I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...
Replies
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Perhaps madam would prefer this cake instead: http://www.instructables.com/id/watermelon-cake/
*slurp*
TBH I'd just eat the real cake. It's only once a year. (Well, apart from Christmas. And other birthdays. And mooncake festival if you are so inclined. :laugh: )0 -
she doesnt want to eat the cake, people!!! jeesh, you guys sound like the one buying the cake with your "one small piece wont hurt you" comments.
my advice would just be tell her you will have some later, and have a plate of something healthy in your hands....
or just tell her no, thank you!0 -
Well…I had no idea this would be such a ‘topic’ of discussion. I think I began to feel sorry for the poor birthday cake! LOL!!
Thanks to those that simply answered my question, however I found (as I guess many of you did) the discussion engaging…so many opinions! I thought sarcastic comments like ‘You sound like such a fun person’ were hurtful and unnecessary and some of the other comments I totally agree with too!. For example:: “It's mind-boggling to me that not wanting to eat a specific food is considered to be an ED.” Good idea of just telling my sis-in-law what I would want. Sure seems logical, but I would feel a little ‘weird’ doing just that – love her, but I’m not that close with her. Thanks for all the advice though (and the b-day wishes)
There was sure some ‘debate’ over if my wanting to not have the cake was ED related. Well, I believe it is not. I have NEVER enjoyed typical ‘Safeway-type’ cakes…the icing is way too sweet and leaves an ‘oily’ taste in ones mouth and the cake part is too sweet as well – Not enjoyable for my culinary tastes! If however, I was presented with a homemade cake/dessert or a cake from a ‘real’ bakery (yes…even if it was made with sugar and butter, etc.) I would have a piece It would most likely be small and I probably would not finish it.. (dessert really isn’t ‘my thing’ and yes, I’m still working through my ED too). However, the fact that I would consider having it at all would be considered light years from where my head was at last year.
So, as the drama unfolds…I’m sure you would love to hear that there was a huge fight and that icing, cake and ice cream was flung from one room to the other…sorry, it just didn’t happen!
So, the cake came – and yes, it came from a grocery store –.I just said to myself, ‘just be gracious and appreciative – to which I felt I was. I told her how beautiful the cake looked and how generous she was, etc., I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the garbage.
Done.
Welcome back OP. I didn't think your question would turn into this either.
Glad you had a nice b-day/party and everything worked out. :flowerforyou:0 -
17 pages about whether or not to eat a piece of cake. MFP, you are fabulous!0
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my mom actually makes cakes not always a good thing lol but anyway this year i told her in advance what i wanted i found a cake made entirely out of fruit
haha now i dont have to worry about the temptation of a peice of my own birthday cake or hurt her feelings. It is your day you shouldnt have to eat or do anything that you dont really want to. I think its also ok to have a birthday cake as it is traditional and other people who do enjoy cake can eat it and celebrate with you but it is perfectly ok to say no thank you to a slice of your own cake 0 -
...Also, just say that you want a tine piece and eat it ...have less of something else to compensate...
Many have expressed a similar opinion (eg, "it won't kill you", "only once a year", etc) ~ and this ^ just doesn't sit right with me. Why should I have "less of something else to compensate" so as to eat a food I just DO NOT want? That makes no sense to me. Shouldn't matter to others why I don't want it IMO.0 -
...Also, just say that you want a tine piece and eat it ...have less of something else to compensate...
Many have expressed a similar opinion (eg, "it won't kill you", "only once a year", etc) ~ and this ^ just doesn't sit right with me. Why should I have "less of something else to compensate" so as to eat a food I just DO NOT want? That makes no sense to me. Shouldn't matter to others why I don't want it IMO.
Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
Well again, seems to me this thread has broadened to more in-general than the OP's particular situation (which OP didn't mention ED anyway, others assumed and/or figured it out and/or read past posts of hers). The post I quoted & replied to made NO mention of ED, as in "**If you have an ED** just take a tiny piece and have less of something else to compensate". That doesn't seem it'd be a helpful response to suggest to one with an ED anyway (IMO).
So how about in-general (forgetting the OP), how about if I just don't want a piece of my birthday cake? What about if I don't want less of enjoying a 2nd helping of fried calamari to compensate for cake? Because from many of the responses I read, my impression was ED was NOT a factor, many replied to seeming insist "it won't kill you", "take a tiny piece" just at the idea someone wouldn't want cake.0 -
...Also, just say that you want a tine piece and eat it ...have less of something else to compensate...
Many have expressed a similar opinion (eg, "it won't kill you", "only once a year", etc) ~ and this ^ just doesn't sit right with me. Why should I have "less of something else to compensate" so as to eat a food I just DO NOT want? That makes no sense to me. Shouldn't matter to others why I don't want it IMO.
Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
The reason I don't want it, is because I would NOT ENJOY EATING IT! IT IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T APPEAL TO TO ME!!0 -
Why don't you suggest her buying fruit salad instead of a cake? Fruit salad is sweet and delicious and if she bought it then it wouldn't cost her TOOO much in time or money.0
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Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
The reason I don't want it, is because I would NOT ENJOY EATING IT! IT IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T APPEAL TO TO ME!!
People here are ridiculous.
And I absolutely agree that store bought cake just does not taste right. The frosting usually has a waxy/plastic-y taste to it that tastes nothing at all like homemade frosting with just butter and sugar in it. If people like it, then they should eat it, but forcing it on other people is absurd.
Good grief - if people don't like brussels sprouts for instance, I'd just encourage them to try other vegetables and find something they like. Not IF YOU DON'T EAT THIS ONE FOOD THAT I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIKE, YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER".0 -
...Also, just say that you want a tine piece and eat it ...have less of something else to compensate...
Many have expressed a similar opinion (eg, "it won't kill you", "only once a year", etc) ~ and this ^ just doesn't sit right with me. Why should I have "less of something else to compensate" so as to eat a food I just DO NOT want? That makes no sense to me. Shouldn't matter to others why I don't want it IMO.
Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
Well again, seems to me this thread has broadened to more in-general than the OP's particular situation (which OP didn't mention ED anyway, others assumed and/or figured it out and/or read past posts of hers). The post I quoted & replied to made NO mention of ED, as in "**If you have an ED** just take a tiny piece and have less of something else to compensate". That doesn't seem it'd be a helpful response to suggest to one with an ED anyway (IMO).
So how about in-general (forgetting the OP), how about if I just don't want a piece of my birthday cake? What about if I don't want less of enjoying a 2nd helping of fried calamari to compensate for cake? Because from many of the responses I read, my impression was ED was NOT a factor, many replied to seeming insist "it won't kill you", "take a tiny piece" just at the idea someone wouldn't want cake.
We concluded she may have an ED based on the content of her post, and we were right.
This thread isn't about you or what you want. It's about the OP.0 -
...Also, just say that you want a tine piece and eat it ...have less of something else to compensate...
Many have expressed a similar opinion (eg, "it won't kill you", "only once a year", etc) ~ and this ^ just doesn't sit right with me. Why should I have "less of something else to compensate" so as to eat a food I just DO NOT want? That makes no sense to me. Shouldn't matter to others why I don't want it IMO.
Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
The reason I don't want it, is because I would NOT ENJOY EATING IT! IT IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T APPEAL TO TO ME!!
then tell your sister you do not like cake and ask her to bring fruit salad or something...geez...0 -
tell her you a re dieting0
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store cake is gross i wouldnt want to eat it either0
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:flowerforyou: I have been saying no to birthday cake for over four years.....if it's my birthday, I say that I don't use food for a treat and please don't bring me any food and expect me to eat it.0
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Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?
My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.
Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!
Well, it depends. If you are prone to food addiction, one piece could send you into a binge and it is best to avoid it. If you have a normal relationship to food, you could take one small piece and be done with it until your next birthday. It isn't the healthiest choice but just one day of bad eating isn't going to undo months of good eating. 0 -
...Also, just say that you want a tine piece and eat it ...have less of something else to compensate...
Many have expressed a similar opinion (eg, "it won't kill you", "only once a year", etc) ~ and this ^ just doesn't sit right with me. Why should I have "less of something else to compensate" so as to eat a food I just DO NOT want? That makes no sense to me. Shouldn't matter to others why I don't want it IMO.
Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
Well again, seems to me this thread has broadened to more in-general than the OP's particular situation (which OP didn't mention ED anyway, others assumed and/or figured it out and/or read past posts of hers). The post I quoted & replied to made NO mention of ED, as in "**If you have an ED** just take a tiny piece and have less of something else to compensate". That doesn't seem it'd be a helpful response to suggest to one with an ED anyway (IMO).
So how about in-general (forgetting the OP), how about if I just don't want a piece of my birthday cake? What about if I don't want less of enjoying a 2nd helping of fried calamari to compensate for cake? Because from many of the responses I read, my impression was ED was NOT a factor, many replied to seeming insist "it won't kill you", "take a tiny piece" just at the idea someone wouldn't want cake.
We concluded she may have an ED based on the content of her post, and we were right.
This thread isn't about you or what you want. It's about the OP.
I disagree. My impression is some of this thread sure HAS broadened beyond just being about the OP.
And again, the specific post I quoted and replied to was obviously not focused even one tiny bit on the possibility of an ED. IMO that post would NOT be a helpful suggestion to one with an ED anyway, do you? Do you think it'd be helpful to tell someone with an ED "well just eat less of something else to compensate for the cake"? What good would that do? Person would still be enabling their ED to exchange one food for another. Makes no sense (to me).
*Just to be clear, I agree with the suggestions to inform SIL prior that OP doesn't want cake. And I personally would take a slice and thank SIL if she brought the cake especially for me. I simply disagree with insisting "just eat the damn cake, it won't kill you".0 -
you could accept a small piece and then kind of play with it on your plate. No one is going to be watching you to make sure you actually eat it.
That's such an anorexic strategy. A small slice of birthday cake won't kill the OP, or make her fat.
However, if she doesn't ENJOY birthday cake, there are a number of different things she could request as an alternative. For instance -> http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/invitation-only-rachel-faucett/5-alternative-birthday-cakes-youll-love/
Just google "alternatives to birthday cakes."
^^^^ this
One piece of cake once a year isn't going to make you fat or unhealthy. It's not occasions like this that count, it's your day to day diet and lifestyle that counts.
that said, I have a policy of only eating "unhealthy" food if I'm really going to enjoy it. For me to eat food it has to be either a) very nutritious or b) extremely enjoyable, or both. If it's neither one then IMO it's a waste of calories. Most foods I eat are both, but there are some, like chocolate, that I regularly enjoy in sensible portions, i.e. without letting it stop me achieving my goals.
Foods that fit into neither category, I simply don't eat and if offered to me, depending on the situation I'll either accept it "for later" then not eat it later, or I'll say that I'm not hungry. Usually if you bring "I can't, I'm watching what I eat" into it, people feel like they're sparing you from some kind of self torture by encouraging you to have some, because you gave them the message "I really, really want this but I'm not allowed it because of my diet"... and they want to give you permission to enjoy yourself. So you need to give them the message "I really don't want any cake" - saying you're not hungry generally stops any further offers, and if they still offer, take some home "for later" then dispose of it.
If your sis in law hasn't bought the cake yet, it's probably a good idea to say you really don't like cake all that much, and you'd rather have something else. If she's already bought the cake then saying you're not hungry and taking it home "for later" is probably the best way to deal with it. But maybe your sister bought the cake because *she* and other family members like it... if you're up front with her about it, she'll probably be okay with you not having a slice of it.0 -
store cake is gross i wouldnt want to eat it either
^^THIS^^ I personally would not enjoy a commercial cake that is ALWAYS made with the cheapest (read inferior) of ingredients. They make the frosting out of Crisco and sugar! :sick: You could suggest that what you would really LOVE is a nice fruit flan and that you will make up the ingredients in advance (an almond meal crust, vanilla custard and fresh fruit) and all she has to do is put it together before the party. If you are going to break your diet for a day, you might as well do it for something yummy AND nourishing. 0 -
store cake is gross i wouldnt want to eat it either
^^THIS^^ I personally would not enjoy a commercial cake that is ALWAYS made with the cheapest (read inferior) of ingredients. They make the frosting out of Crisco and sugar! :sick: You could suggest that what you would really LOVE is a nice fruit flan and that you will make up the ingredients in advance (an almond meal crust, vanilla custard and fresh fruit) and all she has to do is put it together before the party. If you are going to break your diet for a day, you might as well do it for something yummy AND nourishing.
You would never eat any kind of cake at all because you think any amount of sugar will make you fat and you just "can't fit any" into your day.0 -
store cake is gross i wouldnt want to eat it either
^^THIS^^ I personally would not enjoy a commercial cake that is ALWAYS made with the cheapest (read inferior) of ingredients. They make the frosting out of Crisco and sugar! :sick: You could suggest that what you would really LOVE is a nice fruit flan and that you will make up the ingredients in advance (an almond meal crust, vanilla custard and fresh fruit) and all she has to do is put it together before the party. If you are going to break your diet for a day, you might as well do it for something yummy AND nourishing.
You would never eat any kind of cake at all because you think any amount of sugar will make you fat and you just "can't fit any" into your day.
To the contrary, I have eaten a small piece of cake on a special occasion but I honestly did not enjoy it--finding it much too sweet (usually, I discretely dumped it in the garbage after one or two bites). It is amazing how junk food loses its appeal when one's standard diet includes whole, nourishing foods. I don't think eating sugary treats will make anyone fat per se--but it does lead to an addiction to sugar and starch in many people--and THAT WILL make someone fat. 0 -
My mom bought me a going away cake when I moved from Chicago to Seattle last month. She knows I'm not a big fan of cake, but she knows I'll eat it if it has butter cream frosting instead of whipped cream frosting. I thanked her profusely for it, ate maybe 3 or 4 very slim slices and let her, my brother, and my best friend blow through the rest without making it obvious.
Point is, be nice and take a slice here and there. But if you really just dislike the taste of cake (like I do) perhaps tell them before your birthday, you'd prefer fudge brownies (*drools) or pie or whatever else you prefer. If you dislike it for "health" reasons, then just have a really slim slice and move on.0 -
store cake is gross i wouldnt want to eat it either
^^THIS^^ I personally would not enjoy a commercial cake that is ALWAYS made with the cheapest (read inferior) of ingredients. They make the frosting out of Crisco and sugar! :sick: You could suggest that what you would really LOVE is a nice fruit flan and that you will make up the ingredients in advance (an almond meal crust, vanilla custard and fresh fruit) and all she has to do is put it together before the party. If you are going to break your diet for a day, you might as well do it for something yummy AND nourishing.
You would never eat any kind of cake at all because you think any amount of sugar will make you fat and you just "can't fit any" into your day.
To the contrary, I have eaten a small piece of cake on a special occasion but I honestly did not enjoy it--finding it much too sweet (usually, I discretely dumped it in the garbage after one or two bites). It is amazing how junk food loses its appeal when one's standard diet includes whole, nourishing foods. I don't think eating sugary treats will make anyone fat per se--but it does lead to an addiction to sugar and starch in many people--and THAT WILL make someone fat.
So scared of sugar that you have to secretly throw away cake.
That sounds healthy and fun. Actually it sounds depressing as hell.0 -
Because the reason you don't want it is that you have an eating disorder.
The reason I don't want it, is because I would NOT ENJOY EATING IT! IT IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T APPEAL TO TO ME!!
People here are ridiculous.
And I absolutely agree that store bought cake just does not taste right. The frosting usually has a waxy/plastic-y taste to it that tastes nothing at all like homemade frosting with just butter and sugar in it. If people like it, then they should eat it, but forcing it on other people is absurd.
Good grief - if people don't like brussels sprouts for instance, I'd just encourage them to try other vegetables and find something they like. Not IF YOU DON'T EAT THIS ONE FOOD THAT I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIKE, YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER".
publix bakery has awesome cakes..
that german chocolate thing they make is freaking amazing...0 -
store cake is gross i wouldnt want to eat it either
^^THIS^^ I personally would not enjoy a commercial cake that is ALWAYS made with the cheapest (read inferior) of ingredients. They make the frosting out of Crisco and sugar! :sick: You could suggest that what you would really LOVE is a nice fruit flan and that you will make up the ingredients in advance (an almond meal crust, vanilla custard and fresh fruit) and all she has to do is put it together before the party. If you are going to break your diet for a day, you might as well do it for something yummy AND nourishing.
You would never eat any kind of cake at all because you think any amount of sugar will make you fat and you just "can't fit any" into your day.
To the contrary, I have eaten a small piece of cake on a special occasion but I honestly did not enjoy it--finding it much too sweet (usually, I discretely dumped it in the garbage after one or two bites). It is amazing how junk food loses its appeal when one's standard diet includes whole, nourishing foods. I don't think eating sugary treats will make anyone fat per se--but it does lead to an addiction to sugar and starch in many people--and THAT WILL make someone fat.
So scared of sugar that you have to secretly throw away cake.
That sounds healthy and fun. Actually it sounds depressing as hell.
Not "scared" just find sugary food unappealing--nauseatingly sweet. You persist in trying to type anyone who prefers to avoid food choices of your choosing, messed up in some way. I feel better than I have felt in many years--(mind your own business, thank you very much). AND, I am just the opposite of being depressed. Perhaps you should think about what you said. I would be concerned about someone whose happiness hinges on eating cake. 0 -
You've made it cleat you think sugar is evil.
Trying to pretend you really don't like it is rationalization.0 -
You've made it cleat you think sugar is evil.
Trying to pretend you really don't like it is rationalization.
No. Sugar (sucrose) is poisonous to some people--evil, no. It is a quick source of energy for those who can well-tolerate it (but that wouldn't be me or the millions of obese individuals in the world). But, even then, it could be considered an "anti-nutrient" as it takes more nutrients from those who eat it, than is supplied by it. It is not a food--it is a synthetic fraction of a food. It has addictive qualities and it does great harm to those who get "addicted" to it. Here is a link to a blog post written by a woman who lost three hundred pounds after she dealt with her sugar addiction. Enjoy. http://www.300poundsdown.com/2013/06/sugar-addiction-detox-and-gaining-control-over-food.html
As for rationalization, I would say that those who get "depressed" at the thought of doing without it are merely rationalizing their addiction. 0 -
You've made it cleat you think sugar is evil.
Trying to pretend you really don't like it is rationalization.
No. Sugar (sucrose) is poisonous to some people--evil, no. It is a quick source of energy for those who can well-tolerate it (but that wouldn't be me or the millions of obese individuals in the world). But, even then, it could be considered an "anti-nutrient" as it takes more nutrients from those who eat it, than is supplied by it. It is not a food--it is a synthetic fraction of a food. It has addictive qualities and it does great harm to those who get "addicted" to it. Here is a link to a blog post written by a woman who lost three hundred pounds after she dealt with her sugar addiction. Enjoy. http://www.300poundsdown.com/2013/06/sugar-addiction-detox-and-gaining-control-over-food.html
As for rationalization, I would say that those who get "depressed" at the thought of doing without it are merely rationalizing their addiction.
That's an ignorant post you linked to, so she's addicted to sugar and apparently can't do moderation, yet offers a shake "detox" with shakes containing some sugar in it? Thought she couldn't do sugar in moderation? Also I see no mention of going zero carb to help with her sugar addiction, what is a saccharide?I am not a scientist so I cannot fully explain to you what sugar does to your body physiologically. But I can direct you to some sources that might further explain it. Suffice it to say that sugar addiction is real. Some forms of sugar have even been altered in a lab to make it more addictive so that you find it even harder to resist.
Which would those be, lol0 -
in for answers.You've made it cleat you think sugar is evil.
Trying to pretend you really don't like it is rationalization.
No. Sugar (sucrose) is poisonous to some people--evil, no. It is a quick source of energy for those who can well-tolerate it (but that wouldn't be me or the millions of obese individuals in the world). But, even then, it could be considered an "anti-nutrient" as it takes more nutrients from those who eat it, than is supplied by it. It is not a food--it is a synthetic fraction of a food. It has addictive qualities and it does great harm to those who get "addicted" to it. Here is a link to a blog post written by a woman who lost three hundred pounds after she dealt with her sugar addiction. Enjoy. http://www.300poundsdown.com/2013/06/sugar-addiction-detox-and-gaining-control-over-food.html
As for rationalization, I would say that those who get "depressed" at the thought of doing without it are merely rationalizing their addiction.
That's an ignorant post you linked to, so she's addicted to sugar and apparently can't do moderation, yet offers a shake "detox" with shakes containing some sugar in it? Thought she couldn't do sugar in moderation? Also I see no mention of going zero carb to help with her sugar addiction, what is a saccharide?I am not a scientist so I cannot fully explain to you what sugar does to your body physiologically. But I can direct you to some sources that might further explain it. Suffice it to say that sugar addiction is real. Some forms of sugar have even been altered in a lab to make it more addictive so that you find it even harder to resist.
Which would those be, lol
Also, I hope they really are addicted to sugar. I hope everyone is. If your brain stopped getting that stuff, it'd die.
If you think that it was anyone but that persons fault that they were 300 lbs heavier and it's because something in the world made her like a specific food, and if it never existed she'd be skinny, should we just get rid of foods people are addicted to? luls. So, everyone else should be addicted to it to right? Because science made it addictive? Then why don't a lot of people I know have a sweet tooth? Lots of people are 'addicted' to certain foods and just haven't eaten enough of it to make them 300lbs heavier. It's not because they were wearing a tinfoil hat to stop it from being mutated into evilness. If they had an addiction they learned to control it and didn't blame it on the rest of the world, a specific food, or science for food changing. I had a sweet tooth, and I lost a bunch of weight, and still have a sweet tooth and have to much sugar regularly. And do you know whose fault it was for getting as big as I did? My own. I was upset, and just couldn't deal with my own problems at the time, ignored some things and got a little blind, and that's my own fault.
By the sounds of it sugar wasn't poisonous really...since by that logic anything is. Copious amounts of a specific thing would yep, make you sick.0 -
You've made it cleat you think sugar is evil.
Trying to pretend you really don't like it is rationalization.
No. Sugar (sucrose) is poisonous to some people--evil, no. It is a quick source of energy for those who can well-tolerate it (but that wouldn't be me or the millions of obese individuals in the world). But, even then, it could be considered an "anti-nutrient" as it takes more nutrients from those who eat it, than is supplied by it. It is not a food--it is a synthetic fraction of a food. It has addictive qualities and it does great harm to those who get "addicted" to it. Here is a link to a blog post written by a woman who lost three hundred pounds after she dealt with her sugar addiction. Enjoy. http://www.300poundsdown.com/2013/06/sugar-addiction-detox-and-gaining-control-over-food.html
As for rationalization, I would say that those who get "depressed" at the thought of doing without it are merely rationalizing their addiction.
That's an ignorant post you linked to, so she's addicted to sugar and apparently can't do moderation, yet offers a shake "detox" with shakes containing some sugar in it? Thought she couldn't do sugar in moderation? Also I see no mention of going zero carb to help with her sugar addiction, what is a saccharide?I am not a scientist so I cannot fully explain to you what sugar does to your body physiologically. But I can direct you to some sources that might further explain it. Suffice it to say that sugar addiction is real. Some forms of sugar have even been altered in a lab to make it more addictive so that you find it even harder to resist.
Which would those be, lol
She SAID she is not a scientist--but she is someone who lost 300 pounds by cutting sugar out of her life. So, I guess that qualifies her as something of an expert in the weight-loss field. Have a nice day. :smooched:0
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