WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2016

Ann262

Heather-the thing is, when WE make changes, it affects those around us, even positive change. Change is hard for us humans and we tend to resist it. Be gentle with him and yourself. Once he sees that your self improvement is no threat to him or your marriage, he will relax.


I forgot to mention, I ended up in ER last light with an abcess on my abdomen that had to have medical attention. Healing will take about 2 -3 weeks and I have to keep it dry. How am I going to exercise? I guess I can walk, I just don't want to do any really sweaty workouts until this this healed. I am fine with no loss over these next few weeks but I don't want to gain!

klanders30

heather sorry about the DH drama, mine is similar, everything reflects back to him, even when I am just talking about myself I will say I have a sensitive, generous DH but it is like he isn't hearing what I am saying - just wants to fix things and move on. I will often end things with"I guess we agree to disagree!" And take a breather from him for a bit

Barbie amazing progress with PT, I bet they wish they had more clients like you!!!

Getting some snow this a.m. Happy to stay home and putter about. Received a gorgeous fruit basket from one of my schools, how delightful to not get a plate of cookies or box of chocolates

If the roads clear we're headed to MIL to help with Christmas decorations and some banking business, I see the shift of her depending on DH more (MIL is only 75 yo). 3 of her daughters live with her but don't lift a finger to help her, whereas DH has to drive 1.5 hours through NY traffic to help-oh yeah don't get me started with that

Stay warm and cozy everyone , and push the cookie plate away!

NYKAREN

Lilymay2

Good morning everyone

Yesterday's trip is today. I am not going, DH and DS#1 are leaving at oh dark stupid and coming home tonight, eekkk, sitting for 12 hours just isn't my cup of tea! . Off to a funeral instead. Funeral lunches are interesting aren't they? So I will save my almonds for this afternoon to have with my coffee instead of the yeast and sugar (sandwiches and squares).

-32 Celsius this a.m. so will be getting out my mini trampoline and pacing around the house.

I am almost giddy with the thought that I will have the day to myself! This retirement is not all it's cracked up to be having to learn to live with someone that you've been married to for 31 years but never really lived with because you worked twelve and fourteen hours a day, interesting life it is!!

Oh well.......life goes on. I best get up and finish making cards for the funeral. And get myself ready to go to my second cousin's 100th birthday party. And finish Christmas letter, now that all the cards are made.

Take care everyone, hugs and waving to all

Lillian in very frozen West Central Saskatchewan

alsha13

May I join this group? I am 60 and need to loose 30 kilos to get to goal. I am from Western Australia. Been struggling all my life with weight and have just become more overweight. Would love some support

Ann262

Welcome Alsha!

barbiecat

Heather, One of my happiness commandments is "don't take things personally".....my husband is like yours and thinks I'm making a veiled comment about him when I share something about someone else's bad or unproductive behaviour. He also thinks I might be considering leaving him if I am distant or preoccupied with something. He'll say "what did I do" when my mood has nothing to do with him. I consider my husband to be the finest husband in the world and even so, he has these funny attitudes.

Ann262, walking is really good exercise....while you are healing, look for ways you can add extra walking time to your day.

Lillian, I rarely have time alone and when I do, I value it. When my father retired and was home all day, he drove my mother crazy....she said, "I married you for better or for worse, but not for lunch"

Alsha, welcome, I hope you keep coming back.

Barbie from NW Washington

kevrit

Snowing to beat the band here. About 4 inches already. Supposed to rain later. Going to make a nice mess. New meds helping but still not 100%. Went to get script for Celebrex but refused it $250 too much for me.

Namaste Allie!

Rita from snowy CT

kevrit

It's beginning to look like Christmas in CT!


ke Chr

csofled

Deanne182

Hi ladies, I keep coming back to MFP .. needing to get back to the healthy, sustainable lifestyle that makes me feel better, and gives me more energy to live. I'm logging in my food faithfully today and looking into strength training programs online. I have been following along here and enjoying your adventures.

@kevrit beautiful!

My screen pic is not me .. just wishful motivation. I like wearing active wear as it's comfortable and makes me feel more athletic, which I haven't been but soon will be.

willow

pipcd34

This morning, 22 degrees outside, gett
really to go to the gym

SSC1958

Cheri: Congrats on being mortgage free!

Rita: (((Hugs)))

Pip: I love the "painting" of your pooch. Can you share what software did that?

Meg: Hope the graduation and final went well

Lenora: I like your definition of the KISS principle

Mary & Margaret: What a great pic! Your smiles brightened my day!

Toni: Hope it warms up for you soon.

Becca: I love the pet pics.

Joyce: Think of you

Sue: Sorry to hear about the trouble DH is having. Sometimes they just need a swift kick!

Barbie: Glad to hear PT is over. I'll bet they put your picture on the wall as the model patient.

DJ: Waves...

Re: Waves...

Kim: I hope you are able to catch up on your sleep

Sherry: Sometimes my garmin won't sync properly with MFP and there are differences. I've decided I'll use MFP for logging and calorie counting and garmin for step counting. I think as each company does updates sometimes things can get broken. As people report the issues they fix them.

Ann262: Good work at the potluck!

Kate: Cute bear... hope you have a great flight

Lillian: Enjoy your alone time I love Barbie's mother's statement " I marred you for better or worse, but not for lunch"

Alsha & Willow: Welcome...keep posting and let us get to know you.

It has been a rough week at work, many issues to deal with that I've never encountered before. Managed to get to Tai Chi last nite which helps me to de-stress. I've been faithfully doing eye drops every waking hour, but I haven't seen (no pun intended) any improvement. I've found that the cold weather is really drying out my eyes more even without the wind chill. Off to try and get my Christmas shopping done... haven't even started yet.

Wish you all a great day...


Carey - Northern Alberta

Goals for Dec:
- Increase walking to 7500 per day by end of month
- Get to Tai Chi at least once a week
- Increase daily water intake

Peach1948

PIP ~ You have such good doggies. My Pom would be jumping all over me if I was holding a treat or toy.

RITA ~ Lots of snow! LOL

SUE in WA ~ So sorry your husband is not following the dr's orders. Would he drink flavored water or plain soda water? When my DH had a heart attack, he finally quit smoking but has gained so much weight since and doesn't realize how much that also affects his heart.

LILLIAn ~ We handle retirement by staying out of each other's way. My DH retired 5 yrs before I did and it was a big adjustment. Now, he watches tv in the den and I watch it in the office.

Finally finished wrapping the grandchildren's gifts. What a load off my mind!

Carol

grandmallie

Tom having reaction to Prednisone,severe stomach cramps, gave him Pepto and told him to stop taking steroids,will see if we need another trip to walk in.
Everyone down here that are my friends ask when I'm.coming down full time ,told them Tom retires in a year and a half but I have to work another 9-10 years bad thing about a retirement community is they say we'll all be dead by then

margaretturk

Mary it was great to see you and DH yesterday.

It was great to meet Mary's DH. He has the same sense of humor as my DH. It worked out well because we beat the snow and cold. Woke up to 6-8 inches and windy. Mary I wish I had thought to give you some kitty liter for the road. I have used it many a time when first trying to start out when parked in the snow. It took both me and my DH a good twenty minutes to move DS car (it was in the garage when you came) We have that hill and we had to back it all the way down the street to be able to get it into our driveway. My new car is now in the garage. I was able to pick it up before the snow and cold too. Picture of new car will come once we dig out.

Here in the Twin Cities we have been spoiled up until now.

I do hope you decide to wait to return home. Today is bad but when that 20-30 below hits. OUCH!

Margaret

fanncy0626

Margaret- Thankyou so much for selling me your very well taken care of car! I love it! I can hardly wait to see a picture of your new car!

Thanks everyone for the positive comments of Margaret and my picture! We did look like a couple of snow bunnies!

Now to prepare for our Christmas guests!



Mary from Minnesota

Katla49

Sherry: Our library is also a subscriber to Library to Go. DSIL lives in Malheur County and they don't seem to be participants. It is too bad, because it is a great system. Have you asked about Wasco County? If they don't subscribe, keep on going as long as you can.

Ann262: Congratulations on the way you handled the Christmas Potluck. WTG! I'm sorry to hear about your abcess. I hope it heals quickly. Walking is excellent exercise. :bigsmile:

Heather: (((HUGS))) Your DH had a tough childhood if I understand your comments about his early life. I suspect he values stability very highly and finds change threatening, even your efforts at self-improvement.

Kate: Have a great trip. :flowerforyou:

NYKaren: (((hugs)))

Lillian: BRRRRR! I hope you stay warm and safe. We have our Terra Trikes in the garage when weather keeps us cooped up inside. One of them is on a trainer and can be ridden as though it is a stationary bike. I think your trampoline sounds like fun, but my knees probably wouldn't handle the bouncing very well. :noway:

Alsha, Willow & Newbies: Welcome to a great group of supportive women. Post often.

Rita: Thanks for the snow pictures. It is snowing here at this very moment but they are tiny little flakes and aren't piling up at this point.

Pip: Thanks for sharing the photo of Kirby and the dogs. I love the hoody on the black lab. :bigsmile:

Alison: My mom had to take prednisone for years and I have a cousin who also has to take it. Both of them had/have side effects but nothing to send them to the emergency room. I suspect steroids would make a big difference for the worse. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

Margaret & Mary: Hugs to you both. I'm happy that you were able to meet, and the car sale/purchase is icing on the cake. :bigsmile:


Our new printer arrived at 7am this morning. My complaint to Amazon that dropping a package off at the Post Office does not equal two-day delivery seems to have generated a positive result. :bigsmile:



Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS

Sherry – In the State of Georgia we have PINES libraries; so we can check out or check in books all over Georgia. If one library does not have a book at their site, they can ordered it from another; as well as put ‘new’ books that are coming out on a ‘waiting list’. It’s great! I can check out books for granddaughter here and she can return them back in Carrollton (where she goes to college. Each time you get them for a 2-week period and can renew them for 2 more 2-week periods of time. After that, you have to actually bring in the books to be checked out again (then you’d still be entitled to renew them for another 2-week period of time x 2.

I’ve found that MFP site has been freezing up on me ‘in the community section’ almost every time I go to it. Very irritating, have reported it; but, so far nothing seems to have been done about it.

Lisa – I’ll check it out, thanks!

Heather – I think my DH is ‘great’; but, he has certainly been through a lot with me. Things that would have ‘run off’ a lot of men. Since I am bipolar, and, occasionally have ‘episodes’; he knows how to deal with me; and, when it is time to call my MD to tell him that my ‘medications are not working for me’. I took Lithium for quite a while; and, even though I was taking it as Rx’d, I became “Lithium Toxic” and almost died and was in the ICU for 3 weeks. One of the things he really has a hard time ‘dealing with’ are my ‘seizures’. I ask my Neurologist this week, if having seizures meant that I had ‘epilepsy’ and he told me, in my case – yes. But, they are controlled by my taking the anti-seizure meds. The one thing I cannot do is take OTC meds, vitamins, or supplements unless I run them by my PsycheMD. There are certain meds such as Tylenol, Advil, anti-depressants, etc., that I cannot take because they interfere with my bipolar meds (which added with other meds) act like anti-anxiety/anti-depressive medications. DH does NOT like me ‘having’ to be in the hospital after one incident I had. That incident was SO BAD, that I took the MD before the Composite Board of Medical Examiners and got it far enough on my own that she was investigated. My complaint was her ‘failure to treat’ (medical malfeasance) and ‘failure to release my medical records’. She had put a note on the file that ‘they were NOT to be released to me’. That is what set me off. She had not even sent them to my ‘own’ MDs which necessitated being tested for things that I should not have had to go through. Trust, when it comes to MDs is something I really do not have, until they prove to me, that they are really going to be doing things to MY benefit. I’ve got a GP, GYN, Neurologist, and PsycheMD that I trust and know that they will check with one another if an issue comes up in their particular field of medicine.

I try to ‘improve’ myself, my home, and my surroundings, what affects me in a negative way; and, I get his support. But, I am the only one who can make myself ‘happy’. Other people can make me 'unhappy'; but, only ‘if’ I let them. I think most men believe that ‘if you are not happy’ it has to be something they are doing or not doing. I have a HS friend who has found the ‘best guy in the world for her’; but, she suffers from spells of ‘deep depression’ and he cannot understand ‘why she seems to be so depressed’ … if their relationship is going so well. I don’t suffer from ‘depression’ too often (but, I do NOT like it when I have). It’s hard for me to know that others do suffer from ‘depression’ and that is something they really do not have any control over. When I feel ‘low’ … I get up and do something that I know I enjoy … paint and/or drawing. Even then, when my hands shake so badly that I cannot hold a pencil or paint brush … I get upset. Neurologist says that it is not caused from “Parkinson’s Disease” but the tremors are pretty much the same. I’m going for another MRI next week, so he can compare it to the one I had a few years ago. Medications out there; but, they probably won’t help much. Surgery is ‘totally out of the question’. The only way someone is going to operate on my brain is to remove a blood clot or bleed. I think one of the things that DH does not seem to understand me is ‘when I want to do something, I want to do it NOW’. Like with the ‘door’ to the glassed-in porch; I want it … and I want all the other things done so that I can use it like I think it was intended to be used. It’s just not ‘one’ of his priorities therefore he isn’t concerned about it. I think finishing that room is going to be ‘the thing’ I ask for, for our joint ‘big present’ to take the place of small presents over the year.

Ann – I agree that ‘our changes’ no matter how subtle affect those around us, especially the ones that live with us, or see us making those changes. Even ‘if’ they are ‘positive’ changes. It’s a lot easier when you can walk through those changes together.

Sorry you ended up in the ER. What caused the abscess?

NYKAREN – LOL! It’s like when my DH comes in after I have busted my @$$ cleaning the house and he says, “The house looks GREAT; but, why didn’t you dust the TV screen?” Maybe I am taking a break and have not gotten to it. However, that “BUT” just wipes out anything he said prior to it. After 44 years … he is getting better about NOT saying that word, after numerous times of my telling him what and how it make me thing or feel.

You're saying that she’s 75-years-old and still has 3 daughters living with her? Don’t you mean living ‘off’ her? They have to be ‘old enough’ to be ‘out on their own’. They should be doing all sorts of things for her; cleaning up, cooking, running errands, taking her out for something enjoyable, and the list goes on and on.

Lillian – I am going to look for one of those mini trampolines. I could jump on one for a long time. I had one before we got married; but, it was one that was slanted, for doing ‘flips’ off as a cheerleader. Don’t think I should try that! LOL! My DH is 75; and, doesn’t seem to be even ‘thinking’ much about retirement; but, he does come in ‘exhausted’. I get things said to me by DDnL#1 about him not letting DOS do enough so that he could take over the business. DH says he is letting DOS do more and more – giving quotes, writing checks, etc.; but, I also know DH well enough that he isn’t ready to take ‘orders’ from son about what and where and why they will be painting at one place. DH usually has 3 jobs in various states of finishing them; but, DOS is always asking ‘why he does go to one job and finish it before starting something else’. Because he has to keep the ‘inside’ jobs for when it is raining or too cold or hot to paint the outside jobs … and still have steady money coming in. He is beginning to understand. I’ve told him that he ‘needs to make up his mind what he wants to do when he grows up’. Since DDnL#1 has said ‘numerous times’ that he does NOT want to take over the business. DH has also suggested that he go to the technical college to learn how to do something that he could make a living at. He checked into ‘welding’ and it is a 2-year program. Driving a big truck (which is what his first FnL did) is also a 2-year program and he has to be able to pass the test to get the special license to do so. He is 40-years-old, with only one year of college under his belt. NOW, he says they can’t afford it – since DDnL#1 just started a ‘new’ job and doesn’t make enough to pay the bills. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Barbie – I think most all men have that itty bitty something in the back of their minds that ‘somehow they are not doing every little thing to make us ecstatically happy’. Something that seems to be their last tie to their teenage years or young adults - like asking "did I do it right?" - 'am I complaining'?. But, I also think that we, as wives or partners, also have some of that ‘old baggage’ that we bring into our relationships as well. I know that DDnL#2 gets upset each month that she hasn’t missed her cycle, because she knows that DYS ‘has met the woman of his dreams and she cannot procreate like the Bible says’. I really wish that I could say something that would settle her mind about them not being able to have a child (at this moment in their lives). He loves her daughter as if she was HIS daughter. Not having another baby does not define his love for her.

“For better or worse, but not for lunch!” That’s GREAT statement. Wise woman.

Rita – If my Medicare and insurance did not pay my medications (for the most part), I would refuse them, too. I told my MD the last time he Rx’d an ‘inhaler’ for me, that he would HAVE to find one that is cheaper than the $55 (for 120 puffs). Supposed to be doing two puffs a day? I don’t think so, I am going to use it ‘for emergencies’ with my breathing.

Is that big tree in your yard? It is magnificent looking.

Carey – Yep, I don’t think there are really many, if any, ‘stupid’ people … just people doing ‘stupid things’. But, I can think of a ‘few’ that do that and should just K.I.S.S.; but, that isn’t their way of doing things. Even showing them an easier or better way won’t change their minds; although they think you should see it their way.

Maybe you can get some of those ‘wrap around’ glasses that would protect your eyes from the cold and snow. Sort of like safety glasses that wrap around your eyes.

Allie – Maybe if you and Tom can sit down and discuss your financial situation; and, make some changes – you could actually move to the ‘retirement community’ in FL; even ‘if’ you still had to work. I don’t know what you do for a living; but, a lot of things that women work at outside the home can be applied to something similar at another business. If you have a ‘retirement’ account, take the money out and pay off your bills, sell the house up North, pack up, and move to a place that is ‘warm’ and you can ‘do things year round’. Make changes so that you can enjoy your FL friends. I ‘had’ to retire at the age of 50±; not something I wanted to do; but, I was not longer able to do my job due to my disability (bipolar disorder) like I had been doing for the previous 20 years. My retirement was invested; and, when I retired and was able to apply for SSD – I got a ‘lump sum’ from the date I retired retroactive to when I was finally able to get the funds (about a year’s worth of pay). We used that to put the down payment on this land. At this point in my life, I think I would enjoy moving into a ‘retirement community’ and not have to deal with the upkeep of a place with 90 acres along with it. If I were on my own for whatever reason, I would pay it off, get the deeds to each son, and find a nice ‘gated community’ in the panhandle of FL (or even around Orange Beach, FL) and move in a ‘heartbeat’. The only thing that would probably give me pause, would be finding MDs that I am comfortable with.


Lenora

grandmallie

Lenora~ I think Tom would in a heartbeat..but it all hinges on insurance.. and I mean everything..
he wants to wait until he turns 66 to retire, he is eligible for medicare next august, but me I am 56 and still need to work and have insurance...
I am a dental assistant and I really dont want to stay in that field if I come down here, I work well with seniors so will look into that somehow.. but we also still have obligations up North ~ Our dads, mine is 88 and my FIL is 89 and we have to stay for them at least for now,my daughter and granddaughter just moved back and are closing on there first house next week.
I would soooo love to be down here full time. but we will see what the Lord has in store..

cityjaneLondon

Thank you ladies for your support. It really helps.
DH was still in a mood until around 3 pm, though perfectly polite, but he then went out for a walk and came back in a better frame of mind. He is fine now. Katla and Barbie - any sort of criticism, even wrongly perceived, sets him off. I think when he was young he never felt he was doing the right thing. His mother was bipolar and hospitalised ftom time to time. He could not bring friends home. His father never praised him in any way. (He was adopted ) I think most of his life he was fighting a rearguard action. But I don't like having to tread on eggshells around him.

I made my Pistachio Soup. Never again! It tastes delicious, but the amount of work getting the skin off the pistachios! ! ! It is now safely in the freezer and I have to decide who I love enough to give it to! :noway:
Going to make the Walnut sauce tomorrow.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxx