Sabotage???

micheleb15

This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?

Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."

kellyhdent

my husband is an otr truck driver as well, and usually doesn't eat the same things that I do... he enjoys fried foods, lots of carbs, etc... but NEVER GAINS ANY WEIGHT {frustrating beyond measure!}. when he is home, and he wants those foods, I cook them for him because I know he wants them and enjoys them... which I don't mind. just because I make him maple bacon cupcakes doesn't mean I have to eat 6 of them, I usually pass on them {self control} and don't worry about it. no sabotage going on, that's his decision, not mine!

HeidiCooksSupper

Selfish? No, no, no! If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and have even a vague idea of what is meant by "better than sex" then he is old enough to make his own darn cake. He is also old enough to have learned about empathy and wouldn't ask his stepmother to do this for him if he knew she was struggling to control her eating.

He's not asking her to help him with an illness. He's asking her for a damned cake and those of you who suggest she is being selfish are seeming to suggest that she should be a doormat and bend her wishes to his selfishness.

Sounds like Papa needs to teach the boy about the feelings of others.

SarahRose35

If he has a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure he's old enough to cook.

The 'better than sex cake' is like a chocolate cake with caramel in it & whip cream on top. Or at least that's what my mom makes....

Morninglory81

This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?

Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."

WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?

micheleb15

Selfish? No, no, no! If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and have even a vague idea of what is meant by "better than sex" then he is old enough to make his own darn cake. He is also old enough to have learned about empathy and wouldn't ask his stepmother to do this for him if he knew she was struggling to control her eating.

He's not asking her to help him with an illness. He's asking her for a damned cake and those of you who suggest she is being selfish are seeming to suggest that she should be a doormat and bend her wishes to his selfishness.

Sounds like Papa needs to teach the boy about the feelings of others.

It said her girlfriend's house. And a huge WTF to the dad needing to teach the boy a lesson. He just asked for cake. She didn't make it because of her choices which the house now has to follow. She didn't say she didn't want to make it because she was tired. She said she wouldn't make it because she couldn't have any.

micheleb15

This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?

Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."

WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?

Those were her words not mine - actually her husband's words.

MzPix

Also,
why can't dad make the cake?

81Katz

if the step son understands phrases like "CAKE" let alone ... "Better Than Sex" Cake, something tells me he's probably old enough to read to understand things so he could probably ask for the recipe and make the cake himself.

Or Dad could make it ...


Problem solved.

Morninglory81

This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?

Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."

WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?

Those were her words not mine - actually her husband's words.

Only after the boy refused to hear no to his request and tried to press for it further. That threat is more likely a response to the boys unwillingness to hear the word no than anything else.

pastryari

You people getting offended that we expect her to be a short order cook or a 1950s housewife are missing the point. It's just about doing something nice for someone. That's all.

I don't have children but I do have young brothers and if they asked me to make them a cake, I'd make them a cake. It's a special request and doesn't sound like an every day occurrence.

Do you also get mad if someone in a restaurant orders a high calorie dish and you can't have any because you're on a diet? Sheesh!

pastryari

This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.

Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?

Than he is to young to make decisions about what is eaten. It's just that simple.

Yes, let's tell the child that he can only have cake "if he wants to die."

WOW that escalated! Being a bit silly now aren't we?

Those were her words not mine - actually her husband's words.

Only after the boy refused to hear no to his request and tried to press for it further. That threat is more likely a response to the boys unwillingness to hear the word no than anything else.

I didn't take it as a thread, I took it as the father making a joke. I don't think the father was actually threatening the life of his son....

And you take him asking her to make it as cupcakes and he'd eat it elsewhere outside of the house as "pressing it further" is a bit much. It sounded like he was trying to compromise to me.

highervibes

I took a peek through your diary and you seem to have a lot of room for a sliver of cake. I would have made it but that's just me. I'm glad your husband is being supportive but I would still consider the cake

SchroederNJ

Sounds like you should just get rid of the step son --- totally unreasonable kid --- how dare he (sarcasm).

MzPix

You people getting offended that we expect her to be a short order cook or a 1950s housewife are missing the point. It's just about doing something nice for someone. That's all.
I don't have children but I do have young brothers and if they asked me to make them a cake, I'd make them a cake. It's a special request and doesn't sound like an every day occurrence.
Do you also get mad if someone in a restaurant orders a high calorie dish and you can't have any because you're on a diet? Sheesh!

Since I made the 1950s comment, I'll assume you are addressing me.
I'm not offended. I'm also not missing the point. No step-parent is obligated to make a kid a cake just because he wants one. Basic Parenting 101. Kids don't always get what they want, regardless of how "nice" it might be to hand them the things they ask for.
And none of us are obligated to do every nice thing that someone else requests.
So you would make your brother a cake. Great for you. I would not make one for my son. Great for me. That doesn't exaggerate or negate any of the other nice or not nice things we do for others throughout our lives.
And although it's totally irrelevant, no, I don't get mad about what other people order in restaurants. And if they asked me to bake them a cake, I'd tell them no also.

I also suggested teaching the kid to bake, or the husband making the cake.

michellechawner

I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!
Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!

No, apparently you're not the only one..

This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

You couldn't make your stepson a cake and simply not have any or make room if your day for a piece? I went to school for baking & pastry and I bake things all the time for others because I enjoy it and because I like doing nice things for other people. I either don't have any or I fit it into my calories for the day.

Edit: Since this is MFP I feel the need to add a disclaimer. This is merely my thoughts on the subject in hopes to give you a little perspective and shouldn't be misconstrued as being mean, rude, or a bully. Have a great day! :flowerforyou:

^^I agree! I'm not saying the OP did the wrong thing - I too am a baker but just found out I have a gluten intolerance. I still bake, because I enjoy doing it, even if I can't eat it. My family enjoys it, and they know they will have to be the ones to eat it.

While it is great your husband support you (since most don't, so that is refreshing!) it doesn't mean your son needs to suffer. He probably has a high metabolism and can burn that cake off in no time. You could even invite his friends over and they could hang out and eat the cake so you wouldn't have to. Even better, depending on his age - if he's a teen - show him how to make the cake so he could make it for himself if he wanted.

IF you son was asking for the cake daily, ok. But once in a while? It's called MODERATION. It's fine.

janecarol61

You could teach him how to make the cake.

This!

garber6th

I know when I bake, I want to taste. I still bake, but I took a little break from it so that I could focus on establishing new healthier habits, and now when I do bake, I am not all up in the cake batter or frosting but I do allow my self to taste what I make. Life includes stuff like cake, and when you make all or nothing rules, that can set you up for failure.

chelsifina

My goodness!!! If the woman doesn't want to make a cake or fears that she would have difficulty reigning in her cravings if she made it - why on earth is it "rude" or "selfish" of her not to make a cake. Can't we just support one another in the decisions we make to become healthier people? She has determined that making the cake would end up causing her to sabotage her diet - good for her for knowing her limits, and good for her husband to support her. It doesn't sound like she is forcing anyone to eat differently - she is simply cooking differently and not making separate meals for everyone else. Why is that unreasonable? Those of you urging her to have a slice of cake - maybe that doesn't work for her! Its great that you have that room in your diet and can moderate, but what works for you isn't universally applicable to everyone else all the time.
OP posted by stating that she had a personal insight regarding things she does that may lead to her thwarting her goal of a healthier lifestyle and also shared a touching moment where she felt supported and valued by her husband. Those are causes to celebrate. Putting her needs last (and things like stepson's insistent demands for cake) likely is a common obstacle for her, as it can be for many of us.

pastryari

You people getting offended that we expect her to be a short order cook or a 1950s housewife are missing the point. It's just about doing something nice for someone. That's all.
I don't have children but I do have young brothers and if they asked me to make them a cake, I'd make them a cake. It's a special request and doesn't sound like an every day occurrence.
Do you also get mad if someone in a restaurant orders a high calorie dish and you can't have any because you're on a diet? Sheesh!

Since I made the 1950s comment, I'll assume you are addressing me.
I'm not offended. I'm also not missing the point. No step-parent is obligated to make a kid a cake just because he wants one. Basic Parenting 101. Kids don't always get what they want, regardless of how "nice" it might be to hand them the things they ask for.
And none of us are obligated to do every nice thing that someone else requests.
So you would make your brother a cake. Great for you. I would not make one for my son. Great for me. That doesn't exaggerate or negate any of the other nice or not nice things we do for others throughout our lives.
And although it's totally irrelevant, no, I don't get mad about what other people order in restaurants. And if they asked me to bake them a cake, I'd tell them no also.

Nope, the minute you used "obligated to", "always get what they want", and "hand them the things they ask for", I can see you're still missing the point and refuse to budge from outside the point to see the point.

Have a nice day.