WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2017

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  • KJLaMore
    KJLaMore Posts: 2,847 Member
    Hi all! Just got back from a field trip with the kiddos. Bus into the downtown area, playgrounds, museums, splash pad, trolley ride, ice cream, picnic. Full day. Three got picked up within five minutes of getting home, a fourth fell asleep on the bus on the way home, and the other is dozing while watching a show and waiting for her mom to pick her up for gymnastics. This is called a successful trip! :D

    I got a small (10 oz) slushie today instead of ice cream, so that my vegan girl wouldn't feel left out. I split my slushie with the baby, so I only drank 5 oz (about 70 calories). Yea! Small victories!

    Weddings, births, and funerals- Like many of you, I had a small wedding. My dh and I, his best man (his twin) and his wife was my matron of honor. That was the entire wedding party. Guests numbered about 20. My sibs and spouses, my parents, his parents, and his sibs and spouses. No kids. My dress was bought for $40 at a bargain boutique, my shoes were $10 from some department store. He wore a navy business suit and tie, his brother wore a sport coat and his wife wore a dress from her own closet. Coffee and cake reception. Wedding paid in full the day of. If we renew vows for our 30th, I will get a dress (and probably pay more), we will have a big party with more guests, we will serve more food/drinks, but it will still be laid back and casual. My funeral- cremation is my choice and a BIG party. No church service or mournful memorial. I have already given my kids my music playlist and arrangement wishes. My dh can't stand to think about it. I am sure he wants a normal funeral with a casket and burial. He is catholic and conservative. I better start saving for that. I also told my kids that if they can get the woman who owns the place to okay it, that they can just throw my body in the dumpster behind my favorite chinese restaurant and I will be at peace, there. LOL! (DH flipped when I said that!) >:) Births- Katie your comment about not wanting your students to see you naked after you die, reminded me about when I was in labor for DD. I went into Labor on Dec. 13, and my OB was on vacation! SO...the intern on duty was my doc. He walked in and said my name and used my maiden name! Uh-oh, that's not a good sign. I looked up and the intern was the former quarterback of my high school football team! :( Ugh! I would have been so mortified, if I hadn't been in so much pain. He delivered DD. Then when DYS was born, four years later on Dec. 24; guess who was on vacation? My OB. Guess who was the resident on duty? Yep. Dr. Quarterback. That guy saw more of me than any one other than my DH. :s
    Becca- Cute kitchen!
    Machka- Love the color palette! Is that the color scheme throughout your home? My home is currently a warm tone palette (warm yellows, oranges/peach, browns), I am changing it up this year to cool blues, greens, and greys. I am very excited.
    Michele- Hang in there with the wedding prep. I feel for you with having to deal with an overbearing mother of the groom. Would she be willing to meet with you to form a partnership? If she wants to help, put her to work. IF you lay out your plans, she may decide she likes them and be an extra pair of hands... maybe? wishful thinking? lol I am with you in spirit, though! Mother of the bride is a HARD job! <3

    Whoops! Gymnastic girl is gone. ONly one little one left and he is napping! Going to get my house cleaned while he is out. ttfn KJ (Kelly)
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    Sharon. My son was the same with root beer! We would be at the store and he would yell out, " I wanna beer"! I would shush him and say," What you mean to say is root beer". He would shake his head no, yelling, " no I want BEER". He really did mean to say root beer, because he had never actually tried beer. By then, people would be staring, and I would be beet red!!! Haha!

    Becca
    Oregon
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Kelly ~ What a brave woman you were to take the kids on a bus for a day out. Love the pics!
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    Made a doctors appointment for Fri at 10 am. Trying to figure out why after I eat I have a stomach ache. You know before you eat breakfast, your belly feels achy hungry, gurgles, and sometimes feels fluttery? Well its like that after as well. Enough that I need to lie down and be still. I also get an ache in my upper chest, like when you have done a lot of sit ups. I just want to eat something and be content.
    Becca
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Funerals: I want to be cremated. If my dear high school friends are still around and want to meet in Estes Park at my friend's house for a weekend to reminisce, that would suit me. And my partner will probably want a small service of some kind here in Virginia, because that sort of thing is important to her. If she wants, I will help her plan it so she feels she is honoring my memory. My friends and family here in Virginia can come to that if they want. Otherwise, I would like people to donate to an animal shelter, or the chronically underfunded local charity at the medical college for families who can't afford to bury their children, or any fund that will help keep our earth green.

    Karen in Virginia
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    When I die, I want them to throw me in a casket and bury me. I don't want to be embalmed. Of course, I am almost 100% sure that won't happen but that's what I want.
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    Katla, sadly her brother is no help at all being in his 80s as well. A couple of times he as come up from Bend area, taken her out to dinner is gone the next day. Prudence is on her own with her own life. I am available to her, but am slowly distancing myself from her. My husband says he wants his wife back...

    Becca
  • ljdw99
    ljdw99 Posts: 360 Member
    Funerals my father was enrolled in the anatomical gift program at Albany Medical College and when he died quite unexpectedly last August at 98, one phone call was all that was needed to get things in motion. There will be a group service at some point, which is what he opted for, or you can request the ashes. I'm also enrolled but with Harvard Medical College, however, my ashes will come back to be put with my husband's. That's his idea since, right now anyway, he feels more comfortable just being cremated. No services for either of us but a family gathering with good food, fine wine & funny stories seems most appropriate. The one caveat with the anatomical gift program is that even though you are enrolled the college must accept you at time of death, it's not an automatic.

    Lois on the North Shore of Ma.
  • spikeyhair
    spikeyhair Posts: 2,078 Member
    Kate UK <3
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,030 Member
    <3
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,074 Member
    evening ladies~
    well today has been the day, feeling as bad as I did last weds, so I doubled dipped tonight, took an amoxicillin and took a wee bit of Nyquil.. I did get a call from my friend Bev, who works for the Berkley school of music in Boston, that her mom wasn't feeling well and could I go over after work... she had to wait for traffic to die down before leaving boston.. I went over right when I got home and sat with her for an hour and a 1/2 she is have anxiety attacks ,and it is getting harder and harder for poor Bev to go back and forth to work..Bev is the VP of Endowments for the College, and travels quite extensively which gives her poor mother fits.. so when she gets down here at 9 or so ,after a long day at work. she has to take her mom to the ER for her anxiety ..God Bless Her. I have my phone by my bedside,just in case she gets riled up and then I will take her, before Bev gets here.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,223 Member
    J
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,570 Member
    edited July 2017
    margaretturk wrote: »
    Machka love the color palette.
    "lhscapil wrote: »
    Machka - I too love the color palette.
    Peach1948 wrote: »
    Machka ~ Love those colors!
    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Machka- Love the color palette! Is that the color scheme throughout your home? My home is currently a warm tone palette (warm yellows, oranges/peach, browns), I am changing it up this year to cool blues, greens, and greys. I am very excited.

    It is more or less what we've got throughout our home with the exception of the bathroom.

    That colour scheme has sort of just happened ... probably because it appeals to both of us so if we're out shopping we just gravitate toward those colours.

    At one time, way back when, I spent a lot of time, effort and money decorating the apartment I lived in. I loved it! I had that place just the way I wanted it. :) But my desire for both travel and further education stepped in, and a couple years later, I got rid of about 1/3 of my stuff, moved the rest of it two provinces over into storage near my parents' place, and flew to Australia to cycletour (touring by bicycle) for 3 months with a friend from the UK. When I returned, I stayed in a couple rooms in my parents' basement and got my Bachelor of Education.

    During that time, I married my husband, and the moment I graduated, I moved to Australia, but just before I did that, I got everything out of storage, got rid of about 1/3 of it, and then packed it all up to be shipped to Australia. I had 300 cubic feet of stuff. For reference, measure your bathroom. It is likely 8 feet tall, and if it is anything like the bathrooms I'm familiar with it is possibly 7 feet by 6 feet (maybe not including the tub). 8 x 7 x 6 is 336 cubic feet. So all I had left in the world fit into the space of a small bathroom.

    Meanwhile my husband had also downsized a few years earlier ... and then lost most of everything else in the Victorian bushfires in 2009.

    We moved what little we had into a shack for a year, then when we went into a small rental property for a couple years, we started buying a bit of furniture ... just whatever appealed to us. At the end of two years we packed it all into storage to travel for 8 months ... a few more moves after we got back to Australia, and we ended up in the place we're in now.

    As it happens, this place has dusty blue curtains, creamy coloured walls, grey blue carpet ... perfect! Our brown-tone furniture fit right in, and without much effort at all, all of a sudden we had a place decorated in that colour palette!! :grin:

    I find it relaxing without being too cold ... it does remind me of the beach which I love. :)


    The bathroom, however, is an eclectic mixture of things we've both collected over the years ... with a lot of purple, yellow and pink colours.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Katla – the Chinese Warrior show we went to see consisted of actual warriors, pictures, and mini-scaled exhibits of the area they were found in. They had found another one, near it; and, I think they said that some of the color was still visible. I thought it was so neat. But, I love going to museums.

    Tere – I usually only get one mixed drink when we go out to eat. I’m just not much of a drinker because of some of the medications I take. I love the stemware for martinis, too. The ‘new’ glasses at the Mexican Restaurants we go to isn’t like they used to be. The small one almost looks like one you’d use for ice cream, only bigger, they put the tequila down in a little dimple at the top of the stem; I can’t remember the medium; but the large looks like an over-sized very heavy martini glass that takes 2 hands to hold. I think they upped the size of them. By the time we finish our small ones, it is beginning to get to Buzz City. Louis won’t ever order a 2nd one. One shot is enough for me, too. That was the 1st time I had ever downed a shot with one gulp.

    Great wedding story – surprised a lot of family members I am sure. Sometimes it takes the ‘shock’ value of it to hit them with the truth.

    Michele – Yeah, funerals and weddings … bring out the worst and quite often the tears are from the ‘hurt feelings’ more than anything. I feel for you, yet I have only been the mother of the groom. DDnL#1 can be a P.I.T.A.; and she has said things to me (or about me, and I have been told) that makes if ‘hard’ for me to let my guard down. She is so quick to fly off the handle without any warning. I think she is bipolar and she now takes Wellbutrin (a medication I took for a while). I’d never tell her that, because that would almost insure that she would go off it. Even off for one day, you can tell. It gets into the bloodstream quickly; but, at the same time it leaves the body quickly. DDnL#2 is ‘exactly’ the “10” that our DYS has always been looking for. He dated around, his brother and SnL ‘tried’ their best to get him to ask the last woman he dated (about 8 months) to get married; but, she just was not ‘right’ for him. Tami call him her “Prince William” and that she had been ‘praying to meet someone like him ever since she threw her ‘ex’ out of the house. She is a ‘lovely’ young lady. Denise will get very tired of being pushed around and Pete not standing up to her. It’ll be just a matter of time. If that is to be, hopefully they will have put off having children.

    As hard as it has been, it would be better ‘not’ to stoop to Pete’s Mother’s level. Show her what ‘class’ looks like. Mother used to tell us ‘that you can’t buy class; it is something you are taught and grow up doing as 2nd nature’. There’ve been times when I have stooped to someone else’ level. I did that with Louis’ daughter after we found out what she was doing with things, because she lived near their Mother. Sad; but, I won’t do anything again. I won’t let her ‘get to us or close enough to me’. Including, I won’t notify her ‘if’ her Dad gets sick or passes away before me. That will be something that his sons will have to decide what to do, or not. Either way, I do NOT want to be told if they attempted to contact her, or not. I don’t want to get ‘angry’ about it all over again. Louis has long since let it out of his mind … to him, she is dead, just as his Mother. To me, they got transferred shortly after the funeral, overseas, and the plane went down in a plume of black smoke and we never heard from them after that. I remember when we moved to the house I grew up in and met the ‘girl next door’ who was actually a woman in her early 90’s. They had a son who had traveled out to San Francisco and when they Big Earthquake occurred, they never heard from him again. They just had to assume as bad as it was, that he was a victim.

    August 20th is our 45th wedding anniversary.

    Katie – Yeah, when dealing with children it is difficult if not impossible to try to tell them ‘no’. My nieces had dresses like their mother but they were not in my wedding.

    NYKaren – Will keep you in my prayers and hopefully everything will work in your favor.

    DJ – You have the opposite problem than I do … my ‘stuff’ goes missing. I’ve thought about getting pink paint and dipping the handles in it (or liquid latex).

    Machka – My GYN has put me on so many vitamins and supplements and when I go to my PsycheMD the 24th I will ask him about all of them. I fill my pill box and it is full; both day and evening pills.

    Love your color palette. Louis and I have the same taste … browns, beiges, rust, wine, brown and a lot of different ‘textures’. We do have an Oriental rug that has a navy center and I do want my dining room chairs painted that color and the white part on the bar stools. I want to draw a bit of that navy into the dining room. I can’t wait to replace the ‘dated’ hunter green kitchen counters. Louis was talking about putting some sort of backsplash; but, I told him I would rather replace the countertops that are hunter green and are beginning to swell because water has seeped between it and the sink.

    Becca – Love the Dream Kitchen Pix … I have so many ‘dreams’ about what to do around here. Hopefully, they will be coming the end of next week to replace all the stops to the window on the porch. IF they had not called me back today I was planning on reporting them to the BBB. I hate gotten pretty ‘hot’ about it. But, I was pleasant but I did specifically ask that the couple who had come out to ‘see’ why I was unhappy with the installation; because they agreed that it was a ‘shoddy job’. The owner has never, ever come back out here. They had asked ‘if they could use my name as a referral’. I’m not too sure I can do it, unless and until they do the job correctly.

    I’m glad that Prudence seems to have decided that she doesn’t need things and also that she has made the decision to call a taxi for her shopping trip. I think older people just need to have some ‘positivity’ in their lives, especially when they don’t have any family. That ‘atta girl’ approach will give her more confidence and whenever she moves to the Senior complex she will have others who will display that behavior. I know that Louis’ Aunt Ellie and Mary, will ‘never’ get old … they are way too ‘frisky’ to give up making comments like, “Hello Darlin’” to every man who comes in.

    Joyce – When Louis brings out his big paint charge; he always tells the customer to pick out a color they like; and they will paint that color on the wall and a sample of the next lighter shade; on each wall and tells them to look at it several days in all types of daylight and under regular lights.

    Trey got angry when he was still living under our roof and punched a wall in the hallway. Louis made him ‘fix’ it; but, he did supervise him doing it. At least he did not ‘hit a stud’ in the process.

    Barbiecat – Nice and easy to keep up. Just have to maybe spray if there is a weed that happens to find a way through a crack.

    Heather – Our DYS has always said to ‘have a party’ for his funeral, like a Louisiana Cajun low country Boil and drink to his life.

    Sharon – I don’t do ‘any’ closed places well. Especially caves (even though they are so much cooler than outside this time of year). When Louis and I used to scuba dive; I would hyperventilate for 5+ minutes. He was always behind me and I wanted him beside me. There are a lot of things that I won’t do, if I can help it. I won’t sit with my back to the door or the rest of the restaurant. I don’t go ‘first’ into a darken room or street. However, when I got locked up due to having a bipolar episode, I did sit with my back to the door because I always got served meals last … they would even rearrange the stack so that mine was last. So I did sit with my back to the door so they’d have to come up to me to get my attention. I got assaulted by a male patient and they did not find me for a while. He had shoved my head into the concrete wall. The only ones that got to go ‘outside’ on the enclosed patio/basketball court were the ‘smokers’ so I got in the middle of a group and when everybody was getting their cigarettes lit I held my hand up in a “V” and walked right past them. There was one nurse that would sit and talk to me. It wasn’t much fun and I knew I was there, against my will and that only made matters worse.

    I had never been to a funeral where there was a simple pine box … that is the way I want to go; have a ‘service’ if they want to; but, they can either cremate me or bury me. I don’t care; my soul would have gone to wherever I go … hopefully Heaven!

    If I use ‘dark humor’ or a ‘play on words’ … seems like someone misunderstands my intentions. So I only do it when I am ‘face-to-face’ [except with y’all, of course].

    Katie – I never thought about that angle to using a funeral home. I’m like you, I would rather NOT know my funeral director on a personal basis. The one my Mother used was known by his nickname of “Spanky”. I am afraid to ask anybody that would know. Nice guy; but, a grown man should not still be going by “Spanky”.
    But if I am to be ‘laid out’ for others to view, I want to know that my hair and makeup ‘look’ like me. Don’t want to be buried (or cremated) in ‘old’ clothes like my DMnL was ‘thanks to my selfish little step-daughter’; but, that is neither here nor there.

    How do we get on some of the subjects we discuss? LOL!

    Lenora
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,223 Member
    stats for the day:

    **wahoo hrm not recording :0/ **
    all apple watch-

    bike ride hm 2 gym- 10.24min, 16.9mph. 2.9mi = 104c
    SPIN CLASS- 40min, 84ar, 94aw, 10-13g, 17.8mi = 320c
    bike ride gym 2 dome- 5.56min, 14.2amph, 1.4mi = 54c
    bike ride puy 2 sumner station- 15.30min, 11.8amph, 3mi= 130c
    run sta 2 wk- 4.56min, 9.37min mi, .5mi = 64c
    run wk 2 sta- 4.40min, 10.16min mi, .4mi = 55c
    bike ride puy sta 2 hm- 51.17min, 11.4amph, 9.7mi = 448c

    tottal cal 1175
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,703 Member

    Hi Gals,

    Interesting talk on weddings and funerals, I am like many of you – if I were ever to get married it would need to be nice but not expensive at all… And no fuss! As for funerals – my mom wants NOTHING - I had to sit her down and explain that for her grandson Kyle and for me there needed to be something, not big and crazy but a small gathering to share some stories and a cry or two… Kyle lost his other grandma and although he did not have much of a relationship with her he was a pall bearer and spoke at the service, I did talk it over with him and told him that grandma wanted something much more low key, so we will figure it out when the time comes.

    My dad was raised a Christian scientist and they have a different take on the whole funeral thing; and with his mom (active Christian Scientist), and my mom’s mom (catholic) both trying to take over my dad’s service, it was a fiasco! The catholic grandma demanded a viewing with an open casket – I refused to go kiss my dead dad (I ended up refusing to go to the viewing at all) It took that grandma two years before she spoke to me again.. The service ended up being just graveside, and although the funeral home would provide a ride to and from the cemetery, my Uncle (dad’s brother) decided he was driving and was so broken up on the way home we got in a car crash, no one hurt but the rental car had to be towed away….

    So for myself there is a company that will pack your ashes into fireworks then take the folks on a party boat out into international waters and put on a fireworks show…. I’d love to go out with a BANG!
    Smiles

    Kim from N. California
  • DamitJanit
    DamitJanit Posts: 1,329 Member
    Been typing a post but DD keeps interrupting me and complaining about work. Now I'm exhausted so I'm going to bed. Will continue my post tomorrow.
    I did the recumbent bike for almost an hour today. Yea me.

    Have a good day, My friends.

    Love,
    DJ
    Myrtle Beach, SC
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,506 Member
    Took the deep water class. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Stephanie Vitorio Body Target DVD.

    Becca - so glad that Prudence understands and agrees with you!

    Heather - your funeral (which better not be for a long, long, long time) sounds like exactly what I want. I want people to have a party. Celebrate, that's what I want

    Sharon - you know what are really good? Root beer floats. Actually, that's about the only kind of float that I like. Your grandchildren sound so cute

    NYKaren - how I wish Denise would have had a smaller wedding! But I know Pete was really into the "family being there to see them get married" type of thing. One of the reasons I wish they had a smaller wedding is because Denise doesn't have many at all from her side. Basically, Vince, me, Jess, Colby, her godparents. I have a feeling that Bryan isn't going to come and I know that she invited my friend from Switzerland but she can't come since this year they unexpectedly had to purchase a new car.

    After exercising, I stopped at the Salvation Army then took these coke caps and boxtops for education to this one gal for the school

    Denise called. Now she doesn't want to use the cake topper I got her but she wants to get this wooden "R" (the initial of their last name) and put my cake topper in front of the cake. I told her that that would look stupid since mine looks like it's meant to be a cake topper. A wooden "R" in front of the cake wouldn't look out of place, but an obvious cake topper would. So I asked her not to use mine. I would not be surprised if his mother bought that topper or convinced Denise that she should use an "R". I told her how the oil and butter from the icing will get into the wood, and no matter what you do, you will never be able to wash it completely off since wood is very porous. I bet his mother said "oh, you can wash it off". I told her that I have been doing crafts for a long time and have experience, it will get moldy and eventually disintegrate the wood. but if she has her heart set on this wooden "R", then not to use the cake topper I got her.

    KJ - the only way Pete's mother would even CONSIDER meeting me is if I were to come up there. There is no way she would even meet me half way. No way. Form a partnership? No, it has to be her way. That's the way she feels, so I'll just go along. What goes around comes around, karma is a b**ch. I believe that. She'll get hers one day. Maybe this is why she is on her second marriage. She wants to help by doing everything HER way. Work with someone? Are you kidding?

    katla - I am going to try to be as gracious as I can. I am going to try to believe that eventually Denise will see that I'm willing to put HER first. I'm an organ donor, too. I hope when I die that I am able to help at least one person.

    I agree that funerals ARE for the living. But I also think that a nice memorial party would be good for the living, too.

    Michele in NC
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
    .
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,683 Member
    edited July 2017
    I didn't even realise that there is no necessity to have an actual funeral until the female funeral director came to give a talk to the WI. She let that one slip out and I asked her about it. I have never been to a funeral that I would want to be the body of. And over here it costs, at the minimum, $4,000 . Nearly everyone has a limousine or two and a shiny coffin. Most services, whether religious or not, are held at the crematorium. I want my family and friends to enjoy a delicious gourmet meal in a lovely restaurant with that money, play some great music I requested, pass round a few photos of me in my pomp and talk about how utterly marvellous I was. :D I hope to have published a few more books by then, so that is all the memorial I need.
    They can scatter half my ashes from a London bridge and half from a Paris one. :D
    I don't think we talk enough about death, which is, after all, part of everyone's life. DH is very resistant as he was traumatised by the passing of his his previous partner. In my view she made selfish choices, but I don't say that to him. She refused to countenance the fact that she was dying and consequently there was a lot of unnecessary suffering.

    Got to take him up a cup of tea. <3

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • spikeyhair
    spikeyhair Posts: 2,078 Member
    Kate UK <3
  • dreamwriter
    dreamwriter Posts: 610 Member
    Allie - Get better. I hope it went well with the lawyer.

    Chris - Glad you are enjoying your vacation. I hope your meeting went well.

    Funerals - We had full Catholic services for Larry's Mom and Dad. I wondered who they were talking about at Ruth's and I had to give the eulogy at Joe's.
    My Dad - He always said he wanted to be pounded into a fence post hole so he could become fertilizer. We didn't do that. Mom picked a very plain casket because she figured Dad would like it.
    My Grandpas - My one Grandpa had what he would have called a Norwegian wake. Yes, a weekend of food, alcohol, music, games and laughter. One of my older cousins read his letter to us, a love letter to family and friends from a wonderful man.
    The other made all his own arrangements and paid in advance. There was a luncheon for 150 ( there were 147). There was music and laughter.
    They both opted for a "Man of the Cloth" to say a few words.

    Today I got my hair cut and coloured after work. Grandpa was in charge so the boys did nothing until I got home. I was highly irritated with DH. We took the littles to the big playground while the older boys walked around the lake playing Pokemon Go. Came home , bbqed and visited then oldest grandson went off with his uncle to create music.

    Plans are up in the air for what to do with the boys today. I have this day off so hopefully we can make it special.

    -Sharon in Lethbridge ( 2 asthma attacks triggered by the smoke)

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