How disgusting is this...

Gizziemoto

Unless you have experienced abuse all through your childhood and understand that the weight is her armor and makes her feel safe and secure do not judge her.

I understand her because I was and am her. If you can think of a type of abuse, I survived it. I am fighting every day to lose weight and the fear that comes with it. I am in my 40's and at one time was a size 4/6 (starved to get there due to peer pressure) and started having night terrors so I gained weight the weight back. I would have rather been looked at for being fat than an object of desire. It took me years to come to this realization and now I am trying to do something about it.

I hope for her sake, one day she does find the courage and strength to realize that she is worthy of love and her health is important.

AmyZ46

As a woman who has been overweight most of my adult life ,I totally understand where she is coming from .

- she's just not ready to lose weight

- we do hold our weight for psycological reasons- Abuse , neglect, Fear . If this is indeed a tru story then One day she may be ready to deal with these and then she may be able to deal with her physical health.

I feel bad for anyone who keeps weight on themselves due to past trauma - (but they do not disgust me at all.)
maybe it is that she had yoyo'd so many times she just can't accept another dissapointmnet?

We are not all strong .


Amy

qtgonewild

absolutely agree witht he lady talking about abuse. that was my problem as well.

sabified

It's disgusting (maybe a strong word... but I'll stick with the thread) because she's choosing to give in to her demons and remain overweight.

She clearly has physchological issues which have caused this- she's very clear to point those out. Yet, instead of listening to the health care practicioners who tell her that she's using food and her obesity as a crutch she found herself a new team which tells her what she wants. As an author who clearly did a Master's program in her field it's funny she doesn't seem to have taken any courses on researching your topic. If she had she'd have better examples than Dr. Oz and fad diets. I too hate Dr. Oz for constantly trying to tell the world that "thin is beautiful", but that doesn't mean that weight loss is only for superficial reasons. It doesn't mean I'm going to keep myself in an unhealthy state because I know that "thin" and "beauty" are not mutually exclusive, like most try to say they are.

Yes, unfortunately being obese tends to make some people unattractive-- it also makes many others, who ARE attractive FEEL like they're not. It also brings on a whole slew of heath issues and frankly, social stigmas. Should we cave to stigmas/general opinion just because they're there? No, of course not. Should you try to do what you can to improve any negative situation you're in? Yes, you should. It's one thing to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. She sounds like she's doing very well as an author, and great for her for that. She does deserve recognition where it's due. Frankly, I do think she writes well as well. But to try to publicly justify why you will not work on correcting the crutches you've been holding on to for so long? No, no sympathy from me on that end.

MsJulielicious

Bump

Shanzstar

Why do you think it is disgusting? its her choice.

You're kidding... right?

I suggest you head to the library or book store and pick up a copy of She's Come Undone.

The book is selling disinformation to dieters that don't want to take responsibility for their bad decisions. They don't have an innate genetic disposition to be hungrier than others. Their continued overeating has changed their urge to eat (google epigenetics if you want to learn more). So technically they do have more urges to eat, but that's only because they have consistently overate throughout their life. Habits, good and bad are formed and can be undone. She just doesnt want to.

I just looked through the author's other articles and saw one called "My best relationship is with my dog". I'm not surprised.

In the profession that I'm going into, I see women (men) who are similar to this author. She is "sick" not just on the outside but on the inside as well. She's right, she can lose the weight but if she doesn't fix what is going on in the inside, she'll just gain all that back.
I am also in healthcare as well, and I know it is really hard to sit here and read things like this. I can't speak for you O.P., but for me, I have seen what a lifetime of not taking care of yourself will do to someone's health. This will take a toll on her eventually and that is hard to read.

The bottom line is, she is not ready to change, She is in a dark place, and she feels alone. She also uses her weight to keep people away, because it's easier for her to be alone. - like I said, she needs to fix the inside, and I hope she does. I also hope she see's a registered dietitian who can help her make small changes over time and get a handle on her relationship with food.

Boogage

She obviously has plenty of issues to work through already. Let her learn to love herself as she is and then she may choose to make improvements to certain areas of her life. Baby steps

redredfox

There are plenty of people just like this author who have endured abuse of all kinds and at all ages and they do not make excuses. Some people will make excuses for themselves NO MATTER WHAT they go through in life. I guess it's great that she has come to terms with being overweight and is "comfortable" with how she is, but it comes down to health. There is no excuse that should be made when it comes to your health... regardless of how comfortable you are in your own skin.

RllyGudTweetr

Yes, fat-shaming is disgusting.

. . . wait, was that the question?

KatLifter

This girl made peace with her body. She decided that she loves it, and it is what it is no matter what anyone else thinks.

We celebrate talk like this all the time. Accepting a bit of stubborn flab, extra skin, stretch marks, weirdly shaped belly buttons, etc.

So there must be some kind of limitation on it. Like, if you are 'too fat', it's 'disgusting' for you to love your body. Or if you aren't 'doing something about it", you better not love your body. Or if you do...you better not tell anyone...

Now I'm wondering if I'm disgusting for loving mine while I took a break from cutting at 209lbs? Am I under the limit?

It's the mental illness piece, not the number on the scale piece that is being reacted to.
She has a binge eating disorder, and seems to be using societal norms to justify it by refusing to conform.

BTW:You look great and healthy, and this thread has absolutely nothing to do with you or your health/fitness goals.

Thanks! That's very sweet! I wasn't ACTUALLY wondering.... I was more making a point. Like, of course you wouldn't judge me, why would you judge her? Because there's some ambiguous cutoff? It's ridiculous.

But yes, I agree with you on the BED, which is causing her to be overweight. Certainly, she resists treatment. But it's sad. It's not disgusting. Lots of people with addictions resist treatment. Hell, most of them do at first and continually. But is it 'disgusting' and shameful, like OP continues to claim. No. It's not. I think it's offensive too because if you think off all of the different types of addicts that resist treatment, 'disgusting' doesn't seem to come to mind. But it's ok to call a fat girl with BED 'disgusting.' I don't get it. And it offends me.

I totally see your point. And, as a recovering addict (alcoholic) myself, I can relate to how she is feeling and the resisting treatment.
What I would say is disgusting is that this site will publish something like this where she is propagating this unhealthy and dangerous point of view. Others will relate to this, and thus feel validated to continue with dangerous patterns of thought and behavior.
Social normalization is a reality. When I was drinking, I thought everyone drank like me, because that is who I surrounded myself with. If people with a BED read this, they may believe it is normal and feel empowered to continue on.
Just my $.02

Suziq2you

I think disgusting is the wrong word. 2 1/2 years ago, this could have me. I thought I was perfectly content to be over 200 pounds. Until I decided I wasn't. This essay could be the pivot point for her. Or not.

mandasalem

Wild Wall of Text Appears!
Wall of Text uses Judgement!
It's super effective!
Critical Hit!

...

You black out!

Forget the rest of this thread, THAT is awesome.

mandasalem

Also, can folks just admit that "sad/frustrating/tragic/depressing" does NOT equal "disgusting"?

Disgust is a very strong reaction/emotion and a very strong word when applied to struggles with abuse, with mental illness, with disorders. It reeks of piling loathing onto someone else's self-loathing, and THAT'S disgusting.

FearAnLoathingJ

I don't think she has made peace with her body or past at all. I think she is still hiding behind it all. That's not peace or being happy with yourself

ncorbett88

I don't find it disgusting because I know what she is going through...I just find it sad that she doesn't want to make herself better! Good luck to her though!!

peeaanuut

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

britzzie

This girl made peace with her body. She decided that she loves it, and it is what it is no matter what anyone else thinks.

We celebrate talk like this all the time. Accepting a bit of stubborn flab, extra skin, stretch marks, weirdly shaped belly buttons, etc.

So there must be some kind of limitation on it. Like, if you are 'too fat', it's 'disgusting' for you to love your body. Or if you aren't 'doing something about it", you better not love your body. Or if you do...you better not tell anyone...

Now I'm wondering if I'm disgusting for loving mine while I took a break from cutting at 209lbs? Am I under the limit?

It's the mental illness piece, not the number on the scale piece that is being reacted to.
She has a binge eating disorder, and seems to be using societal norms to justify it by refusing to conform.

BTW:You look great and healthy, and this thread has absolutely nothing to do with you or your health/fitness goals.

Thanks! That's very sweet! I wasn't ACTUALLY wondering.... I was more making a point. Like, of course you wouldn't judge me, why would you judge her? Because there's some ambiguous cutoff? It's ridiculous.

But yes, I agree with you on the BED, which is causing her to be overweight. Certainly, she resists treatment. But it's sad. It's not disgusting. Lots of people with addictions resist treatment. Hell, most of them do at first and continually. But is it 'disgusting' and shameful, like OP continues to claim. No. It's not. I think it's offensive too because if you think off all of the different types of addicts that resist treatment, 'disgusting' doesn't seem to come to mind. But it's ok to call a fat girl with BED 'disgusting.' I don't get it. And it offends me.

I totally see your point. And, as a recovering addict (alcoholic) myself, I can relate to how she is feeling and the resisting treatment.
What I would say is disgusting is that this site will publish something like this where she is propagating this unhealthy and dangerous point of view. Others will relate to this, and thus feel validated to continue with dangerous patterns of thought and behavior.
Social normalization is a reality. When I was drinking, I thought everyone drank like me, because that is who I surrounded myself with. If people with a BED read this, they may believe it is normal and feel empowered to continue on.
Just my $.02

Fair enough.

Edited to add: Thanks for sharing, Kat. :flowerforyou:

sabified

Also, can folks just admit that "sad/frustrating/tragic/depressing" does NOT equal "disgusting"?

Disgust is a very strong reaction/emotion and a very strong word when applied to struggles with abuse, with mental illness, with disorders. It reeks of piling loathing onto someone else's self-loathing, and THAT'S disgusting.

Despite my earlier post, I do agree with this. Disgusting is the wrong word for the connotations it brings up. Not sure what I would use instead though.

darkestdayz

this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!

(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)

would you feel the same way if it was an anorexic person who was just skin and bones? they are both destroying their health, bodies, future...

sorry. false equivalency. anorexia is a psychological disease, not a body type. you can't be anorexic and healthy, whereas you CAN be fat and healthy. as this woman clearly says in her article, according to all the tests that don't have to do with her weight, she is healthy. the point is, we're not speculating on her health here. we're speculating on her bodily autonomy as a human being with a right to do what she wants with her body, and how people take issue with that. the responses in this thread are perfect examples. what she chooses to do with her body has nothing to do with you, with the OP, with me, or with anyone else. (and don't even get me started on the whole ~omg i'm paying her healthcare~ bs, because as i've just stated, she's healthy so it's a non-issue.)

i think what's disgusting is the way that many doctors treat fat patients. it leads to fat people being terrified to go to the doctor, and then, guess what? when they do have a medical problem, by the time they get it treated it's exacerbated itself to a point it never should have, giving the doctor even more fuel to blame it on a patient's weight.

shame does not motivate most people to do anything. it makes them hate themselves, which is not conducive to change or healthy behavior. shame, simply put, does not work. that's a big part of what the author was getting at.

shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.

this is going to be nitpicky but oh well. she's not 23. the article states that at the time she was at the clinic with her therapist, she was 23. it doesn't state her current age.

She's in her 30's now, won scholarships in 2002-2005 for writing.

TheSlorax

This girl made peace with her body. She decided that she loves it, and it is what it is no matter what anyone else thinks.

We celebrate talk like this all the time. Accepting a bit of stubborn flab, extra skin, stretch marks, weirdly shaped belly buttons, etc.

So there must be some kind of limitation on it. Like, if you are 'too fat', it's 'disgusting' for you to love your body. Or if you aren't 'doing something about it", you better not love your body. Or if you do...you better not tell anyone...

Now I'm wondering if I'm disgusting for loving mine while I took a break from cutting at 209lbs? Am I under the limit?

It's the mental illness piece, not the number on the scale piece that is being reacted to.
She has a binge eating disorder, and seems to be using societal norms to justify it by refusing to conform.

BTW:You look great and healthy, and this thread has absolutely nothing to do with you or your health/fitness goals.

Thanks! That's very sweet! I wasn't ACTUALLY wondering.... I was more making a point. Like, of course you wouldn't judge me, why would you judge her? Because there's some ambiguous cutoff? It's ridiculous.

But yes, I agree with you on the BED, which is causing her to be overweight. Certainly, she resists treatment. But it's sad. It's not disgusting. Lots of people with addictions resist treatment. Hell, most of them do at first and continually. But is it 'disgusting' and shameful, like OP continues to claim. No. It's not. I think it's offensive too because if you think off all of the different types of addicts that resist treatment, 'disgusting' doesn't seem to come to mind. But it's ok to call a fat girl with BED 'disgusting.' I don't get it. And it offends me.

I totally see your point. And, as a recovering addict (alcoholic) myself, I can relate to how she is feeling and the resisting treatment.
What I would say is disgusting is that this site will publish something like this where she is propagating this unhealthy and dangerous point of view. Others will relate to this, and thus feel validated to continue with dangerous patterns of thought and behavior.
Social normalization is a reality. When I was drinking, I thought everyone drank like me, because that is who I surrounded myself with. If people with a BED read this, they may believe it is normal and feel empowered to continue on.
Just my $.02

I agree with both of you... she is clearly resisting treatment. I'm not saying her weight or her disorder should be ACCEPTED, but that it should be viewed in the same light as anorexia/bulimia. There is definitely something wrong in her weight and disorder, but not in the way most people would think. It's not ok to me that she binges and remains overweight. But, it's not ok because she has an eating disorder, not because of her appearance or possible health problems. In the same way pro-ana and thinspo sites should not be encouraging anorexia, this article definitely should not be encouraging binging disorders (although I don't think it blatantly does - it's an explanation more than anything). It just really bothers me that people are taking away from the article that she chooses to be fat and keep eating. Unfortunately eating disorders really are not a choice.