Sabotage???
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I feel awful for all the children out there with no cake *sigh*
I feel awful for all the children out there with no cake because they have parents who can't control themselves lol0 -
i was going to put in my two cents but i think MzPix has said everything there is to be said. Just some closing thoughts though...
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
― Oscar Wilde
In this regard both the mother and the stepson can both be perceived as selfish. But since she is the mother and he is the son she has the automatic trump card. That at least is how i was raised. As a child/teenager/young adult i was never raised to believe that i deserved something that i did not need.0 -
I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!
Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!
No, apparently you're not the only one..
This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
You couldn't make your stepson a cake and simply not have any or make room if your day for a piece? I went to school for baking & pastry and I bake things all the time for others because I enjoy it and because I like doing nice things for other people. I either don't have any or I fit it into my calories for the day.
Edit: Since this is MFP I feel the need to add a disclaimer. This is merely my thoughts on the subject in hopes to give you a little perspective and shouldn't be misconstrued as being mean, rude, or a bully. Have a great day! :flowerforyou:
can you bake something for me, darling?
also, if i eat this cookie here, will my MFP friends a) defriend me or b) want to hump me? will i get FRs or slanderous PMs? i love chocolate!!!
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Selfish? No, no, no! If he's old enough to have a girlfriend and have even a vague idea of what is meant by "better than sex" then he is old enough to make his own darn cake. He is also old enough to have learned about empathy and wouldn't ask his stepmother to do this for him if he knew she was struggling to control her eating.
He's not asking her to help him with an illness. He's asking her for a damned cake and those of you who suggest she is being selfish are seeming to suggest that she should be a doormat and bend her wishes to his selfishness.
Sounds like Papa needs to teach the boy about the feelings of others.
this exactly, if he is old enough to be have a girlfriend AND ask his step mother for a cake called better than sex.he is old enough to operate an oven, I would simply have said I would be happy to show you how to make it.
So happy to see her husband stood up for her.0 -
i have 5 kids, who are all skinny skinny, or normal skinny. they cannot follow my eating plan, they would waste away! i make them stuff all the time. cake, cupcakes, ice cream smoothies, fruit smoothies... home made chips and salsa... i either don't eat it... ot fit a piece / bite / cup into my daily calories. sure, im not dragging the family out to in n out burger anymore, but im definitely not denying them the good stuff they were used to at home. i don't think its sabotaging, i think it you who needs to be able to have self control to say, ill make it, and i wont eat it... or, ill make it, and ill only have 1 piece...0
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I know I am not the only person who has this issue. So my husband for our entire 10 marriage has been an over the road truck driver, well until the last 2 months. For the first six weeks I made the food everynight that he likes to eat thinking that he wouldn't eat anything I was eating because he really is a very picky eater. In the the last 2 weeks I decided that he would just have to get over it. once he realized that how serious I was about getting my pre-baby body back he has been really supportive!
Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat. He said well you could make it in cupcakes like Cori did and he would just eat it outside. I will be darned before I could even say another world my hubby jumped in and said not unless you want to die!!! You have no idea how proud of my husband I was! For the first time since I started trying to lose weight I feel like I have an actual ally!
So I have to wonder, with my husband being so great about this if I haven't been just sabotaging myself all this time? At least I know that he will back me up and be there for me when I am having a weak moment. I feel really good about this!
No, apparently you're not the only one..
This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
You couldn't make your stepson a cake and simply not have any or make room if your day for a piece? I went to school for baking & pastry and I bake things all the time for others because I enjoy it and because I like doing nice things for other people. I either don't have any or I fit it into my calories for the day.
Edit: Since this is MFP I feel the need to add a disclaimer. This is merely my thoughts on the subject in hopes to give you a little perspective and shouldn't be misconstrued as being mean, rude, or a bully. Have a great day! :flowerforyou:
can you bake something for me, darling?
also, if i eat this cookie here, will my MFP friends a) defriend me or b) want to hump me? will i get FRs or slanderous PMs? i love chocolate!!!
Damn you Laura!
ETA - There's no way I will find a cookie that big either!0 -
Damn I was going to give advice but turns out I won't get listened to unless I get impregnated. 'Cause obviously nobody would deal with children otherwise.You people getting offended that we expect her to be a short order cook or a 1950s housewife are missing the point. It's just about doing something nice for someone. That's all.
I don't have children but I do have young brothers and if they asked me to make them a cake, I'd make them a cake. It's a special request and doesn't sound like an every day occurrence.
Do you also get mad if someone in a restaurant orders a high calorie dish and you can't have any because you're on a diet? Sheesh!
Since I made the 1950s comment, I'll assume you are addressing me.
I'm not offended. I'm also not missing the point. No step-parent is obligated to make a kid a cake just because he wants one. Basic Parenting 101. Kids don't always get what they want, regardless of how "nice" it might be to hand them the things they ask for.
And none of us are obligated to do every nice thing that someone else requests.
So you would make your brother a cake. Great for you. I would not make one for my son. Great for me. That doesn't exaggerate or negate any of the other nice or not nice things we do for others throughout our lives.
And although it's totally irrelevant, no, I don't get mad about what other people order in restaurants. And if they asked me to bake them a cake, I'd tell them no also.
Nope, the minute you used "obligated to", "always get what they want", and "hand them the things they ask for", I can see you're still missing the point and refuse to budge from outside the point to see the point.
Have a nice day.
adini749
you are being a bit childish now. It's ok for you to state your opinion and just because MzPix has a differnt opinion you act like a child. Pull it together girl.
Also Adini749. I think you said so yourself that you are not a parent. So what do you know about giving into children's requests to bake cakes?0 -
this exactly, if he is old enough to be have a girlfriend AND ask his step mother for a cake called better than sex.he is old enough to operate an oven, I would simply have said I would be happy to show you how to make it.
So happy to see her husband stood up for her.
Well turns out OP doesn't want her step-son to make it either, she doesn't want the temptation in the house.0 -
can you bake something for me, darling?
also, if i eat this cookie here, will my MFP friends a) defriend me or b) want to hump me? will i get FRs or slanderous PMs? i love chocolate!!!
If this thread has taught me anything it's that if you eat that one cookie, you will be getting diabetes!!!!0 -
Last night my step son came home and asked me if I could make this better than sex cake that he had at my girlfriends house. I told him no I wouldn't make it. That is wasn't fair to me that I would have make a cake that I then couldn't eat.
So, does this mean that when you do the grocery shopping for the family that you don't purchase anything for anyone else unless it's something that you feel you can also eat? That would make it fair for you, right? And that's what this is all about, yes?0 -
i have 5 kids, who are all skinny skinny, or normal skinny. they cannot follow my eating plan, they would waste away! i make them stuff all the time. cake, cupcakes, ice cream smoothies, fruit smoothies... home made chips and salsa... i either don't eat it... ot fit a piece / bite / cup into my daily calories. sure, im not dragging the family out to in n out burger anymore, but im definitely not denying them the good stuff they were used to at home. i don't think its sabotaging, i think it you who needs to be able to have self control to say, ill make it, and i wont eat it... or, ill make it, and ill only have 1 piece...
How dare you try to bring logic and a common sense approach to this discussion? Clearly your kids are villains for even asking anything of you! Don't they know how to use an oven? /sarcasm
Great post! :flowerforyou:0 -
I heard there was cake here.0
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You could teach him how to make the cake.
This. There is nothing stopping him from making the cake. I think the OP was well within her rights to not make it.0 -
i have 5 kids, who are all skinny skinny, or normal skinny. they cannot follow my eating plan, they would waste away! i make them stuff all the time. cake, cupcakes, ice cream smoothies, fruit smoothies... home made chips and salsa... i either don't eat it... ot fit a piece / bite / cup into my daily calories. sure, im not dragging the family out to in n out burger anymore, but im definitely not denying them the good stuff they were used to at home. i don't think its sabotaging, i think it you who needs to be able to have self control to say, ill make it, and i wont eat it... or, ill make it, and ill only have 1 piece...
How dare you try to bring logic and a common sense approach to this discussion? Clearly your kids are villains for even asking anything of you! Don't they know how to use an oven? /sarcasm
Great post! :flowerforyou:
you realize the difference in the posts right? The OP has said she just doesn't trust herself to have the cake in the house. Another person has no problem having cake (or whatever) and either NOT eating it or just having a little. BIG difference.
I don't see why it's difficult for some people to understand that to you CAKE is just cake (or whatever food) but to someone else it's NOT 'just cake'.0 -
You people getting offended that we expect her to be a short order cook or a 1950s housewife are missing the point. It's just about doing something nice for someone. That's all.
I don't have children but I do have young brothers and if they asked me to make them a cake, I'd make them a cake. It's a special request and doesn't sound like an every day occurrence.
Do you also get mad if someone in a restaurant orders a high calorie dish and you can't have any because you're on a diet? Sheesh!
Since I made the 1950s comment, I'll assume you are addressing me.
I'm not offended. I'm also not missing the point. No step-parent is obligated to make a kid a cake just because he wants one. Basic Parenting 101. Kids don't always get what they want, regardless of how "nice" it might be to hand them the things they ask for.
And none of us are obligated to do every nice thing that someone else requests.
So you would make your brother a cake. Great for you. I would not make one for my son. Great for me. That doesn't exaggerate or negate any of the other nice or not nice things we do for others throughout our lives.
And although it's totally irrelevant, no, I don't get mad about what other people order in restaurants. And if they asked me to bake them a cake, I'd tell them no also.
Nope, the minute you used "obligated to", "always get what they want", and "hand them the things they ask for", I can see you're still missing the point and refuse to budge from outside the point to see the point.
Have a nice day.
adini749
you are being a bit childish now. It's ok for you to state your opinion and just because MzPix has a differnt opinion you act like a child. Pull it together girl.
Also Adini749. I think you said so yourself that you are not a parent. So what do you know about giving into children's requests to bake cakes?
:laugh: I'm a parent but I have a girl, and she's my biological child, not my stepchild, so what do I know about giving into a stepson's request to bake cakes?:huh:
OP didn't have to give in. If she felt that it was unfair to have to bake a cake that she can't have (which is completely childish), she could have nicely told him that he's welcome to bake a cake on his own.
If her reason was that it's not appropriate (in her home) to bake cakes outside of special occasions, she could have said that.
Instead she acted like a child and told the kid that there would be no cake because she can't have any.
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I heard there was cake here.
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Woah, am I really hearing someone call someone else selfish for not wanting to bake a cake for someone else.
1st world problems honey!
Somehow that would imply that the kid was entitled to sugary sweets and the only good people are those who will bake for others, regardless of the temptations available.
Yes, her losing weight is more important than contributing to future diabetes in the next generation. When I grew up cakes were for special occasions only. it's not something that should be available on whim at any time.
Parents have to say no sometimes. a kids desire for sweets does not outweigh the health concerns of the parent.
Someone having one piece of cake will make them diabetic!?
I just burned at least a couple hundred calories laughing at that gif. Now there's room for cake in my day!:flowerforyou:0 -
This is the most entertaining thread I've read in quite some time... Thank you all for making my day at work go by a little bit faster! I think I'll go make a cake but not let anyone else eat it, now.0
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The OP already answered everyone question. He is 20 years old. She bakes often for him. The cake he wanted is her favorite treat and she will not be able to control herself. He is old enough to take "no" for an answer and not be sensitive. Why should she waste 600 calories because he wants a cake and she knows she can't resist?0
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I do not care how old my son gets. I hope to be making him his favorite foods when he's old and gray (OK, I'll likely be dead at an early age, but let's just pretend not). One of the best memories I'll ever have of my grandma was her hot apple pie and pecan rolls hot out of the oven every single time we'd come to visit... whether I was 6 or 36. It's how some love. And I do the same - show my love by doing little things I know make someone else happy (time, money etc. allowing, naturally). When my son asked me to show him how to roast his own asparagus two nights ago, I quickly set aside the laundry and MFP to show my six year old what I do to that asparagus that he loves so much. I won't let him do it himself yet, but someday, he'll be able to and he'll love that I've shown him how to cook all these years.
However, hopefully I'll still be around to do the little things that make him happy, too, cause that's just fun.
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." And mine... for the record.
NOTE: I'm not insinuating the OP is right or wrong for not making this one cake *LOL* Just general commentary 0
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