MFP Personals
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Married single adult male seeking fleeting online discourse and intercourse, of course. Must be highly intelligent, have an impeccable sense of humor, and exceptionally low standards for qualification in a partner. Income class is irrelevant, as are looks and weight. Must have technical skills with audio, video, and photos. Use of curse words for effect encouraged. Must available on demand around my family/work/tennis schedule. Must be discrete and not jealous of my other online flirtatious encounters, but you must be committed. Full set of teeth desired but negotiable. 4K video quality preferred, but HD at a minimum, with at least 8MP cameras. Good sound quality 48K is a must.
Please apply within.
Must epitomize the word moist.
Prepare for your inbox to be FLOODED.
Except for the teeth thing.
I would have responded but I have no technical skills with audio, video, or photos.
I'm in love0 -
I'm 42, unemployed. And I have elbows.7
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itsy_bitsy_spider wrote: »
Oh yes my fridge! It's an adventure!1 -
Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
If I stop by Sonic on the way, do I at least get some of that pizza?0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
If I stop by Sonic on the way, do I at least get some of that pizza?
I'll give you two pepperonis.0 -
If you're looking for a gal that cusses like a sailor but keeps the language clean around parents, loves football with a passion, and has her own set of handcuffs, let me get my neighbor for ya
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If you're looking for someone who will argue you to death over feminist philosophy and has an inordinate love of cats, look no further. I sing opera, but won't sing for you unless you pay me. I like a good scotch and will probably steal yours. Must have a good libido and I don't really care how tall you are. If you bring me an a/c unit for my hot as balls apartment, I'm yours forever.7
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I am seeking friends only... but I love to talk... friend me if you want a funny, smart, intellectually stimulating friend.
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If you're looking for someone who is likely more masculine than you, there's a bar in D.C. That has just that clientele on Friday nights. They come complete with large fake breasts and a 5o'clock shadow.1
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OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
do you have pineapple and ham?
Bring the shake and then we'll talk.
P. S. Pineapple is my safeword.3 -
LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »If you're looking for someone who will argue you to death over feminist philosophy and has an inordinate love of cats, look no further. I sing opera, but won't sing for you unless you pay me. I like a good scotch and will probably steal yours. Must have a good libido and I don't really care how tall you are. If you bring me an a/c unit for my hot as balls apartment, I'm yours forever.
This is actually pretty good. (if you were being serious)
*kitten* cats though.
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Seeking money. Method to obtain irrelevant0
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LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »If you're looking for someone who will argue you to death over feminist philosophy and has an inordinate love of cats, look no further. I sing opera, but won't sing for you unless you pay me. I like a good scotch and will probably steal yours. Must have a good libido and I don't really care how tall you are. If you bring me an a/c unit for my hot as balls apartment, I'm yours forever.
I can take everything but the cats. And don't even f'in touch my scotch without an invitation.1 -
ClubSilencio wrote: »LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »If you're looking for someone who will argue you to death over feminist philosophy and has an inordinate love of cats, look no further. I sing opera, but won't sing for you unless you pay me. I like a good scotch and will probably steal yours. Must have a good libido and I don't really care how tall you are. If you bring me an a/c unit for my hot as balls apartment, I'm yours forever.
This is actually pretty good. (if you were being serious)
*kitten* cats though.
Why thank you. Only *half* serious though
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I can do State 48 for sure. Beers are decent, but food is fantastic and the patio is chill.1 -
I don't see any matches yet.
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OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Current relationship status:pizza
If you want to change that, bring me a peanut butter banana shake
do you have pineapple and ham?
Bring the shake and then we'll talk.
P. S. Pineapple is my safeword.
small medium or large?
Large, of course! Go big or go home.0 -
I agree. Good but not great. They're still in their infancy so hopefully things will improve in that department.
Exactly my thought. They are almost like new brewer beers. Not as novice as home kit beers, but you drink them and go, "It's good" and that's about it.
I will let ya know when I'll be up there. I am old so I don't do much after midnight except already be home sleeping, but we'll figger it out.1 -
I'm willing to share my cereal with you....possibly....I don't know actually I really need to think about this9
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Married single adult male seeking fleeting online discourse and intercourse, of course. Must be highly intelligent, have an impeccable sense of humor, and exceptionally low standards for qualification in a partner. Income class is irrelevant, as are looks and weight. Must have technical skills with audio, video, and photos. Use of curse words for effect encouraged. Must available on demand around my family/work/tennis schedule. Must be discrete and not jealous of my other online flirtatious encounters, but you must be committed. Full set of teeth desired but negotiable. 4K video quality preferred, but HD at a minimum, with at least 8MP cameras. Good sound quality 48K is a must.
Please apply within.
Must epitomize the word moist.
I can't decide if this super funny or creepy for how much thought you put into it...
I'll go with funny1
This discussion has been closed.
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