Sabotage???
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My 17yr old son had the nerve to ask me for crepes last weekend. I guess I could have told him he will die if he asks again or perhaps asked him to make them himself and show some respect for my need to lose weight, but silly me... I googled a recipe and made them for him. And that little bit I had... wasn't half bad.
Man.. where was my backup to help make him feel like a douche for asking.
This
Next time my son asks I'll take him to the woods and leave him there.0 -
He is 20 years old and could make it himself the issue is if it's in the house I will eat it all. Not that we don't have treats here it's that I don't need to try to fit an extra 600 calories a day in. I didn't mention that he asks me to make cupcakes candy and cookies at least 5 times a day. I have made the cake for him before. But I am just trying to get back on the wagon and the last thing I need is one of my favorite treats staring me in the face everytime I walk in the kitchen.
This comes across as pretty selfish of you. Just because you are on a "diet" doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
Your right just because she is on a diet doesn't mean everyone else has to be. They can make their own food. Just because she is mom doesn't mean she has to be short order cook.
Does it say how old her step son is? What if he is too young to cook?
Ahhh. As per the usual, we get the rest of the "story" further along in the thread that then negates pretty much most of what everyone started to argue about in the first place.
Now I'm out. This is a circus. (apologies if my leaving this thread now gives the impression of being childish :flowerforyou: :drinker: )0 -
i have 5 kids, who are all skinny skinny, or normal skinny. they cannot follow my eating plan, they would waste away! i make them stuff all the time. cake, cupcakes, ice cream smoothies, fruit smoothies... home made chips and salsa... i either don't eat it... ot fit a piece / bite / cup into my daily calories. sure, im not dragging the family out to in n out burger anymore, but im definitely not denying them the good stuff they were used to at home. i don't think its sabotaging, i think it you who needs to be able to have self control to say, ill make it, and i wont eat it... or, ill make it, and ill only have 1 piece...
How dare you try to bring logic and a common sense approach to this discussion? Clearly your kids are villains for even asking anything of you! Don't they know how to use an oven? /sarcasm
Great post! :flowerforyou:
you realize the difference in the posts right? The OP has said she just doesn't trust herself to have the cake in the house. Another person has no problem having cake (or whatever) and either NOT eating it or just having a little. BIG difference.
I don't see why it's difficult for some people to understand that to you CAKE is just cake (or whatever food) but to someone else it's NOT 'just cake'.
What I want to know is how do you know what cake is to me??? I could have eaten every crepe on my sons plate but instead had a bite and ate some cereal. It sucked but it's not his fault I am over weight. And no matter how I feel about it I would NEVER make my son (or step son) feel like an *kitten* for asking then revel when someone joins in and scolds him. That will really foster a solid relationship.0 -
i have 5 kids, who are all skinny skinny, or normal skinny. they cannot follow my eating plan, they would waste away! i make them stuff all the time. cake, cupcakes, ice cream smoothies, fruit smoothies... home made chips and salsa... i either don't eat it... ot fit a piece / bite / cup into my daily calories. sure, im not dragging the family out to in n out burger anymore, but im definitely not denying them the good stuff they were used to at home. i don't think its sabotaging, i think it you who needs to be able to have self control to say, ill make it, and i wont eat it... or, ill make it, and ill only have 1 piece...
How dare you try to bring logic and a common sense approach to this discussion? Clearly your kids are villains for even asking anything of you! Don't they know how to use an oven? /sarcasm
Great post! :flowerforyou:
you realize the difference in the posts right? The OP has said she just doesn't trust herself to have the cake in the house. Another person has no problem having cake (or whatever) and either NOT eating it or just having a little. BIG difference.
I don't see why it's difficult for some people to understand that to you CAKE is just cake (or whatever food) but to someone else it's NOT 'just cake'.
What I want to know is how do you know what cake is to me??? I could have eaten every crepe on my sons plate but instead had a bite and ate some cereal. It sucked but it's not his fault I am over weight. And no matter how I feel about it I would NEVER make my son (or step son) feel like an *kitten* for asking then revel when someone joins in and scolds him. That will really foster a solid relationship.
You're right, I don't know what cake may or may not be to you. I think the OP however has made it perfectly clear that cake is not JUST cake and it's a struggle for her.0 -
Not to tick anybody off here but the comment you wanna die was in a joking tone. He doesn't even raise his voice with any of the 5 kids in the house. It was just nice and very surprising to hear him back me up. It was the first time ever! Not make him a cake just because he asked for it. Especially considering his older brother's birthday is tomorrow and I am already making him a hoho cake. I don't need 2 cakes. I am not on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I eat well and plan for splurges. I keep loads of treats in the house. Why do I need to make a cake for a 20 year old adult at 9 pm when I bought him his favorite ice cream that is still in the freezer, candy bars chips and cookies. I don't need a chocolate cake drowning in caramel and heath bar bits staring me.
What I am saying is I have no willpower right now. I am admitting that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. Why should I put that temptation in my face when there is no need to? I have come up with alternatives for lots of my favorite foods while the rest of my family gets regular treats. I just don't want make any sweets right now. Why is that bad? I am not bad I am not mean and I don't care for my stepson anyless then any other child in this house. But right now I need to take care of me.
^If this had been included in your original post, I think most, if not all, of the replies would have been positive.0 -
This is not sabotage.
If you can't budget for scale now and then, how do you expect to get through this lifestyle change?
And if your son asked for some cake...good lord, don't deny it to him just because YOU don't want any.
This! ^
It's just one cake lol.. If you can't allow yourself even a piece, you're doing this "losing weight thing" wrong. You have to live a little. Just make it and then let him know he can watch you and learn because this is the only one you're making.
I get you though, you don't need the temptation but you CAN allow yourself to eat some junk food, it's not bad to eat this as long as it fits your macros. Don't over-do it of course.0 -
Not to tick anybody off here but the comment you wanna die was in a joking tone. He doesn't even raise his voice with any of the 5 kids in the house. It was just nice and very surprising to hear him back me up. It was the first time ever! Not make him a cake just because he asked for it. Especially considering his older brother's birthday is tomorrow and I am already making him a hoho cake. I don't need 2 cakes. I am not on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I eat well and plan for splurges. I keep loads of treats in the house. Why do I need to make a cake for a 20 year old adult at 9 pm when I bought him his favorite ice cream that is still in the freezer, candy bars chips and cookies. I don't need a chocolate cake drowning in caramel and heath bar bits staring me.
What I am saying is I have no willpower right now. I am admitting that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. Why should I put that temptation in my face when there is no need to? I have come up with alternatives for lots of my favorite foods while the rest of my family gets regular treats. I just don't want make any sweets right now. Why is that bad? I am not bad I am not mean and I don't care for my stepson anyless then any other child in this house. But right now I need to take care of me.
This changes everything.
Too bad it's a few pages too late to prevent the chaos and mayhem that already happened.0 -
From the OP:Not to tick anybody off here but the comment you wanna die was in a joking tone. He doesn't even raise his voice with any of the 5 kids in the house. It was just nice and very surprising to hear him back me up. It was the first time ever! Not make him a cake just because he asked for it. Especially considering his older brother's birthday is tomorrow and I am already making him a hoho cake. I don't need 2 cakes. I am not on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I eat well and plan for splurges. I keep loads of treats in the house. Why do I need to make a cake for a 20 year old adult at 9 pm when I bought him his favorite ice cream that is still in the freezer, candy bars chips and cookies. I don't need a chocolate cake drowning in caramel and heath bar bits staring me.
What I am saying is I have no willpower right now. I am admitting that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. Why should I put that temptation in my face when there is no need to? I have come up with alternatives for lots of my favorite foods while the rest of my family gets regular treats. I just don't want make any sweets right now. Why is that bad? I am not bad I am not mean and I don't care for my stepson anyless then any other child in this house. But right now I need to take care of me.
Thank you for explaining that to us, but really, there is no need to justify your saying "no" to baking a cake.
You could have said "no" for any reason at all and it would have been okay with me.
Making decisions that prioritize your health and goals while acknowledging your limits sounds like a good plan to me.
And there are many ways to show others you care for them that have nothing to do with food (or with making a personal food trigger).
The "get some self control" argument always seems to get thrown into the mix in threads like these. That's a good plan, too. And willpower is like other muscles/habits; it gets stronger with exercise.
But it's a process.
I personally think it's smart to have some coping strategies in place (not making food that you know would be problematic for you, for example) while that self control is growing.
edited for spelling0 -
Surely you can budget for one piece of cake?
Today I was planning on having a 300 calorie toffee sundae. ( mmm ) but I decided to have a can of Irn Bru instead and a Beef Ragu dinner. So the toffee sundae is going on hold till tomorrow.
And there we go. 2 days in a row where I get to have something that I love - because I have budgeted for them!
You need to learn to have a treat here and there. If your going to live your life scared of having cake here and there this new lifestyle will not last.0 -
That's the problem it isn't just one cake I am making one tomorrow for his older brother's birthday. Again why should I make him a cake at 9pm. I haven't bugdeted for it. He can eat the other treats in the house that I bought for him. Rocky road ice cream, twix candy bars, pop tarts, doritos, fudge bars and various types of cookies. Those treats I can deal with. The cake I make tomorrow for his brother will have to be enough for him.This is not sabotage.
If you can't budget for scale now and then, how do you expect to get through this lifestyle change?
And if your son asked for some cake...good lord, don't deny it to him just because YOU don't want any.
This! ^
It's just one cake lol.. If you can't allow yourself even a piece, you're doing this "losing weight thing" wrong. You have to live a little. Just make it and then let him know he can watch you and learn because this is the only one you're making.
I get you though, you don't need the temptation but you CAN allow yourself to eat some junk food, it's not bad to eat this as long as it fits your macros. Don't over-do it of course.0 -
Holy omissions batman! Remind me never to ask OP to order for me at the drive through.0
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That's the problem it isn't just one cake I am making one tomorrow for his older brother's birthday. Again why should I make him a cake at 9pm. I haven't bugdeted for it. He can eat the other treats in the house that I bought for him. Rocky road ice cream, twix candy bars, pop tarts, doritos, fudge bars and various types of cookies. Those treats I can deal with. The cake I make tomorrow for his brother will have to be enough for him.
Does anyone else get the idea the two brothers are snickering while one is saying "I bet I can get her to bake ME a cake on YOUR birthday, while the other one says I BET YOU CAN'T!"
P.S. I just recently baked TWO cakes for a birthday party. That's right TWO. Where's my cape?0 -
Also,
why can't dad make the cake?
HA!
I bake/cook a LOT of things that I either can't fit in my day or simply choose not to eat. If you don't like to make cakes for the fun of it, then have dad make it. (But seriously, I can normally find room for a piece of cake. CAKE FTW)
I have no idea what the OP has to do with "sabotage" though. :ohwell:0 -
lets just bake n eat the damn cake and be done with it.0
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The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.0
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Also,
why can't dad make the cake?
HA!
I bake/cook a LOT of things that I either can't fit in my day or simply choose not to eat. If you don't like to make cakes for the fun of it, then have dad make it. (But seriously, I can normally find room for a piece of cake. CAKE FTW)
I have no idea what the OP has to do with "sabotage" though. :ohwell:
same here. is it that a 20 yr old is sitting around wondering how to knock stepmom off her plan?
unless...
...and even then
<====seems legit. 0 -
The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
which was???
... now she should make a super sized cake and over night each of us a piece who have participated on this board?0 -
My ex wife had never really supported me like that. She kept a closet full of junk food like little debbies, twinkies, pretty much all the refined sugar junk food in the notorious junk food aisle.
For months the only thing that kept me out of the closet (sometimes) was sheer willpower. Because she would not change her habits, our eventual solution was to add a padlock to the closet door that would help me stay out of the junk food closet. She never did change her habits until she had to start a restrictive diet for her gastric bypass surgery (the roux en-Y one, not lap-band). She started losing crazy weight for the first time in her life, but this was not considered abnormal for the gastric bypass patients. She was told it was very common to lose a lot of weight on their restrictions pre-surgery.
What was frustrating was that my view was that she had never seriously attempted lifestyle changes. She ate fast food nearly every day, and stocked high sugar foods in her closet 24/7. All her "fun money" went to fast food.
We both started out severely obese. We were going to support each other in our effort to lose weight and get healthy. I stuck to my resolutions and lost weight and got healthier. She went the other direction and ate worse. It got so bad that at one point she was purposely trying to put on weight so she could qualify for gastric bypass. She was obese, but not quite enough for insurance. So she started bringing home boxes of cheese cake etc to pack on weight to qualify for surgery. It was madness.
We're separated now. But she's had her bypass surgery and lost all the weight. I'm happy for her. I know she hated being hyper obese. I can understand how miserable she felt. My heaviest weight was 318 myself. Believe it or not, I was the one against the idea of surgery. My concern with the surgery was the mal-absorbtion. If she ever needs to take serious medicine for a serious health condition (crohn's disease or cancer) she's going to have serious problems absorbing her medicine. She has two immediate members of her family with crohn's. It is a distinct possibility. After resisting the idea of surgery for a couple years, it became clear that she believed the only way she'd lose weight was through surgery. I relented at that point. If this sounds harsh, I would like to say that her longterm health mattered more to me than her losing weight super fast in a manner that could pose distinct long-term health risks.
At the present time, I have just graduated with a Master's degree and, regrettably (and like 80% of college grads now), had to move back to my mom's house because adjunct teaching pays pretty crappy. My mom stocks big drums of neapolitan ice cream in the garage freezer round-the-clock for her grandchildren. Again, only will power was keeping me out of it (again, only some of the time). The solution for everyone was again my idea of putting a combination padlock on the freezer (to keep me out of it. My brother, who lives down the block, kind of teased me and acted like this solution was a little ridiculous. It is not in any way, and is quite practical. My niece and nephews get to have their daily ice cream after dinner, and I don't have to put up with the temptation to have a bowl myself in the middle of the night (or whenever).
sorry for the tl;dr.0 -
The OP coming back and informing us of additional details has not changed my opinion one iota. Her additional details only further supported what she was saying in the first place. I never made any assumptions about the missing details and I still stand by everything I’ve said all along.
congratulations :indifferent:0 -
Not to tick anybody off here but the comment you wanna die was in a joking tone. He doesn't even raise his voice with any of the 5 kids in the house. It was just nice and very surprising to hear him back me up. It was the first time ever! Not make him a cake just because he asked for it. Especially considering his older brother's birthday is tomorrow and I am already making him a hoho cake. I don't need 2 cakes. I am not on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I eat well and plan for splurges. I keep loads of treats in the house. Why do I need to make a cake for a 20 year old adult at 9 pm when I bought him his favorite ice cream that is still in the freezer, candy bars chips and cookies. I don't need a chocolate cake drowning in caramel and heath bar bits staring me.
What I am saying is I have no willpower right now. I am admitting that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. Why should I put that temptation in my face when there is no need to? I have come up with alternatives for lots of my favorite foods while the rest of my family gets regular treats. I just don't want make any sweets right now. Why is that bad? I am not bad I am not mean and I don't care for my stepson anyless then any other child in this house. But right now I need to take care of me.
^If this had been included in your original post, I think most, if not all, of the replies would have been positive.
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