For those of you who aren't SUPER FIT-yep they are judging us.
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FindingAwesome wrote: »The irony of this post is strong.
(Self proclaimed) non super fit person is judging super fit people as being judgemental.
Even though, in reality, it was an interpersonal disagreement between gym goers.
I'm pretty fit. I'm afraid (legit) of going to the gym because I'll be judged/ noticed because I'm fit. And yet I'm new. There's so much I don't know, so my fear is that I'll be expected to know it all, and will break some code that 'as a fit person' I'd be expected to know.
I can relate to this, actually. I have a gym membership and I'm there several times a week to run on the track or attend a class, but I find the GYM part of the gym totally intimidating. I think it goes with what @kimcalica said: everyone's insecure about something.0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Why would someone make this up?
Anyway, the vibe I got from the OP is one seeking empathy and support. Not everyone is looking to lie on the internet.
People make up lots of trash for attention, such as having cancer. It's not uncommon, unfortunately.
The story may not have been made up, but it may face been exaggerated by OPs emotions and her own insecurities.4 -
I've never seen that.... The most "muscle bound gym rats" have often been the kindest people I've met. Offering the occasional advice if I ask, but more generally just "the nod" even though my weights are "low". Simple moments that have made my day. This happened when I was just getting started with at least 20lbs to lose and now.
I mean... Would you never go to starbucks again if a patron yelled that your choice of coffee was dumb? There's aholes everywhere.2 -
I've never seen that.... The most "muscle bound gym rats" have often been the kindest people I've met. Offering the occasional advice if I ask, but more generally just "the nod" even though my weights are "low". Simple moments that have made my day. This happened when I was just getting started with at least 20lbs to lose and now.
I mean... Would you never go to starbucks again if a patron yelled that your choice of coffee was dumb? There's aholes everywhere.
As a runner, I love "the nod." I don't think much about "I'm a better runner than this guy" or "he's a better runner than me" or "ugh, that form!" I just see someone else out there running, and I give him/her "the nod" of respect, and I usually get it in return. Because even (or especially) when I see someone who's obviously a beginner, obviously struggling, I think they're awesome. Because it's Friday, it's noon, and it's hot and humid out here, and it kind of sucks. Most of our colleagues and friends are probably taking a long Friday lunch, or goofing off at their desks, but you and me, we're out here pushing ourselves. We freaking rock.12 -
JeepHair77 wrote: »I've never seen that.... The most "muscle bound gym rats" have often been the kindest people I've met. Offering the occasional advice if I ask, but more generally just "the nod" even though my weights are "low". Simple moments that have made my day. This happened when I was just getting started with at least 20lbs to lose and now.
I mean... Would you never go to starbucks again if a patron yelled that your choice of coffee was dumb? There's aholes everywhere.
As a runner, I love "the nod." I don't think much about "I'm a better runner than this guy" or "he's a better runner than me" or "ugh, that form!" I just see someone else out there running, and I give him/her "the nod" of respect, and I usually get it in return. Because even (or especially) when I see someone who's obviously a beginner, obviously struggling, I think they're awesome. Because it's Friday, it's noon, and it's hot and humid out here, and it kind of sucks. Most of our colleagues and friends are probably taking a long Friday lunch, or goofing off at their desks, but you and me, we're out here pushing ourselves. We freaking rock.
Indeed Jeep, indeed we do.
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FindingAwesome wrote: »The irony of this post is strong.
(Self proclaimed) non super fit person is judging super fit people as being judgemental.
Even though, in reality, it was an interpersonal disagreement between gym goers.
I'm pretty fit. I'm afraid (legit) of going to the gym because I'll be judged/ noticed because I'm fit. And yet I'm new. There's so much I don't know, so my fear is that I'll be expected to know it all, and will break some code that 'as a fit person' I'd be expected to know.
Totally relate to this. I was overweight/obese for 20 years (my entire adult life) until I lost 80# last year. After losing the weight, I started going to the gym in October. Prior to starting last fall, the longest I'd ever gone to the gym was 3 months...19 years ago, lol. It had been 5 years since I even set foot in a gym.
I *looked* fit-ish...but was completely clueless. So I watched YouTube videos, videos on Bodybuilding.com, and bought Arnold Schwarzenegger's New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding. I got some lightweight dumbbells at home & started practicing in my bathroom in front of the mirror. I started on machines in the gym until I slowly worked my way over to the free weights area.
It's been almost 6 months now & I genuinely consider this a huge accomplishment, lol. The struggle (& anxiety) is real. And I still feel like a newbie. But I'm doing much better. I hope you find yourself wandering into the free weights section soon, too.
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StealthHealth wrote: »My mistake.. sorry: I thought they were the same person (I'd previously searched LiveLoveFitFab's posts and must have got confused because she contributed (rather than started) the "SuperFitChick" thread.
well, i hope they're not, personally. i was working on a theory/hope that each of them is the bad guy in the other one's drama and we'd get to see them meet up.9 -
canadianlbs wrote: »StealthHealth wrote: »My mistake.. sorry: I thought they were the same person (I'd previously searched LiveLoveFitFab's posts and must have got confused because she contributed (rather than started) the "SuperFitChick" thread.
well, i hope they're not, personally. i was working on a theory/hope that each of them is the bad guy in the other one's drama and we'd get to see them meet up.
awesome idea...1 -
StealthHealth wrote: »I've never been to a gym but I thought the reason for going was to get fit, not because you're already super fit.
I'd ignore that bad experience and carry on with the program.
Unfit > go to gym > become fit > continue at gym > become super fit > goal achieved > stop going to the gym > become unfit
=
Fat > diet > lose some weight > continue to diet > become normal weight > goal achieved > go back to eating the way you did before diet > become fat
No. In both cases I would expect that having achieved the goal, you'd maintain the new lifestyle so as not to go back to a bad state. But this certainly does not need to include negative judging towards those who haven't progressed so far on their journey.0 -
JerSchmare wrote: »Sounds like I wasted my time writing a thoughtful post. I'll have to do less of that in the future.
Hahaha. You're doing "it" here, right now. Do you get that?0 -
But that is not consistent with what you said here (emphasis mine)...I've never been to a gym but I thought the reason for going was to get fit, not because you're already super fit.
I'd ignore that bad experience and carry on with the program.
If the superfit, achieved that state by going to the gym, then to maintain that they must continue. The statement above seems to me to indicate that you were saying you go to a gym to get fit but once fit you're not expecting people to go to the gym.But this certainly does not need to include negative judging towards those who haven't progressed so far on their journey.
Or people who have?
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I'm not going to bother weighing in on who was rude and who wasn't because I think that's been pretty well covered, but I do want to say this whole confrontation could have been avoided with a few warm-up sets. As another lifter over 40, there is no way I would have added weights to the bar for my very first set. That coupled with the bar being too high is probably what made the OP look like a beginner. Or am I the only one who needs to check that all the parts are moving correctly before proceeding with my working sets?7
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Aside from the part about your autistic child, it's actually a pretty funny incident. The guy was off his rocker. Honestly, I don't think we can afford to let strangers' stupidity ruin our day. What they are "thinking" or even saying to each other doesn't matter one whit. You just keep doing your thing!
Agreed! Those two jerks should be embarrassed, not you. Like that woman in the locker room at the gym who napped a photo of the less for woman, posted it to Insta, mocking her appearance. The world came down on her and she was fired from her modeling/fitness gigs.
Those two pathetic excuses for humans are not worth your time or anxiety. If they work out in a public gym, they get to deal with the public. If they don't like it, they can leave.
Karma will get them in the end.0 -
LiveLoveFitFab wrote: »
I know that I shouldn't have taken so much time off and gotten so out of shape, that is my fault totally. But now I'm not just afraid that I will screw something up and make myself look bad, I'm afraid that if I do I will be treated the exact same way I was today.
To further complicate my head space, I was almost killed by a big muscular roid rager guy who was bald about 12 years ago when I didn't agree with him so he threw me into a wall five or six times. So I was legitimately frightened and it gave me flash backs to something I thought I was over completely.
I'd really like it if you'd be less hard on yourself!
it doesn't matter what shape you're in or how you got there. Those "people" had no right to treat you like that. And as upset as you were, it almost sounds like you're defending them a little.
And most people, including those trained to except to do and see traumatic things, are triggered. There's nothing wrong with you for having a flashback to a horrifying g and traumatic experience. There's no statute of limitations on reliving things like that. You can't predict when they'll happen or what might make them come up. All you can do is work with a therapist to have the tools to respond when things do sneak up on you.
You do you. Go back to your gym. It's yours as much as it is theirs. Don't make their problem yours--you don't own that BS. It's all them. Inform the management of the past behavior and any future issues.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt0 -
southernoregongrape wrote: »That is too sad. I hope you can find a better place to work out. We go to the YMCA because they are always super supportive and there are many people our age who are no more fit than we are.
Best wishes to you (hugs) and (bravos) for working out.
I also left a gym full of douche bags to join the YMCA. I'm regularly in the weight room using the rack and I also have an extra 15lbs on my because I recently had a baby. No one has ever been anything but nice and supportive.
Maybe its time you change gyms?0 -
People who are insecure will always try to belittle others. Unfortunately, I find that happens EVERYWHERE! It really sucks because I'm like you, I totally cheer on others, want them to succeed and only offer help in a kind, non condescending way. Those people that behave the way those two did have problems, demons they are fighting. Just remember it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their issues. Just be the strong confident mom you are.
Also, my son is on the spectrum so I totally get not wanting to take your son there with that going on. Hopefully management can come up with a solution. 1 -
kristikitter wrote: »Sounds like you were there during A55h0le day, OP!
When I was a regular gym goer (MANY MOONS AGO), I had a case of one guy watching me do that... leg press plate thing... whatever it's called. I was like, um, you are practically looking into my crotch, if you wanted to be a gynecologist the university is that way.
Every other time was OK though.
Hahah @ the gynecologist comment. So funny.0
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