get back on here that it takes you to your last posting. Do you mean that it actually takes you right to where you posted? When I get on it always takes me to the newest page of postings so I have to keep a post-it on my computer with the last page I was on so I don't have to guess where to start again.
Gloria in WA1 -
Well, it's 2 in the morning and we just got back to the hotel. I suspect VERY highly that I won't be exercising (formally) tomorrow. I know me, if I don't get my workout in first thing in the morning, it doesn't get done. In order for me to do it first thing in the morning I would have to get up at 6 which would mean that I'd only get 4 hours of sleep. No, I think I'd like a little bit more sleep than that. Well, I do expect to get back to healthy eating at least.
Ate way too much, had some wine. We played "cards against humanity". Even one of Jess' friends commented about how Denise very seldom comes.
Carol - Oh, I've told Denise how hurt I am that she doesn't come. My concern is that Pete has never been to our house for any holiday. He only knows about spending every holiday with his family. They'll be married, marriage means you now have two families. My concern is that he'll want to spend every Christmas with his family (really, every holiday) and Denise will just go along. I am contemplating saying something to his mother and her mother about how I only get to see my daughter once/year. I'll ask them how they'd feel if they only saw their child once/year.
Margaret - the only time they ever visited us at any time was once last year and that was because Vince was going in for major heart surgery. Otherwise, we only get a phone call. You have no idea how many times I've tried to Skype with them, telling Denise (well, this is somewhat true) that we want to get to know Pete. But it's always me who initiates the skype session, Denise never does. And this last time even tho she told me how it makes her feel good that we want to get to know Pete, she doesn't attempt to skype with us. By that I mean that we don't know when he's working and when he's off (he works on a boat something like 4 days then he has 4 days off). I guess another thing is that I honestly believe that this marriage will not be between Denise and Pete, it'll be between Denise, Pete and his mother. We've only met her at Denise's graduation, but she strikes me as a very pushey type of person. Remember, she was the person who cosigned for the first apt they had -- the one they skipped out on leaving her owing the apt thousands of dollars, then she cosigned for another apt for them. Recently she bought them a car. I believe the reason she cosigned for the apt was because she didn't want Pete in the house. Her husband (Pete's step-father) threw him out of the house when we were in PA, so I have a feeling that there weren't good feelings there and the mother felt that if she cosigned for an apt for him, at least Pete would be near her but not under the same roof. I believe she bought the car because Pete wrecked Denise's car and he was going to work with his step-father. It was probably a hassle somewhat for the stepfather to take Pete to work, so they bought the car.
Heather - hey, that's a great idea. First, I'll maybe mention about how christmas Eve means so much to me and invite them all. The truth is, we have 4 bedrooms, one for us, one for Jess, one for Denise, and one for Pete's parents. So it wouldn't be a problem at all.
janetr - I don't know that the mother isn't the one who makes the decisions. For example, all her life Denise has said that she wanted my wedding/engagement rings. She even told Pete in front of me. He told us he was going to ask Denise to marry him and then showed us a ring he'd bought. I asked him why he bought a ring when she'd told him that she wanted mine. He said "to show her how much I love her". That isn't showing love, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that. I believe his mother said "oh, you have to buy Denise a ring to show her you love her" when Pete told his mother that she wanted my rings. Denise told me that she'd told his mother that she really wanted my rings and the mother said "oh, you can always take the diamond out and make it into a necklace". Even Denise said to her "no way". I got the impression from the one time I met the mother that she's very materialistic and doesn't really think of anyone else. For example, did she say to me "I know you don't get to see your daughter very often, so you're welcome at our house when you're up here". No. Her husband talked about going to see his friend in Asheveille. I offered to let him stay at my house. Admitted he didn't take me up on my offer (I don't even know if he went to see this friend), but the fact remains that at least I offered.
Lenora - Denise and Pete live about 8 hours away. What I was going to do in order to go dress shopping with her was stay at Jess', then drive the 2 hours to Denise's, drive the 2 hours back and spend the night with Jess. Now Denise wants Vince to come up so he and Pete can go do things like shooting. So that shoots that idea.
Joyce - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about a store bought pie. See, I'm just not crazy at all about them, mainly because I prefer something homemade and I'm sure that's because I like to cook. Oh, I know that I can't force Denise and Pete to do anything, but I'm thinking that if I don't say something to the mother and grandmother, they'll think that I'm fine with them not ever seeing us, and that isn't so.
Rori - the only thing is that the kids don't ever come over.
Charleen - that's great that your bank did that!
Kim - my fear is that if I don't do SOMETHING with Denise and Pete, his mother will swoop in and do EVERYTHING. To me, at times she's enabling. Like she bought them that car. We paid for Denise's education. To us, when the time comes (and it will) that we are no longer here, we've at least given her a tool where she can get a job and buy a car of her own.
Gloria - when I log on, MFP takes me to my last post.
Michele in NC
who is going to get to bed now.0
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