WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2016
Replies
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NYKAREN – K.I.S.S. for me means Keep It Simple Sister (not ‘stupid’) … although some I do mean ‘stupid’ for some people. LOL!
Allie – Maybe it is so he (or a neighbor) can check out your FL place since there are so many burglaries in a lot of places. Especially, if they drive or walk by and don’t see a car there for part of the year. Maybe one of your neighbors would be willing to park one of their cars in different positions/locations to try to ward any potential break-ins from occurring.
Your speech sounds good … but, rather say ‘you’ … not, generally, ‘husband’. Your check into your bank account, with you paying some of the bills. This is only ‘fair’ to you especially if there is ever a chance that (God forbid) he passes away before you do. You need to know ‘how to go about paying the bills’ if that happens. He should not keep you ‘protected’ by ‘keeping you in the dark’ (and that is what he is doing, especially if you only get $20 a week). You should be able to buy something for yourself, if you budget your money and pay your share of bills. If he makes more than you … he should keep the ‘larger’ bills such as any ‘mortgage’ (maybe) utility bill. His bills he has incurred, you pay the ones you have incurred. I think you are being totally reasonable to try to talk to him about paying bills and depositing your check into your own account. Make an arrangement that maybe they be ‘joint’ accounts; but, you never write a check on his account; he never writes one on your account. Maybe at 2 different banks. That’s how my DH and I do our checkbooks and it works for us. His SSI check is directly deposited into his account; my SSD and Retirement checks are directly deposited into my account. It is NOT difficult to have that changed, all you have to do is go to the bank and ask that your check be deposited into your account (at any bank you choose). When DH’s bank decided to change the account numbers on his/our joint account (his) he had to go to the bank and have his SSI and any PAD (Pre-Authorized Deductions) change over.
They had an overlap so that is his SSI check got deposited into his first account number, it would actually be transferred to his ‘new’ numbered account. They paid for him to get ‘new’ checks printed. Which was good, as he had just ordered business checks (and they usually costs about $300) because of the number he gets (and deposit slips). If you don’t have your own account, then he also would need to show you ‘how to balance’ your account. I think men who ‘control’ the money don’t think about what would happen to the wife if he should predecease their wives. Carol might be right that he won’t like it; but, you can go to the bank and ask them ‘if’ they can do it without him having to sign off on it. I know I had to go sign a new signatory card. If he doesn’t ‘like’ it; then, he can just ‘get over it’.
Penny – When I was younger, a friend and I would eat ‘sardines’ on crackers. I’m not sure I can do that now. I won’t eat anchovies on pizzas either. I know they add salt; but, still don’t like the taste. Tried them on a salad and ended up putting them on the side of my plate. I don’t want anything that is going to make me burp; my medications do that for me. But, I guess a ‘burp’ is better than a ‘fart’.
Barbie – What book is everybody talking about [that you or Lisa have published]?
Rita – UTIs can make you feel like royal $#^T. I hope you don’t have repeated ones. I had 4 in 2 months’ time; the last time they catheterized me. But, I told his nurse, that I did not want a pelvic or rectal exam; because I would be ‘mortified’ … if I could not ‘hold’ myself. I had taken way too many laxatives – and they had really worked (I was trying to see if they would relieve things, because I was not only hurting/burning from the UTI; I was also constipated. Nurse said she’d give him a ‘head’s up’. I told her – it would be a ‘bottom’s up’. When he came in, he told me that his nurse had told me to not let him do the exams. For all it had done, I probably could have had a colonoscopy that day.
Pip – That has to be a ‘painting’ of one of your dogs. Beautiful. I was commissioned to paint one of my neighbor’s dog that had died from cancer, diabetes, and other health issues. They had spent a small fortune on the dog and had even travelled to Birmingham, AL for treatments. She had her own sofa in their den, she slept between them in bed, and when she passed away, he had someone build a coffin (small) with all the satin cover inside. He might have bought a child’s coffin for all I know. He had his preacher come out and say a short eulogy for the dog. That takes loving a pet, a bit far. He bragged about it, too.
Lenora0 -
Thanks for setting the record straight, Heather.
In my opinion, kippers are an acquired taste, like Marmite and peanut butter and cod liver oil. I grew up on peanut butter and acquired a taste for Marmite when I lived in London at age 11. Kippers never grew on me, though. My issue with them isn't so much that they stink up the house, as that they keep coming back all day in the form of burps.
Cod liver oil does the same thing, but the brand I buy has a delicate lemony flavor so I don't mind the burps. After moving to Norway, I've even grown to like it. For the first few years after we moved, my husband prevented me from even trying by saying - at random moments on weekend mornings - "When I burp, it tastes like cod liver oil." :noway:
He's supposed to be coming home to Longyearbyen today. His flight was delayed out of Tromsø for a couple hours because of fog in Longyearbyen. The plane has taken off now, but just before departure he texted "They're going to give it a go." Highly encouraging...
/Penny at the North Pole, where the lights of the airport are currently visible
First of all, yuckyyuckyyucky to the cod liver oil.
Now to your husband, "They're going to give it a go", eh? Highly encouraging, indeed, or perhaps amusing if one is into morbid humor. He must be quite the challenge, LOL! Sounds like he's the master of deadpan humor.
Karen in Virginia still chuckling0 -
I had a great morning visiting with Margaret! As you know from her post she was getting a new car! Well I bought her old car! A beautiful gold Malibu! Thank you very much Margaret! I also had the privilege of meeting her DH, Fred. All I can say is lucky woman!
Mary from Minnesota10 -
Two beautiful snow bound ladies! You both look happy and lovely.2
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The deed is done! We no longer own a house! Phew! As they say around these parts WHOOP!
Cheri
Mortgage free in TX7 -
Today was a "reunion" breakfast with my buddies from my old Y that closed. So good to see them. We're a mix of guys and gals that hung out over coffee after we'd work out. Some were missing because they are snowbirds who spend the winter in Florida.
Allie - your thoughts are good.They need to be shared. Be sure you use "I" statements. Don't put him on the defensive with "you" messages. I would consider doing this when you get home from your vacation. Kind of a logical breaking point after you've had fun with your friends.
Rita - sending you a hug and a smile.
Mary - I am jealous that you and Margaret got to play on the snow TOGETHER! Wonderful picture!
Toni in very cold middle Tennessee4 -
Yeah, WTG Mary and Margaret! Fabulous!
Heather UK xxxxxxx2 -
GRITSandSLUTS wrote: »NYKAREN – K.I.S.S. for me means Keep It Simple Sister (not ‘stupid’) … although some I do mean ‘stupid’ for some people. LOL!
Allie – Maybe it is so he (or a neighbor) can check out your FL place since there are so many burglaries in a lot of places. Especially, if they drive or walk by and don’t see a car there for part of the year. Maybe one of your neighbors would be willing to park one of their cars in different positions/locations to try to ward any potential break-ins from occurring.
Your speech sounds good … but, rather say ‘you’ … not, generally, ‘husband’. Your check into your bank account, with you paying some of the bills. This is only ‘fair’ to you especially if there is ever a chance that (God forbid) he passes away before you do. You need to know ‘how to go about paying the bills’ if that happens. He should not keep you ‘protected’ by ‘keeping you in the dark’ (and that is what he is doing, especially if you only get $20 a week). You should be able to buy something for yourself, if you budget your money and pay your share of bills. If he makes more than you … he should keep the ‘larger’ bills such as any ‘mortgage’ (maybe) utility bill. His bills he has incurred, you pay the ones you have incurred. I think you are being totally reasonable to try to talk to him about paying bills and depositing your check into your own account. Make an arrangement that maybe they be ‘joint’ accounts; but, you never write a check on his account; he never writes one on your account. Maybe at 2 different banks. That’s how my DH and I do our checkbooks and it works for us. His SSI check is directly deposited into his account; my SSD and Retirement checks are directly deposited into my account. It is NOT difficult to have that changed, all you have to do is go to the bank and ask that your check be deposited into your account (at any bank you choose). When DH’s bank decided to change the account numbers on his/our joint account (his) he had to go to the bank and have his SSI and any PAD (Pre-Authorized Deductions) change over.
They had an overlap so that is his SSI check got deposited into his first account number, it would actually be transferred to his ‘new’ numbered account. They paid for him to get ‘new’ checks printed. Which was good, as he had just ordered business checks (and they usually costs about $300) because of the number he gets (and deposit slips). If you don’t have your own account, then he also would need to show you ‘how to balance’ your account. I think men who ‘control’ the money don’t think about what would happen to the wife if he should predecease their wives. Carol might be right that he won’t like it; but, you can go to the bank and ask them ‘if’ they can do it without him having to sign off on it. I know I had to go sign a new signatory card. If he doesn’t ‘like’ it; then, he can just ‘get over it’.
Penny – When I was younger, a friend and I would eat ‘sardines’ on crackers. I’m not sure I can do that now. I won’t eat anchovies on pizzas either. I know they add salt; but, still don’t like the taste. Tried them on a salad and ended up putting them on the side of my plate. I don’t want anything that is going to make me burp; my medications do that for me. But, I guess a ‘burp’ is better than a ‘fart’.
Barbie – What book is everybody talking about [that you or Lisa have published]?
Rita – UTIs can make you feel like royal $#^T. I hope you don’t have repeated ones. I had 4 in 2 months’ time; the last time they catheterized me. But, I told his nurse, that I did not want a pelvic or rectal exam; because I would be ‘mortified’ … if I could not ‘hold’ myself. I had taken way too many laxatives – and they had really worked (I was trying to see if they would relieve things, because I was not only hurting/burning from the UTI; I was also constipated. Nurse said she’d give him a ‘head’s up’. I told her – it would be a ‘bottom’s up’. When he came in, he told me that his nurse had told me to not let him do the exams. For all it had done, I probably could have had a colonoscopy that day.
Pip – That has to be a ‘painting’ of one of your dogs. Beautiful. I was commissioned to paint one of my neighbor’s dog that had died from cancer, diabetes, and other health issues. They had spent a small fortune on the dog and had even travelled to Birmingham, AL for treatments. She had her own sofa in their den, she slept between them in bed, and when she passed away, he had someone build a coffin (small) with all the satin cover inside. He might have bought a child’s coffin for all I know. He had his preacher come out and say a short eulogy for the dog. That takes loving a pet, a bit far. He bragged about it, too.
Lenora
No painting, just an app to make it look like one0 -
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We yesterdays' volunteering went well. I sang Happy Birthday to the MC of the luncheons, and then the sweet lady that told me it was his birthday said, "Now sing another Happy Birthday song, all high like you do". I asked her, " Um you mean my opera like songs?" I said, "Well none of them are Happy Birthday, just in Italian". I did sing behind him while he was eating, (I was instructed by the sweet lady to do so), and gave a solid B performance... Since I do it a cappella, then if I start a little higher than normal, my ending high notes are somewhat screechy.... I think I stopped and said, "oh geez" and gave it another go.... I said to people that my notes come up from my toes and I can't get them thru my teeth sometimes... I don't warm up, (which I shall do in the future), so its like starting an old car and doing a drag race.
I came home from that, ate my fish cake that they were serving, a couple of bites of a really sweet square of cake, and promptly went to sleep. All that socializing just did me in:-)
Today we get to visit a food bank, so I hope there are some items that we need. When my eldest son comes on the 23rd, we sadly will have him pay for a lot of the fixings for his favorite meals. He loves Japanese food, and the rice I buy is about $15 for a bag. But if you want great sticky white rice, then you pay for it! My teenager loves fried rice so when he goes into the Navy that is one item I won't buy as often. Actually I think we shall see quite a difference in our grocery bills each month, but I would pay that money and much more instead of feeling that void that my heart will have...
Today is bright blue skies, frosty fields, and iced over mud puddles, but no snow. I think we are the warmest place in the state...
Becca
Oregon0 -
Toni and Allie – When I suggested using ‘you’, it was because using ‘husband’ could be easily misconstrued as ‘others’, not your husband; or say ‘my husband’. He is probably going to go into a ‘defensive’ mode, even if you called him by name. He is a control freak, maybe thinking that he is ‘taking care of you’; but, you don’t feel that way. Sounds like you feel like a caged bird, with a beautiful voice and want to be able to get out and test your wings. Wherever you choose to confront him is really up to you. I assume that you must have supportive friends in both places, if his reaction does not make you comfortable. From some of the posts I get the impression that he is very vocal (yelling) when things are not going along with ‘his’ plans.
Pip – Well it was certainly a good app; it looked exactly like it was a painting.
Lenora1 -
Mary & Margaret: It is awesome that you got to visit in person. WTG!!! Nice deal with the cars, too. I love the photo of the two of you. :bigsmile:
Cheri: Congratulations on the sale of your house. WTG!!!
Becca: Your musical ability is a gift and you are generous to share it.
Pip: I love your dog "painting."
It is gorgeous outside today. There is bright sunshine and snow on the flowerbeds and lawn. The sidewalks and streets seem pretty clear in my neighborhood. I missed yoga this morning but rode DH's bike in the garage long enough to burn a good number of calories and I am feeling energized.
"So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because the perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it's also the enemy of the realistic, the possible and the fun."
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Allie, the things you want to tell Tom are very reasonable, but unfortunately, nothing you've shared about Tom suggests that he is reasonable. Having the conversation in Connecticut sounds like a better choice than in Florida with the long trip home looming afterwards. Do you have a plan of what you'll do if he deems your suggestions not OK with him?
Mary and Margaret, I love the picture and the fact that you were able to meet in conjunction with the change of ownership of the car.Lenora, everything I've written about books has been about books that I've read...I'm not a writer. Today is my last scheduled physical therapy appointment. I now have 15 exercises to do 10-30 times twice a day. I think I have enough to keep me busy along with dog walking, dancing, and riding the exercise bike. Barbie from chilly NW Washington 3 -
afternoon ladies~
thank you all so for your kind words of advice.. which I will take into consideration... right now all is quiet, I wrote down what I wanted to say, and you all are correct in waiting until I get home...
I did go out and buy myself a few things and Tom worked on the back patio... well with him working on back patio in Florida , means fire ants.. and you guessed it he got bit a number of times ,so off to the Dr he went for a shot and going to pharmacy for steroids .. he never ever learns
showered and off to take the boys for a walk and then going with Mary to the voices of la casa..2 -
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allie, I wish you all the luck in your talk with Tom. I am with the others, don't be surprised if he just either laughs in your face or gets up and leaves without saying anything. This may need to go to a mediation situation with some one else making decisions.
Sherry, I have seen many RVs with dishes. When we had our directV installed, they didn't get any kind of signal until they got up on our roof. Now we have the huge tree removed and we could have had it placed in a better place.
My Grumpy Pants decided to wake up and put on his husband pants this morning. I know how slow he walks and how he hates cold weather but he is out running the errands needed today. He wouldn't let me go with him. I really didn't want to go out at all in this bitter weather. I was able to get, with no problem, a water resorvior for my CPAP, then he went to the grocery store. I convinced the man that there are some simple meals he can fix for the two of us. I had him pick up all the fixins for a big pot of vegetable soup. It won't have tomatoes in it like he likes it but he didn't even want it. One of the new blood pressure medicines I was put on in the hospital isn't on my insurance med list. So they gave me alternatives which I called to my doctor's office. They just called back and said that both my cardiologist and familly doc says I can't take any of the alternatives. I see doc on Tuesday and I guess it will be resolved then. Or at least another drug given. This drug works with the kidney filtration system.
OK, Charlie is home, I need to figure out how to put this water thing in my CPAP.
Joyce, Indiana2 -
OK I am an emotional ping-pong ball today! I was soo emotional at the food bank, long story, but the gist of it was that I played the victim, and I need to stop doing that. I let negative people have control of me, and I need to not let it bother me. So I got into a better frame of mind, (thank goodness my husband said) and then just got off the phone with Kim from Dublin CA!!! I am blessed by her friendship and all of your ladies friendship :-) So instead of venting about my experience today, I am posting a picture of my childhood dog Katie, and my cat Thomas!
Becca
Oregon
7 -
Question peeps. I finally bought this humidifier for my CPAP. I didn't buy any distilled water, well I forgot to tell Charlie to get it. How do I make it?0
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Hello all: I have been lurking and reading although I got somewhat behind. Finally made DH go to primary doc on Monday. He was so dehydrated that they could not get a BP. Doctor ordered an ambulance and he went directly from the office to the hospital. Doc said he had lost 25 pounds in the last two months. Took him off several meds including diabetic ones. He needs to have everything readjusted. That will happen next Tuesday. He was told to drink lots of water (8-12 cups per day) after lithotripsy on Nov 7 and just refused to do so. Because he was not drinking or eating but still taking meds he was dizzy and nauseous every time he stood up. He was admitted to the hospital with acute kidney injury, kidneys not functioning. Finally on Wednesday morning tests came back with better kidney function so they let him come home on the condition that he keep drinking lots and eat. I continue to keep asking him what he has eaten or drunk and he is angry because I am "pushing him". I refused to take him to the store with me yesterday because it was past noon and he had not eaten anything yet. Sometimes I just want to smack him. All of this could have been prevented by simply following the doctor's orders in the first place.
Sherry - I loved the pictures of the tractor parade. DD and I are saving up for one to use on our place. Hope you get your TV woes worked out soon.
Lisa - Glad you are working on your book again.
Becca - Love the pet pictures and singing.
Pip - That is a cool app.
Mary and Margaret - So glad things worked out as they did. Nice picture ladies.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA
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