Loneliness and weight loss.

EatingAndKnitting · September 2017

I met my husband when I was 17 and fell HARD. He didn't though, so I dated a few other guys, and stayed friends with him. We dated for two years and were married when I was 25, we have been married almost 14 years.

I was almost my heaviest when we were married, so I know it wasn't my body he fell in love with.

When I met my husband I was a size 18/20. When we were married I was a 26. I got down to a 22 before bipolar disorder kicked my *kitten* so badly I fell off the weight Watchers wagon and gave up. I gained all the weight I lost, and found a few extra "friends", and went up to a 30. Now I'm doing this for the last time.

Those five years when I was in love and he wasn't were miserable. I didn't have a lot of other guy options, felt fat and unlovable (was suffering from untreated bipolar disorder too, so that really didn't help things), and ate a lot.

I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them. I have friends, married and divorced before, found each other at forty. Been married 18 years and happy as clams. They are perfect for each other, and I can't imagine them with anyone else, and I knew his first wife! My best friend married a man she'd known for three months at the age of 36. Been married twice before, but I think this time is a winner.

Life is crazy. You never know what twists and turns will come.

Fitkam90 · September 2017

SueSueDio wrote: »

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

What a strange idea to have in this day and age. There is absolutely no reason why anybody NEEDS to be married.

There's a difference between feeling that you NEED to be married (to fit in, to feel "worthy", for financial security, or whatever other reason you may have), and having the DESIRE to be married and/or have children. There's nothing wrong with the latter.

OP, I met my husband on a blind date when I was 22 (he's 3 years older) and we were married 18 months later - still married after 28 years, and still in love. We've had our ups and downs, but life isn't all smooth sailing!

I have a friend who was married young and got divorced, then found the "real" love of her life at 46. I had another one who married her childhood sweetheart at 18 and they were extremely happy - as far as I know they're still together, but we lost touch years ago. Another one also divorced her first husband, with whom she had no children, and had two beautiful babies with her second husband when she was in her late thirties.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't know what life's going to bring you, or when! Hopefully you will one day find the love you long for, but I wish you a happy life in the meantime. Don't wait around for Mr Right, he'll come along while you're busy enjoying yourself just living!

Aww thank you so much for this response! Gives me hope

Fitkam90 · September 2017

bobtater1 wrote: »

Gee let me introduce you to my son. He's 36 and never been married (Just kidding). He got a little concerned about not being married when he was your age and then by reading what St. Paul had to say about the single life in his letters he decided to embrace the single life as a vocation and wait to see if it would be God's Will to bring somebody into his life.Just live the vocation that you have right now and wait on God.

Thanks! I have thought about what Paul says about it would be better for people to remain single so you can keep God 1st, but he also says it's ok to marry if we must, because it is better to marry than to burn with passion. I'm not sure which category God has put me in yet, but I sure trust that marriage is in my future! I'll just keep waiting and praying.

Fitkam90 · September 2017

jesslla wrote: »

I met my husband when I was 17 and fell HARD. He didn't though, so I dated a few other guys, and stayed friends with him. We dated for two years and were married when I was 25, we have been married almost 14 years.

I was almost my heaviest when we were married, so I know it wasn't my body he fell in love with. When I met my husband I was a size 18/20. When we were married I was a 26. I got down to a 22 before bipolar disorder kicked my *kitten* so badly I fell off the weight Watchers wagon and gave up. I gained all the weight I lost, and found a few extra "friends", and went up to a 30. Now I'm doing this for the last time.

Those five years when I was in love and he wasn't were miserable. I didn't have a lot of other guy options, felt fat and unlovable (was suffering from untreated bipolar disorder too, so that really didn't help things), and ate a lot.

I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them. I have friends, married and divorced before, found each other at forty. Been married 18 years and happy as clams. They are perfect for each other, and I can't imagine them with anyone else, and I knew his first wife! My best friend married a man she'd known for three months at the age of 36. Been married twice before, but I think this time is a winner.

Life is crazy. You never know what twists and turns will come.

It sounds like you have had to endure some difficult times! I'm glad you are getting the treatment you need and are taking of yourself! Thank you for sharing! I really enjoy everyone's stories.

cecil_hall · September 2017

I was married at 21 we just had our 26 anniversary. I wish ya the best of luck with finding everything you are looking for

SueSueDio · September 2017

jesslla wrote: »

I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them.

That is very true!

EatingAndKnitting · September 2017

Fitkam90 wrote: »

jesslla wrote: »

I met my husband when I was 17 and fell HARD. He didn't though, so I dated a few other guys, and stayed friends with him. We dated for two years and were married when I was 25, we have been married almost 14 years.

I was almost my heaviest when we were married, so I know it wasn't my body he fell in love with. When I met my husband I was a size 18/20. When we were married I was a 26. I got down to a 22 before bipolar disorder kicked my *kitten* so badly I fell off the weight Watchers wagon and gave up. I gained all the weight I lost, and found a few extra "friends", and went up to a 30. Now I'm doing this for the last time.

Those five years when I was in love and he wasn't were miserable. I didn't have a lot of other guy options, felt fat and unlovable (was suffering from untreated bipolar disorder too, so that really didn't help things), and ate a lot.

I believe there's someone for everyone. It's not always the person you think it's going to be and you never know when you'll find them. I have friends, married and divorced before, found each other at forty. Been married 18 years and happy as clams. They are perfect for each other, and I can't imagine them with anyone else, and I knew his first wife! My best friend married a man she'd known for three months at the age of 36. Been married twice before, but I think this time is a winner.

Life is crazy. You never know what twists and turns will come.

It sounds like you have had to endure some difficult times! I'm glad you are getting the treatment you need and are taking of yourself! Thank you for sharing! I really enjoy everyone's stories.

It was no fun at times, but I'm doing really well now. I've not had a mood swing in almost two years, which is amazing! I'm happy and getting healthy, and my husband is fully supporting me. I literally could not do this without him.

I've enjoyed everyone's stories too! This is a great thread!

takuwinds · September 2017

You can find things you like to do to keep you busy and don't focus on finding "the one". This is your journey and no one else. I think you what you feel is you think you are missing out on human contact that happens in a relationship. When people find a replacement such as food to fill the void, it can have the result you were not looking for. I have been married for over 20 years and I tell you, it takes a lot of work to keep it going. It has many up and and just as many downs. In the down times I found comfort in food and it gave the the body that was a prison cell. High blood pressure, back problems, knee pain and constant fatigue and led to medications. I would love to tell you marriage is bliss but it's not always a happy ever after. Take you time finding "the one" and I sincerely hope you do. In the mean time, focus on you, take care of you.

ekim2016 · September 2017

do you ever date or have a way to meet new people? You are very young from my perspective and have plenty of time to meet "Mr. Right".... since the beginning of civilization people have met and coupled. Get out there - enjoy the world and have the time of your life while young!!

kdoy1970 · September 2017

Hi all-
I am 47 and single. And I have to say that nighttime loneliness is a huge obsticle for me. I suffer from severe depression and sometimes I feel like Food is my only comfort. Does anyone else feel this way?

LiveLoveFitFab · September 2017

I got married at 28, I'm 37 now. I'm very happy, but I never had the intention of getting married, I just met someone I couldn't see myself living without, so I married him. Before that, most guys were just my boyfriends or lovers but I never felt like I needed them in my life, although most of them might have thought differently I guess.

Either way, I didn't meet my husband until I became the person I would want to be married to, if that makes any sense? I couldn't even see myself as married until I was that person. Then it was easy to attract the person I wanted, because I had the qualities to attract a good person that I couldn't see myself without.

My husband is my best friend and more, there is so much more to a marriage than meeting someone to solve the problem of loneliness, lest you become lonely in a room with another human being who makes you feel even more lonely.

Really, you have to be whole on your own; no other person can complete you. You have to be the best person you can be on your own to attract the kind of person you want to be around for the rest of your life, and you don't deserve any less (and neither do they)

I really wouldn't worry too much about it. Work on yourself, meet lots of people and if it is meant to happen, it will when the time is right. Marriage isn't a gateway to buying a home and having 2.5 kids, it's about so much more if it is to be successful.
That's about all I can say as a happily married person.

CharlieBeansmomTracey · September 2017

kdoy1970 wrote: »

Hi all-
I am 47 and single. And I have to say that nighttime loneliness is a huge obsticle for me. I suffer from severe depression and sometimes I feel like Food is my only comfort. Does anyone else feel this way?

find a hobby or find groups in your area that have interests you may like say cooking,reading club something along those lines. clubs can be a way to meet new people and make new friends

mamadon · September 2017

I met my husband when I was 28 and married him when I was 29. We've been together for almost 27 years. I had pretty much stopped trying to find someone when I met him. That is of course when it happened lol. I do remember feeling lonely and wondering if I would ever meet anyone.

Fitkam90 · September 2017

mamadon wrote: »

I met my husband when I was 28 and married him when I was 29. We've been together for almost 27 years. I had pretty much stopped trying to find someone when I met him. That is of course when it happened lol. I do remember feeling lonely and wondering if I would ever meet anyone.

Thank you for sharing. Congrats on 27 years.

gcibsthom · September 2017

I got married first at 22 and then again at 42...marriage is not the answer to loneliness. I have been lonely in both marriages... Loneliness is something that you need to work out inside yourself..you need to love yourself...do things that you want to do to do for you...As for meeting someone...you will. But please don't jump into anything too quickly just to get married. Hindsight is always 20/20....marriage can be wonderful, but it is not the answer to loneliness. The worst kind of loneliness is being in a loveless marriage...