Ask a mortician
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Coroners usually give you cause of death? And have you ever been suspicious of any death that seemed odd?
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Bucknutz247 wrote: »Hell I'd probably fake my death just to try and get a date with you. Lol
that sounds a lil' desperate....
although,upon first reading, I thought to myself: Hey, that's a pretty good idea!1 -
You're such a romantic.Bucknutz247 wrote: »Hell I'd probably fake my death just to try and get a date with you. LolCoroners usually give you cause of death? And have you ever been suspicious of any death that seemed odd?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
we cremated an attorney's wife who got up one night and supposedly choked on French fries during a midnight snack. He had a million dollar insurance policy in her.3 -
Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?1
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Laurie6578 wrote: »Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?
Close the eyes and mouth. Make a one inch incision at the base of the neck parallel with the collarbone, raise the Carotid artery and the jugular vein,insert spring angular forceps into the vein, inject embalming fluid through the carotid artery and drain the blood through the opening in the jugular. Once the tank on the embalming machine is empty remove the instruments. Insert the trocar into the abdomen one inch up and over to the left of the belly button. Move the trocar back and forth in a sawing motion while punturing the major organs. Then hypodermically inject the abdominal cavity with cavity fluid. Seal the opening with a trocar button. Give the deceased a bath and you're all done.
I encounter many different beliefs in my line of work and I treat everyone of them with respect. Not everyone likes the same flavor of ice cream. I am a Christian and I believe we all go to one of two places when we die.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Laurie6578 wrote: »Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?
Close the eyes and mouth. Make a one inch incision at the base of the neck parallel with the collarbone, raise the Carotid artery and the jugular vein,insert spring angular forceps into the vein, inject embalming fluid through the carotid artery and drain the blood through the opening in the jugular. Once the tank on the embalming machine is empty remove the instruments. Insert the trocar into the abdomen one inch up and over to the left of the belly button. Move the trocar back and forth in a sawing motion while punturing the major organs. Then hypodermically inject the abdominal cavity with cavity fluid. Seal the opening with a trocar button. Give the deceased a bath and you're all done.
Do you offer 'twofer sales' ?
and...
Do you have a frequent flyer program?
btw.... your post above is fascinating; really, it is.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Laurie6578 wrote: »[ I believe we all go to one of two places when we die.
I believe we all go to one of two places when we die.
=================================
One of those places is Los Angeles, isn't it?
I've been there and the traffic is just pure Hell.4 -
Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Laurie6578 wrote: »Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?
Close the eyes and mouth. Make a one inch incision at the base of the neck parallel with the collarbone, raise the Carotid artery and the jugular vein,insert spring angular forceps into the vein, inject embalming fluid through the carotid artery and drain the blood through the opening in the jugular. Once the tank on the embalming machine is empty remove the instruments. Insert the trocar into the abdomen one inch up and over to the left of the belly button. Move the trocar back and forth in a sawing motion while punturing the major organs. Then hypodermically inject the abdominal cavity with cavity fluid. Seal the opening with a trocar button. Give the deceased a bath and you're all done.
Do you offer 'twofer sales' ?
and...
Do you have a frequent flyer program?
btw.... your post above is fascinating; really, it is.
Last year, we had one family 3 times within 6 months and we gave them a discount. I felt so sorry for them.2 -
Hell is Chuck-E-Cheese on a Saturday9
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Laurie6578 wrote: »Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?
Close the eyes and mouth. Make a one inch incision at the base of the neck parallel with the collarbone, raise the Carotid artery and the jugular vein,insert spring angular forceps into the vein, inject embalming fluid through the carotid artery and drain the blood through the opening in the jugular. Once the tank on the embalming machine is empty remove the instruments. Insert the trocar into the abdomen one inch up and over to the left of the belly button. Move the trocar back and forth in a sawing motion while punturing the major organs. Then hypodermically inject the abdominal cavity with cavity fluid. Seal the opening with a trocar button. Give the deceased a bath and you're all done.
Do you offer 'twofer sales' ?
and...
Do you have a frequent flyer program?
btw.... your post above is fascinating; really, it is.
Last year, we had one family 3 times within 6 months and we gave them a discount. I felt so sorry for them.
whoa.... I was clowning, that's rough.
also, I was thinking about when you said that you had to rewrite an obit (sp?) several times for one family ( I think it was five revisions), why not include one revision in the price of your services and then charge extra for all future revisions? Why not get paid for your time, effort and sanity?0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Hell is Chuck-E-Cheese on a Saturday
truth.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Laurie6578 wrote: »Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?
Close the eyes and mouth. Make a one inch incision at the base of the neck parallel with the collarbone, raise the Carotid artery and the jugular vein,insert spring angular forceps into the vein, inject embalming fluid through the carotid artery and drain the blood through the opening in the jugular. Once the tank on the embalming machine is empty remove the instruments. Insert the trocar into the abdomen one inch up and over to the left of the belly button. Move the trocar back and forth in a sawing motion while punturing the major organs. Then hypodermically inject the abdominal cavity with cavity fluid. Seal the opening with a trocar button. Give the deceased a bath and you're all done.
Do you offer 'twofer sales' ?
and...
Do you have a frequent flyer program?
btw.... your post above is fascinating; really, it is.
Last year, we had one family 3 times within 6 months and we gave them a discount. I felt so sorry for them.
whoa.... I was clowning, that's rough.
also, I was thinking about when you said that you had to rewrite an obit (sp?) several times for one family ( I think it was five revisions), why not include one revision in the price of your services and then charge extra for all future revisions? Why not get paid for your time, effort and sanity?
That obituary was the one for the memorial record where we can list every Tom,Dick, and Harry related to the deceased. The obituary for the newspaper is more formal and focuses on the time of services.
I spent over an hour making the dang thing the way they wanted it and then they changed the whole thing.Plus I had to make it a trifold because they wanted 18 pictures in it (I kid you not.) If we charged them extra it would piss them off and we would lose business. I just grin and bare through it.1 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Laurie6578 wrote: »Can you explain in sequence how you prepare the body and do you break up the organs with the trocar? The thought of that freaks me out. a bit..I know makes no sense. Also, working so closely with the dead, do you have strong spiritual beliefs and if so, what do you believe happens after death?
Close the eyes and mouth. Make a one inch incision at the base of the neck parallel with the collarbone, raise the Carotid artery and the jugular vein,insert spring angular forceps into the vein, inject embalming fluid through the carotid artery and drain the blood through the opening in the jugular. Once the tank on the embalming machine is empty remove the instruments. Insert the trocar into the abdomen one inch up and over to the left of the belly button. Move the trocar back and forth in a sawing motion while punturing the major organs. Then hypodermically inject the abdominal cavity with cavity fluid. Seal the opening with a trocar button. Give the deceased a bath and you're all done.
Do you offer 'twofer sales' ?
and...
Do you have a frequent flyer program?
btw.... your post above is fascinating; really, it is.
Last year, we had one family 3 times within 6 months and we gave them a discount. I felt so sorry for them.
whoa.... I was clowning, that's rough.
also, I was thinking about when you said that you had to rewrite an obit (sp?) several times for one family ( I think it was five revisions), why not include one revision in the price of your services and then charge extra for all future revisions? Why not get paid for your time, effort and sanity?
That obituary was the one for the memorial record where we can list every Tom,Dick, and Harry related to the deceased. The obituary for the newspaper is more formal and focuses on the time of services.
I spent over an hour making the dang thing the way they wanted it and then they changed the whole thing.Plus I had to make it a trifold because they wanted 18 pictures in it (I kid you not.) If we charged them extra it would piss them off and we would lose business. I just grin and bare through it.
yeah... I understand
18 photos seems excessive. One or two seems more appropriate.0 -
We don't do those standard 3.5 inch ones like most funeral homes. I try to personalize each one based on what the deceased liked- sports, hunting, fishing, military, etc. I'll post pictures of a few when I get back to work on Monday.3
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BTW you are adorable and thank you for answering my questions.3
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It's my pleasure0
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Do people bury themselves with a special item? If so, what are some of the most popular? Most interesting? Most 'I didn't think of that'?0
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Pictures are the most common item. The odds things are beer, Big Mac with fries, and a flashlight.1
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Pictures are the most common item. The odds things are beer, Big Mac with fries, and a flashlight.
Buried with the murder weapon?1 -
I watched too much ID network. Lol, is there any video of her or him getting French fries before midnight like at McDonald's or something? Was there any affairs happening? I'd like to hear what the detective thought.LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
You're such a romantic.Bucknutz247 wrote: »Hell I'd probably fake my death just to try and get a date with you. LolCoroners usually give you cause of death? And have you ever been suspicious of any death that seemed odd?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
we cremated an attorney's wife who got up one night and supposedly choked on French fries during a midnight snack. He had a million dollar insurance policy in her.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Have any fights broke out at the funeral home that required compensation?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Pictures are the most common item. The odds things are beer, Big Mac with fries, and a flashlight.
Buried with the murder weapon?
He was a big gun enthusiast.
I watched too much ID network. Lol, is there any video of her or him getting French fries before midnight like at McDonald's or something? Was there any affairs happening? I'd like to hear what the detective thought.LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
You're such a romantic.Bucknutz247 wrote: »Hell I'd probably fake my death just to try and get a date with you. LolCoroners usually give you cause of death? And have you ever been suspicious of any death that seemed odd?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
we cremated an attorney's wife who got up one night and supposedly choked on French fries during a midnight snack. He had a million dollar insurance policy in her.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It was ruled any accident.
Physical fights are rare. We call the police if something breaks out. We aren't responsible for people acting like idoits.0 -
Is the story true about big fee and hands?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
How hard is it to dress the deceased? I imagine pantyhose in particular is no fun to put on.
This is the best thread!1 -
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Motorsheen wrote: »
OP mentioned earlier that she will talk gently to anyone who seems stuck "come on and work with me, (Mrs. Jones)."
My question was briefly touched on earlier but I'm curious to learn more: besides the finishing bath (is that just a basic sponge-off w/only water?), do you do anything for a body that could safely cross over to the Land of the Living if necessary (for instance, the lift-the-jugular step. Could my doctor do that in surgery if necessary or would he lose his job/right to practice medicine anymore?)?0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »
OP mentioned earlier that she will talk gently to anyone who seems stuck "come on and work with me, (Mrs. Jones)."
My question was briefly touched on earlier but I'm curious to learn more: besides the finishing bath (is that just a basic sponge-off w/only water?), do you do anything for a body that could safely cross over to the Land of the Living if necessary (for instance, the lift-the-jugular step. Could my doctor do that in surgery if necessary or would he lose his job/right to practice medicine anymore?)?
just run'em through
$6.99 ......no muss, no fuss !
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Is the story true about big fee and hands?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Not true.How hard is it to dress the deceased? I imagine pantyhose in particular is no fun to put on.
This is the best thread!
I hate panty hose with a passion, I call them Satan's underwear. We cut the clothes up the back. Dressing people isn't difficult unless the clothes are too small.Motorsheen wrote: »
OP mentioned earlier that she will talk gently to anyone who seems stuck "come on and work with me, (Mrs. Jones)."
My question was briefly touched on earlier but I'm curious to learn more: besides the finishing bath (is that just a basic sponge-off w/only water?), do you do anything for a body that could safely cross over to the Land of the Living if necessary (for instance, the lift-the-jugular step. Could my doctor do that in surgery if necessary or would he lose his job/right to practice medicine anymore?)?
We have to tear through a few muscles to get to the carotid and jugular. It blows my mind how surgeons can fix one thing without screwing up another in the process. I need tips from doctors, not the other way around
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Is the story true about big fee and hands?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Not true.How hard is it to dress the deceased? I imagine pantyhose in particular is no fun to put on.
This is the best thread!
I hate panty hose with a passion, I call them Satan's underwear. We cut the clothes up the back. Dressing people isn't difficult unless the clothes are too small.Motorsheen wrote: »
OP mentioned earlier that she will talk gently to anyone who seems stuck "come on and work with me, (Mrs. Jones)."
My question was briefly touched on earlier but I'm curious to learn more: besides the finishing bath (is that just a basic sponge-off w/only water?), do you do anything for a body that could safely cross over to the Land of the Living if necessary (for instance, the lift-the-jugular step. Could my doctor do that in surgery if necessary or would he lose his job/right to practice medicine anymore?)?
We have to tear through a few muscles to get to the carotid and jugular. It blows my mind how surgeons can fix one thing without screwing up another in the process. I need tips from doctors, not the other way around
Any surgeons reading this must be beaming from ear to ear. :bigsmile: Not that they need an extra ego boost 0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »
OP mentioned earlier that she will talk gently to anyone who seems stuck "come on and work with me, (Mrs. Jones)."
My question was briefly touched on earlier but I'm curious to learn more: besides the finishing bath (is that just a basic sponge-off w/only water?), do you do anything for a body that could safely cross over to the Land of the Living if necessary (for instance, the lift-the-jugular step. Could my doctor do that in surgery if necessary or would he lose his job/right to practice medicine anymore?)?
I wash their hair and give them a sponge bath with soap and water.1
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