MFP Personals

kitty_meow_meow_
kitty_meow_meow_ Posts: 3,786 Member
edited November 18 in Chit-Chat
Are you looking for the perfect mfp boyfriend or girlfriend? Look no further! Right here, in this very thread, you may find that special person you've been seeking and find out they've been seeking you! Leave a post and see what wondrous possibilities this mfp menu has to offer. Now keep in mind this post is full of sarcasm and fun, so don't take this seriously. Have fun.


I'll go first: Are you interested in large, manly woman with more than one mustache? If so, I am the woman of your dreams. My rubenesqe stature is similar to that of a baby elephant, and my finest feature is my statuesque nose, which has given me the nickname of "The Stork". I am a one of a kind women, often found to be setting the pace with the latest fashions. No one rocks the king sized sheet moomoo quite like I do! I enjoy eating hot dogs with ketchup, pizza, beer and farting contests. If you are looking to have the rankest night of your life, call me and we can go bowling, and wear each others shoes. Thats romantic, you say? Thats how I roll.
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Replies

  • mechell007
    mechell007 Posts: 97 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    If you are looking for a quiet girl who makes things awkward real quick when she does talk - that's me!

    I'm a horrible liar, and extremely picky, except when I can't make up my mind...then anything goes.

    I couldn't tell you what I'm looking for but I will know it when I see it.

    8uzffi9psubn.gif

    I want a unicorn too!!!
  • _dixiana_
    _dixiana_ Posts: 3,262 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Married single adult male seeking fleeting online discourse and intercourse, of course. Must be highly intelligent, have an impeccable sense of humor, and exceptionally low standards for qualification in a partner. Income class is irrelevant, as are looks and weight. Must have technical skills with audio, video, and photos. Use of curse words for effect encouraged. Must available on demand around my family/work/tennis schedule. Must be discrete and not jealous of my other online flirtatious encounters, but you must be committed. Full set of teeth desired but negotiable. 4K video quality preferred, but HD at a minimum, with at least 8MP cameras. Good sound quality 48K is a must.

    Please apply within.

    Must epitomize the word moist.

    Someone has really thought this out :D
    I think where you're gonna run into a hiccup is the no jealousy bit. You know how chicks are.
  • crushingitdaily12345
    crushingitdaily12345 Posts: 577 Member
    edited May 2017
    I just love making new friends... I am a great listener... and like the guy above, I have a great beard. ;) Send me a message, and/or a friend request... no one will be denied. ;)
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    i'm the male version of you.. except I don't want a unicorn
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    If you are looking for a quiet girl who makes things awkward real quick when she does talk - that's me!




    I'm a horrible liar, and extremely picky, except when I can't make up my mind...then anything goes.

    I couldn't tell you what I'm looking for but I will know it when I see it.

    8uzffi9psubn.gif

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  • crushingitdaily12345
    crushingitdaily12345 Posts: 577 Member
    _notorious_ wrote: »
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    if you're married, and you'd like to strengthen your relationship with your spouse (after a significant period of making them think something is wrong and driving them insane with paranoia and dread as you suddenly start keeping your phone face down and general sneakiness), then look no further!

    some of the perks you'll get:
    will tell you that you are pretty (and mean it!). won't get jealous. won't kiss and tell. won't really care about you or your problems with any regularity. will often ignore you for extended periods of time. will message you specifically when it's date night. will send the best memes and make you laugh.

    What he said.

    Only I have boobs.

    I like boobs... just sayin...
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  • mechell007
    mechell007 Posts: 97 Member
    kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »
    Are you in to beards? Well I'm the woman for you because I have one! Come spend some cuddly nights braiding my beard and watching THe Facts of Life reruns with me in my sleeping bag out in the back lot of the WalMart.

    I mean, who could pass up such a catch?!
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  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    I spend every other Friday at Walmart and have 10 (well, 9 now cause I ate one) pints of Halo Top in my freezer. Plus, who could resist this sword and eye patch?
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    edited May 2017
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Married single adult male seeking fleeting online discourse and intercourse, of course. Must be highly intelligent, have an impeccable sense of humor, and exceptionally low standards for qualification in a partner. Income class is irrelevant, as are looks and weight. Must have technical skills with audio, video, and photos. Use of curse words for effect encouraged. Must available on demand around my family/work/tennis schedule. Must be discrete and not jealous of my other online flirtatious encounters, but you must be committed. Full set of teeth desired but negotiable. 4K video quality preferred, but HD at a minimum, with at least 8MP cameras. Good sound quality 48K is a must.

    Please apply within.

    Must epitomize the word moist.

    Prepare for your inbox to be FLOODED.

    Except for the teeth thing.
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  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    JLAJ81 wrote: »
    I'm not much to look at but I make 12k a year and share a car with my neighbor. Can I borrow some money?

    How much do you need?
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  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    LAWoman72 wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Married single adult male seeking fleeting online discourse and intercourse, of course. Must be highly intelligent, have an impeccable sense of humor, and exceptionally low standards for qualification in a partner. Income class is irrelevant, as are looks and weight. Must have technical skills with audio, video, and photos. Use of curse words for effect encouraged. Must available on demand around my family/work/tennis schedule. Must be discrete and not jealous of my other online flirtatious encounters, but you must be committed. Full set of teeth desired but negotiable. 4K video quality preferred, but HD at a minimum, with at least 8MP cameras. Good sound quality 48K is a must.

    Please apply within.

    Must epitomize the word moist.

    Prepare for your inbox to be FLOODED.

    Except for the teeth thing.

    I would have responded but I have no technical skills with audio, video, or photos. :cry:
This discussion has been closed.

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