MFP Personals
Replies
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bufnitzoiu wrote: »If you want a fat *kitten*, who likes beer, tells sexist jokes, likes to hang out with his friends, loves his bikes more than you, and is most likely to get you fat because i like cooking i'm your man:))))))
Are your friends cute too?
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Looking for a man who ain't gunna make me hurt him ..who doesn't mind a little instability in his woman ..
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Bodysnatching vixen seeking a man who can put it on her like a poptart, cook like Paula Dean, and tell her she's pretty when she sweats like a cow in labor at the gym.
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Married single adult male seeking fleeting online discourse and intercourse, of course. Must be highly intelligent, have an impeccable sense of humor, and exceptionally low standards for qualification in a partner. Income class is irrelevant, as are looks and weight. Must have technical skills with audio, video, and photos. Use of curse words for effect encouraged. Must available on demand around my family/work/tennis schedule. Must be discrete and not jealous of my other online flirtatious encounters, but you must be committed. Full set of teeth desired but negotiable. 4K video quality preferred, but HD at a minimum, with at least 8MP cameras. Good sound quality 48K is a must.
Please apply within.
Must epitomize the word moist.
You had me at 'moist'...0 -
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »bufnitzoiu wrote: »If you want a fat *kitten*, who likes beer, tells sexist jokes, likes to hang out with his friends, loves his bikes more than you, and is most likely to get you fat because i like cooking i'm your man:))))))
Are your friends cute too? ..
They are, you can come over at my house to meet them:D1 -
bufnitzoiu wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »bufnitzoiu wrote: »If you want a fat *kitten*, who likes beer, tells sexist jokes, likes to hang out with his friends, loves his bikes more than you, and is most likely to get you fat because i like cooking i'm your man:))))))
Are your friends cute too? ..
They are, you can come over at my house to meet them:D
Pssst, they're imaginary...1 -
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kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Looking for a regular repeat date every Friday evening. Please bring pizza, hand it to me, then go home. Maybe I'll give you a tip if its hot. Just the tip though.
Let's play a game called just the tip...0 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Looking for a regular repeat date every Friday evening. Please bring pizza, hand it to me, then go home. Maybe I'll give you a tip if its hot. Just the tip though.
I'm looking for a Man Friday myself
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My name is Michael. I am an extraordinarily average guy living am everyday AMAZING life. I have been many people over it and I am very happy with who I have become and where I am now. I am seeking a kindred spirit to live out my days with. A friend, a confidant, and a lover. I am lighthearted, easy going, and humor and laughter are daily medicines. I am not a typical man and have no need to prove anything, be some prideful alpha, or try to impress people with forced machismo. I want someone to accept me for who I am, not to change me to who they think I should be or some fantasy they have had all their life. I don't need anyone to complete me in any way, but I am looking for someone to compliment my life. I am not an amazing lover or hung like a porn star, famous like a rock star, or rich. I am not a sugar daddy, I don't want a trophy wife, or a person who doesn't have a career or some endeavor in life they work at for fulfillment. I am very easy going and don't need "things", but look to gain experiences and connections.
Must be willing to travel, and travel light with no plan except to go.
I focus on earth where I reside to keep me grounded, but keep an eye to the stars to remind me there is more. We both should believe in a balance between mind, body, and spirit. With that, being active and positive is also a must (I haven't watched a TV series since MASH and I wouldn't fit well with you if that is important or something you give a lot of time to). I am a reader and a thinker, so if you can stimulate my mind you will have captured ever part of me.
I want someone honest. I want someone I can trust who is faithful. I want someone who sees me - the real me - and that is who they fall for. That is exactly what I am offering and what I look for too.
Must be able to tolerate my positive attitude and my judicious use of the word AMAZING.
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My name is Michael. I am an extraordinarily average guy living am everyday AMAZING life. I have been many people over it and I am very happy with who I have become and where I am now. I am seeking a kindred spirit to live out my days with. A friend, a confidant, and a lover. I am lighthearted, easy going, and humor and laughter are daily medicines. I am not a typical man and have no need to prove anything, be some prideful alpha, or try to impress people with forced machismo. I want someone to accept me for who I am, not to change me to who they think I should be or some fantasy they have had all their life. I don't need anyone to complete me in any way, but I am looking for someone to compliment my life. I am not an amazing lover or hung like a porn star, famous like a rock star, or rich. I am not a sugar daddy, I don't want a trophy wife, or a person who doesn't have a career or some endeavor in life they work at for fulfillment. I am very easy going and don't need "things", but look to gain experiences and connections.
Must be willing to travel, and travel light with no plan except to go.
I focus on earth where I reside to keep me grounded, but keep an eye to the stars to remind me there is more. We both should believe in a balance between mind, body, and spirit. With that, being active and positive is also a must (I haven't watched a TV series since MASH and I wouldn't fit well with you if that is important or something you give a lot of time to). I am a reader and a thinker, so if you can stimulate my mind you will have captured ever part of me.
I want someone honest. I want someone I can trust who is faithful. I want someone who sees me - the real me - and that is who they fall for. That is exactly what I am offering and what I look for too.
Must be able to tolerate my positive attitude and my judicious use of the word AMAZING.
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My name is Michael. I am an extraordinarily average guy living am everyday AMAZING life. I have been many people over it and I am very happy with who I have become and where I am now. I am seeking a kindred spirit to live out my days with. A friend, a confidant, and a lover. I am lighthearted, easy going, and humor and laughter are daily medicines. I am not a typical man and have no need to prove anything, be some prideful alpha, or try to impress people with forced machismo. I want someone to accept me for who I am, not to change me to who they think I should be or some fantasy they have had all their life. I don't need anyone to complete me in any way, but I am looking for someone to compliment my life. I am not an amazing lover or hung like a porn star, famous like a rock star, or rich. I am not a sugar daddy, I don't want a trophy wife, or a person who doesn't have a career or some endeavor in life they work at for fulfillment. I am very easy going and don't need "things", but look to gain experiences and connections.
Must be willing to travel, and travel light with no plan except to go.
I focus on earth where I reside to keep me grounded, but keep an eye to the stars to remind me there is more. We both should believe in a balance between mind, body, and spirit. With that, being active and positive is also a must (I haven't watched a TV series since MASH and I wouldn't fit well with you if that is important or something you give a lot of time to). I am a reader and a thinker, so if you can stimulate my mind you will have captured ever part of me.
I want someone honest. I want someone I can trust who is faithful. I want someone who sees me - the real me - and that is who they fall for. That is exactly what I am offering and what I look for too.
Must be able to tolerate my positive attitude and my judicious use of the word AMAZING.
Would our first date include drinking tea and knitting fresh, new beanies?1 -
LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »My name is Michael. I am an extraordinarily average guy living am everyday AMAZING life. I have been many people over it and I am very happy with who I have become and where I am now. I am seeking a kindred spirit to live out my days with. A friend, a confidant, and a lover. I am lighthearted, easy going, and humor and laughter are daily medicines. I am not a typical man and have no need to prove anything, be some prideful alpha, or try to impress people with forced machismo. I want someone to accept me for who I am, not to change me to who they think I should be or some fantasy they have had all their life. I don't need anyone to complete me in any way, but I am looking for someone to compliment my life. I am not an amazing lover or hung like a porn star, famous like a rock star, or rich. I am not a sugar daddy, I don't want a trophy wife, or a person who doesn't have a career or some endeavor in life they work at for fulfillment. I am very easy going and don't need "things", but look to gain experiences and connections.
Must be willing to travel, and travel light with no plan except to go.
I focus on earth where I reside to keep me grounded, but keep an eye to the stars to remind me there is more. We both should believe in a balance between mind, body, and spirit. With that, being active and positive is also a must (I haven't watched a TV series since MASH and I wouldn't fit well with you if that is important or something you give a lot of time to). I am a reader and a thinker, so if you can stimulate my mind you will have captured ever part of me.
I want someone honest. I want someone I can trust who is faithful. I want someone who sees me - the real me - and that is who they fall for. That is exactly what I am offering and what I look for too.
Must be able to tolerate my positive attitude and my judicious use of the word AMAZING.
Would our first date include drinking tea and knitting fresh, new beanies?
I thought braiding underarm hair was more first date material, but i like beanies.1 -
LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »My name is Michael. I am an extraordinarily average guy living am everyday AMAZING life. I have been many people over it and I am very happy with who I have become and where I am now. I am seeking a kindred spirit to live out my days with. A friend, a confidant, and a lover. I am lighthearted, easy going, and humor and laughter are daily medicines. I am not a typical man and have no need to prove anything, be some prideful alpha, or try to impress people with forced machismo. I want someone to accept me for who I am, not to change me to who they think I should be or some fantasy they have had all their life. I don't need anyone to complete me in any way, but I am looking for someone to compliment my life. I am not an amazing lover or hung like a porn star, famous like a rock star, or rich. I am not a sugar daddy, I don't want a trophy wife, or a person who doesn't have a career or some endeavor in life they work at for fulfillment. I am very easy going and don't need "things", but look to gain experiences and connections.
Must be willing to travel, and travel light with no plan except to go.
I focus on earth where I reside to keep me grounded, but keep an eye to the stars to remind me there is more. We both should believe in a balance between mind, body, and spirit. With that, being active and positive is also a must (I haven't watched a TV series since MASH and I wouldn't fit well with you if that is important or something you give a lot of time to). I am a reader and a thinker, so if you can stimulate my mind you will have captured ever part of me.
I want someone honest. I want someone I can trust who is faithful. I want someone who sees me - the real me - and that is who they fall for. That is exactly what I am offering and what I look for too.
Must be able to tolerate my positive attitude and my judicious use of the word AMAZING.
Would our first date include drinking tea and knitting fresh, new beanies?
I thought braiding underarm hair was more first date material, but i like beanies.
I was pretty excited when mine got long enough to braid0 -
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Avocado_Angel wrote: »Sleazy sex kitten with daddy issues, just looking for the right man to come along. I love making sammiches, cleaning and doing laundry, I should mention I like doing chores while in the nude (hope that doesn't put anyone off) I can sit and wistfully listen to all your problems (don't worry about my problems I don't have any)
Sold! 2 -
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OutOfUserName wrote: »whoa is this serious?
Is it?0 -
Man the fun I miss while I'm actually doing work. Damn you work for *kitten* up my play time. LOL0
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Are you so sick of disappointment that you’ve lowered your expectations into nonexistence?! Rest assured, I will still find a way to be inadequate!
Skills include: Making a mockery of mediocrity. Defining the lower end of the bell curve. Looking like a bell curve.
Rave reviews from past relationships:
“Who?” – my high school girlfriend who took me years to get over
“Ugh.” – the girl I dated in my twenties who tried very hard to believe in me
“Go. Away.” – my first wife.
Does this sound attractive to you? ME NEITHER! Let’s hate me TOGETHER!
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Seeking someone to roll with me while I reevaluate life. Could lead to meaningless crazy sex and mood swings. Apply by sending noodz.1
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AlistairBernardNormal wrote: »Are you so sick of disappointment that you’ve lowered your expectations into nonexistence?! Rest assured, I will still find a way to be inadequate!
Skills include: Making a mockery of mediocrity. Defining the lower end of the bell curve. Looking like a bell curve.
Rave reviews from past relationships:
“Who?” – my high school girlfriend who took me years to get over
“Ugh.” – the girl I dated in my twenties who tried very hard to believe in me
“Go. Away.” – my first wife.
Does this sound attractive to you? ME NEITHER! Let’s hate me TOGETHER!
PMSL!
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This discussion has been closed.
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