The Real Housewifes of MFP
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Don't mind me... just setting up shop.
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littlemissbgiff wrote: »
You sure do hate horses.1 -
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I am married for 28 years, have 3 kids, and worked a 60 hour work week. I was exhausted, my husband helped at home but everyday something was left undone due to time. I was stressed. I HATED it. So I quit. I love being home. Its great, i had time for the house, the kids, the PTA at the school AND myself...gym etc...I have supper on the table every night....etc...Not once has my husband belittled my role, even though he doesnt want me to go back to work. I'm SURE he loves not having to clean, etc...I love not having to be gone to a job all day. I am thankful he makes enough money that I dont need to help earn a living right now. I would go back to work tomorrow if I had to. Now my sons are grown and my daughter is 16. I had little to do and honestly got bored. My husbands parents are both disabled and now need full time care. Everyone in the family works but me. I take care of them now and am so grateful it worked out this way bc I see people who are struggling to hold it all together. I dont know how working mothers do it all. Its tough, hats off to yall. I dont think my more old fashioned approach has influenced my kids too much. They saw defined roles but they also saw compassion, appreciation, and compromise. As far as money goes...he makes it...I spend it, lol. My daughter is not like me. Shes driven and ambitious. She is focused on where she wants to be. She wants a career. She says maybe one day a family but her main goal is career. I'm cool with whatever makes her happy. I just want my kids to be successful at whatever life they choose.9
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Good morning fellow venters, it's still early so I haven't much to vent about. Yet....3
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I had an amazing career. I was given this talk by the CEO: we are growing, and you can have any job you want. If we don't have the position, you can make the position. If you need more education for the position you want, we'll pay for it.
Shortly thereafter, I quit my job and had a kid and went to business school. My son had challenges not served by his preschool, so I took him out of regular school to homeschool. Two more children followed.
You can see I'm an ambitious woman, yet found myself as a SAHM, and homeschooling at that.
I kept in contact with my old colleagues, and found out they had indeed, grown immensely. And no one was happy about it. As any entrepreneur knows, there is a sweet spot in the work culture between a successful small business and a large corporation. They had lost that sweet spot, as they had to change the culture to accommodate their increase in size.
At home, we are less stressed and more productive. The kids are excelling, my house is clean and organized, and I don't have to choose between breakfast or sex in the morning, because we have enough time for both.
So before you isht on the idea of SAHM, know that even (formerly) reluctant SAHMs see the benefits of it.
I spoke to a lot of women regarding this issue. All the SAHMs (with one exception), had no regrets, and All the working moms (with no exceptions), regretted they didn't spend more time with their kids.
So, don't knock it 'til you try it, but realize it isn't suitable for everyone. Every family is different. Do what works best for you and your family.
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frommyperspective wrote: »I had an amazing career. I was given this talk by the CEO: we are growing, and you can have any job you want. If we don't have the position, you can make the position. If you need more education for the position you want, we'll pay for it.
Shortly thereafter, I quit my job and had a kid and went to business school. My son had challenges not served by his preschool, so I took him out of regular school to homeschool. Two more children followed.
You can see I'm an ambitious woman, yet found myself as a SAHM, and homeschooling at that.
I kept in contact with my old colleagues, and found out they had indeed, grown immensely. And no one was happy about it. As any entrepreneur knows, there is a sweet spot in the work culture between a successful small business and a large corporation. They had lost that sweet spot, as they had to change the culture to accommodate their increase in size.
At home, we are less stressed and more productive. The kids are excelling, my house is clean and organized, and I don't have to choose between breakfast or sex in the morning, because we have enough time for both.
So before you isht on the idea of SAHM, know that even (formerly) reluctant SAHMs see the benefits of it.
I spoke to a lot of women regarding this issue. All the SAHMs (with one exception), had no regrets, and All the working moms (with no exceptions), regretted they didn't spend more time with their kids.
So, don't knock it 'til you try it, but realize it isn't suitable for everyone. Every family is different. Do what works best for you and your family.
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Strong first post.
Mad Re5pext1 -
You can have the best of both worlds by reinstating multigenerational households. I've always worked with the exception of a 1.5yr stint after moving. My kids were 2 1/2. It was the most exhausting, hardest job I've ever had. I was super excited to get back into the workforce so I could catch a break. That being said, I'm also supremely grateful I had that time with them and I think they loved it too. Around this same time period, we moved my widowed MIL in with us. She did the cooking, laundry, homework help, got the kids off to school in the mornings. We hired a maid to clean, and my husband and I brought home the money.
I loved the sentiments of the gentleman who recognized the sacrifices his wife made to be a SAHM. My ex-boss was the same way. I'll never forget the day he was talking about her and everything she gave up to support his career and take care of the kids. He truly recognized it as a sacrifice. Not many people do.
I have too many hangups to ever allow myself to be financially dependent on someone. As a young adult, I saw the repercussions when my father had an affair and divorced my mother who had spent her life as a SAHM. Even though she had a college degree, she had no experience and no way to support herself. I never want to be put in that position. Or ever feel like I have to stay in an unhappy or potentially dangerous situation because I couldn't support myself or my children on my own.2 -
And to bring some lightness to the conversation, here's our Real Housewives of MFP family photo.
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Rather your a stay at home mom like me or a woman who does it all we all need to vent a little to decompress , so purge it here even if your not any of the above maybe you would like to add some advice please do
I've been a SAHP for almost 17 years. I homeschool my dd. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I don't have complaints about it except I hate washing dishes.
My dd is almost 17. What am I going to do when she goes off in the world? I don't really have a plan. I feel kind of useless thinking about that. If someone here has transitioned from being out of the workplace for decades while they cared for their children or house to doing something else I'd love to hear something from them. Or if you plan to be a housespouse for life how do you make that work for you?
I left my work 17 yrs ago after my first born I just felt and still do that being a mom is a full time job and the position must be filled so I'll be a stay at home mom until they are gone I could go back to work but the money is not needed but keeping an eye on these kids priority number one for me
I know you replied to my post many pages ago but I just got back to reading all of this.
Thanks for your reply. I don't know other long term SAHP in my area. Most go back to work when their youngest kids go to school. I don't want to go back to what I was doing 17 years ago. I probably could not.
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mom23mangos wrote: »And to bring some lightness to the conversation, here's our Real Housewives of MFP family photo.
this photo should be titled:
Hey! Look! *kittens*0 -
I just recently moved to London for work reasons. I am rarely at home, and someone has to clean. What can you advise?0
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