How disgusting is this...

mandasalem

Weight gain is common for those who have experienced traumatic experiences.

Like verbal abuse. Abuse by words. Which she did, in fact, mention in her article. Her dad calling her clumsy, and stupid, etc.

She's not dealing with her ****, and she's justifying her bad behavior as being a self-esteem thing.

Because the rest of the world is telling her she's disgusting.

So no... words didnt like disgusting didn't put her in the situation she is on. Childhood exp's

Like abuse, which was physical and, based on her article, verbal and emotional.

and ****ty choices based off of her past

Her past, which includes hurtful words...

have. Words had no role in it.

If you say so.

soldier4242

there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

smh....

cause thats what medical providers do????

its what you did. your first reaction was that she is disgusting and then you posted it. And I was replying to the post about a doctor being honest. They were saying that telling someone they are disgusting is honest and what a doctor should do. I was disagreeing with it.

You have to got to learn how to separate forum speak from real life. Sure he typed "How disgusting is this..." as he thread title but that does not mean that he would say that to a patient in his room. The post I was responding to was talking about the importance of empathy for medical professionals.

While I think a degree of empathy is necessary to have any sort of productive conversation with another person, I do not think that it is so important that bad decisions should be protected. If she was in the office with me or any other medical profession and she were to tell some story like the one she wrote here the response should boil down to "that is a horrible idea" no matter how it is worded.

KatLifter

Weight gain is common for those who have experienced traumatic experiences.

Like verbal abuse. Abuse by words. Which she did, in fact, mention in her article. Her dad calling her clumsy, and stupid, etc.

She's not dealing with her ****, and she's justifying her bad behavior as being a self-esteem thing.

Because the rest of the world is telling her she's disgusting.

So no... words didnt like disgusting didn't put her in the situation she is on. Childhood exp's

Like abuse, which was physical and, based on her article, verbal and emotional.

and ****ty choices based off of her past

Her past, which includes hurtful words...

have. Words had no role in it.

If you say so.

*I disagree with someone on the internet

mandasalem

*I disagree with someone on the internet

Sorry, but I think it's important on a site where people are struggling with weight, eating disorders, and self-image, to try and foster some kind of understanding about how important-- and hurtful-- words really can be.

If that makes me a stubborn internet stereotype, fine, but here more than anywhere, I think the point I'm making is actually important.

Rage_Phish

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

UsedToBeHusky

*I disagree with someone on the internet

Sorry, but I think it's important on a site where people are struggling with weight, eating disorders, and self-image, to try and foster some kind of understanding about how important-- and hurtful-- words really can be.

If that makes me a stubborn internet stereotype, fine, but here more than anywhere, I think the point I'm making is actually important.

So what your saying is describing the author's self-destructive behavior as "disgusting" is somehow wrong and attributing to her problem.

If she weren't obese and "okay with it", if she had any other mental illness, you would be appalled that she is making excuses for not getting treatment for it. What if she were bipolar and recognized herself as bipolar, but decided that she shouldn't have to get treatment for it because that's just a part of who she is.

Or what if she were an alcoholic and recognized that she were an alcoholic, but refused to get treatment for it because society says she is an alcoholic when she is just comfortable with her level of alcohol consumption?

The reality is no one is going to motivate her to address her eating disorder, but herself. Just like no one caused her to develop her eating disorder, but herself.

While you point fingers at his attitude for attributing to this woman's mental health (obviously not directly since he doesn't know her personally), your attitude is what is enabling this woman to think that the choice she has made for herself is a healthy and positive one.

tlsegar

there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

smh....

cause thats what medical providers do????

its what you did. your first reaction was that she is disgusting and then you posted it. And I was replying to the post about a doctor being honest. They were saying that telling someone they are disgusting is honest and what a doctor should do. I was disagreeing with it.

You have to got to learn how to separate forum speak from real life. Sure he typed "How disgusting is this..." as he thread title but that does not mean that he would say that to a patient in his room. The post I was responding to was talking about the importance of empathy for medical professionals.

While I think a degree of empathy is necessary to have any sort of productive conversation with another person, I do not think that it is so important that bad decisions should be protected. If she was in the office with me or any other medical profession and she were to tell some story like the one she wrote here the response should boil down to "that is a horrible idea" no matter how it is worded.

He wouldn't have to say it to the patient in the room. The judgement and disgust would come through loud and clear.

rml_16

OP, you're training to be a PA? I feel sorry for your patients. Empathy is an important quality in a health care professional.

Personally I would my my PA to be honest with me rather than tell me what I want to hear.

You want your health care professional to tell you you're disgusting?

Look, I'm not arguing that being overweight is healthy or shouldn't be addressed by health care professionals. I'm saying there is a proper way to do it that patients will respond to. Being rude about it is only going to make them dig their heals into the ground.

This woman has mental health issues that she expresses and deals with through eating too much. Telling her she's "disgusting" for that isn't going to help her get healthy. A good health care professional would recognize and work with that rather than be rude and shame her.

peeaanuut

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Or not have to go the ER. I havent been into a doctors office or the ER in over 20 years. I have a signed and notarized DNR. My wife is in the medical industry and can take care of any issue I have. I also have a medical bank account with quite enough money if something were ever to arise. No, I am not a drain on the medical industry.

Laces_0ut

why does this site forbid pro anorexic posts but allows pro obesity posts? both are incredibly unhealthy...

JustJennie1

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

Rage_Phish

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Or not have to go the ER. I havent been into a doctors office or the ER in over 20 years. I have a signed and notarized DNR. My wife is in the medical industry and can take care of any issue I have. I also have a medical bank account with quite enough money if something were ever to arise. No, I am not a drain on the medical industry.

There are TONS of medical emergencies you could run into on a daily basis (slip, fall broken leg for example) that would require you to visit an ER. there is a reason that the number one cause of bankruptcy is hospital bills. I'm sorry but your shortsighted thinking is wrong.

Melissa22G

Wow. This post still going on?

beckizzle

the girl is 23. it's very easy to feel strong and defiant against something in your late teens and early twenties.

i doubt she'll feel the same in twenty years. and one day she'll probably look back at all she's missed because she is overweight.

yep! this ^^

she'll realise how much she has limited herself.

Laces_0ut

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

Hexahedra

Disgusting is such a strong word, but coming from somebody who was obese himself, it's understandable. Just like we rush to show tolerance to the author's decision to stay fat (which I personally think is stupid), we should show tolerance to the OP who chooses to reject his own obesity so strongly (and actually works on reducing it) that he prefers to use the word 'disgusting'.

Before anybody gets his panties in a bunch, I do believe in freedom, meaning everybody is free to be stupid. However, you can't expect anybody to agree with your stupid decision, especially when it increases the overall cost of healthcare to everybody.

I am the first person to admit that I looked terrible before I went on this journey. If I don't believe that what I was doing was wrong and reject it strongly, I wouldn't be where I am today. While I am far from getting a job as an underwear model, today I am lighter, healthier, stronger, faster, and has more endurance than before.

Rage_Phish

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

I never said you'd be denied service. Of course an ER will help people.

and when they cant pay the astronomical bill that many ER visits come with, the tax payers end up footing the bill.

Rage_Phish

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

correct

JustJennie1

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

So being obese immediately means that they can't afford to pay their hospital bill?

There are plenty of thin people who are a drain on society as well.

mandasalem

So what your saying is describing the author's self-destructive behavior as "disgusting" is somehow wrong and attributing to her problem.

I'm saying that most people in her situation and in the situation of a lot of other mental illnesses struggle with self-loathing. Using words like "disgusting" to describe them will absolutely add to that feeling of self-loathing.

Mental illness isn't something that people bring on themselves. There are so many contributing factors that it's almost impossible to sort it all out.

I wouldn't describe an alcoholic, as per your example, as disgusting. It's an illness that needs to be treated. Willfully not treating it is dangerous, it's frustrating, it's sad.

And you could, if you liked, apply all those same words to what this woman is doing. It's all of those things. But I don't think it's disgusting.

KatLifter

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Or not have to go the ER. I havent been into a doctors office or the ER in over 20 years. I have a signed and notarized DNR. My wife is in the medical industry and can take care of any issue I have. I also have a medical bank account with quite enough money if something were ever to arise. No, I am not a drain on the medical industry.

You *were* 400 pounds and haven't been to a doctor in 20 years? Your wife is medical and is okay with this? Doesn't add up. Part of the idea of having insurance is that you are seen regularly, many health problems can be caught before they are too serious, thus saving everyone money.

bajoyba

What is disgusting to me is the REASON she is choosing to be fat. She is not disgusting...being happy with your body is not disgusting...it's the fact that she is CHOOSING this for no other reason than because she can. Because it seems like a decision she can control. Doesn't sound to me like she is happy with her body. But like she has decided that her body is going to be this way so she can "shield herself in the armor of fat".

Of course, doctors treat fat people differently. It's wrong, and they don't understand what overweight people go through on a daily basis. No, it's not as simple as just "eating less". No one deserves to be a second class citizen based on any aspect of their appearance. For me, this isn't about how she looks, but how she thinks.

Just announcing one day that you don't believe you're eating to cover up pain inside doesn't make that true.

If you prefer the way you look at a heavier weight, your story is clearly different from this girl's. You're making a choice based on how you want to look. Not based on flipping the bird to society in general.

I haven't read this entire thread yet, but that's basically how I feel about the author. It's not disgusting to me that she's overweight. It's not disgusting to me that she's choosing to be overweight. I'm not sure "disgusting" is even the right word. But I do find her attitude concerning.
I have friends that are overweight and obese, and when we have conversations about my own choice to lose weight, I tell them that if they're truly happy with themselves, are mentally healthy, and feel good as they are, there's no reason they should feel like they have to conform to the pressures to lose weight or be thin.
I didn't choose to lose weight because I hated myself at my heaviest, or because I thought being smaller would make me happier. I loved myself at 235 pounds, and I love myself now. I decided to lose weight because I wanted a fitter, stronger body and knees that didn't ache. I felt like I wasn't in control of my own body, and I didn't like that feeling. I wanted my body to represent the way I felt on the inside.

There are people who are truly happy at a heavier weight, and I'm fine with that. Being mentally healthy and happy with who you are is a great accomplishment, and it's one that people of all shapes and sizes struggle with. The biggest problem with the original article is that the author clearly has a lot of issues that extend beyond her weight, and she doesn't seem very happy with herself. It's not disgusting, but it is sad. Choose whatever body you want, but don't do it because you had a rough past or because the world made you mad or because you want to stage a rebellion. Do it because it's really what makes you happiest.

crista_b

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

So being obese immediately means that they can't afford to pay their hospital bill?

There are plenty of thin people who are a drain on society as well.

I don't think that's what they were trying to say. Correct, people of all sizes are a drain on society, but when it comes down to health, it's been shown that obesity leads to many other health problems which can cause people to seek medical attention at a higher than normal rate. If those people can't pay their bill, that's when they become a drain on society. I think that's all they were getting at.

Laces_0ut

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

So being obese immediately means that they can't afford to pay their hospital bill?

There are plenty of thin people who are a drain on society as well.

i believe obesity rates are higher among the poor. so i guess it does correlate but is not absolute.

UsedToBeHusky

This woman has mental health issues that she expresses and deals with through eating too much. Telling her she's "disgusting" for that isn't going to help her get healthy. A good health care professional would recognize and work with that rather than be rude and shame her.

But the point is, the mentality that she is healthy, and therefore, doesn't need treatment is what the OP finds disgusting.

And as I pointed out, that mentality would be disgusting if we were talking about alcoholics, manic-depressives, or anyone else with a mental health issue that choose to go without treatment.

KatLifter

So what your saying is describing the author's self-destructive behavior as "disgusting" is somehow wrong and attributing to her problem.

I'm saying that most people in her situation and in the situation of a lot of other mental illnesses struggle with self-loathing. Using words like "disgusting" to describe them will absolutely add to that feeling of self-loathing.

Mental illness isn't something that people bring on themselves. There are so many contributing factors that it's almost impossible to sort it all out.

I wouldn't describe an alcoholic, as per your example, as disgusting. It's an illness that needs to be treated. Willfully not treating it is dangerous, it's frustrating, it's sad.

And you could, if you liked, apply all those same words to what this woman is doing. It's all of those things. But I don't think it's disgusting.

The actual disorders aren't "disgusting", but the actions taken and results of them can be. Alcoholics who drive drunk and hurt others. People with eating disorders who justify their habits to other impressionable people. Not treating either of these disorders is dangerous, frustrating, and sad. But going out and actively trying to convince others that it is acceptable, well, just isn't.

UsedToBeHusky

And you could, if you liked, apply all those same words to what this woman is doing. It's all of those things. But I don't think it's disgusting.

Well the OP is entitled to the opinion that "disgusting" is the appropriate word.

Rage_Phish

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

So being obese immediately means that they can't afford to pay their hospital bill?

There are plenty of thin people who are a drain on society as well.

you made up an odd assumption since i was responding directly to a poster who admitted to not having insurance

peeaanuut

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Or not have to go the ER. I havent been into a doctors office or the ER in over 20 years. I have a signed and notarized DNR. My wife is in the medical industry and can take care of any issue I have. I also have a medical bank account with quite enough money if something were ever to arise. No, I am not a drain on the medical industry.

You *were* 400 pounds and haven't been to a doctor in 20 years? Your wife is medical and is okay with this? Doesn't add up. Part of the idea of having insurance is that you are seen regularly, many health problems can be caught before they are too serious, thus saving everyone money.

She was more concerned with me not doing heroin than with my weight. I was about 120 lbs when we met. Weight has never been an issue for her. And its not entirely about the weight number for me either. I just want to be able to get back to the things I enjoy. Hiking, camping, rowing, surfing. Things I did when i was younger and enjoyed a lot. If I could do them at my size now, 400 lbs wouldnt be an issue. But I can do to those things at my size. And again, since you didnt read, I have an account with plenty of money to cover any medical expenses if the need arise. In the passed 20 years, the need has not arisen. When I sprained my ankle last year, I did what any doctor would tell me to do. Rest it up, put on some ice and wear a brace. So I went and got a walking boot, iced a bunch and the ankle is 100 percent now. No trip to the doctor needed. You are throwing around a lot of assumptions without knowing anything about me based on your bias of fat people.

UsedToBeHusky

So what your saying is describing the author's self-destructive behavior as "disgusting" is somehow wrong and attributing to her problem.

I'm saying that most people in her situation and in the situation of a lot of other mental illnesses struggle with self-loathing. Using words like "disgusting" to describe them will absolutely add to that feeling of self-loathing.

Mental illness isn't something that people bring on themselves. There are so many contributing factors that it's almost impossible to sort it all out.

I wouldn't describe an alcoholic, as per your example, as disgusting. It's an illness that needs to be treated. Willfully not treating it is dangerous, it's frustrating, it's sad.

And you could, if you liked, apply all those same words to what this woman is doing. It's all of those things. But I don't think it's disgusting.

The actual disorders aren't "disgusting", but the actions taken and results of them can be. Alcoholics who drive drunk and hurt others. People with eating disorders who justify their habits to other impressionable people. Not treating either of these disorders is dangerous, frustrating, and sad. But going out and actively trying to convince others that it is acceptable, well, just isn't.

But isn't that the point of the article? To convince people that it is okay for her to not treat her eating disorder just because she is healthy and comfortable with her appearance. Doesn't that, in turn, imply that the readers can make the same "dangerous, frustrating, and sad" excuse if they choose to.