How to talk to those who think I have lost enough and am getting too thin

Berkgal33

First let me start by saying I am not TOO thin. I am 5'6.5" tall and weigh 170. My goal is 150. I am a size 12, almost in a 10. I am a BIG girl with big bones(really) and very broad shoulders. My problem is so many people have told me I need to stop losing now, it's enough. I am getting too thin. They refuse to believe me until I disclose how much I weigh and I HATE to do that. I understand I started at 250 and a size 20, and it's a big change; but they refuse to believe I am still in the overweight category. Any advice on how to deal and what to say to people would be welcome.

tcunbeliever

laugh hysterically at the suggestion that you are "too thin"???

Exquisitern

Some people don't know what a healthy weight is. Ignore them and smile.

Sued0nim

Say oh ok and smile

And do what you want to

kristen6350

Can I ask you where you started out? I'm 5'11 and got to 143lbs and NO ONE ever told me I was too thin (and that was a 50lb) loss.

What I'd do. I'd tell them your body is none of their business.

Berkgal33

tcunbeliever wrote: »

laugh hysterically at the suggestion that you are "too thin"???

I have done this. Lol

Berkgal33

The post was not compete, I didn't know why. I went back and edited it. Started at 250, and size 20.

janejellyroll

"Thanks for your concern. This is a personal issue and I'd rather not share my weight with you. How are you doing?"

lauracups

Ignore them

ChrisNels1

I just got this from a friend this weekend. Alcohol fueled her passion on the subject but she was adamant that I'm too thin and nothing would deter her from ranting on how the 'charts' are all BS. I know for a fact she has been told by a medical professional to lose weight and my weight loss is causing her some jealousy. Just smile pretty and say thanks but you're staying healthy and you promise not to 'lose too much'.

kristen6350

Berkgal33 wrote: »

The post was not compete, I didn't know why. I went back and edited it. Started at 250, and size 20.

I think that's why...you've come a long way and lost 80lbs. That's almost an olympic gymnast!

Congrats. I'm sure people are just use to you being 250lbs and 170 looks thin. Take it as a compliment and move on.

sllm1

"I'm good, thank you."

benevempress

Short answer: Tell them you're done and then do what you want.

Longer version: My mother was telling me I was too thin (after a 65 pound loss) but I wasn't sure I was done yet. I increased my calories a bit and told her, "It's okay, Mom. I've increased my calories. You don't have to worry." And then I proceeded to slowly lose 7 more pounds until I felt I was done. She doesn't see my scale, and her genuine concern was alleviated by believing that I wasn't going to go too far. She has never expressed concern again and has switched to complimenting me.

janekana

You could just joke about it.

"Oh no! Do you think the neighbour's dog will start chasing me because I'm as thin as a stick?"

Ruatine

I've started to get this a lot lately from my coworkers. I started at 242 - size 20 and am down to 160 - size 10 (5'7"). My answer really depends on the person asking. If it's someone I work with often and know fairly well, I'll tell them that I'm still at an overweight BMI and would like to be in the middle of my healthy weight range. If it's someone I don't really know (just enough for small talk, saying hi in the hallway, etc.), I just smile/laugh, nod and ignore them.

As annoying as it is to have people ask me about my weight loss (almost every day at work!), I try to just take it as a compliment. Most people in Western society have no clue what a healthy weight looks like. You know your body and what is healthy for you, and you're under no obligation to answer impertinent questions/comments about your body.

It really is amazing, though, how many people think it is okay to comment on my body now that I've lost weight but who would never have said anything when I actually was unhealthy.

Cherimoose

Berkgal33 wrote: »

They refuse to believe me until I disclose how much I weigh and I HATE to do that.

Why? Seems like an easy way to end the topic.

ratherbeskiing

"I am cutting" I will add weight aka muscle. Tell them your body building to kick their *kitten*... who cares what they say. I would ask them where they got their PHD and why are they still working there if they are a doctor?

Seriously, if your healthy I can be not so nice to rude comments- even if they were meant nicely.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

DEBOO7

Totally get it...
I'm also getting the 'skinny' comments and 'oh, you shouldn't lose any more weight' - it's bloody annoying.
I'm 5'2", 55 yo and now weigh 130lbs -was 210lbs. My goal is 120-122lbs which is the midpoint!
How do I deal with it... I'm honest with them and say that I'll stop when I reach the healthy weight target for me!
think it's actually other peoples insecurity. And many are right... it's generally the people who never once said to you that you were rather blobby!
Meh... at the end of the day we're each on a personal journey about loving and taking care of ourselves.

MiniMansell1964

i bet those making the comments are all overweight.

Sabine_Stroehm

When I lost weight, and folks thought it was too much and I should stop (It wasn't ever too much, I landed at 130Lbs at 5'6") I'd say: I see me naked. I see the number on the scale. I got it. Thanks.

ryry_

I've started getting this recently. I just smile and nod and move along.

JulieSHelms

I've had that comment from two different elderly women in the past week ("I don't think you should lose any more weight, dear"). They are tiny and I look like an Amazon next to them. I just laughed--I'm not just overweight, I'm still technically obese! It's simply got to be the before/after difference (I'm at -96 lbs) that they are keying on. I just chose to be flattered that someone in the world actually thinks I'm normal looking and move on.

TavistockToad

Stop talking about your weight loss.

If someone asks if you've list weight just say no and change the subject

tomteboda

I've found giving them a LOT of details about my diet , goals, and the way I'm making sure I stay healthy will glaze over even the most concerned eyes. They tend to not bring it up again. I pull out my calorie log, show them that I'm eating over 1800 calories a day, every day (sometimes as many as 2400!), point to how I take care to meet my protein and fiber goals while watching sodium intake, and show the weekly summary and the graphs. Then I launch into exactly what my BMI calculation is, and my personal concerns with the measurement given my specific medical conditions (lupus and scoliosis), and why I've set my goals exactly where they are; well above the median weight for my height ( I really make sure I hammer on this point, that my goal weight is about 30 lbs higher than the minimally acceptable weight for my current height).

I assume if they were worried about my health, all of this detail will surely assuage them. And if they were just being rude, I've now wasted at least ten minutes of their time on an EXCEEDINGLY boring topic.

RachelElser

I've discussed this with my doctor and he isn't worried so neither am I

lemurcat12

Sued0nim wrote: »

Say oh ok and smile

And do what you want to

I didn't get this a lot, but that's basically what I did.

Oh, you think so? Thanks!

Or "you aren't trying to lose weight, are you? You don't want to get too thin." Me: "I'm just working on fitness."

Really, why do you owe them more details than that, OP?

If someone asked me my weight I'd laugh and say "seriously? I don't tell people what I weight" or otherwise jokingly brush it off and change the subject.

Berkgal33

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

When I lost weight, and folks thought it was too much and I should stop (It wasn't ever too much) I'd say: I see me naked. I see the number on the scale. I got it. Thanks.

LOVE THIS!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ That is so me, even though I didn't come up with it.

Berkgal33

Thank you for so many good ideas, I really do appreciate it. As several people have commented, it is also interesting to me people feel comfortable discussing my weight now, but not before when I was rather portly!

RAinWA

Berkgal33 wrote: »

Thank you for so many good ideas, I really do appreciate it. As several people have commented, it is also interesting to me people feel comfortable discussing my weight now, but not before when I was rather portly!

This has always puzzled me too. When I weighed 260 lbs no one ever said "don't get too fat now!" but now that I am 135 lbs they are perfectly happy to say "don't get too thin now!"

And I just tell them "I won't!" and change the subject. None of their business.

minniestar55

Been there. I just say "I'm good, thanks!" , smile, & do my thing.