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Can you both desire to lose weight and be body positive?
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kakaovanilya wrote: »I believe that if someone loves their body, loves how it looks, they wouldn't try to lose weight, they would try to maintain their weight. So my answer is no. And I also don't find it sincere when a plus-sized one pushes body positivity. I believe it is an act.
I loved my body and how it looked...no issue...I was over 200lbs.
That is called confidence....doesn't mean I didn't understand that the extra weight was causing health issues...
That is called perspective and reality.
I lost my weight to be healthier...less achy and get my blood work in line...didn't change how I felt about my body or how it looked.
If I were a plus-sized, I'd still love a lot of things about myself, my hair, my eyes, my hands etc. but I could never say I love my body while I am walking on a beach with a swimsuit and if there is anyone who says that, I wouldn't believe them. That is my opinion.3 -
kakaovanilya wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I believe that if someone loves their body, loves how it looks, they wouldn't try to lose weight, they would try to maintain their weight. So my answer is no. And I also don't find it sincere when a plus-sized one pushes body positivity. I believe it is an act.
I loved my body and how it looked...no issue...I was over 200lbs.
That is called confidence....doesn't mean I didn't understand that the extra weight was causing health issues...
That is called perspective and reality.
I lost my weight to be healthier...less achy and get my blood work in line...didn't change how I felt about my body or how it looked.
If I were a plus-sized, I'd still love a lot of things about myself, my hair, my eyes, my hands etc. but I could never say I love my body while I am walking on a beach with a swimsuit and if there is anyone who says that, I wouldn't believe them. That is my opinion.
*shrugs* you don't have to believe me but the facts are out there...otherwise you wouldn't see plus sized models...or plus sized people walking around in a bathing suit or shorts etc...
Actions speak louder than words.2 -
kakaovanilya wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I believe that if someone loves their body, loves how it looks, they wouldn't try to lose weight, they would try to maintain their weight. So my answer is no. And I also don't find it sincere when a plus-sized one pushes body positivity. I believe it is an act.
I loved my body and how it looked...no issue...I was over 200lbs.
That is called confidence....doesn't mean I didn't understand that the extra weight was causing health issues...
That is called perspective and reality.
I lost my weight to be healthier...less achy and get my blood work in line...didn't change how I felt about my body or how it looked.
If I were a plus-sized, I'd still love a lot of things about myself, my hair, my eyes, my hands etc. but I could never say I love my body while I am walking on a beach with a swimsuit and if there is anyone who says that, I wouldn't believe them. That is my opinion.
*shrugs* you don't have to believe me but the facts are out there...otherwise you wouldn't see plus sized models...or plus sized people walking around in a bathing suit or shorts etc...
Actions speak louder than words.
Maybe the reason I think like this is because it is impossible for me to love my body when I have some belly fat or my arms are not toned enough but I do admire those who love their body. I wish I could, too1 -
kakaovanilya wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »kakaovanilya wrote: »I believe that if someone loves their body, loves how it looks, they wouldn't try to lose weight, they would try to maintain their weight. So my answer is no. And I also don't find it sincere when a plus-sized one pushes body positivity. I believe it is an act.
I loved my body and how it looked...no issue...I was over 200lbs.
That is called confidence....doesn't mean I didn't understand that the extra weight was causing health issues...
That is called perspective and reality.
I lost my weight to be healthier...less achy and get my blood work in line...didn't change how I felt about my body or how it looked.
If I were a plus-sized, I'd still love a lot of things about myself, my hair, my eyes, my hands etc. but I could never say I love my body while I am walking on a beach with a swimsuit and if there is anyone who says that, I wouldn't believe them. That is my opinion.
*shrugs* you don't have to believe me but the facts are out there...otherwise you wouldn't see plus sized models...or plus sized people walking around in a bathing suit or shorts etc...
Actions speak louder than words.
Maybe the reason I think like this is because it is impossible for me to love my body when I have some belly fat or my arms are not toned enough but I do admire those who love their body. I wish I could, too
But those are your own preferences. Just look at how people dress and you'll see people have their own preferences, and this also applies for body shape. Personally for myself, I hope I never get a flat belly (which thankfully I never will). I think a little bit of belly fat is cute. I also like love handles (they remind me of some belly dancers).1 -
kakaovanilya wrote: »I believe that if someone loves their body, loves how it looks, they wouldn't try to lose weight, they would try to maintain their weight. So my answer is no. And I also don't find it sincere when a plus-sized one pushes body positivity. I believe it is an act.
I don't think "body positivity" need mean "love how my body looks" and certainly not "think there's nothing that could improve my body." Reasons for this were given upthread, but really it seems weird to me to equate "feel positivity about my body in general" to "think my body is perfect in how it looks." I'll probably never think my body is perfect in how it looks (or that I as a person am perfect -- both would be delusional), but I am positive about my self generally (I like myself, imperfect as I am) and similarly I am positive about my body (I appreciate what it can do and it's potentials and feel generally comfortable in it, while still wanting to make it stronger and better and healthier and, sure, more like my own physical ideal). I say this not being overweight at the moment, but I don't know why it wouldn't also apply to some who are.2 -
I see it as just because I don’t love my body doesn’t mean other larger woman shouldn’t love theirs. My body is personal to me, I think loads of woman look incredible with a bit of weight on them (it’s all about attitude and confidence) I just hate it on me.1
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I find there is a pretty big difference between "body positivity" and self love. Loving someone requires honesty, especially tough honesty, the kind they may not want to hear. I may have attempted to view my obesity as "not that bad" but I never got to the point where I genuinely thought it was a good thing. If you truly practice self love, then you practice self care as well, you seek to improve yourself and become more "you" and less the product of defeatism, food addiction, and lethargy. You are not upset with yourself because society has convinced you that your are not worthy, you are upset with yourself because you are not living up to your potential. You know who you are, you know what you are supposed to look and feel like, your future potential self is screaming at you to get up and GROW! EVOLVE! ADAPT! It's so much easier to mug someone and steal their money than it is to work for money, just as it is easier to lash out against society for your insecurities than to work on yourself. Stop fighting for change and start WORKING for change. You'll be amazed at how amazing you are and will be and will FEEL once you start making the right choices and seeing results. People struggle with self love, but it's not for lack of psychological tricks and mantras and hopeful imagery on the internet, it's for lack of effort. You'll love yourself without having to try if you start accomplishing things and showing how powerful you truly are.
This post intrigues me. Loving yourself means wanting to change yourself?
Now I'm not suggesting that one can't love themselves and want to change things about themselves, but to suggest that loving yourself means wanting to change yourself seems odd to me.0 -
It's a difficult question. For me it's more about learning to have more confidence in myself on the whole and being positive about who I am and where I am now, whilst making a conscious effort to be healthy (not just focusing on the aesthetic side of it). I'm doing this because I love myself and love life and want to keep on living it as best I can!0
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I find there is a pretty big difference between "body positivity" and self love. Loving someone requires honesty, especially tough honesty, the kind they may not want to hear. I may have attempted to view my obesity as "not that bad" but I never got to the point where I genuinely thought it was a good thing. If you truly practice self love, then you practice self care as well, you seek to improve yourself and become more "you" and less the product of defeatism, food addiction, and lethargy. You are not upset with yourself because society has convinced you that your are not worthy, you are upset with yourself because you are not living up to your potential. You know who you are, you know what you are supposed to look and feel like, your future potential self is screaming at you to get up and GROW! EVOLVE! ADAPT! It's so much easier to mug someone and steal their money than it is to work for money, just as it is easier to lash out against society for your insecurities than to work on yourself. Stop fighting for change and start WORKING for change. You'll be amazed at how amazing you are and will be and will FEEL once you start making the right choices and seeing results. People struggle with self love, but it's not for lack of psychological tricks and mantras and hopeful imagery on the internet, it's for lack of effort. You'll love yourself without having to try if you start accomplishing things and showing how powerful you truly are.
This post intrigues me. Loving yourself means wanting to change yourself?
Now I'm not suggesting that one can't love themselves and want to change things about themselves, but to suggest that loving yourself means wanting to change yourself seems odd to me.
Idk if it's what the previous commenter meant, but I'd say that loving yourself means acknowledging that we're all changing all the time, and wanting to make that change as beneficial as possible.1 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I find there is a pretty big difference between "body positivity" and self love. Loving someone requires honesty, especially tough honesty, the kind they may not want to hear. I may have attempted to view my obesity as "not that bad" but I never got to the point where I genuinely thought it was a good thing. If you truly practice self love, then you practice self care as well, you seek to improve yourself and become more "you" and less the product of defeatism, food addiction, and lethargy. You are not upset with yourself because society has convinced you that your are not worthy, you are upset with yourself because you are not living up to your potential. You know who you are, you know what you are supposed to look and feel like, your future potential self is screaming at you to get up and GROW! EVOLVE! ADAPT! It's so much easier to mug someone and steal their money than it is to work for money, just as it is easier to lash out against society for your insecurities than to work on yourself. Stop fighting for change and start WORKING for change. You'll be amazed at how amazing you are and will be and will FEEL once you start making the right choices and seeing results. People struggle with self love, but it's not for lack of psychological tricks and mantras and hopeful imagery on the internet, it's for lack of effort. You'll love yourself without having to try if you start accomplishing things and showing how powerful you truly are.
This post intrigues me. Loving yourself means wanting to change yourself?
Now I'm not suggesting that one can't love themselves and want to change things about themselves, but to suggest that loving yourself means wanting to change yourself seems odd to me.
You're changing now. You are going to be someone different in 10 years. You can choose to loose, gain, or maintain your weight during that time. Trying to be happy with yourself in spite of things that are harming your health or self esteem is a good strategy for things that you cannot change or don't want to change, but choose that out of honest introspection to help improve your life, not out of laziness or spite.
There are some musicians out there who only know 5 chords and 1 blues scale and so they call themselves blues musicians. There are other musicians who learn as many chords and scales as they can and they CHOOSE to play the blues because that is what they wanted but they could choose anything else the second they want to because they have all the tools already. That's what I believe self love is, you use all the tools available, learn everything you can, blind yourself to nothing, figure out your logical shortcomings and your emotional blind spots, then once you have all of the choices and costs and benefits laid out before you, you make a conscious and concentrated decision to be who you want to be and you walk that path.
I believe most people who are fat, then choose "HAAS" or "Body Positivity" because that is the easiest place for them to be, and the alternative seems so far, so hard, and so unlikely that they just can't even start walking that path. Instead I want people to know that it's easy, it's slow, it's possible, they can do it, only stay way you are because you GENUINELY want to be there, not because your confirmation bias and your inertia is holding you back.1 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I find there is a pretty big difference between "body positivity" and self love. Loving someone requires honesty, especially tough honesty, the kind they may not want to hear. I may have attempted to view my obesity as "not that bad" but I never got to the point where I genuinely thought it was a good thing. If you truly practice self love, then you practice self care as well, you seek to improve yourself and become more "you" and less the product of defeatism, food addiction, and lethargy. You are not upset with yourself because society has convinced you that your are not worthy, you are upset with yourself because you are not living up to your potential. You know who you are, you know what you are supposed to look and feel like, your future potential self is screaming at you to get up and GROW! EVOLVE! ADAPT! It's so much easier to mug someone and steal their money than it is to work for money, just as it is easier to lash out against society for your insecurities than to work on yourself. Stop fighting for change and start WORKING for change. You'll be amazed at how amazing you are and will be and will FEEL once you start making the right choices and seeing results. People struggle with self love, but it's not for lack of psychological tricks and mantras and hopeful imagery on the internet, it's for lack of effort. You'll love yourself without having to try if you start accomplishing things and showing how powerful you truly are.
This post intrigues me. Loving yourself means wanting to change yourself?
Now I'm not suggesting that one can't love themselves and want to change things about themselves, but to suggest that loving yourself means wanting to change yourself seems odd to me.
You're changing now. You are going to be someone different in 10 years. You can choose to loose, gain, or maintain your weight during that time. Trying to be happy with yourself in spite of things that are harming your health or self esteem is a good strategy for things that you cannot change or don't want to change, but choose that out of honest introspection to help improve your life, not out of laziness or spite.
There are some musicians out there who only know 5 chords and 1 blues scale and so they call themselves blues musicians. There are other musicians who learn as many chords and scales as they can and they CHOOSE to play the blues because that is what they wanted but they could choose anything else the second they want to because they have all the tools already. That's what I believe self love is, you use all the tools available, learn everything you can, blind yourself to nothing, figure out your logical shortcomings and your emotional blind spots, then once you have all of the choices and costs and benefits laid out before you, you make a conscious and concentrated decision to be who you want to be and you walk that path.
I believe most people who are fat, then choose "HAAS" or "Body Positivity" because that is the easiest place for them to be, and the alternative seems so far, so hard, and so unlikely that they just can't even start walking that path. Instead I want people to know that it's easy, it's slow, it's possible, they can do it, only stay way you are because you GENUINELY want to be there, not because your confirmation bias and your inertia is holding you back.
Well, that's a lot of varied information there. But to try and stay on topic, it's the bolded part that most intrigues me and now that you've further clarified, it's the part I disagree with.
Again, not saying one can't do those things out of self love. But loving yourself doesn't mean you must learn everything or constantly try to 'better yourself'. Yes, life means learning and changing, but that type of inevitable change and increased knowledge is very different from purposeful learning or changing. It's completely possible love yourself and not want to purposefully change.0 -
Of course you can. Body positivity is about loving, appreciating and accepting our bodies and ourselves3s as we are. You show love and appreciation best by taking care of it. Eating healthier and exercising isn't necessarily about looking "better" and changing, it is about loving yourself enough to do what is m best for YOU, physically, nutritionally, mentally and socially.Being fine with how you look at 300 lbs is great, Deciding that how you'd be able to move and not feel sick and sore at 150 lbs is also amazing.0
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I kind of understand where everybody is coming from, but it's a bit of an idealistic way of looking at it. We as humans can be overly optimistic in a "bad things happen to others but not to me" kind of way, and incredibly shortsighted thinking "I feel fine now, so now is all that matters". Although self improvement is an expression of self love (or self hate in some cases, trying to reach a point of self love), self love doesn't come with any specific conditions. You can love yourself and just do the things that make you feel happy or comfortable in that specific moment, with only a passing thought of "I probably shouldn't be doing this, but eh.. It feels good, I love feeling good". It's also possible to love yourself but have different priorities, love yourself but not want to put in the work, not have enough knowledge to make it happen, or any other imaginable scenario. We're not talking theories, we're talking people with an inner world and all kinds of ways to interact with that inner world, and all kinds of ways the outer world influences that. It's not cut and dry.1
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