WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2016

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  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    :star:
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,254 Member
    edited December 2016
    (((Allie))) I say only talk to him through a lawyer and let him pay big time for his new friend if it is true. Enough is enough with his antics. You deserve so much better. Unfortunately he may have been hiding money be sure this is investigated before you agree to anything. In other words not not believe any of his sob stories. This happened to my neighbor about 20 years ago. It also recently happened to a cousin of mine and she is a very loving and giving person like you. I think (because she doesn't talk about it ) that he really took advantage of her giving nature. Let him hear you roar and do it through his pocketbook. Only talk when a lawyer is present otherwise I think he will try to manipulate you through his tirades like he has done in the past. Prayers and know we have your back.

    :heart: Margaret
  • spikeyhair
    spikeyhair Posts: 2,078 Member
    <3

    Kate UK
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Allie - I agree with Margaret; go talk to an attorney, make sure he doesn't find a way to 'hide' assets. A know a young lady whose (no 'ex') was so underhanded that he started transferring assets out of his name to family members before he filed for a divorce. She had a child, that the entire time they were married, he paid no attention to; then they had a child together who he showered with 'expensive' gifts. He got custody of the kid (whose mind had been poisoned by the dad) to the point that he did not even want to visit with her. This Christmas his dad bought him an $800 remote car; and, when she called him, he asked her what she had bought him for Christmas and was not impressed and told her so. She does not make much money; but, has to pay $300 a month in child support; but, he did have to give her 1/2 of his retirement (in 2 payments. He'd follow her around all the time, even after they divorced. Weird guy to say the least.

    Lenora
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,304 Member
    Walked the dogs for 3 miles this morning. Yoga later. I have a 30 day of yoga app that I am using did day 1 Christmas Eve, was bad yesterday, now back to it! Had a wonderful Christmas Day with family.

    Rita from now about to be New England CT.
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,088 Member
    staying and driving back with him so I know my stuff gets home safe.. after that all bets are off.. I am going to buy myself a new bed... and he can like it or lump it..
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,252 Member
    stats for the day:
    3 different heart rate monitors, 3 different readings as far as calorie burn ;0/

    spin- 55min, 84r, 123w, 11-17g, 153mhr, 22.9mi = 502c
    fitbit- 152mhr, 402c
    polar beat- chest strap- 154mhr, 251c
  • GloworminWA
    GloworminWA Posts: 704 Member
    Allie my heart goes out to you. I have to admit I have wondered about whether Tom was seeing someone else for some time now. Please know that this is not because of you - he's the one who made the decision based on his own selfish decisions. I agree with what everyone is saying about protecting yourself financially. When my mom left one time the first thing my dad did was transfer their savings to an account in his name only. He was also a very controlling SOB which is why my mom eventually divorced him. I hope you can feel all of our arms around you (((((HUGS)))))
  • JJsGirl2014
    JJsGirl2014 Posts: 20 Member
    So sorry about you Mom. Praying for comfort for your family.
  • DamitJanit
    DamitJanit Posts: 1,329 Member
    Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding . [/i]

    Good Afternoon Ladies,

    It sounds like lots of nice holidays. So glad to hear it was good for most of you. I love the term "cyber sisters"!!!

    Katla, beautiful flowers!! Glad the picture loaded!

    Joyce, that nephew gives those good hugs now cause that's the Southern way. lol

    Lois, you look wonderful. Great job!!! Thanks for sharing.

    Barbie, so sorry about the infection. I'm glad Jake took you to the doctor. Please take care!!! ((((Hugs))))

    Lou, welcome. This is a wonderful place for support and information. Come often and don't worry about that suite size. Just do what you need to do and you'll feel better in no time.

    NYKaren, your Christmas sounds wonderful and worth repeating each year.

    Allie, so sorry for this turn of events! It's not such a surprise here since he has shown you no love, affection or respect in some time. I'll bet she got a Christmas present. ppffttt (((Hugss)))


    We had a nice quiet Christmas with just the two of us. I did cook a turkey and am now planning all the leftovers. Friday I will hold an Estate Sale for my friend that moved to Texas. I sold a few things to the owner of a thrift shop and he will buy all that is left but at a very low price.


    pretty-pink-welcome-smiley-emoticon.gifto any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.

    Sending love and good thoughts to all of you and I hope you all have a Happy and Healthy Day! rainbow-smiley-emoticon.gif

    Words I live by:
    Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
    and
    Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
    I Love you, blow.gif
    DJ
    Myrtle Beach, SC
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    Allie- (((hugs))) document everything. Take everything you can get and lawyer up! Don't talk to him anymore. Don't cook, clean, or anything for him anymore. If his GF is in Florida take the Florida home or demand both houses sold. I let my ex have everything just to get out...big mistake!

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • GloworminWA
    GloworminWA Posts: 704 Member
    Allie don't worry about the money for the lawyer - your attorney will probably ask the judge to make him pay.
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,195 Member
    :)Mary, so happy to see you posting your great workouts again.

    <3Allie, it's time to take care of yourself...you've gotten some good advice on this thread....make use of it so you can get your life back

    :) Jake did the dog walking, but when my friend came over I took a walk with her, being very careful and keeping my head level and facing forward....also rode the exercise bike.

    1056287i3zmwzup2m.gif Barbie from NW Washington
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,252 Member

    spin- 55min, 84r, 123w, 11-17g, 153mhr, 22.9mi = 502c
    fitbit- 152mhr, 402c
    polar beat- chest strap- 154mhr, 251c
    jog/walk, throwing ball to yogi- 15.28min, 12.58ap, 178mhr, 110ahr, 1.1mi = 140c
    fitbit- 169mhr, 120ahr, 162c
    polar- 109ahr, 142mhr, 80c
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Alli - From the eyes of an paralegal; you 'might' have to actually pay your attorney up front; but ask that he 'pay' attorney's fees, so you will get your money back. Most attorneys will work with you for payments, but, won't get the decree taken until they've been paid in full. Our former DnL was paying her attorney by 'other' means ... so we ended up paying what he said was what it'd take to pay his fee (based on a totally uncontested divorce with no children or property as is advertised by the low-life lawyers who are just in it for their gains). We paid it and DOS's attorney typed up the Decree/Order and got it signed that day. Money went to his attorney for her to give to him. He ended up losing his license to practice law ... everybody knew what a 'low-life' he was. Just do NOT agree to have the same attorney, because the attorney will work for the one who is paying his fee. This will NOT save you any $$$, and, will cost you in the end insofar as what you might be entitled to. Get a 'go-getter' divorce attorney. Take money out of your 'joint' account, provided he has not already done so; at least take 1/2 of it (on any and all joint accounts); don't totally wipe him out at the bank as the Judge would probably not be very happy about you taking it all; but, you are entitled to at least 1/2 of it - until they tell you that you have to put part of it back. I don't know how long you've been married to Tom, but start snooping. Find out if he has other means of income such as a 401K ... if the money was put into it during your marriage you might be entitled to 1/2 of it or a portion of it. I know that is the law in Georgia. But, you have to 'ask for it'. DOS's 'ex' did not 'think' about it and she did not get any of it either.

    She did not get his car, it was his prior to the marriage. Every opportunity you get start writing down or copying important information. Ask that he keep a policy of insurance on his life and make you the sole beneficiary. I agree with Mary from Minnesota ... ask for a house or that both be sold and proceeds split evenly. I can't give you legal advice because it is against the law; but, the suggestions others have made are spot on when you are about to have your life turned upside-down. Be prepared for the roller-coaster ride while turning his insides out! Make sure to tell your attorney that he has deposited your check and only allowed you to have a measly $20 a week. Ask for a Rule Nisi Hearing (temporary hearing) that will set out temporary alimony and where you get to stay, gives you a vehicle to drive and ask that he pays for it. My sister had her 'alimony' and 'child support' named as a 'settlement' so that her 'ex' would be the one that had to pay taxes on it. That was a Florida divorce. Might not be something that could be done wherever y'all call 'home'. Make sure that he has not claimed that Florida is home for him. I know you said he went to Florida several times a year. A lot will depend on how much he stays in one place or the other. Get a checking account in your name only and start putting your check into it (at a different bank). IF it is being automatically deposited ... the banks can arrange for that to be changed; or you can go to they HRD at your job and have them change it. If you know it is going to turn ugly, make sure that you have made out a budget as if you have a rent payment, utilities and all sorts of living expenses.

    LOL! He needs to 'bend over and take it like a man'.

    Work hard for what you deserve.

    Lenora
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,088 Member
    thanks for all the advice ladies~
    I will take it all in.. yes I have alot of stuff to think over.. yes I will have my check put into a checking account my name only.. I will still help with bills as to not screw up the credit score..
    as soon as my daughter and her boyfriend move out of my dads house I will move in..
    yes I will get a bang as_ attorney and somehow will find the money to pay for it.. I have given this man 20 yrs of my life and to have it thrown in my face is just disgusting..
    he asked if I wanted to go to the beach to watch the sunset- said no, wanted me to go out to dinner ,I said no thank you.. took a ride around the park on my bike and stopped for a cocktail at my friends house. I have had alot of invites to come visit down here...
    Like I said a year ago I got all our finances on a USB and will hand it to the lawyer once I get one...
  • MrsGLT
    MrsGLT Posts: 44 Member
    Hello ladies. I've been absent again for a few days. It's just been so darn busy with Christmas. Plus I came down sick with a sinus infection but I'm much better. I've been packing up the decorations today and trying to put the house back in order.
    I've gotten almost 4000 steps today which isn't huge but I've never left the house. Trying for 1000 more before bed.
    No opinion on the recent drama other than to say we're all human. At times we do and say things we shouldn't and there's fallout. I believe we should be quick to forgive and quick to move forward when possible. That's my two cents for what it's worth.
    Time to start dinner. I hope every one had a lovely Christmas Day. Ours was wonderful. For a few precious hours all my children were here together. There is no better gift for me.
  • Charleen2
    Charleen2 Posts: 223 Member
    Christmas was good at our house, just my daughter and I. Did a nice ham with potatoes and green beans and home made cranberry sauce for our dinner.

    This time of year is the worse for me staying on track. It starts with Halloween, then Thanksgiving quickly followed by the whole Christmas foodfest.

    But wait, I'm not out of the woods yet, 2 days after Christmas is the cake and ice cream/birthday celebration for DD, followed by New Year's and then 5 days later, my birthday in January. So I wage war with my calorie intake from late October until mid-January. After that I am good till late October again. I'm been trying to gleam little gems of wisdom from this collective hive of knowledge of how to beat my calorie monster until we get into a less stressful portion of the calendar. So far the only thing I haven't done is stand on my head and rub my tummy. With that said, I have gained back only 2 lbs from my lowest weigh-in. Get me through all of this with only a 2 lb gain and I will be happy.

    Just wanted to say thanks for all the tips and suggestions that get tossed out there for folks like me.

    Charleen in Colorado (Nothing makes you feel your age until you get that Medicare card in the mail. Sigh)

  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Allie - WTG, girl!

    MrsGLT - I agree.

    Charleen2 - That's good to have only gained 2lb from your lowest weigh-in. I go, tomorrow. At least I have done a little bit of exercise 'most' days.

    Making out my list of things I'd like, or like to have done ... so DH and I can nail down the things we'll do for one another in 2017.

    Lenora
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    edited December 2016
    Allie- whatever you do Don't move out. Make him move out. He is the adulterer. The court would kick him out in a minute. Don't feel sorry for him. I am talking from my experience. My ex has everything I didn't have a lawyer and I didn't know about his retirement and he didn't tell me. He has our family home because of our verbal agreement that it goes to our kids... he remarried so that will never happen...

    Barbie - thanks. I finally got caught up with remodeling and vacationing and Christmas! I'm sorry about your inner ear. I had that before and so did my son. Not fun but you should be back to normal quickly.

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    I have not stepped on the scale in two weeks. With the stress of my mom's sickness and passing, I have done a lot of emotional eating. Hopefully, after the new year I will settle down. Funeral tomorrow and just hope there is no discord between siblings, etc. With 5 you never know. I think it is neat that 3 of the grandchildren and 3 spouses of grandchildren will be pallbearers. My sister and brother said she looked beautiful. Just hope I keep it all together as I have a tendency to cry buckets. Your prayers will be appreciated.

    Allie ~ I have no words for you. I just hope you do what is best for you and that you will follow what your instincts tell you. I think we all have an inner voice that will guide us if we listen.

    Carol
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,252 Member
    ,
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    Carol- prayers and hugs for you and your family. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • klanders30
    klanders30 Posts: 2,569 Member
    carol we are with you in spirit, take it one moment at a time. Every tear that falls is healing. I know what you mean with a big family, it really can be tricky. I will say that I was surprised at my mothers service by all the tiny moments of love that were remembered and I witnessed some little gestures between siblings that took the sting out of some of the other difficult bits. Sending <3
    NYKAREN
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,304 Member
    name-graphics-rita-105022.gif
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,826 Member
    Carol ... thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow ... and as far as I know, there's no standard measure for tears ... hugs
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
    Charlene and Rori I'm a January bday girl too! The 17th!

    Cheri
    in warm and wet College Station, TX
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    B) Carol - Sunglasses to hide puffy eyes. They'll be more sensitive to the sun when you get out in it. <3
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