I have a broken heart...

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  • swagoner94
    swagoner94 Posts: 220 Member
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    No you're not a psycho! Love makes everyone crazy when you're betrayed by someone you loved. Why do you think there is so much literature, art, and music devoted to it? THIS TOO SHALL PASS ... take the motivation and make it work for you. Work out to please yourself, forget about her. He's gone, you just want him to see you in a year an say damn I wish I'd been good to her... eat it buddy! . :bigsmile: Most guys are just too single mined & immature when it comes to women at that age, it's a wonder some even survive...! You are learning form your relationships now take the good throw away the bad. Don't let this ruin you for the next guy just be more diligent and reasonably cautious with the next one. In the end you will have to trust someone again... Just remember when someone loves you, they love all of you. " Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". You look gorgeous and very sweet. I know you'll find someone who appreciate you for you. :smile:

    I'm not moving on just like that from this guy because of his past. He hasn't wronged me in such a great measure that I would leave him while with me. My issue is with being in shock, with the unexpected.. i didn't expect the guy I love to have been such a man slut.... and dealing with forgiving him for his past completely. I hate his past. It makes me seriously hate myself sometimes. That's my problem. thank you though. this was still nice to read :)
  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
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    This isn't a joke.

    I don't need any discouraging comments. This is predominantly a medium I'm utilizing for the purpose of venting.

    I'm a woman of faith (just lost 85% of you). I have cherished the sanctity of marriage all my life (a whopping 18, almost 19 years of life), I hardly even talked to boys! Rarely even hugged then. Certainly never even kissed one. I know in our day and age this is super rare. But growing up in my Christian home and church, I knew men personally who held these same standards. I wanted to give ALL both emotionally and physically to ONE individual ever! I knew that maybe it'd be hard to find a guy who shared these convictions or who remained obedient to God's Word (now i lost another 10%)... Like I said, I know guys who do. I prayed for my future spouse to remain pure... but I knew that even if he wasn't, I'd forgive him (because it is my belief that God intended for all that physical stuff, and your body, to belong to your future spouse...)

    Well, here I am. First boyfriend ever. Love him to death. He has done every darn dirty thing a person could possibly do!!! I've had such a hard time moving on. My heart is broken! When I begin moving on, I find out some other dirty thing he has done, or SOMETHING! My heart is constantly breaking and today was the most painful day. I'm venting here because IT HAS RELEVANCY TO FITNESS. His ex gf.... well her body is nicer than mine. I shouldn't care, but it's taken me over. I'm obsessed with looking better than her. Her face... in my opinion... is not cute.... sorry. But guys are physical. He has seen and fooled around with this girls body!!!! I'M SO DISCONTENT! I'm soooo broken! I know this sounds ridiculous! again, i'm just venting. I need to look better than her :'( It hurts soo bad :(:(:(

    :cry:

    ok. bye. please don't be mean to me. i can't take that right now. if you think i'm psycho... just think i'm psycho and don't vocalize it. k bye.

    You didn't lose me with this. I fully understand your faith. In this respect at least it does not sound much different from mine.

    It's ok to be sad now. You're grieving. Try not to wallow in it, but don't let it freak you out either. It's normal that there will be reminders and bad days for a while.

    I don't think there's anything I cant tell you that will make you feel better right now. But I think it's important for you to know that it will get better. This kind of pain fades. This did not break you. You're just hurt and need time to heal.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    yes it is ... I mean it goes all the way back to Biblical times. Eve tried to deceive the Lord along with Adam by eating the fruit from the Tree of Life. Even at our beginnings, we as humans were not even trustworthy to God. How can we expect to be trustworthy to each other 100% of the time?? I did not say that there were not people I trusted in my life, but I am sure even the closest people in my circle have deceived me if only just once and only for something small.

    They actually ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, not the Tree of Life. And I do not prescribe to your religious beliefs, so I don't feel the need to justify any lack of trustworthiness of those around me.
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    whatever bro bro. The tree of Knowledge then. It seems as though you know more about my religion than I do being an unsubscriber and everything
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    Regardless of the religion though. People cant be trusted. plain and simple. it doesn't matter how you want to cut that pie. It still has lots of substance and calories to it no matter what its form. so stop instigating and trying to cause drama
  • Gooddmannn
    Gooddmannn Posts: 6
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    Dont compare to others, compete with yourself, and be patient for someone who deserves your love,
    Talking I Love you is Cheap, you have to earn it with action
  • swagoner94
    swagoner94 Posts: 220 Member
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    yes it is ... I mean it goes all the way back to Biblical times. Eve tried to deceive the Lord along with Adam by eating the fruit from the Tree of Life. Even at our beginnings, we as humans were not even trustworthy to God. How can we expect to be trustworthy to each other 100% of the time?? I did not say that there were not people I trusted in my life, but I am sure even the closest people in my circle have deceived me if only just once and only for something small.

    They actually ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, not the Tree of Life. And I do not prescribe to your religious beliefs, so I don't feel the need to justify any lack of trustworthiness of those around me.

    I really didn't intend for this post to be so centered around faith...
    Granted, my life revolves around my faith, but for the record... The happiest, most firm and loving marriages I've come to see and testify of, are ones that involve God as the foundation. Truth: nobody can be fully trusted... I can't even always trust myself. But for those who do believe in God - not saying you need to or want to or by any means are going to but for those who do - God is the most trustworthy person... the only trustworthy one. So to rely on him completely makes for pretty solid relationships. Just saying! By all means, go about your life. I'm not telling you what to do, or what you should believe... just sharing an observation,
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
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    This isn't a joke.I don't need any discouraging comments. This is predominantly a medium I'm utilizing for the purpose of venting.
    I'm a woman of faith (just lost 85% of you). I have cherished the sanctity of marriage all my life (a whopping 18, almost 19 years of life), I hardly even talked to boys! Rarely even hugged then. Certainly never even kissed one. I know in our day and age this is super rare. But growing up in my Christian home and church, I knew men personally who held these same standards. I wanted to give ALL both emotionally and physically to ONE individual ever! I knew that maybe it'd be hard to find a guy who shared these convictions or who remained obedient to God's Word (now i lost another 10%)... Like I said, I know guys who do. I prayed for my future spouse to remain pure... but I knew that even if he wasn't, I'd forgive him (because it is my belief that God intended for all that physical stuff, and your body, to belong to your future spouse...)

    By the age of 19 I'd decided that saving myself for marriage, tolerating my traditional betrothed's ways just wasn't my cup of tea. He was 17 years my senior of a heritage, where we the womenfolk are expected to be pure to the marital beds and our husbands-to-be could finish the world for all they care because of their stations and ours, to be considered compatible. At age 20 I was in New York City to start the life I'd always wanted ~ a life about me, for me and not him and not the binds of my natural heritage perceived to be "righted" through him and his. Fast forward a gentleman of that seaboard crossed my path and I'd lost all decorum and stepped over the line (before I'd turned 21 - 23 before I'd turned 24), of what you and I both know we're nurtured to never allow any man, but for the husband. Long story short, we got engaged, fast forward I'd decided to walk out of that relationship, saving him and me from what i'd determined was a likely mistake.

    Now as a pure virgin, there are insurmountable reasons of only that which is good that will be perceived of you BUT I will throw cautionary beacons to a growing young woman like you and as a woman of faith, that one can never place her "no strike zone" on a pedestal expecting some reverence from all men. The quality of purity itself isn't at an even keel, where any man's curiosity, most especially when raised restricted will in effect be susceptible to this very scenario you've described, which is your life's experience specific case.

    As a young woman of faith, whose regard is still very much a romanticised ideal of pure girl to pure boy together in marriage, it just doesn't work out that way, for everyone, especially now. Some guys just do not and can not. And as a woman you need to conceptualise that men aren't like us. We're internal, so when there's a need you squeeze. With them depending, the urges if already awakened to certain levels of sexual immersion, they will need to relieve their arduous needs and weirdly enough, being that the very facet of you, you keep pure is that, is not the least bit about love, but pleasurable release of a kind, not wholly, not of the sort shared between a man and his woman in love, which is what you're seeking to achieve with him, in time.
    Well, here I am. First boyfriend ever. Love him to death. He has done every darn dirty thing a person could possibly do!!! I've had such a hard time moving on. My heart is broken! When I begin moving on, I find out some other dirty thing he has done, or SOMETHING! My heart is constantly breaking and today was the most painful day. I'm venting here because IT HAS RELEVANCY TO FITNESS. His ex gf.... well her body is nicer than mine. I shouldn't care, but it's taken me over. I'm obsessed with looking better than her. Her face... in my opinion... is not cute.... sorry. But guys are physical. He has seen and fooled around with this girls body!!!! I'M SO DISCONTENT! I'm soooo broken! I know this sounds ridiculous! again, i'm just venting. I need to look better than her :'( It hurts soo bad :(:(:(

    Being in love with a man of the world as a woman of faith is a road that'll shatter the very fiber of what defined you, as a believer. it will challenge your substance right throughout, only that if you view it from the vantage point of the believer that you are, he and you together are going to be alright, where what some of the ladies have already cautioned you is moot ~ in relationships we the women affect "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" of any and all relationships depending on how much we're willing to invest of ourselves and how far we'll trudge. You love him, THEN focus on only that ~ Loving him completely, without restraint and forgive, for whether you like it or not, after years of praying for your the one, he is it; Character marred, flawed and all, he is Your Heart; You denying him, is a denial of you, where you're countermanding your Equal Yoke ~ Keep the faith and believe.

    ETA: The ex was axed. Don't waste your time over her and his fly-by-nights. Focus on the 2 of you!
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    Swagoner...you are completely fine. This whole post was doing perfectly fine until this chucklehead over here came in spittin all this booty chatter around the room
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Swagoner...you are completely fine. This whole post was doing perfectly fine until this chucklehead over here came in spittin all this booty chatter around the room

    Did I upset you?
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    not really....its was more like nails down a chalkboard listening to your illogical rhetoric
  • swagoner94
    swagoner94 Posts: 220 Member
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    ETA: The ex was axed. Don't waste your time over her and his fly-by-nights. Focus on the 2 of you!
    [/quote]

    I wish it was a fly by night.... it was a 10 month intimate relationship he had (mixed with other fly by nights)... there is literally NOTHING he hasn't already done :(
    I waited patiently, excited to do something new, untarnished, in the confines of marriage, the way God intended it.. I waited, and for what???? He's done EVERYTHING...
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Please quote where I used any illogical rhetoric.
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    This is disgustingly cynical.
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    More like it was disgustingly true...religion set aside
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    This is disgustingly cynical.

    Now, tell me how that was illogical, or heck, even rhetoric. I think you may be confused as to what the definition of rhetoric is.
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    Inconceivable
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    ....no.
  • Addis_Daddy12
    Addis_Daddy12 Posts: 548 Member
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    .
  • kaned_ferret
    kaned_ferret Posts: 618 Member
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    What age would you guys say you can start to trust men a little more? I feel like it's impossible right now.

    You can't.
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