How disgusting is this...

Mgregory723

BUMP....must read this!

totalsham

As for the OP, I have to say and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but I would not respond positively to you were you my healthcare provider. I have had physicians and nurses in the past who I knew were disgusted by me. They didn't have to outright say it but it was evident in the manner in which they provided care. All it did was make me more resentful and determined to rebel. Some people may respond positively to that sort of treatment but I do not. I don't want anyone making excuses for me or to even letme make excuses for myself . But I can appreciate and receive constructive feedback delivered without judgement. That is why I get along much better with my nurse than my nutritionist. And just because I've lost almost 100 lbs I don't feel that gives me license to to look down on other people who are at a different point in their journey or have yet to start. Just something to consider as you will most likely have patients who cover a wide spectrum in the level of care they need and respond to.

yes... cause posting on a forum = how one gives quality of pt care.

elleloch

I find it sad. I read this article yesterday before I saw it posted here.

I am all about loving your body and accepting yourself, but truly? This woman isn't healthy. She just sounds like she is offering up excuses for her obesity and eff the world because she is doing what she wants. Fine. But it's rather stupid to choose to be unhealthy.

I agreed with the notion that you don't have to be a size 0 or have a specific body to be healthy, so she needs to get that mindset corrected. She also probably was hungry all the time when she was a size 12 because she was doing it wrong. I have never been hungry while losing weight, I was eating all the damn time. And yeah - fad diets? Definitely miserable.

I understand that it's probably annoying as hell to listen to advice from those terrible thin doctors and therapists and whatnot, but she's 250 pounds, and they're telling her it isn't healthy. She had a bad childhood and didn't get enough hugs as a kid? Big fricken woop. She's in therapy to address her issues but refuses to deal with a symptom of her issues - that symptom being her poor health.

Maybe disgusting isn't the right word. But I did not like the article. It was sad, and her views are honestly quite naive.

gigglybeth

*She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.

But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.

She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.

She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.

It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.

I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...

I agree. I also didn't really like the tone in the section about people on weight loss shows recounting the moment they knew they had to lose weight. It's a misconception that change comes in these huge lightning bolt moments, where the clouds open up, the angels sing, and enlightenment strikes. For me, the most meaningful moments that inspired change were everyday things that, for whatever reason, struck me differently that one time.

She also is going on about how she wishes the entirety of their lives weren't reduced to a single achievement, but she's using the example of weight loss TV shows. They aren't going to do a segment on the 5 orphans s/he saved in a house fire when the whole point of the show is weight loss.

I've gained and lost 500,000 pounds (rough approximate) in my life and the thing is, once it's off for a while, people stop mentioning it and move on to something else. Society in general has a very short attention span and most people are concerned with themselves more then anyone else. "Hey you look great, how do I look?" sort of thing.

Railr0aderTony

Having been fat (read: morbidly obese) almost all of my life, there comes a time when you can truly accept that your fat, you can embrace it and not let it bother you. I was at that place.

The ONLY reason I ever started to lose weight was because of a statement I made to my wife when I got tired of the fad diets and other fleeting fitness things she was doing while crying about her weight and how difficult it was to cook her "healthy" food and then something totally different for me. I told her to eat real food, get off her butt and do something real and to stop with the 10 minute this or 5 minutes that "exercises" and when she actually did that..I would join her and support her. I know, I know...dangerous ground saying something like that, but I was fine with my fat, she wasn't fine with hers...but there comes a time when you need to put up or shut up.

Last year she decided to put up and holding true to my word...here I am.

Having said all of that, I can say this, if someone chooses to be fat, that's entirely up to them. I was "healthy" fat, my blood pressure was always fine according to my doc, my blood work normally came back fine...except for that time when I was scarfing down Little Debbie Doubledecker Oatmeal Creme Pies and Chocolate milk 2-3 times a day along with 2+ Rt. 44 Cherry Cokes from Sonic per day...blood sugar got a little outta hand, but once that was toned back, I was fine again. At 41 yrs old, my blood work and physical came back fine.

I never let my weight stop me from doing anything or going anywhere so at the time it wasn't that big of a deal for me.

I'm here now because I'm a firm believer of finishing what you start. I started down this road as a way to encourage and support my wife, and now it's become a goal for me. Do I "feel" better now...honestly, not really. There's no big major change in energy or whatever...I can, however, run a little and I do have a whole lot more endurance that I ever had before, I can walk further and faster, but on the regular day to day...can't really tell a difference. I do look better, and I like where this is going, and I'm glad of this choice...but if I had never said that to my wife, I wouldn't be here.

Losing weight is a personal choice and we can talk about it and talk about it...heaven knows our "friends" and family will talk enough for all of us about how we'll "feel" if we lose weight and how much healthier and blah blah blah...bottom line though, if we don't like ourselves fat, we won't like ourselves thin or "healthy" or athletic or whatever. If we can't get past that mental block of appreciating who we are and not just what we look like, then the road will be much harder and longer and most of the time, will end in failure...which just adds to the self hate. If we like ourselves fat, and allow ourselves to accept us for who we are, when the time comes (if it ever does) that we are actually ready to take on the challenge of weight loss, we have a better chance of succeeding...but that's all personal choice and timing.

TL;DR: Fat people can be healthy and happy. You can't succeed at weight loss until you WANT to and are ready to.

Random gif time because this has been just too serious:

Amen

Valarama

how is she disgusting? sounds to me like you're fat shaming her.
just because other people hate their fat bodies, doesn't mean everyone has to hate their fat bodies.
good on her for loving herself.

lilbearzmom

I kind of agree w/ OP. I was and am still considered obese after losing over 100 lbs. She's kidding herself. She's extremely unhappy. Obese people wear their feelings, literally, in the form of excess fat. I know.

Jersey_Devil

I don't have the patience to read the article, but I'll assume its not disgusting based on the replies.

kgerm317

*She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.

But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.

She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.

She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.

It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.

I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...

Yes. This exactly.

vienna_h

its the same as someone who is anorexic. its horrible what they are doing to themselves and its likely the result of some mental disorder.

we should look on these people with sadness and try to get them help.

I also just felt sad reading this, This woman obviously has some serious issues, she sounds like she is depressed. Even if it's "her choice", it doesn't mean its the right choice or she's doing it for the "right" reasons. She needs help, and she is refusing to be helped by convincing herself she is in control of her life by staying obese. It's a harmful defense mechanism, similar to hiding behind a drug addiction.

rowanwood

I'll tell you what I think is disgusting about it:

-She's blaming her weight on her past
-She's saying that other people's expectations have led her not to want to lose weight (doctors who worry about her health, a lady on the street while she's out walking)
-She's visibly insecure, but saying she has a right to be that way
-She's playing with her life in an effort to "make a point," to who?
-She's being irresponsible
-She is not addressing her mental health issues and seeing that they may be resolved by making a large change in her life: therapy, weight loss, feeling good about herself.
-She isn't TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER LIFE, SHE'S BLAMING EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE: Her past, her doctors, the fact that she has to overeat. There's a point in life when you have to realize that you're the one who has to make the change and stop justifying everything!

That's what I find disgusting...

truth!

But that's NOT disgusting. That's very sad. It's tragic. It's likely a need for further mental and emotional work, but its not an excuse to use such a loaded word to describe a human being, now matter how you dress it up.

JanetP124

this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!

(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)

agreed! I don't understand how you can read something like that and only come away with "it's disgusting."

Did you actually read the article? She is mentally ill, and the obesity is a side effect of what she is going through. it is sad and disturbing. It is also disturbing how many people agree with what she is saying. There is help available, when they are ready to accept it. It's not about the weight as much as the mentality.

What I think is disgusting that she is propagating this unhealthy outlook on life and health.

It's not that I disagree with you - I think she is ill, both mentally and physically. Her writing screams with it ... she rants about her medical staff only seeing her as a "problem" while ignoring her accomplishments and knowledge yet she also makes sure to interject her physical descriptions of them (various forms of skinny) into nearly every paragraph.

I fully understand why her first therapist insisted that she address her weight issues. She is turning to the cheapest and most widely available anti-depressant available as a means to cope with her trauma. It isn't a solution or healthy. She's using food, others use alcohol themselves, or narcotics, or bulimia or cutting or any number of destructive behaviors. A good health professional will attempt to address all of them.

But all that said do I find her disgusting? No. I wish her well and I hope she finds peace.

AEMW8

Whatever happened to 'judge not lest ye be judged'?

k_winder

The book is selling disinformation to dieters that don't want to take responsibility for their bad decisions. They don't have an innate genetic disposition to be hungrier than others. Their continued overeating has changed their urge to eat (google epigenetics if you want to learn more). So technically they do have more urges to eat, but that's only because they have consistently overate throughout their life. Habits, good and bad are formed and can be undone. She just doesnt want to.

I just looked through the author's other articles and saw one called "My best relationship is with my dog". I'm not surprised.

Are you serious? The only reason someone overeats is because they overate in the past?

You seriously need to get your head out of your butt and take a look around. There are a lot of reasons people overeat, and for some it has no connection to creating a habit of overeating. There are serious hormonal imbalances that turn off the signaling that tells someone they are full and others which can make a person feel very hungry all the time. Could this author have one of these imbalances? It's possible. I'm not saying it's likely....but it's possible. I really don't think ANY of us here are in a position where we should be judging her or her decisions as 'disgusting' when we don't have much of any information to go off of.

And kudos to the author of this essay for at least being comfortable in her own skin and accepting herself as she is. I think that's far healthier than a lot of the people I've seen on these boards who complain about how fat and ugly they are and how no one will love them while they're fat and ugly. Yes, we may all have issues with what we weigh, etc. but tearing ourselves down with harsh language is very damaging and I wish I saw more people like this author who can at least accept where they are in life now.

That's not to say I don't think this person should make changes - she should. But she needs to do it on her own terms in her own time and she needs to figure out WHY it's best for her without being called disgusting by people who don't even know her and think it's ok to pass rude judgement on anyone they disagree with.

totalsham

The book is selling disinformation to dieters that don't want to take responsibility for their bad decisions. They don't have an innate genetic disposition to be hungrier than others. Their continued overeating has changed their urge to eat (google epigenetics if you want to learn more). So technically they do have more urges to eat, but that's only because they have consistently overate throughout their life. Habits, good and bad are formed and can be undone. She just doesnt want to.

I just looked through the author's other articles and saw one called "My best relationship is with my dog". I'm not surprised.

Are you serious? The only reason someone overeats is because they overate in the past?

You seriously need to get your head out of your butt and take a look around. There are a lot of reasons people overeat, and for some it has no connection to creating a habit of overeating. There are serious hormonal imbalances that turn off the signaling that tells someone they are full and others which can make a person feel very hungry all the time. Could this author have one of these imbalances? It's possible. I'm not saying it's likely....but it's possible. I really don't think ANY of us here are in a position where we should be judging her or her decisions as 'disgusting' when we don't have much of any information to go off of.

someone didnt google epigenetics

_AllieCat_

I think that she really means is that her weight doesn't define her as a person but everyone chooses to see her as a person who needs to lose weight period.

This was the point of the article. I don't see why everyone has their panties in a bunch.

MissTattoo

I think it's sad. It's not like she's choosing to eat Taco Bell several times a day to gain weight. She sounds like she is just broken because of the process. She's right. All you hear are stories about how "I went from a size 24 to a size 2!" with before and after photos, but that's it. NO one talks about the struggle to get to 24 to 22 to 20 to 18 back to 22.

Obviously she knows she has issues. She's in therapy. She hit the nail on the head. She wants doctors who are concerned about her blood work. I'm obese and have perfect labs. My weight isn't causing any problems...yet. And I' m not naive enough to believe that I can be like this forever. Maybe she will get it one day. We all have our IT moments. MAybe she hasn't had that yet. Maybe she's still messed up from her childhood.

Disgusting? no. I wouldn't say she is disgusting. I guess it's easy for someone who has never been in her situation to say that.

She needs to be okay with herself first before she begins to change. She needs to be able to forgive her mother and father. She needs to be able to just come to terms. She doesn't need a quick solution or magic pill. She just needs her IT moment.

ironanimal

Wild Wall of Text Appears!
Wall of Text uses Judgement!
It's super effective!
Critical Hit!

...

You black out!

In all seriousness, I think she's misguided, naive, ignorant even... but disgusting? No. Disgusting would be forcing her unhealthy ideals on other people.

magoshi

Way to judge her, the same way she talks about other people judging her. So lame. Big deal. Let her choose her own destiny. It's not our life to judge or be 'disgusted' by. What is disgusting is how judgemental someone can be on a weightloss/fitness website -- and sad.