Ask a mortician
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This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
Did you keep track of the Richard III discovery at Leicester? As a Ricardian (though a Brooklyn-based one!), I was excited to read about and about the results of the various examinations.
It was hard to miss it. It's interesting and it's *in all probability* him but we can never be 100% sure. It's incredibly rare to be able to get and genetic data from a skeleton alone (the teeth are the best bet for isotopic analysis). I found Phillipa Langley's treatment of the excavation incredibly disrespectful but she is mental (IMO... as well as pretty much every actual archaeologist I know).
I'm a Viking Age specialist so Richard III is a bit modern for my liking haha.
Thanks for that interesting and informative perspective! I'm still going to believe it was Richard because, well, of course I am!
Time-wise, I go where my historical obsession lead me - unfortunately, I haven't run into a Viking obsession yet, but there's still time. I wander with the Brontes (obviously!), Diderot, and lots of people from the fifteenth century.
Forcing this digression back on point, sort of, the descriptions of embalming makes me think of examples from centuries past. One of them was for Philip the Handsome, son of the Emperor Maximilian of Hapsburg. He was married to Juana of Castile (known as Juana la Loca). During their time in Castile, after making himself a thorough pain, Philip died suddenly at the age of 28. The embalming method included the taking out of the internal organs (the heart was sent back to the Netherlands), and filling the body with perfumes and spices. Juana started on a journey from mid-country to Granada, where Philip had wanted to be buried. On three occasions, she had the coffin open. On one of these, the chronicler Pedro Martir (characterized by author Townsend Miller as "never averse to a good look at anything"), observed that the embalmers had majorly botched their job.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
I've only ever been to one black funeral. It had a mime. It was very artistic and well done though.1 -
I feel very fortunate to work at a "white" funeral home that takes care of the black community. Most funeral homes are still segregated. Their funerals are very lively, spiritual, and the music is fantastic. Don't get me started on the food
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Has anyone been asked to be buried in a Superhero outfit?
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I have it in my will that I'll be buried in a Superman t-shirt.3 -
If, for example, a husband and wife pass away together (a car accident let's say) is it possible for them to be cremated together? Or do you have to cremate them separately? Can the ashes be combined in one urn?
PS: I love this thread.
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Funny embalming story...
My grandfather was a cheap (thrifty) *kitten* his whole life, he also had a mustache from his 20's until the day he died the age of 92.
The funeral home shaved his mustache off in error, and my Aunt who was in charge of the arrangements, had a fit, so the funeral home gave us the embalming free of charge. We all thought that my grandfather would approve!
I am sure you have enough stories to fill several books!
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What normally happens when old married couples pass away days from eachother. Do the families normally put the first funeral on hold and have them together? How long can you wait to have it? (this one's a little personal right now is why it's so specific)0
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Double funerals are very common in those situations. If the body does well during embalming, we can wait 7- 10 days.1
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My mother passed away in December. She was cremated. The place we went to was also a mom & pop place. They were SO nice & helpful. I couldnt have asked for better service. They honored her wishes & even put her two dogs in the obituary lol! ❤ I just wanted to say thank you. Y'all are the last places that take care of our loved ones after they leave this world. It must be a heart wrenching job to see so many people sad.3
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Thank you so much. It means the world to me to know I'm making a difference in the lives of others ❤6
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My mother passed away in December. She was cremated. The place we went to was also a mom & pop place. They were SO nice & helpful. I couldnt have asked for better service. They honored her wishes & even put her two dogs in the obituary lol! ❤ I just wanted to say thank you. Y'all are the last places that take care of our loved ones after they leave this world. It must be a heart wrenching job to see so many people sad.LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Thank you so much. It means the world to me to know I'm making a difference in the lives of others ❤
Wow! You girls made me tear up on that one!2 -
This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
Did you keep track of the Richard III discovery at Leicester? As a Ricardian (though a Brooklyn-based one!), I was excited to read about and about the results of the various examinations.
It was hard to miss it. It's interesting and it's *in all probability* him but we can never be 100% sure. It's incredibly rare to be able to get and genetic data from a skeleton alone (the teeth are the best bet for isotopic analysis). I found Phillipa Langley's treatment of the excavation incredibly disrespectful but she is mental (IMO... as well as pretty much every actual archaeologist I know).
I'm a Viking Age specialist so Richard III is a bit modern for my liking haha.
Thanks for that interesting and informative perspective! I'm still going to believe it was Richard because, well, of course I am!
Time-wise, I go where my historical obsession lead me - unfortunately, I haven't run into a Viking obsession yet, but there's still time. I wander with the Brontes (obviously!), Diderot, and lots of people from the fifteenth century.
Forcing this digression back on point, sort of, the descriptions of embalming makes me think of examples from centuries past. One of them was for Philip the Handsome, son of the Emperor Maximilian of Hapsburg. He was married to Juana of Castile (known as Juana la Loca). During their time in Castile, after making himself a thorough pain, Philip died suddenly at the age of 28. The embalming method included the taking out of the internal organs (the heart was sent back to the Netherlands), and filling the body with perfumes and spices. Juana started on a journey from mid-country to Granada, where Philip had wanted to be buried. On three occasions, she had the coffin open. On one of these, the chronicler Pedro Martir (characterized by author Townsend Miller as "never averse to a good look at anything"), observed that the embalmers had majorly botched their job.
It's weird what they did with bodies in medieval times, from what I recall there was a belief that you actually needed your body for judgement day so cremation wasn't really a thing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor_cross
My husband’s grandparents died within a couple of days of each other. When his grandmother died his grandfather just gave up. The funeral was mostly arranged, and everyone was asking what his grandfather wanted but he wouldn't engage. Then he died in his sleep shortly after. They ended up delaying the funeral so they could have one together.
@LittleHearseDriver Is this common? I've heard of a few cases where one half of an elderly couple dies and the other does shortly after? I know this happened to my great-aunt and her husband. I don't know if it's common or just memorable.1 -
@LittleHearseDriver Is this common? I've heard of a few cases where one half of an elderly couple dies and the other does shortly after? I know this happened to my great-aunt and her husband. I don't know if it's common or just memorable.
It happened to our neighbors many years ago: the husband died, and his wife just let go and passed away not even a month later.
It happened with Annie Oakley and her husband, Frank Butler, who stopped eating after Annie died and followed her 18 days later:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annie_Oakley
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Is it a lot of make up applied to the face of the deceased? I have heard of "he was all redfaced when he died and then he looked so good at the funeral"...so I suppose it must be make up. Uh?0
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@LittleHearseDriver Is this common? I've heard of a few cases where one half of an elderly couple dies and the other does shortly after? I know this happened to my great-aunt and her husband. I don't know if it's common or just memorable.
It happened to our neighbors many years ago: the husband died, and his wife just let go and passed away not even a month later.
It happened with Annie Oakley and her husband, Frank Butler, who stopped eating after Annie died and followed her 18 days later:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annie_Oakley
That's really interesting, those look like cases where the surviving partner gave up and neglected themselves. It does show how profound grief can be, sepecially if you've been been with someone for years. The couple I'm aware of the surviving partner died withing 1-3 days almost literally of heartbreak, as they were generally well. I don't know if it's just human desire for narrative makes us link things.
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@MaybeLed It happens very often. At study came out recently about how it is possible to die from a broken heart.
Redness can be cleared up with embalming. Each embalmer has their own make-up technique. My motto is less is more. I try to make them look as natural as possible.Is it a lot of make up applied to the face of the deceased? I have heard of "he was all redfaced when he died and then he looked so good at the funeral"...so I suppose it must be make up. Uh?0 -
@LittleHearseDriver can you right my body to pop up in my casket to scare the *kitten* out of my friends?3
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Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver can you right my body to pop up in my casket to scare the *kitten* out of my friends?
Sorry, we don't carry jack-in-the-box caskets
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver can you right my body to pop up in my casket to scare the *kitten* out of my friends?
Sorry, we don't carry jack-in-the-box caskets
Though this made me think of my grandmother, who liked to talk about her own funeral plans, to which my mother once said: "You talk about it as if you're going to sit up in your coffin and thank everyone for coming."11 -
Any business will have issues with non payment. Let's say they pay by credit card, they dispute it and take it to court. Has this happened because of some people not being prepared for a death and having to spend a lot to get the internment done? I know it costs more on the spot, but I've heard people complain they only went along with the price because they were grieving and didn't think about actual cost.
Not trying to throw you under the bus, just how situations like this are handled.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver can you right my body to pop up in my casket to scare the *kitten* out of my friends?
Sorry, we don't carry jack-in-the-box caskets
This reminds me of a story I read a long time ago, about a young coroner's assistant who went to a scene where the deceased had died sitting in a chair and rigor mortis had set in. Supposedly someone had laid him out on the floor and weighed him down with something to keep him straight, and when the assistant moved whatever it was the corpse "sat up" and scared the bejeesus out of him.
Is that sort of thing actually possible, or was it just a story?
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We encourage families to save their money and go with the best option that suits their needs. For instance if they say "We don't have any money. " We suggest a direct cremation with no service which cost $1,100 versus and traditional funeral with a casket , vault, grave digging, visitation, and a service for $5,700. And even then we still get left high and dry a lot of times on cremations, but we would rather be lose 1,100 verses $5,700 anyday. My boss is very flexible. If someone says "we would like a direct cremation, but we only have $800, can you work with us?" He will gladly do that. I know my profession has the reputation for being money hungry, but I promise not all of us are that way.Any business will have issues with non payment. Let's say they pay by credit card, they dispute it and take it to court. Has this happened because of some people not being prepared for a death and having to spend a lot to get the internment done? I know it costs more on the spot, but I've heard people complain they only went along with the price because they were grieving and didn't think about actual cost.
Not trying to throw you under the bus, just how situations like this are handled.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver can you right my body to pop up in my casket to scare the *kitten* out of my friends?
Sorry, we don't carry jack-in-the-box caskets
This reminds me of a story I read a long time ago, about a young coroner's assistant who went to a scene where the deceased had died sitting in a chair and rigor mortis had set in. Supposedly someone had laid him out on the floor and weighed him down with something to keep him straight, and when the assistant moved whatever it was the corpse "sat up" and scared the bejeesus out of him.
Is that sort of thing actually possible, or was it just a story?
It's BS. Rigor mortis isn't a permanent condition, it can be broken when you move the muscles and joints. It's kind of like when you wake up in the morning and you're stiff from being in the same position for so long, but after a while you limber up once you get moving.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver can you right my body to pop up in my casket to scare the *kitten* out of my friends?
Sorry, we don't carry jack-in-the-box caskets
This reminds me of a story I read a long time ago, about a young coroner's assistant who went to a scene where the deceased had died sitting in a chair and rigor mortis had set in. Supposedly someone had laid him out on the floor and weighed him down with something to keep him straight, and when the assistant moved whatever it was the corpse "sat up" and scared the bejeesus out of him.
Is that sort of thing actually possible, or was it just a story?
It's BS. Rigor mortis isn't a permanent condition, it can be broken when you move the muscles and joints. It's kind of like when you wake up in the morning and you're stiff from being in the same position for so long, but after a while you limber up once you get moving.
Thanks! I kind of suspected that was the case, but it does make for an amusing story I guess! 0 -
Do you guys manufacture your own caskets? Or do you purchase them?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
We buy them.0
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Ever thought of manufacturing them or is that not cost effective to do?LittleHearseDriver wrote: »We buy them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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This thread is amazing, my aunt died recently and her funeral wasn't for 21 days! there was a viewing the day before the funeral and she looked ok. She had been embalmed but i really thought she wouldn't look as Good (for lack of a better word) . How would they have managed that? we are in the uk and the funeral home have a cold storage facility not at the actual funeral directors.1
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Can you buy your casket somewhere else and have it delivered to the mortuary or is that like bringing your own food and asking the chef to cook it? Would it put you on the wrong side of the funeral director? I'm really liking the eco options, woven casket and direct burial with no vault or embalming but I'm sure in the small town I live in they don't have those but I see you can buy them online. How does one go about finding out if those types of options are available where you live? I read on one of our local mortuary online sites that it is their policy that everyone has to be embalmed if there is a viewing. Why would they insist on that?1
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BellaCullen18981 wrote: »This thread is amazing, my aunt died recently and her funeral wasn't for 21 days! there was a viewing the day before the funeral and she looked ok. She had been embalmed but i really thought she wouldn't look as Good (for lack of a better word) . How would they have managed that? we are in the uk and the funeral home have a cold storage facility not at the actual funeral directors.
I can beat that! (This is not a competition, I'm sorry for your loss) My grandad died Christmas Eve and the funeral was 31st Jan because my dad lives in the USA and had to get home. We didn't have a viewing, but still that's a really long time, right? Uk again here, maybe we do things differently?
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