Sabotage???
Replies
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Holy omissions batman! Remind me never to ask OP to order for me at the drive through.0
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That's the problem it isn't just one cake I am making one tomorrow for his older brother's birthday. Again why should I make him a cake at 9pm. I haven't bugdeted for it. He can eat the other treats in the house that I bought for him. Rocky road ice cream, twix candy bars, pop tarts, doritos, fudge bars and various types of cookies. Those treats I can deal with. The cake I make tomorrow for his brother will have to be enough for him.
Does anyone else get the idea the two brothers are snickering while one is saying "I bet I can get her to bake ME a cake on YOUR birthday, while the other one says I BET YOU CAN'T!"
P.S. I just recently baked TWO cakes for a birthday party. That's right TWO. Where's my cape?0 -
Also,
why can't dad make the cake?
HA!
I bake/cook a LOT of things that I either can't fit in my day or simply choose not to eat. If you don't like to make cakes for the fun of it, then have dad make it. (But seriously, I can normally find room for a piece of cake. CAKE FTW)
I have no idea what the OP has to do with "sabotage" though. :ohwell:0 -
lets just bake n eat the damn cake and be done with it.0
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The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.0
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Also,
why can't dad make the cake?
HA!
I bake/cook a LOT of things that I either can't fit in my day or simply choose not to eat. If you don't like to make cakes for the fun of it, then have dad make it. (But seriously, I can normally find room for a piece of cake. CAKE FTW)
I have no idea what the OP has to do with "sabotage" though. :ohwell:
same here. is it that a 20 yr old is sitting around wondering how to knock stepmom off her plan?
unless...
...and even then
<====seems legit. 0 -
The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
which was???
... now she should make a super sized cake and over night each of us a piece who have participated on this board?0 -
My ex wife had never really supported me like that. She kept a closet full of junk food like little debbies, twinkies, pretty much all the refined sugar junk food in the notorious junk food aisle.
For months the only thing that kept me out of the closet (sometimes) was sheer willpower. Because she would not change her habits, our eventual solution was to add a padlock to the closet door that would help me stay out of the junk food closet. She never did change her habits until she had to start a restrictive diet for her gastric bypass surgery (the roux en-Y one, not lap-band). She started losing crazy weight for the first time in her life, but this was not considered abnormal for the gastric bypass patients. She was told it was very common to lose a lot of weight on their restrictions pre-surgery.
What was frustrating was that my view was that she had never seriously attempted lifestyle changes. She ate fast food nearly every day, and stocked high sugar foods in her closet 24/7. All her "fun money" went to fast food.
We both started out severely obese. We were going to support each other in our effort to lose weight and get healthy. I stuck to my resolutions and lost weight and got healthier. She went the other direction and ate worse. It got so bad that at one point she was purposely trying to put on weight so she could qualify for gastric bypass. She was obese, but not quite enough for insurance. So she started bringing home boxes of cheese cake etc to pack on weight to qualify for surgery. It was madness.
We're separated now. But she's had her bypass surgery and lost all the weight. I'm happy for her. I know she hated being hyper obese. I can understand how miserable she felt. My heaviest weight was 318 myself. Believe it or not, I was the one against the idea of surgery. My concern with the surgery was the mal-absorbtion. If she ever needs to take serious medicine for a serious health condition (crohn's disease or cancer) she's going to have serious problems absorbing her medicine. She has two immediate members of her family with crohn's. It is a distinct possibility. After resisting the idea of surgery for a couple years, it became clear that she believed the only way she'd lose weight was through surgery. I relented at that point. If this sounds harsh, I would like to say that her longterm health mattered more to me than her losing weight super fast in a manner that could pose distinct long-term health risks.
At the present time, I have just graduated with a Master's degree and, regrettably (and like 80% of college grads now), had to move back to my mom's house because adjunct teaching pays pretty crappy. My mom stocks big drums of neapolitan ice cream in the garage freezer round-the-clock for her grandchildren. Again, only will power was keeping me out of it (again, only some of the time). The solution for everyone was again my idea of putting a combination padlock on the freezer (to keep me out of it. My brother, who lives down the block, kind of teased me and acted like this solution was a little ridiculous. It is not in any way, and is quite practical. My niece and nephews get to have their daily ice cream after dinner, and I don't have to put up with the temptation to have a bowl myself in the middle of the night (or whenever).
sorry for the tl;dr.0 -
The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
congratulations :indifferent:0 -
Not to tick anybody off here but the comment you wanna die was in a joking tone. He doesn't even raise his voice with any of the 5 kids in the house. It was just nice and very surprising to hear him back me up. It was the first time ever! Not make him a cake just because he asked for it. Especially considering his older brother's birthday is tomorrow and I am already making him a hoho cake. I don't need 2 cakes. I am not on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I eat well and plan for splurges. I keep loads of treats in the house. Why do I need to make a cake for a 20 year old adult at 9 pm when I bought him his favorite ice cream that is still in the freezer, candy bars chips and cookies. I don't need a chocolate cake drowning in caramel and heath bar bits staring me.
What I am saying is I have no willpower right now. I am admitting that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. Why should I put that temptation in my face when there is no need to? I have come up with alternatives for lots of my favorite foods while the rest of my family gets regular treats. I just don't want make any sweets right now. Why is that bad? I am not bad I am not mean and I don't care for my stepson anyless then any other child in this house. But right now I need to take care of me.
^If this had been included in your original post, I think most, if not all, of the replies would have been positive.
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The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
which was???
... now she should make a super sized cake and over night each of us a piece who have participated on this board?
seconded!
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The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
which was???
... now she should make a super sized cake and over night each of us a piece who have participated on this board?
No. Not at all. Feel free to read back to my original comments.
In a nutshell, I don't think she was wrong or selfish and that she asserted herself in saying no when someone asked her to make a cake.0 -
No step-parent is obligated to make a kid a cake just because he wants one. Basic Parenting 101. Kids don't always get what they want, regardless of how "nice" it might be to hand them the things they ask for.
That's a valid reason for not baking the cake.
HOWEVER, that's not the reason she implied. The reason OP was implying was they couldn't have any because she couldn't. That's NOT a valid reason.
But see, from many people's point of view, that IS a valid reason.
I can't smoke cigarettes because I was a 23 year addict. I will not buy them for other people. That IS valid.
I can't eat shellfish. I will not cook it for other people. That is valid.
I am not religious. I will not sit through a sermon for someone else. That is valid.
It is completely valid to decline to do a favor for someone else due to your own weaknesses with the subject of said request.
Valid?
I can't eat mushy oatmeal, but I make it for my husband. He can't eat tacos, but he puts up with the smell when I make it for myself. I am not Catholic, but I went to mass with a friend because she asked me to.
When I love someone, I am willing to do things like that for them.0 -
The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
which was???
... now she should make a super sized cake and over night each of us a piece who have participated on this board?
seconded!
if cake does exist that is better than sex, id like the recipe please...0 -
Did sex turn into a bad word and I missed the memo?
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And this is why I learned how to make cake at a young age.0
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Did sex turn into a bad word and I missed the memo?
omg... stop saying the "s" word... perv!0 -
I haven't read all the replies so I'm just going to say: it doesn't matter why she didn't want to bake the cake. She didn't want to bake it. She is not obligated to bake a cake for whatever reason.
When stepson pushed a second time for the cake, even after OP gave her reasons, husband saw that as him being disrespectful to her. So yeah, I can see why hubby was a bit snippy.
If stepson has a girlfriend, and can ask for a "better than sex" cake, he sounds like he is at least 15 or 16. Plenty old enough to be respectful and make his own cake if he wants one so bad. I would have politely said "no, I will not make it for you, but here is the recipe."0 -
If he's coming home from a friend's and asking for Better than Sex cake, he's old enough to cook, at least under supervision0
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Did you tell you were making the cake tomorrow? At 20, he could bake for himself.
My son has made brownies (with peanut butter) and cookies several times this summer. He's 14. He finds a recipe and then does his magic. I wouldn't say he is sabotaging me. I choose to eat it or not eat it. My family likes the lemon bars that I make--they eat them up; I have a small piece. Portion control!
If I was to make that Better than S#x Cake, I wouldn't call it that....kids in the house! Call me old fashioned!0 -
Also,
why can't dad make the cake?
HA!
I bake/cook a LOT of things that I either can't fit in my day or simply choose not to eat. If you don't like to make cakes for the fun of it, then have dad make it. (But seriously, I can normally find room for a piece of cake. CAKE FTW)
I have no idea what the OP has to do with "sabotage" though. :ohwell:
same here. is it that a 20 yr old is sitting around wondering how to knock stepmom off her plan?
unless...
...and even then <====seems legit.
:laugh:
I just hope my son still asks me to make him cake when he turns 20. :drinker:0 -
Give your step son the recipe and call it a day. Oh and high five the hubby for being supportive.
If a person knows they are too weak to resist a food item when it's in front of them, how is it selfish to choose not to prepare it for someone else, particularly someone who is very likely completely capable of making it himself? I'm sorry but my feeling is if you know I'm too weak to resist Oreos right now and you insist on having Oreos in the house, that's just not nice. You can eat Oreos ANYWHERE else in the world, just not in the house. Is that really asking too much from people who love you and see you struggling to maintain your focus?
My husband is doing the South Beach diet. His Achilles heel is ice cream. I like ice cream and I don't have "off limits" foods for the most part. But I wouldn't dream of mowing down on a big old bowl of ice cream in front of him. I can have it ANYTIME I want. Just not at home. And he didn't ask me to do it this way, it's just common courtesy. So I stop and get an ice cream while I'm out now and again. That's how we support one another. In the beginning of my weight loss, fruit flavored candy was just too much for me to resist. He didn't keep any in the house during that time (or since, actually). And I didn't complain when he brought chocolate into the house because it wasn't a big trigger food for me. Problem solved.0 -
okay is this better, spit mutha plucka bot damn!.... that cake looks good! no wonder kiddo was asking for it..Did sex turn into a bad word and I missed the memo?
omg... stop saying the "s" word... perv!
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Not getting tangled in this... just wanted to say LOL0 -
Give your step son the recipe and call it a day. Oh and high five the hubby for being supportive.
If a person knows they are too weak to resist a food item when it's in front of them, how is it selfish to choose not to prepare it for someone else, particularly someone who is very likely completely capable of making it himself? I'm sorry but my feeling is if you know I'm too weak to resist Oreos right now and you insist on having Oreos in the house, that's just not nice. You can eat Oreos ANYWHERE else in the world, just not in the house. Is that really asking too much from people who love you and see you struggling to maintain your focus?
My husband is doing the South Beach diet. His Achilles heel is ice cream. I like ice cream and I don't have "off limits" foods for the most part. But I wouldn't dream of mowing down on a big old bowl of ice cream in front of him. I can have it ANYTIME I want. Just not at home. And he didn't ask me to do it this way, it's just common courtesy. So I stop and get an ice cream while I'm out now and again. That's how we support one another. In the beginning of my weight loss, fruit flavored candy was just too much for me to resist. He didn't keep any in the house during that time (or since, actually). And I didn't complain when he brought chocolate into the house because it wasn't a big trigger food for me. Problem solved.
Yeah give him one from me too,
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I don't think it's selfish for you to not bake the cake. My family loves it when I cook/bake. They know that right now I am trying to get my weight under control. I have asked that they not eat certain foods in front of me and for my husband NOT to by my favorite ice cream. I am working on disciplining myself. And sometimes a small taste turns into much more.
If you know your limits, that's a starting point. The first time it took me a while to get to the point where I could go back to making treats and not eating them. I eventually did it. But I "fell off the wagon" so to speak and now am starting over.0 -
If I'm ever at a point where my friends and family ask me to bake and I say no cause it's too much temptation I've clearly failed and need to stop. My friend are all competent grown ups but everyone knows I make the beast brownies, basically a fudgy mass of butter and sugar, and I haven't stopped because 'diet'.
And I certainly don't let my husband dole out death threats, joking or otherwise. Oddly enough he's incredibly supportive without getting rude.0 -
Can't believe I've read through eight pages and still can't see the recipe for this better-than-sex cake.
Feeling used :grumble:0 -
I don't think it's selfish for you to not bake the cake. My family loves it when I cook/bake. They know that right now I am trying to get my weight under control. I have asked that they not eat certain foods in front of me and for my husband NOT to by my favorite ice cream.
It's one thing to ask family not to buy certain foods for around the house. I ask my mom not to get anything but fruit for snacks. Thankfully, both of my parents are more than supportive of my current lifestyle changes, and are actually joining me on my quest.
It's another, though, to ask someone NOT to eat a certain food in front of you? o_O It's your choice whether to eat it or not. If my dad wants to enjoy a fast food cheeseburger or a pop in front of me, by all means he can.0 -
If I'm ever at a point where my friends and family ask me to bake and I say no cause it's too much temptation I've clearly failed and need to stop. My friend are all competent grown ups but everyone knows I make the beast brownies, basically a fudgy mass of butter and sugar, and I haven't stopped because 'diet'.
And I certainly don't let my husband dole out death threats, joking or otherwise. Oddly enough he's incredibly supportive without getting rude.
This.
My best friend requested lemon meringue pie (I make an awesome from scratch one) or this
http://www.barbarabakes.com/2011/10/coconut-cream-pie-with-a-chocolate-crumb-crust/
I making it this weekend.0
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