I have a broken heart...

whierd

...on a lighter note...

i sing! ..shyly and unconfidently like everything else in my life but still. why not!

http://www.youtube.com/user/alicia9loves4vampire

Pretty voice. And the gospel songs remind me of my ex.

kaned_ferret

Oh I will absolutely agree with that. Movies like to portray that love can overcome all, when in reality it cannot. People are complicated and perceive things different ways. My issue really is with the idea that men cannot be trusted, which I take as a bit of a slight. Perhaps you have had some unfortunate experiences with the men in your life, but I assure you that not all men are untrustworthy by nature.

You're right. People are untrustworthy by nature (not just men), though I'm always optimistic to be proven wrong (and cynical enough to not be surprised when I'm not ). As a species we are simply too self-involved.

Don't you find that the cynicism makes you withhold a good part of your trust for another person because of the fear of being disappointed? I generally don't trust many people, but the people who do have it have it completely.

Yes, entirely. I made the mistake of giving my everything one too may times. And from an age perspective, sorry to say the last one that did me over was 40. So don't use age as a safety net ladies, it might be a guide to maturity but it's a loose one and clearly you can get s**t on from a great height at any time :ohwell:

whierd

Oh I will absolutely agree with that. Movies like to portray that love can overcome all, when in reality it cannot. People are complicated and perceive things different ways. My issue really is with the idea that men cannot be trusted, which I take as a bit of a slight. Perhaps you have had some unfortunate experiences with the men in your life, but I assure you that not all men are untrustworthy by nature.

You're right. People are untrustworthy by nature (not just men), though I'm always optimistic to be proven wrong (and cynical enough to not be surprised when I'm not ). As a species we are simply too self-involved.

Don't you find that the cynicism makes you withhold a good part of your trust for another person because of the fear of being disappointed? I generally don't trust many people, but the people who do have it have it completely.

Yes, entirely. I made the mistake of giving my everything one too may times. And from an age perspective, sorry to say the last one that did me over was 40. So don't use age as a safety net ladies, it might be a guide to maturity but it's a loose one and clearly you can get s**t on from a great height at any time :ohwell:

Choose better quality guys.

swagoner94

you should probably get you a condenser mic with a pop guard to bring your voice out a little more

ahaha didn't expect people would actually go look, but yes i agree. webcams aren't the most efficient. nor are 58435830485 year old out of tune pianos

Addis_Daddy12

Now that my friend was some true cynicism

Addis_Daddy12

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

swagoner94

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

that's awesome!

whierd

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

Oh this I have to hear.

Addis_Daddy12

hedgiie

i married a lady who is similar to you. and let me tell you that i feel lucky, i'm very thankful that i found her. it seems that you found a wrong guy, it's not until he realize that he found a jewel.

it's hard to give advise but i can tell that your a catch for a lot of good guys like me.

Addis_Daddy12

Its a show about beer and food....mostly beer. I brew my own beer at home and have a brewery set up in my garage.

whierd

I was expecting political rants. I'm pleasantly surprised it is about beer. That is awesome.

swagoner94

i married a lady who is similar to you. and let me tell you that i feel lucky, i'm very thankful that i found her. it seems that you found a wrong guy, it's not until he realize that he found a jewel.

it's hard to give advise but i can tell that your a catch for a lot of good guys like me.

that's so sweet! glad you found such a jewel for yourself. and thank you I'm kinda realizing i got some issues now... he is so good to me... he tells me i'm this "jewel" and all. Honestly, he hasn't really wronged me presently. it's me. hating his past. that's about it.

Addis_Daddy12

yeah. Its my radio show to do with what I want. So I can promote pretty much anything that I would like. If I was to find a talent and play their music say as intro or outro music or commercial break plug music, then I have free range to do that

michellemybelll

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

oh dear god i have visions of a rush-limbaugh-esque train wreck.

whierd

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

oh dear god i have visions of a rush-limbaugh-esque train wreck.

Honestly I was expecting something more Michael Savage-esque. :laugh:

michellemybelll

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

oh dear god i have visions of a rush-limbaugh-esque train wreck.

Honestly I was expecting something more Michael Savage-esque. :laugh:

too bad it couldn't be more dan savage-y 'eh?

GuybrushThreepw00d

I just had to reply because I had a similar situation. I was a virgin when I got married but my husband was a slut prior to us getting together. He had very few actual relationships but lots of physical relationships. He stayed with a girl just long enough to get her to sleep with him then he found a way out.

The first thing I had to do was resolve that I was not going to let his past behaviors change the image I had of the man he is.
The second thing I had to do was stop comparing myself to the other girls.

I reminded myself that while he may have slept with lots of other women, he dropped them shortly thereafter. With me, he respected my beliefs and loved me enough to be celibate through three years of dating.

He cooked for me, would take me on creative dates to the playground to swing when he was broke, would bring me soup and ice cream when I was sick....things he would have never done for those other girls.
He CHOSE me! Even if I couldn't fully understand it, he saw me as the love of his life and he forgot those other girls. Then after we were married and began having a sexual relationship, I then struggled with worrying that he wasn't happy with me, he thought so and so was better in bed, he wished I would do that thing so and so would do. But I realized that was all in my head.
He loves me and cherishes me and loved the relationship (physical and otherwise) that we have built together.

I read this and;
THREE YEARS!!!!

wow.

Addis_Daddy12

wow the haters are running deep tonight aren't they? Rush is an idiot....so is Michael Savage...I am not that politically motivated actually. I just don't think people can necessarily be trusted in general

whierd

Of course I was gonna go and listen. I host my own talk radio show. I listen to everything

oh dear god i have visions of a rush-limbaugh-esque train wreck.

Honestly I was expecting something more Michael Savage-esque. :laugh:

too bad it couldn't be more dan savage-y 'eh?

That would have been awesome!!!!

whierd

wow the haters are running deep tonight aren't they? Rush is an idiot....so is Michael Savage...I am not that politically motivated actually. I just don't think people can necessarily be trusted in general

You have very thin skin. No one has hated on you yet. I even said the beer show was cool.

Addis_Daddy12

well we didn't necessarily get off on the right foot....I was more directing it towards the comment about Rush Limbaughish rants after it was established pretty much that it was a beer show

dessertlover27

Should I start doing this?

emlott88

It sounds like this is a major deal breaker for you. I know that right now, you see it as not wanting to waste time, that you want to find your one true love.

Honestly, I understand. I think most women understand. At 18 I really thought the boy I met was 'the one'. Well since that 'one', I dated many, many other men. And now, at 25, I truly am married to 'the one', who I adore with all of my heart and soul.

We are not religious, I did not wait for my husband. He did not wait for me. That doesn't mean that this doesn't come up sometimes (and actually, I'm not religious but sometimes my husband's past DOES hurt and DOES make me insecure, or angry!) but I'm not going to have us punish each other for experiencing life and having fun while we were young.

Do you love your boyfriend? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Can you truly forgive him? Now, is the true problem that you are struggling with sexuality? (No, this is NOT weird). There is a big difference between having sex, and making love. Are you worried that he was 'making love' rather than having sex? Are you more jealous of the intimacy that he has shared with someone else, rather than the actual act? Sometimes that's what I get more upset about, so I understand.

Anyway, have a think about what is important to you. As you get older, it will become more and more difficult to find someone 'pure' - but in the same instance, it will also become more difficult for men to find someone pure to. Your one is out there. If you can't handle this, then you need to get back out there and searching for your one.

uhhhh the "making love" vs, "having sex" comment... NAILED IT. yes. that's a huge part of what hurts me. and I know that I'm young, but I believe he is my "one"... and I'm so upset that I'm potentially ruining it, because i can't let this go! this has been going on for MONTHS. it haunts me every day. I so bad want to let it go completely. I do love him. I do want to spend forever with him. but as for the forgiveness part... i feel like that's something i don't do one time and it covers forever... it is something i have to constantly be doing. constantly forgiving him for it. sometimes i do... sometimes i don't....

Oh girl, that is normal! Maybe from a Christian sense it may be more difficult to reconcile forgiveness periodically versus forgiveness completely, but it's normal to feel hurt and have to forgive over and over again. Eventually, once you are married and with him, you will forget about it. Sure, it might hit you briefly, and cause a little anguish, but because you'll be sharing in those 'activities' with him, it won't hurt as much anymore. Because you're the one that he wanted forever!

Now, it's huge that he even told you! It's a big deal. It means he is honest. If he's still with you and accepting of the fact that you guys aren't even hugging/kissing etc. then that means he cares about you a huge deal. It's easy to hold out as a virgin- it's a whole lot more difficult to hold out when you know what it's all about and how good it is!

Have you talked about marriage? Are you headed on the same path in that direction? I was sick of wasting my time with men, so I put it on the table with my now-husband on the second date. (Yeah guys - crazy alert here!). He understood. I just had been with someone for 4 years who turned out never wanted to get married! So I told him that wasn't what I was like, and that I wanted to be married 'at some point in the future'. Funnily enough, that point in the future was 10 months later (Yup, we were crazy, but it worked!)

lydiamacklin

Girl....I know you are hurting. However, be glad you found out now what a jerk he is instead of 20 years from now. God did for you what you could not do for yourself, in time you will be thankful. We are so much more than our outward appearance. Remember, man looks at the outside, God looks at your heart. Remember, He promises us a future and hope. Hold your head high and spit in their eye by being happy. Time and space heals all kinds of wounds. You probably won't remember his name a year from now. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.



Lydia

Addis_Daddy12

How we all of a sudden go back to being so serious from having cool gif wars and talking trash?

ron2e

Why don't we turn this into a musical thread. The girl done sing well

Addis_Daddy12

Ok I will go and get my Fender and the Crate amp and we will just turn on the distortion pedal and drown all this seriousness out

ron2e

Picking up my Strat and Hot Rod amp as we speak............................

umieto

Picking up my Strat and Hot Rod amp as we speak............................